Mindy Kaling book giveaway

Mindy Kaling Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?OfficeTally is giving away three copies of Mindy Kaling’s book, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns), courtesy of publisher Crown Archetype!

In the book, Mindy invites you on a tour of her life and her unscientific observations on romance, friendship, and Hollywood, with several conveniently placed stopping points for you to run errands and make phone calls.

UPDATE: congratulations to winners Nick (26), Jerrica (53), and Maureen Quinlan (87) — you have each won a copy of Mindy’s book! Please watch your inbox for an email with more details.

Thanks to all for playing!

Giveaway rules are on the next page.

200 comments

  1. My favorite thing Mindy says in this excerpt is about spending time with your family. I always enjoyed hanging out at home with my parents when I was a teenager, which I suppose many people would find weird. However, I totally agree with Mindy when she says you only really have 18 years to just hang out with your family, and then it’s never really the same after that.

  2. My favorite part of the excerpt (I read it in May) is when she talks about how long it takes guys to put on shoes! I never noticed it before. They always have to sit down and really focus.

    I just bought the book, and got a second as a gift for my cousin just to discuss :)

  3. I really related to the Best Friends Rights and Responsibilities section. I have had some amazing friends who I can put directly into these descriptions. The honesty and truthfulness of this excerpt is genius, and I can not wait to read the whole book. I can say that my best friends have always been there for me in these important ways and I hope I am there for them. Friendship is a strong bond that can stand the greatest tests.

  4. I loved how she had “long, pro-tracted, unrequited crushes on older guys who didn’t know me”, because I was exactly the same way in high school.

  5. My favorite part of this excerpt was the Best Friend responsibilities. Friendships are about more than just listening to secrets and painting each other’s toenails. Mindy is spot on and so incredibly realistic with her descriptions of the quirky side of friendship. The last one, “We f’ing rock”, is the absolute truth. We all have friendships like that, and we all know ours is the best.

  6. My favorite part was the “I will try to like your boyfriend five times” guideline. It made me giggle to think about mentally checking off a list of specific attempts to like.

  7. My favorite part of this was the Best Friend responsibilities. Especially I will hate and relike people for you. Sometimes you just can’t keep track of who your friends are liking or hating at that particular moment. I get that!

  8. My favorite part was not having to be popular in high school and teen life not being like a song. Because whenever I heard some actors or celebs childhood being fun and crazy, i think mine was completely different. And yes i do enjoy hanging out with my family very much too. Also I’m 20 and i never been to a party that involves alcohol either. But the movies say your lame if you don’t find your high school sweetheart at one, or have the night of your life.

  9. I liked the part about high school. I was also the quiet observant type. If I was creative enough to write about some of the true characters I saw then, I would hope to be as famous as Mindy!

  10. “No two people are better than us”
    Change the two to a three and that is the greatest best friends rule my two best friends and I follow. I completely agree Mindy, best friends f-ing rock!

  11. I laughed out loud at the part about having a phone conversation accidentally disconnected. “This was a blessing.” Love it! My cell reception is generally terrible in my home and this happens to me very often. I need to start adopting this attitude!

  12. Mindy writes with the honesty and humor that you can only hope your friends have. Seriously, can we be besties? The section on being “overlooked” in high school was excellent. Unlike every tv show ever, most people find high school uneventful and act more like children than the twenty-somethings that portray them. Can’t wait to read the rest!

  13. The idea of a not so popular girl in high school becoming a comedy writing genius was my absolute favorite part. I was put in the back row of the dance routine in show choir and I never had a date to prom, so this gives me hope that all of that will pay off when I can turn it into comedy gold. Preach it for those who had a high school experience similar to yours Mindy! Wallflowers rule.

  14. What’s not my favorite part? If I had to narrow it down, I love that best friends must provide the preferred feminine hygiene products and contact solution, even if they are judging you while doing so.

  15. My favorite part of the book excerpt was the guideline under “Best Friends Rights and Responsibilities” of “If our phone conversation gets disconnected, there’s no need to call back.” My best friend and I have this happen all the time and we know that we could talk for hours and when it happens, we know it’s a sign it had to end sometime.

  16. I loved how she talked about not making a big deal out of high school. So many girls these days are living their high school lives but they need to understand that no one cares about what you did in high school. It’s also refreshing that she says to go to a non-online school.

  17. I love how she writes like she is talking to you, it’s so casual and is like having a conversation with one of the most hilarious, interesting people! And I LOVE The Office, so reading her writing has made me appreciate the episodes she has written even more!

  18. I loved the “Nguyen and Ari” parody of Mellencamp’s song. Not just because I went to a high school that had to add a separate field in the phone book to differentiate between the dozens of “Nguyens” that attended classes with me but also because of the backgrounds given for Nguyen and her Jewish lover Ari.

  19. I absolutely love the Best Friends Rights and Responsibilities. I followed Mindy when she was posting a bunch on twitter and homegirl had me cracking up. They are all so true!

  20. I liked her thoughts on popular culture and how pop culture reflects– and distorts– reality.

  21. I love her talking about high school because I did not peak in high school and am thankful for that. The honesty and humor about being overlooked is something i can relate to.

  22. As someone who would spend my Friday nights at the movies with my father watching some great (Fargo) and some weirdly inappropriate films (Wild Things – yes, I saw it with my dad), I totally relate to the spending as much time with your family as possible. I wish I could spend time with them now, but we live states away.

    Also, as a Hoosier, her observations about Mellencamp are 100 percent correct.

  23. By far my favorite part of the excerpt was Mindy’s hyper-practical advice to her freewheeling one-night-stand-having friend. Her incredulity at the notion of her friend just hanging out without undergarments (“in, like, repose?”) as if she lives in a letter to Penthouse was delightful & relatable.

  24. My favorite part of the excerpt is when Mindy completely calls out best friends for taking forever to get off the phone with each other. Best friends also totally have the psychic connection where they know if the call gets cut off, they’ll just pick it up at the same place later!

  25. I saw Mindy on John Stewart today…and you are a funny girl! Who knew? Very cute; love the way you bring in tradition with modern day stories and life. You make me want to SMILE. Julie :)

  26. I loved the fact that she harps on how unimportant high school is. I hated high school and didn’t thrive there, and that definitely doesn’t mean you’re screwed for life. Wise, wise words.

  27. I’m also a fan of calls dropping when I’m talking to my BFF. Makes life so much simpler.

  28. It’s hard to pick a favorite part because this entire book is going to be amazing! But if I had to choose I would definitely say “I will try to like your boyfriend five times.” Me and my best friend go through this all the time when we go to dinner with one another’s new boyfriend so I can relate! Mindy nails it right on the head with this one! Can’t wait to read the whole book!

  29. My favorite part is the best friend rights. I’m glad someone put into writing what most of us girls are already expecting out of our best friend. I like to believe the Kelly and Erin read that section and then posted it on each others facebook walls.

  30. The part about “Jack and Diane” is the best part of this excerpt. We wonder why our schools are failing, why there are no jobs, but what are we really doing to fix it? She understands the idealized American life and uses Mellencamp’s song to show what we turn it into and the lack of effort in trying to achieve the idealized goal. Mindy’s book may be marketed toward females, but as a straight male if I lose I’m still going out to get the book…with money I earned from a job I got living my life after high school.

  31. My favorite part is her own rendition of “Jack and Diane” – not only is it a more accurate portrayal of my high school memories, but it represents this country a little better!

  32. My favorite part of this excerpt is where she talks about how it’s ok to not be popular in high school. I always felt like a weird kid because I didn’t party or drink. I wasn’t striving to be popular. I just knew I’d rather read a book and watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer than party. When she said that she thought she missed out because of how high school was “dramatized on television”, that so hit home with me! I thought I was the only one who felt that way. I always felt more akin to the really nerdy kids in my school. They really knew what they liked and weren’t trying to fit in with what everyone else was doing. I can’t wait to read the rest of this book!

  33. I think my favorite part of the book excerpt was the recommendation to not ‘peak’ in high school. I remember how, growing up, I was equally scandalized by people telling me high school would be the best time of my life.

  34. Mindy finds Jack & Diane disgusting! So do I! My favorite bit from the excerpt is the reimagined Jack & Diane as Nguyen and Ari. I was an immigrant kid who got bullied in high school by the people who now bag my groceries when I visit my hometown. Yeah!

  35. My favorite part of Mindy Kaling’s book was when she discussed how she studied people and was the definition of an observant weirdo. This has been my exact experience and I am now glad I can tell my friends that it will help me and celebrities do it too!

  36. I was in marching band and chess club in high school and spent every Friday night watching 13 Going on 30 over and over again (while eating Razzles) so I’m glad Mindy agrees that high school is not the end all beat all

  37. I’m completely convinced the “Best Friend Rights and Responsibilities” was written about me and my best friend. Especially the last one- because yeah, we fucking rock. I love that Mindy acknowledges the fact that high school is definitely not the time of our lives, and if it is, that is highly unfortunate. Wallflowers and awkward ducklings will always come out on top!

  38. Wow. What an amazing opening to a book by a lovely woman! I was so surprised to see that Mindy Kaling had come out with a memoir, but I guess as one of the writers of my all-time favorite show, it would have to be awesome. My favorite part of the excerpt? Her personality shining through each and every word she chose to use, along with her heart for students. She feels so strongly about students being students, rather than students trying to live as adults, and then graduating and realizing they really did grow up way too fast. Her view of students’ relationships with their parents is also golden and so wise; something our culture tells us to steer far away from, even though our parents can and will teach us more than any human being we will ever come in contact with. I can’t wait to read this book, whether it’s by winning this generous contest, or purchasing it for myself. Thank you for this opportunity.

  39. What I enjoyed most about this excerpt was Mindy’s irrefutably refreshing advice for young people in “Don’t Peak in High School”. I’ve read countless celebrity books with this almost obligatory pep talk to young people everywhere, but Mindy writes with a real sense of honesty that is perfectly conveyed in this excerpt. I can’t wait to get my hands on this book.

  40. My favourite part was the Best Friends Rights and Responsibilities. They’re all so funny and true! So easy to relate to!

  41. Honestly, I have to say my favorite part was the question of whether Luke Perry was “a narc.” Because yeah, I always was confused how ultra-coiffed men in their twenties were seen as Joe Normal on all those shows.

    But yeah, “My So-Called Life” was amazing.

  42. I read this excerpt awhile ago and immediately shared a key quote from it with my best friend, because we are the girls who learn Latin, hang out with our families, and last but not least, have “long, protracted, unrequited crushes on older boys”. We both empathized so much with this small excerpt and were comforted by the connections made to our seemingly humdrum lives. High school seems so much easier from this encouraging and retrospective standpoint :)

  43. This is absolutely hilarious. The rights and responsibilities section is written with such realism and that’s what it makes it so funny. My best friends and I adhere to almost all of these and it’s so important to follow the rules if you want the relationship to survive. The “I Will Take Care Of Your Kid” rule is so true. My sister and my best friend have both asked me and I responded, “Of course. Let’s just not talk about it though. Side note, they’re eating what I eat, which means you will have the pickiest of children.” I’ve sent the excerpt to my best friends so…I’ve just sold about 5 books. You’re welcome :)

  44. My favorite part of the excerpt is when Mindy talks about high school. I knew people that were peaking and they always freaked me out because I could not wait to go to college and travel the world. I also distinctly remember playing Disney Trivial Pursuit with my best friends on a Saturday night while three parties with alcohol were happening – and we were not invited to any of them.

  45. My favorite part was the description of ‘Nguyen and Ari’, because I can relate to being the child of Asian immigrants. I’ve taken SAT prep courses. I wasn’t allowed to watch tv. I wasn’t allowed to go out on weeknights. I didn’t party. Also, Mindy’s really funny.

  46. Oh dear. I’m already feeling like I can’t even wait until the end of this contest to see if I win because I feel like I need the book right.now.!! My favorite part of the book was the best friend outline. I honestly got teary eyed reading her hilariously sweet words and thinking how many times my best friend and I have either said it or thought those same points! Best friends really are the best friends! That is followed by a close 2nd to the high school section. I taught high school students for 5 years and was constantly telling them not to let these be the best days of their lives! They are so funny, but impulsive, impressionable, and for heavens sake, they are so dang overwhelmed and pressured! I love that you are being honest and not having to have some testimony of a battered past to live a beautiful and meaningful life. I can’t wait to read this book!

  47. I love her explanation of being “that weird girl” in school. That was totally me. I appreciate the values and rules her parents set up for her, because mine were the same. I was the smartest Mexican to graduate from my high school, but I knew, even then, that life would hold me to a higher standard. I cannot wait to read this book!

  48. I completely concur with Mindy on best friends sleeping in the same bed when it’s bigger than a twin and you’re on vacation. It seems weird and immoral to pay for 2 doubles while we shout gossip in what are obviously paper thin walls.

  49. My favorite part of the excerpt was definitely the “I Must Be 100 Percent Honest About How You Look, But Gentle” section. Honestly…I loved this entire chapter. Mindy has a way of writing down what every girl expects from her best friend and it was lovely to read.

  50. I love how she talks about the whole “Jack and Diane” obsession. The kids who do that in high school are the ones who end up staying in that town for the rest of their lives. Those like Mindy who have fun in high school but don’t take it too seriously are the ones who get out and become successful. And she presents this in an absolutely hilarious way, as usual!

  51. She articulates the truth about ordering pancakes so accurately.While easily the best option on the breakfast menu, you spend the rest of your weekend in a guilt-infused carbohydrate coma.

  52. I was completely captivated by the first paragraph. As someone who wants be an artist in the film and television industry, sometimes when i just think about it i feel like my head is exploding with stress of everything i try to be and accomplish. Now the way she just simply says to go to college and work hard makes me feel at ease. No tricks, no complicated Hollywood story. Just an awesome hardworking person. That completely gave me hope unlike the thousand of unvarnished quotes left behind in the rainstorm still hoping to give a little sprinkle of pity when they are down. I cant wait to read this book.

  53. I appreciate the way she discusses the importance (or lack thereof) of high school the most. I definitely shared some of her same feelings when I was in high school and a lot of what she says is so true. Status in high school means nothing once you move to the next stage of your life. Achieving academically can definitely affect you beyond high school but who the hell cares who the prom queen was?

  54. That first part of the excerpt was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. for the last 3 years I’ve been wishing I was as outgoing as I was in high school, but now I realize I don’t have to be. I’m trying to get more into writing, and while I was on the fence about buying this book, this small portion will already stick with me for a while. Right from the first paragraph I related so well. But in a different way. I wasn’t ‘popular’ but I was known, people generally liked me. In fact, high school was a nice time for me, and it wasn’t until now in college that I’ve become a bit of a wallflower.

  55. My favorite part is Don’t Peak in High School. I was reserved in all my class except band. It was here that I was the class clown. Band was a different world, cut off from the rest of the school but the same mechanics applied. Instead of being judged on how fast you could run, people were judged on how well they could play the runs in Bachanale or March Slav. After we graduated, no one cared if you could hit a high C on your trumpet if you were still working at Lucky’s Super Market.

  56. This book is perfect for those of us who didn’t peak in high school. I also actually enjoyed spending time with my family, but when I was in high school I was told that’s not something you admit to people unless you want it to seem like your mom is your best (and only) friend (not the case for me, I swear!).
    I’m glad there are people like Mindy who voice that the thrill of living is not (or should not be) gone after high school ends.

  57. I immediately connected with “Don’t Peak in High School”. My nerdy, unassuming 16 year old self could have really used this book.

  58. I love that your learned about pot on 21 jump street! I learn things by watching TV to!

  59. My favorite part of the excerpt was the part on best friend rights… especially the part about about boyfriends. So relatable! That whole chapter could have been written by my best friend and I.

  60. The story of Nguyen and Ari resonates because it is far more realistic to how I was raised and parent. Moving away from the “Jack and Diane” of last century into the broader dynamic of today’s american dream is clever and refreshing. Keep talking Mindy, let’s hang out!

  61. I loved the best friend requirements because it was funny but also honest–good rules to follow for any best friend.

  62. I always thought “Jack and Diane” described a mythical land — thanks, Mindy, for breaking it down into an argument I can regurgitate. I plan to mention the loitering point to anyone who will listen.

  63. The best part of this excerpt, unequivocally, is “We fucking rock, no one can beat us”. Too true, except the part where it doesn’t pertain to Ms. Kaling but in fact to me and my best friend.

  64. “I just want ambitious teenagers to know that it is totally fine to be quiet, observant kids.” Oh boy, did this is speak to me. I recently graduated high school, but it seemed, at the time, like being outgoing and social was not only something the ‘popular’ kids looked for in their friends, it was something the teachers looked for in their favorite students (‘Oh, that Amir. He’s a smart kid, but so quiet!’). It was hard because I didn’t really know how to socialize, or even want to. I was fine with being the quiet girl. I was even fine with eating lunch alone. It wasn’t until school counselors and teachers descended on me like vultures and tried to ‘help’ me that I realized maybe being content and quiet wasn’t okay.
    I did have one teacher who was fine with who I was. He worked at the local Borders (rest in peace) and when my mother went in to buy a book one time, she struck up a conversation. “My daughter Shelby is in your A.P. Econ class!”
    “Oh, I love Shelby! She’s so smart. She listens to everything everyone says.” When my mom came home and relayed this to me, I knew I would be fine, and I have been. Five stars Mindy Kaling, five stars.

  65. My favorite part was when she told teenage girls not to be popular in high school. I for reals agree. Not only does trying to be popular ultimately lead you down a path of insecurity and self-doubt, but everyone knows (I guess not high schoolers) that the plastics turn into fat, uneducated hillbillies and get smashed at class reunions, trying to remember a time when they were ‘it’. So, stick with it, girls. Your flower will blossom.

  66. I’m so excited to read the whole book!
    Fave part (so far!) is the Best Friend Rights and Responsibilities, especially “I will hate and re-like people for you”. It’s so true, and I am so thankful my BFF is as amazing as Mindy’s sounds!
    xox

  67. I loved the part about hating and re-liking people. You definitely do become a “we” with your besties! Glad there’s the stipulation there though. Sooo hard to keep up sometimes!

  68. I love that she compared herself to Eugene Levy in Waiting for Guffman! I am also an avid people watcher and I like to think that it has an impact on my writing because I can come up with some of the craziest characters and scenarios. Although, to be fair, I’m sure my writing has been impacted by the loads of journalism and english classes I take at Ohio University as well.

  69. I loved the final words on Jack & Diane and the affirmation that high school is not the peak of one’s existence. Mindy’s book seems like it will really detail the “thrill of living” well past high school and I can’t wait to read about her exploits.

  70. I love that I read the entire thing in Mindy’s voice, and I can’t wait to read the rest! I love that I realize now some hilarious tidbits she tweeted in the past were actually 140 character excerpts of this book. I love that grammar and spelling count! I love overuse of exclamation points!

  71. It’s so hard to pick but I think it would be the “Nguyen and Ari” part in particular. I’d be pick that because I am Vietnamese and that whole paragraph about helping her parents (in my case it was not a Holiday Inn but a nail shop instead) rang so true to me. The whole high school thing was on point for me actually, since I also grew up in Indiana which is John Mellencamp central. “Observant weirdo” describes me a little too perfectly. It was just so strange being one of the three (and the other two were related to me!) Asian kids in high school, especially considering I was painfully awkward and timid. I’m so glad she wrote that section, I think that is exactly what my high school self needed to hear. Thanks so much, Mindy Kaling!

  72. My favorite thing is her insistence to current HS students that the popular kids don’t win forever. It’s so true. I wish I could go back and convince my 11th grade self that one day I would pity my beautiful, homecoming queen childhood BFF. We all blossom in our own time, and I’m happy that my time is now.

  73. My favorite part was:
    IF OUR PHONE CONVERSATION GETSDISCONNECTED, THERE’S NO NEED TO CALL BACKI get it. You get it. We take forever getting off the phone anyway.This was a blessing.

    This reminds me so much of conversations with my best friend. She’s the only one I can call and not feel at a total loss when the line is disconnected. That’s a truly awesome feeling.

  74. My favorite part of the provided excerpt is the story about Nguyen and Ari, who work hard and support their families in addition to working hard on their own school work, which make it hard for them to loiter in a parking lot as a lot of TV shows and movies have depicted teen life.

    This is my favorite part because I can completely relate to Nguyen and Ari, more so than the teens on 90210. Their lives are what my life was like as a teen.

  75. My favorite part was best friend rights and responsibilities–so true! I would add I Will Always Go to Your Open-Mic Night at the Coffee House and I Can Always Call You To Look Up Directions for Me When I Get Lost Because I Don’t Own a Smartphone.

  76. My girlfriend’s relationship with her best friend is strangely intense, and I’ve always felt it exists on a very deep level. Mindy shines some light into the dark forces involved that males just don’t understand! I feel like this book will be a window into a girls soul, and while it’s something ladies will be able to relate to, it’s also something boys and men should read and take heed of!

    I also didn’t expect her to call out John Cougar Mellencamp!

  77. Can I just say I loved it all? Mindy is like Occupy Wall Street and represents the 99 percent of us who weren’t popular in high school or conventionally pretty.

  78. Mindy Kaling is my hero. She has described my high school experience with wit and humor and without making me feel lame. I now feel empowered. And does she know my best friend and me? Her BFF Rules and Regulations are the perfect description of what it means to be a girl with a best friend. Mindy Kaling, will you be my new best friend? Thank you for writing a book for girls who learn all their life lessons from TV shows and go to non-online universities.

  79. I’m a mature Mindy fan and love the truth about high school popularity. I was an overlooked student. I don’t have any fame to spread the wonderful news that ones high school days are a blink of an eye in ones life. Just don’t go back to a high school reunion because it’s all still the same and worth leaving once and for all! Thanks Mindy.

  80. The best friend requirements are my favorite. So many are true with my best friends and myself. It’s cool to know she feels the same way about hers. On another site they had the audio for the excerpt and it was even more fun having her read it to us.

  81. Actually, her first bit of advice, that being the star in high school has no bearing on where you end up in life was the what I enjoyed the most. It’s something more kids should know.

  82. I love how honest she is about living with her best friends. Sometimes you don’t want to call them out on their annoying habits, but if you do it with humor, then it really doesn’t seem so bad.

  83. I loved how relateable Mindy Kaling’s writing is! Both her writing style and content make me feel like I’m having coffee with a wise modern woman who’s been through similar situations to myself among other situations I’ll encounter, offering witty insight.

  84. “I was never the lead in the play. I don’t think I went to a single party with alcohol at it. No one offered me pot.”

    That was me. I am Mindy. Well, except for the part where she can write plays, tv shows, books and stuff. I was actually just telling my dad last week that I had never been offered pot (I’m 27). I never had to “Just say NO.”

    I can’t wait to finish reading this book! Mindy is so awesome!

  85. The best friend rules were the best. Specifically the “I can ditch you, within reason” part. That’s always something that needs to be understood, especially convincing the dude how much you love your main gal. Loved loved loved it.

  86. I find it great that she, as a person having recently enough been a child, but long enough to realize how her actions then affected her now. People may fret because they think that they’ll never be famous because their music teacher didn’t put them in a play, or showcase, or any type of production, but Mindy shows that all of that is nearly irrelevant. She tells us she was never the lead, and look now. Millions of Office fans everywhere love her, and 4 pages of Office fans are trying very hard just to get a copy of her book!

  87. The first part of the excerpt about not peaking in high school was my favorite part. I am about to graduate college and dream of following in Mindy’s comedy writing footsteps. I often have anxiety about it because I never made any of the plays in high school and have have tons of my writing unaccepted by various publications. With that said, I found that excerpt hilariously comforting.

  88. I love that someone finally admits that not all teenagers hate their parents (at least not all the time)

  89. The high school memory was my favorite part of the excerpt. Coming from a family of immigrant Americans, I understood what Mindy was referring to. From hanging out, to going to school parties and dances (Which I was never allowed to attend) was not a priority for me, my studies were although, it did make me feel like the odd one out. That coupled with the fact that I was the only Indian person in my entire high school (grades6-12 + special education) made it more obvious that my family held a different opinion of the meaning of school. I spent most of my teen years with my family and I am thankful for that. Mindy’s book really speaks to me. My sister laughed at the title because I’m always complaining that my friends are hanging out without me.

  90. Quite frankly, I found that the entire excerpt resonated with me. If I have to pick an absolute favorite bit, it is the rule that Best Friend A will try to like Best Friend B’s boyfriend five times. I appreciate that it is a number of instances, not a span of time; this is how weird people like myself and my besties think. I also loved the feminine products and contact lens solution rules because of the genuine teasing-but-loving tone, and because I think this is something friends do. Top to bottom, I’m a fan!

  91. I love the section about not peaking in high school. One of the things I talk about with my roommates is when we think we peaked, and we always decide that it would be the best to peak when you’re around 50, and not in high school (or even worse, middle school)!

  92. My favorite part of the excerpt was EVERYTHING. I think Mindy reads my mind or my diary. For example, I also find “Jack and Diane” a little disgusting, not so much because of Mellencamp’s portrayal of an all-American teen romance, but mostly because of the phrase “suckin’ on a chili dog.” Gross.

  93. You can’t argue with her advice to teenage girls… do the regular stuff and then you’ll get a shot at fame. Sometimes you just don’t need the Miley Cyrus experience to make it in “the biz”.

  94. I like that Mindy (we’re now on a first name basis, me having enjoyed this excerpt so much) manages to advocate for education, intelligence, and good manners all while remaining completely approachable. Her quick reference to Tennessee Williams demonstrates this perfectly: you might miss it if you don’t know who he was, but the comparison is apt without resorting to a celebrity-of-the-week reference.

  95. She keeps it real. She keeps it true. I like that she took “Jack and Diane” and tore it apart, because I feel like a lot of the songs we hear as kids shape us, and we don’t even know why. Sometimes we just like the tune, but we don’t even know what words we are listening to. I’m excited to read this because everything we ever idealized in life was and still is based on unrealistic things. I’m excited to read and learn from something real!

  96. “It wasn’t until I was sixteen that I even knew marijuana and pot were the samething. I didn’t even learn this from a cool friend; I gleaned it from a syndicated episode of 21 Jump Street.”
    That one made me laugh out loud in my cubicle! Love the best friend stuff, so true. Can’t wait to read the whole thing!

  97. My favorite piece is the one about “Best Friend Requirements.” It’s funny and so very true.

  98. Best Friend Rights and Responsibilites. This makes me sad because I don’t have anyone like this, but happy because I know the rules for when I do ! I’m only 18 so my time will come. I had about the same exact high school experience as what Mindy wrote on the first page so I’ll wait for my college best friend. And THIS was bitchin’ — “In-cidentally, your kid will grow up loving Indian food.” NEED THIS BOOK ASAP. I want to read more now !

  99. I ABSOLUTELY loved the Best Friend Rights and Responsibilities. It made me think of my and my best friends and all of our funny memories with those unspoken rules (and also kinda kicked me in the butt for the rules I hadn’t been following). It was witty, and truthful. I feel like she has lived a typical and wonderful life and she wrote a book just telling everyone that it’s cool! We’re supposed to be this way! We’re not the only ones that are virtually unnoticed! I loved it, and I’d really love to get my hands on the rest of it!

  100. This book has been on my wishlist. I can’t wait to read it. I love her best friend rules. They give me flashbacks to a time when my friends and I really did believe that we had to share ALL of our clothes. It was just an unspoken right. Great giveaway!

  101. My favorite part was the Best Friends Rights and Responsibilities section. You can always measure a person’s dedication when a situation becomes inconvenient. When I’m depressed, I can call the “bff” to make me laugh, when she’s sick she can call on me to check WebMD and list 8 possible diseases when it’s really just a cold, and when the call drops we both can count on the “Pssh 3G my butt” text as an apology and promise to call back later. Best Friends are just that; the most supreme friends with no one being better and Mindy Kaling did a great job.

  102. I laughed out loud at the “take care of your kid when you die” line. It’s true; we all have that conversation!

  103. Oh, sister, speak it! I can completely relate to feeling like I was missing out in high school- but now I know that I was just saving myself (and my parents) a lot of mental anguish and cash (from not having to buy weed or beer!)

  104. I love when she talks about trading off being social chair for outings with friends. One of my best girls and I totally take turns on this, and I’ve always referred to her as our group’s “social chair.” In general, the excerpt makes me think “oh my gosh, me too,” because everything she says is so right on with how I’ve felt in life. I <3 Mindy Kaling.

  105. I thoroughly enjoyed the entire excerpt. Mindy has a great style of writing. I loved, even as a dude, the friendship rules; they were all very true and most importantly, they were honest.

  106. My favorite line from the book is: “What I’ve noticed is that almost no one who was a big star in highschool is also big star later in life.”

    I have found that this is completely true. I was the unpopular, punk rock, skater chick. I was made fun of by the popular girls for wearing “that”, among other things. Thanks to Facebook and the passing of 20 years (yikes!), I can now see “how the turntables…” But really, I’m so glad that highschool isn’t real life. No matter how much it feels that way while we’re going through it.

  107. I love the best friend rules. It sounds too much like the unstated rules between my friends and I. I’m very excited to read this book!

  108. As the child of immigrant parents who did nothing except hard work, I love the part about the hardworking Vietnamese girl and Jewish boy. I also love the mention of SATs and AP classes and studying, because let’s be real, the not-so-fun part is always, always, always unrealistically overlooked when it comes to writing tv shows and songs and books about high school.

  109. I CAN DITCH YOU, WITHIN REASON
    I can ditch you to hang out with a guy but
    only
    if that possibil-ity has been discussed and getting-a-ride-home practicalitieshave been worked out, prior to the event. In return, I need totalk about you a lot with that guy so he knows how much I love you.
    This is just one of my favourite parts, especially the I love you part. Thank you for this honest document.

  110. Is there an emotion that depicts that one instant right after you realize “oh damn… she’s right”? It’s like… angry-comforting-surprised-relief. Mindy got me there after describing “Nguyen and Ari” (Irish drinking song, anyone?) and then reminiscing about spending those 18 years or so with family. I was caught up thinking about the song and “mountains of flashcards”, smirking at the irony but understanding the point being made, and then that moment just hit me: I do miss my family, and I do feel like I didn’t cherish them enough in high school (let’s face it, I liked Tastee Freez! And parking lots are more interesting when they don’t remind you of fighting for parking spaces around holidays…). I can’t help but be intrigued by what other eggs of knowledge Mindy is gonna crack open when I least expect it, or when I’m laughing so hard I’m crying, and then I’m crying because “oh damn… she’s right”.

  111. Friends, I AM that girl living in a tiny apartment in Brooklyn with her best friend (going on 16 years now… geez). Halloween? Me: I just want you to know, you panties are showing. It’s cool if that’s what you’re going for, but just an FYI. Her: No, you can’t wear that Minnie Mouse costume for the third year in a row. Kids? Not for me, but I’m already named Godmother if she dies, even if they end up with her boyfriend’s atrocious last name. Her old house number back in Massachusetts is the only phone number I still know by heart (sorry, Mom). She literally pushed me out of the bathroom when I tried to hold her hair while she got sick just so I could flirt with a dude. To top it all off, we own a dog together. So yes, that section is my favorite because it reminds me of how lucky I am to have a constant gym-buddy-stylist-bert-to-my-ernie-make-me-pull-out-my-hair-standing-dinner-date-fellow-horror-movie-enthusiast-lets-me-cheat-at-SceneIt-on-a-bad-day-nothing-but-the-best friend.

  112. Mindy’s Best Friend Rules made me snort with laughter. It is, by far, a book I would stay up until 5 A.M. to read.

  113. I love the part about the “American high school experience.” It speaks to all those girls who felt bad about not being out on Friday nights with all the “cool kids,” but instead spending time with their family. Those memories are the ones I treasure, not the ones by peers have of drunken stupors.

  114. I loved this excerpt! It was hilarious and very honest. Mindy Kaling is so talented and funny and has accomplished so much at such a young age. As an English major in college who wants to write novels myself, I definitely look up to Mindy and hope to achieve as much as she has. My favorite part was the friendship rules. There were so many parts that I laughed out loud at while reading. She really knows how to be a best friend and everyone should take her advice!

  115. My favorite part of the excerpt was when Mindy Kaling talked about her high school experience. I feel the same way about so many things at my school, and as an 8th grader it made me feel better knowing that I’m not the only one. I’m glad that I’m not peaking at this time, because now I know that I have time to be successful later in life. She explained it all so well.

  116. I love the part where she says “If our phone conversation gets disconnected, there’s no need to call back. I get it. You get it….This was a blessing.” That is so my friends and me!

  117. The part of the excerpt that spoke to me the most was the part about Best Friend Rules! I completely relate to the rules, and I wish some of my best friends knew these rules better! (I guess I will have to get them to buy this book, right?!) I love how relate-able the entire excerpt was; I think Mindy is a very talented writer and I can’t wait to see what else is in store!

  118. I teach middle school and I’d really like all my students to read this. They are so concerned with what other people think that they can’t be themselves. What a refreshing and honest take on a really difficult time!

  119. My favorite part of the book excerpt is definitely the Best Friend Rights and Responsibilities. Most of them have always been unspoken in all of my friendships, so it was nice to see them all listed and worded eloquently. Especially the statement about sharing a bed. I automatically judge people who judge girlfriends that share beds. It is a normal impulse people! Why on earth would you not want to fall asleep talking to your favorite person?

  120. My favorite part is the Luke Perry bit. I’ve always thought this too! Were we really supposed to believe that Luke Perry was just your average mysterious HS kid? No way! In the end though, it didn’t matter because we all overlooked it because he was hot. But, I’m with you on this Mindy! Totally unrealistic!

  121. My favorite part was the “It is okay to take me for granted” bit in Best Friend Rights & Responsibilities (though the whole section was a blast). It’s so true, and stated so straightforwardly.

    Second-favorite part: “Incidentally, your kid will grow up loving Indian food.” I laughed.

  122. I love the part about if Luke Perry went to her high school and how they would all ask who was the brooding greaser, was he a narc? Too funny! I always feel that way watching teen shows where the teens are so obviously not teens, balding anyone?

  123. I love the part about nursing you back to health. As an RN, all I could think about while reading that section was how fun it’d be to have someone like Mindy (or even better, Mindy herself) as a fellow RN colleague.

  124. Her advice to high school girls is probably the most interesting piece to me because it is real. I was not popular in school, never went to the “cool” parties and I worked my butt off to get good grades. After high school, I stopped being the shy, quiet girl because I learned there was no reason to be because that wasn’t me. I finally got to be the person I am today thanks to the four years of learning experience. It’s nice to read (and laugh!) about someone who didn’t rise to fame because of a famous parent but instead earned it all while being herself.

  125. I love that Mindy [I’m going to assume she’s alright with me calling her Mindy; she seems friendly] is an advocate for the “ambitious teenager,” and an advocate for ambitious women in general. I appreciate her writing even more knowing that she worked hard and stayed in on Friday nights to get where she is today.

  126. Don’t Peak in High School:
    Maybe it was because we were bitter that we weren’t popular but my friends and I would say this constantly. “Eff the bee, she’s peaked!” I wasn’t cool in High School, and I doubt any one would say I’m cool now but I don’t mind that I didn’t have boyfriends or do drugs because when people tell me their “crazy” high school stories I’m a little embarrassed for them, because mine are like “one time I ditched class to watch Oprah goes to the Holocaust in the yearbook room, and it was awesome!”

  127. I absolutely loved the excerpt!! My favorite part was Don’t Peak in High School. I graduated from high school recently and I totally relate to it all. Hell, I never did go to my senior prom and I’ve never been to any house party full of alcohol, smoke, and sex.. but, I have faith in my future because us wallflowers, we all have been degraded but we all will be the greatest, just like Mindy. Love this girl, such an inspiration.

  128. My favorite part of the excerpt was Mindy’s Best Friend Rules. My best friend is currently serving in the Peace Corps in Mongolia for two years, and these BF Rules made me laugh thinking about all the times they had applied to us. I immediately sent her the link to this page, and I’m sure I’ll have to send her a copy of this hilarious book! Even though she’s far away, we still Skype as much as we can. Even when we get disconnected, we don’t bother trying to reconnect because we know we’ll talk again in the next couple of days!

  129. I love the I will try to like your boyfriend 5 times rule. So true! I may have to give this book to my BFF with that paragraph highlighted.

  130. Do you have any idea how hard it is to pick my favorite part from this excerpt? Holy Moses. I think it would have to be the Best Friends rules. The best memories I have are from when I was living with 3 other girls and we had very similar rules to Mindy’s. The last line pretty much sums it up. Nothing can come between two friends who are meant to be together.

  131. I love Mindy’s writing style, like talking on paper. My favorite part of the excerpt was the first part about not being a star in high school, not being one of the popular kids, and that being okay. The vast majority of the American youth is NOT going to start out as popular, and yet we all end up successful somehow in our fields. It’s okay not to stand out then, when you’re still learning about yourself, but blossom when you’re older, when you have more knowledge and confidence about the way the world works. And it’s okay to have been sheltered and loved by your parents. She’s right, once you grow up, you don’t get to see them that often. I actually miss eating my mom’s Indian food all the time.

  132. I almost feel stupid writing a comment in order to win a free copy of this book, because honestly there is absolutely nothing holding me back from going out and buying this at full price–and that’s saying a lot seeing as I am a broke college student. I guess the moment I realized I desperately needed this book is when Kaling writes, “What I’ve noticed is that almost no one who was a big star in highschool is also big star later in life.” That whole paragraph about not peaking in high school is simply some of the most intelligent humor I’ve ever read. EVER.

  133. Her high school experience was so comforting to me in that I am exactly who she explained. Right now, I am studying the crap out of my textbooks because I really want to have a good job in the future! I’m not one to stress over social aspects of high school at the moment, nor will I care my senior year. “What I’ve noticed is that almost no one who was a big star in highschool is also big star later in life.” Brilliant.

  134. Her high school experience was so comforting to me in that I am exactly who she explained. Right now, I am studying the crap out of my textbooks because I really want to have a good job in the future! I’m not one to stress over social aspects of high school at the moment, nor will I care my senior year. “What I’ve noticed is that almost no one who was a big star in highschool is also big star later in life.” Brilliant.

  135. The class clown part is what I relate to. I was never the class clown, but you bet I studied the one at my high school. I’ve always been a keen people watcher, in high school and today, so it’s nice to know I’m not the only one who does this.

  136. The excerpt is very well written and honest. I enjoyed the part where she tells girls not to worry if they aren’t the cool, popular girl in high school. It is true that no one cares about your high school accomplishments once you graduate. It is also true that anyone who brings up their high school accomplishments too much seems like they have a problem. I was a studious “good girl” in high school, and I feel like I didn’t miss anything and am a well-rounded person now!

  137. My favorite part is when she says “I was never the lead in the play”. Since I was little it has always been my dream to become an actress but every play I ever took part in, in high school and even grade school I would always be either the stage crew or an extra. So you don’t know how connected I feel with that statement. I also never drank until I was 19 so I know where she’s coming from when you have parents who don’t let you have much of a social life because of school. It just boosts my confidence to see how well she’s doing and basically lived the same life I have, so I can’t wait to read her book!

  138. The section that rang the truest with me was, “I will nurse you back to health”. We are our most vulnerable when we’re sick (and when we’re depressed) so it takes a lot of trust to admit to embarrassing ailments. It really embodies what it is to be a best friend when you accept this person, however gross the symptoms, and then man up from the time you’re comparing medications to the time you make your way to the counter will all of this crap and hope that the cashier isn’t so cute that it would be mortifying.

  139. The thing is, before tonight, I would’ve come up with some lame response about how I am so the person she describes in her book, but the truth is, I am not. I’ve never been the cheerleader, the book worm, the athelete, I was never even the super smart film nerd (according to some websites), I was just me, and that is what I related to in this excerpt.

    I related to what she wrote.

  140. Thank you for the insight about Best Friend Rights and Responsibilities! Now, I finally understand my 25-year old daughter!
    Every item listed applies to the bond my daughter and her BFF have had since junior high. Now I understand the unspoken love/hate thing and clothes sharing and phone call etiquette thing. I thought my daughter had a codependent relationship with her BFF, but thanks to Mindy, now I understand her better and I’m buying this book for her to give her the gift of humor during this difficult time of separation from her bestie while they live so far apart and have husbands now.

  141. My favorite part was when Mindy talks about what she was like in high school, having crushes on older guys, and actually liking her family. I can definitely relate. When I was in high school I was so awkward and dorky. I felt like no one knew me or cared about me. I had this huge crush on a senior boy who was essentially Rob Lowe in the 80s. One time I lucked out on having one of those slow motion, run into each other, papers flying up in the air, and locking eyes moments with him. It was just like the movies except that I didn’t say anything clever, and I wasn’t voted prom queen. I just went home and told my sister about it and then never had the guts to talk to him again. I heard somewhere that he’s in his 6th year of junior college and still lives with his parents. Yeah, I’m pretty glad I didn’t peak in high school.

  142. I would have to say that my favorite part was learning that we share a love for X-Files. I can remember many a night that I too watched it before turning in for bed.

  143. IF OUR PHONE CONVERSATION GETSDISCONNECTED, THERE’S NO NEED TO CALL BACK. I get it. You get it. We take forever getting off the phone anyway.This was a blessing.

    preach it.

  144. I’m very excited about this book. I read that exerpt a few months ago and I like all the best friend rules especially the “I will try to like your boyfriend 5 times” because I’ve definitely had to do that with some of my friends.

  145. My favorite part is about the overlooked kids in high school. Favorite line: “For us overlooked kids, its so wonderfully fair.” What a great line. Its true and such excellent word choice – “wonderfully fair”. Sometimes fair is wonderful. It might not be Jack and Diane flashy, but it just might be wonderful and exactly what you needed.

  146. I love her excerp on giving a friend’s boyfriend 5 tries before making judgement! I always think it’s important to get your friend’s opinion on a guy that you’re dating!

  147. Ok the “cattle prod feedback” line was awesome! My best friends and I employ this tactic with each other and yes it works every time. We still love each other and no one walks around looking like a strung out alley cat in heat wearing so much makeup that from a distance it looks like Harry Potter glasses.

  148. I can not wait for this book to come out! I read the excerpt way back when it first came out, and of course the link isn’t working for me now to save my life. But one of the things that completely won me over were the best friend rules and how you keep your bathroom stocked with your best friend’s preferred ‘feminine items’ even if nobody else uses them. This made me laugh out loud.

    Also, can I just say how refreshing it is to have a comment policy that addresses spelling & grammar!! The inner nerd in me LOVES this.

  149. I loved the Room Mate code of conduct! Very Funny and so true! Been there… though …I think I was the one who got engaged super fast…

  150. My favorite part of the excerpt was the Best Friend Rights and Responsibilities. I loved the “We Sleep in the Same Bed” one because that’s exactly what my best friend and I do :)

  151. LASIK surgery! It is scary and noone can persuade me to get one. I have this fear of an Armageddon, where it’s only me and my last pair of contact lenses. At the point I am not able to find a single bottle of lens solution, I will regret not getting LASIK. But for now, I rather listen to all of the LASIK-surgery-gone-bad stories and be happy I am not going to go through with it.

  152. As a fellow second-generation Indian-American, I can’t thank Mindy Kaling enough for being such a visible presence in entertainment. Everything I hear about her turns her into my pretend best friend, and this book seems like it will further this idea. I absolutely loved the idea of a song about Nguyen and Ari, the hard-working kids of immigrants. I am an overachieving minority kid from small-town Indiana, so I have conflicting feelings about John “Cougar” Mellencamp. Mindy’s song suggestion sounds much better.

  153. The part about Atheism, Hinduism and Christmas trees. I don’t call myself an atheist though i’m not a believer, since I’m always struggling with defining my love for many religious festivities like Diwali and Christmas. I love dressing up for Diwali, I love fireworks and I love having a christmas tree but no thank you to any religious affiliations. Mindy said it much better. When I read that part, it was like she read the exact thought I’ve had for ages and couldn’t put it so eloquently.

  154. I liked the part about her being quiet, observant, and a wallflower in high school, because that’s exactly what I was and I’m in college now working towards the film/television industry. So, that part was really inspiring for me. Also, the whole best friend part sounds exactly like me and my best friend :D

  155. I loved the part about how guys take so much longer to put their shoes on. I literally laughed out loud. I never noticed it before but after I read it I started paying attention and low and behold my guy friends definitely took longer to put them on. Are you ready? Nope they just started putting their foot in their shoe. They couldn’t have just left them laced and so they could just slip them back on? Some even thought it would be a good idea to polish their shoes just as we’re about to leave! (and it’s not a quick process either)

  156. I love her description of her high school life (academic clubs, movies with friends, Latin, unrequited crushes, spending time with family) because she basically described MY high school life…which clearly means I am almost as awesome as Mindy!

  157. My favorite part of the excerpt is the part about Nguyen and Ari, because it made me laugh out loud in the library at school. People stared and I looked like THAT girl, but it was worth it, because Mindy is hilarious. And I would also love to hear a love story that begins with the Princeton Review. That’s good stuff.

  158. I already loved Mindy from the show, reading this excerpt has made me fall into a whole obsessed “thing” with her. She made me feel cool, by pointing out that being a regular person is not only what she is, but its the norm, and most successful people were not the “cool” people in high school. I really hope that we get more of Mindy outside of “The Office” and this book she is a really amazing artist. Thank you.

  159. I love the “No two people are better than us” section, because I feel like this is the mantra my best friend and I chant when we’re about to do something really dumb/lame.

  160. My favorite part of the preview is when she discusses her high school experiences. Specifically when she talks about how she was a wallflower, always observing people instead of attending wild parties. This comes as such a relief to me because all my life I’ve acted the same way-quiet and observant. It gives me hope that one day I’ll be able to be in the same field as Mindy herself!

  161. My favorite part is DON’T PEAK IN HIGH SCHOOL, which might be the truest words ever printed. I didn’t even come close to peaking during my high school years and I think it’s such a valuable lesson for kids every where. I knew my feelings of being uncool and unpopular during high school were only temporary, and better times would lie ahead in my adult years, and boy was I right.

    Mindy, you’re the best—you speak what all us “uncool” girls feel!

  162. As the mom of two grown and successful kids, Mindy’s advice to teens is spot-on. But my favorite part of the excerpt, and a shining example of why she’s so cool, is when she references Dr. Alan Pearl from “Waiting for Guffman”. The movie is funny and offbeat, kind of like Mindy!

  163. My favorite part of the book is when Mindy mentions that the treatment of us “overlooked kids” in high school actually is fair later in life when you see what some of the so-called “popular” kids have become. I find this to be so true! I get a bit of selfish satisfaction when I think about those popular girls in high school who drank alcohol and threw parties while their parents were out of town. These same girls were also the ones who always got the hot boyfriend and captain of the football team. I’ve realized that working hard, and staying focused is the key to success (it sounds cheesy…but true!). As a middle school teacher, I see it every day. Those kids who have the best character are the ones who achieve the most. Unfortunately, they won’t realize that until they are old like me!

  164. I love her line, “I just want ambitious teenagers to know is totally fine to be quiet, observant kids.” I was one of these teenagers, and I cannot agree more that there is plenty to be learned in listening. It was not until after high school that I was able to realize the value in that, and be grateful for the fact that I did not peak in high school.

  165. I love your comments on how irrelevant high school popularity is in the real world and in fact can be the contrary to adult success. I too was a high school misfit, as noted by our high school year book’s last will & testament where I was voted “Talks Most, Says Least.” At the time I didn’t feel too bad, since some other girl was left with a write in vote of “A Wire Hanger.” You can figure out what that was referencing. Anyway at 27 I’d like to think I talk less and say more, but most importantly I could care less and am so glad I can self edit the ongoing yearbook that is facebook :-)

  166. Hands down my favorite segment was the part about Best Friend Rights. I’ve read that excerpt so many times and every single time it bring a smile to my face. I think my favorite line is “No two people are better than us. We fucking rock.” It’s just so perfect and SO Mindy!

  167. I wish I could thank Mindy in person for not liking that John Mellencamp song. Why does everyone love it so much? Anthemic I get it but seriously, you couldnt choose a different one or be origional and rock you own! Lets hear is for Nguyen and Ari!!

  168. Thanks for letting me read the excerpt. Mindy is so funny and very observant about life. I loved the best friends rights chapter. My best friend from college and I would sleep in the same twin bed all the time when I stayed with her at her sister’s apartment. She always made me sleep next to the wall but I guess that’s fair since it was her bed. I also liked the part about the hating and reliking of the same people. When gossiping about other people one or the other of us would always refer to someone as “we can’t stand him” or “we hate her.” This is a great read.

  169. The conclusion of “Don’t Peak In High School” was the topper for me: great advice, succinct and to the point. “Be like Allan Pearl.” “Come on, Mr. Cougar Mellencamp. Get a life.”

  170. My favorite part of the excerpt was from the “Don’t Peak in High School” chapter. I was a wallflower and I’m getting far enough away from high school now that I’m beginning to see just how right Mindy is when she says that “for us overlooked kids, it’s so wonderfully fair”!

  171. My favorite part of the excerpt was “WE WILL TRADE OFF BEING SOCIAL ACTIVITIES CHAIR FOR OUR OUTINGS.” This is SO applicable to my life. I feel like I’m always the “social activities chair,” and it’s so frustrating! I wish Mindy was my best friend. She just gets it.

  172. “I will hate it and find you really tedious, but I promise I won’t abandon you.” Ouch, a bit too honest. However, as I ponder the sentence a bit more, I found it relieving! If I hear my best friend tell me a story more than three times, I may stop listening the next time. If I see my friend crying with snot coming down her nose, I will probably think, “oh, that’s gross.” (Let’s be honest, though, everyone is ugly when she cries.) Mindy alludes to the humanness of us all. We can’t help but find certain traits unpleasant. What’s important, though, is that the best friend will stay. A best friend’s love is greater than the irritation she feels from dealing with a momentarily difficult friend. I like this passage because it helped me realize what kind of friend I want. I want and hope to be like Mindy – human in reacting but a hero in responding.

  173. My favorite part of the book excerpt was right at the beginning. “Don’t peak in High School” As a former wallflower, its very comforting to know that my peak may well still be ahead of me.

  174. “As a child of immigrant professionals, I can’t help but notice the wasteful frivolity of it all. Why are these kids not at home doing their homework?”

    That passage literally made me ‘laugh out loud’ and as a child of immigrant professionals myself, it’s hysterical to read my exact thoughts in your book and know that others felt the same way! Even as the children to first-generation immigrants, my sister and I grew up wondering how “those white kids” got away with being so free-spirited when we felt like we needed to do homework for subjects we didn’t even take. Your free excerpt has been so refreshing.

    Thank you for finally sticking it to Dwight and giving Kelly Kapoor her “story hour.”

  175. “I just want ambitious teenagers to know it is totally fine to be quiet, observant kids.”
    I am very excited to have come across this excerpt! Mindy Kalling writes in a manner which is completely relatable as it is open and honest. This particular line spoke to me because I was–and still can be–that quiet observable kid. There is nothing wrong with these traits and you do not need to push yourself to be something you’re not comfortable with. When you’re characterized as the quiet, observant kind, the moment when you do open your mouth to speak can be pivotal to those around you. It’s as if people will stop and listen to you because they know that under that quiet exterior, you have been hiding some wisdom. So don’t forget to speak wisely and graciously! You have more power behind what you say than you may realize.

  176. “I WILL HATE AND RE-LIKE PEOPLE FOR YOU.” This speaks volumes. You have to love a friend that throws caution to the moral compass and always takes your side. Done. No questions asked.

  177. Love Mindy’s advice to teenage girls: “Don’t peak in high school”. So true. Can’t wait to read the rest of this book!

  178. My favorite part is where she says:
    I just want ambitious teenagers to know it is totally fine tobe quiet, observant kids. Besides being a delight to your parents,you will find you have plenty of time later to catch up.

  179. “If Luke Perry had gone to my highschool, everybody would have thought, “What’s the deal with this brooding greaser? Is he a narc?”

    I got a great laugh from this part of the excerpt. My daughter is in the stage where everything happening in her social circle is “life or death”. I can’t tell her enough that the things and people that seems so incredibly important right now are really just a vapor in her life. I mean…I remember all this crazy stuff in highschool, but the people are long forgotten.

  180. “Sit next to the class clown and watch him”
    I love people watching too, and I have learned so much from paying attention to everyone from the idiots I went to high school with to the adulterers at the next table over at Applebees to the mullet and acid-washed jeans rockin’ couple who propositioned me at Walmart. My “boring” suburban existence is chock full of crazy shit you can’t make up.

  181. “One stipulation to my borrowing your clothes is that you have to have worn the item at least once before I borrow it.I’m not a monster”

    That whole section about borrowing clothes was hilarious and totally brought me back to my freshman year of college when I was living in a suite with 8 other girls. We never went so far as to outline rules for clothes borrowing, but if we did, they would have been exactly the same as Mindy’s list (right down to the shit-talking for no more than one calendar year). Every (non-monster) girl in the world probably understands and abides by these rules.

  182. The part of the excerpt that I really enjoyed was when Mindy wrote, “It is easy to freak out as a sensitive teenager. I always felt I was missing out because of the way the high school experience was dramatized in television and song.” This really spoke to me because I’m going through that same thing right now. I watch these shows and movies where the kids are all having fun and I always felt like such an outsider. Even today, I see many of the kids I went to school with posting about whatever fun thing they did while I would rather hang around at home or even by myself. I like to think that while everyone is out there with not a care in the world, my consistent hard work will eventually pay off.

  183. “The world created in ‘Jack and Diane’ is maybe okay-charming because, like, all right, that kid Jack is going to get shipped off to Vietnam and there was going to be a whole part two of the story when he returned as some traumatized, disillusioned vet.” I too applied the theory in high school–as I think every “observant wallflower” should–of concocting revenge fantasies for every tiny injustice. Oh, he doesn’t like me back? He’ll probably fall in love with me when we run into each other at the grocery store in ten years when I’m hotter then, and I’ll forget his name, and then he’ll die cold and alone. Oh, the teacher doesn’t appreciate my careful analysis of fictionalization in the Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin? Welcome to my international conference panel on truthiness in ten years, Mrs. Denim Skirt. Oh, cheerleader makes fun of my muffin tops in the locker room? I wonder if she saw my latest belly dance performance in which I outshined the popstars alongside me in the video that would have been on TRL’s number one spot if they hadn’t canceled TRL the year after I graduated. Read that C.V. and weep, high-school contemporaries.

  184. My favorite part was the best friends portion. I just spent last weekend with my best friends and OF COURSE we slept in the same bed in our hotel suite. Some women my (ahem) age think this is really weird, but it’s not. It’s awesome! And we totally give shit to the person that fell asleep first. And the phrase “I’m not crazy about that look” is uttered frequently during shopping trips and while we are getting ready to go out. Awesome Job Mindy! Can’t wait to read the whole book!

  185. My favorite part is the re-imagined “Jack & Diane.” I think Nguyen and Ari would be fun to hang out with, and probably good study buddies! Thanks for the preview!

  186. The best friends rights and responsibilities was my favorite part. Mindy perfectly describes how my best friend and I are together, and how every best friend should act. Also, “No two people are better than us. We fucking rock”. HECK YES. Mindy, you are amazing.

  187. My favorite part of the excerpt was the “I will try to like your boyfriend.” Five times is sufficient time to make a judgement.

  188. I liked this entire except because it reminds me of watching a popular animated show…(funny story, cut to hilarious pop culture reference, more funny story, cut to other hilarious pop culture reference). I like to imagine there would be some bending of the rules on Lasik if her friend has a thin cornea. I can’t wait to read it!

  189. It’s all so perfect and I absolutely agree about the high school bit. The best friend manifesto is spot on. “We fucking rock. No one can beat us.” Is something that I have more or less said over the years to my besties, if not quite as coolly as Mindy. (I’m 41. Can I say besties?)

  190. I love how you mention how important it is to spend time with your family! I’m currently in College, and I’m learning that as you get older and you need more and more advise from your family, it’s hard to find time to all come together.

  191. I enjoyed the excerpt, and could relate to Mindy’s humorous comparison of her high school experience as compared to that of Jack and Diane’s. What town even has a Tasty Freeze anymore? I wonder if Michael Scott would relate more with Mindy or Mellencamp’s world?

  192. Well, I could go on and on about both sections, which were equally witty and insightful. But I think I have to focus here on Mindy’s songwriting talents, which to date (Subtle Sexuality notwithstanding) have obviously been woefully underused. It’s clear that this is the direction for Mindy to go in. How about a musical sitcom? I smell Emmys!

  193. This whole excerpt is excellent and makes me want the rest of the book. The section about best friends and roommates was my favorite. Hilarious and wise. I’m showing this to my roommate later.

  194. I liked that she was encouraging to young girls to stay in school and study hard and there time will come. So many girls today get obsessed with becoming the next internet sensation, movie star, or singer and that just isn’t realistic. Girls need to hear more that they should learn as much as they can and pursue what they love.
    I also liked that she didn’t condone an immoral lifestyle in high school. Again, teens get so many messages from the media about how everyone is having sex or doing drugs. But that simply isn’t true. And I liked how she emphasized that. Good girls can get ahead in life.

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