(SCENE: Phyllis’ father, Albert, is riding slowly up the stairs on an electric stair lift, assisted by one of the bridesmaids.)
MICHAEL: (with a look of disgust) Gimme a break.
(SCENE: Phyllis and Bob leaving the reception. Everyone is cheering. Michael is talking to the camera.)
MICHAEL: You steel yourself for moments like this, but you’re never fully prepared. (cut to Bob and Phyllis getting into a white Vance Refrigeration van decorated with balloons and streamers) Bob Vance isn’t perfect, but he loves Phyllis. That’s really all that matters. (turns his back to the camera) Isn’t that right, Albert? (no response from Albert, in his wheelchair, who is watching Phyllis and Bob leave. Michael yells louder) ISN’T THAT RIGHT? (Michael turns back to face the camera) He can hear me. (turns his back to the camera again and throws a handful of rice right at Albert)
(SCENE: The stair lift. Michael is on it, looking sad. He rides slowly down, then starts playing with the switch, going up, down, up, down, up, down, still looking sad.)
(SCENE: The church, the room where Phyllis is getting ready for the ceremony.)
BOB: (thru door) Phyllis? How you doing in there, honey?
MICHAEL: (opens door) Bob! What are you doing here? You don’t want to see her before the wedding. It’s bad luck.
BOB: That’s why I didn’t open the door. But now that you did, I’ve seen her. Nice job, Scott.
(MICHAEL laughs nervously.)
BOB: You look beautiful, honey.
MICHAEL: Doesn’t she?
PHYLLIS: (looks down, upset) Thanks.
BOB: (waves hand in front of face): Jesus, Scott.
MICHAEL: (gestures toward Phyllis) Nerves. It’s trapped under her dress.
BOB: Are you okay, honey?
PHYLLIS: Michael did it.
MICHAEL: I, all right, I’ll take the heat. It’s your wedding day.
BOB: I, um . . . (leaves)
MICHAEL: (to PHYLLIS) It wasn’t me. All right. (leaves, looks at camera) She who denied it supplied it.
(SCENE: The reception. Michael talking to one of the bridesmaids.)
MICHAEL: I need some more jokes for my speech. Do you have any dirt on Phyllis?
BRIDESMAID: Um, she hates her boss.
MICHAEL: Angela’s not her boss.
(SCENE: The reception. Phyllis is talking to her father, seated at one of the dinner tables.)
MICHAEL: Phyllis! Phyllis! How can I help? I am at your service.
PHYLLIS: (through gritted teeth) Just find your seat. We’re trying to get everyone seated so that we can do the toast.
MICHAEL: Okay. All right. (yelling, heading toward another table) Everybody, take your seats! Take your damn seats! Please! (Michael sits down at a table next to Toby.)
TOBY: Sorry, my date’s sitting there.
MICHAEL: Your date? Really? How much did that cost you?
TOBY: She’s not a prostitute. She’s a pediatric nurse.
MICHAEL: (getting up) Well, good. Because your feet need a lot of help.
(SCENE: Toby talking to the camera.)
TOBY: I met her at the gym. What is so hard to believe?
I agree–I think scene 3 should have stayed in. It says so much more about his character than his erratic “I now present Mr. & Mrs. Bob Vance” during the ceremony.
“He can hear me.” Priceless.
Deleted scene 3: What great vignettes.
I like these Michael scenes better than some of the others because they’re a bit understated. There’s a lot more poignancy that way.
What saves Michael from being a mere slapstick is the moments of introspection he’s capable of from time to time, like when he’s on the lift looking lonely.
More Michael could have been less Michael. Had they used the chair lift scene as a cut-away during the wedding, there might have been some time to briefly dwell upon the faces of Phyllis’ guests. I’d like to have seen a shade of cynical “yeah, right” on Toby’s face when the pastor said the “’til death do you part” line, fidgetting from Ryan, glee on Kelly’s face, or maybe a brief look at Roy, Dwight, or a little more face time for Phyllis, for Pete’s sake.
Wow! The chair lift and Oscar’s talking head should really have been in. I mean… we really could have done without one or two of the other cringeworthy Michael moments (like the cake).
Oh, I wish they had put the chair lift in the episode instead of Michael disrupting the wedding. I like the idea of him retreating down the aisle and going to play in the lift for the duration of the service.
Pediatric, podiatric - what’s the difference? Babies have feet, too.
60 | Jan Thu. Feb. 15, 2007 at 3:32pmShe who denied it, supplied it.
Freaking brilliant.
59 | Flonkerton Rules Thu. Feb. 15, 2007 at 10:26amaww.. yay for pediatric nurses! (whose jobs have nothing to do with feet)
58 | Roni Thu. Feb. 15, 2007 at 9:45amPoor Toby. Maybe he did meet her at the “Gym”.
57 | Dean Wed. Feb. 14, 2007 at 8:15pmAnd here’s deleted scene 3:
(SCENE: Phyllis’ father, Albert, is riding slowly up the stairs on an electric stair lift, assisted by one of the bridesmaids.)
MICHAEL: (with a look of disgust) Gimme a break.
(SCENE: Phyllis and Bob leaving the reception. Everyone is cheering. Michael is talking to the camera.)
MICHAEL: You steel yourself for moments like this, but you’re never fully prepared. (cut to Bob and Phyllis getting into a white Vance Refrigeration van decorated with balloons and streamers) Bob Vance isn’t perfect, but he loves Phyllis. That’s really all that matters. (turns his back to the camera) Isn’t that right, Albert? (no response from Albert, in his wheelchair, who is watching Phyllis and Bob leave. Michael yells louder) ISN’T THAT RIGHT? (Michael turns back to face the camera) He can hear me. (turns his back to the camera again and throws a handful of rice right at Albert)
(SCENE: The stair lift. Michael is on it, looking sad. He rides slowly down, then starts playing with the switch, going up, down, up, down, up, down, still looking sad.)
56 | ItsAPalindrome Wed. Feb. 14, 2007 at 8:11pmHere’s a transcript of deleted scene #4:
(SCENE: The church, the room where Phyllis is getting ready for the ceremony.)
BOB: (thru door) Phyllis? How you doing in there, honey?
MICHAEL: (opens door) Bob! What are you doing here? You don’t want to see her before the wedding. It’s bad luck.
BOB: That’s why I didn’t open the door. But now that you did, I’ve seen her. Nice job, Scott.
(MICHAEL laughs nervously.)
BOB: You look beautiful, honey.
MICHAEL: Doesn’t she?
PHYLLIS: (looks down, upset) Thanks.
BOB: (waves hand in front of face): Jesus, Scott.
MICHAEL: (gestures toward Phyllis) Nerves. It’s trapped under her dress.
BOB: Are you okay, honey?
PHYLLIS: Michael did it.
MICHAEL: I, all right, I’ll take the heat. It’s your wedding day.
BOB: I, um . . . (leaves)
MICHAEL: (to PHYLLIS) It wasn’t me. All right. (leaves, looks at camera) She who denied it supplied it.
(SCENE: The reception. Michael talking to one of the bridesmaids.)
MICHAEL: I need some more jokes for my speech. Do you have any dirt on Phyllis?
BRIDESMAID: Um, she hates her boss.
MICHAEL: Angela’s not her boss.
(SCENE: The reception. Phyllis is talking to her father, seated at one of the dinner tables.)
MICHAEL: Phyllis! Phyllis! How can I help? I am at your service.
PHYLLIS: (through gritted teeth) Just find your seat. We’re trying to get everyone seated so that we can do the toast.
MICHAEL: Okay. All right. (yelling, heading toward another table) Everybody, take your seats! Take your damn seats! Please! (Michael sits down at a table next to Toby.)
TOBY: Sorry, my date’s sitting there.
MICHAEL: Your date? Really? How much did that cost you?
TOBY: She’s not a prostitute. She’s a pediatric nurse.
MICHAEL: (getting up) Well, good. Because your feet need a lot of help.
(SCENE: Toby talking to the camera.)
TOBY: I met her at the gym. What is so hard to believe?
(END)
55 | ItsAPalindrome Wed. Feb. 14, 2007 at 7:56pmMore Michael!!! Who wrote this episode?
54 | AAL Wed. Feb. 14, 2007 at 7:48pmIn other news, Toby? Still awesome.
There was more of the stupid fart scene?
Aww…poor Toby.
53 | Elisabeth Wed. Feb. 14, 2007 at 7:32pma new deleted scene is up!
52 | MelB Wed. Feb. 14, 2007 at 6:12pmBahh can’t view the deleted scenes in Australia any more. Oh well I guess I will have more to watch when I get the DVD’s.
51 | Tom Tue. Feb. 13, 2007 at 3:27pmFULLY AGREE.
We used to be able to see them - this is bullhooey!
It’s hard enough getting wireless connection in my igloo — :S
50 | Ryan from Canada Tue. Feb. 13, 2007 at 3:04pmI don’t think anyone mentioned this but, at the end when everyone is throwing rice Michael throws a handful at Phylis’s dads head! Hilarious stuff
49 | Easy Rider Tue. Feb. 13, 2007 at 6:44amI agree–I think scene 3 should have stayed in. It says so much more about his character than his erratic “I now present Mr. & Mrs. Bob Vance” during the ceremony.
48 | CH Tue. Feb. 13, 2007 at 5:29am“He can hear me.” Priceless.
Deleted scene 3: What great vignettes.
47 | rachel (2) Tue. Feb. 13, 2007 at 2:25amI like these Michael scenes better than some of the others because they’re a bit understated. There’s a lot more poignancy that way.
What saves Michael from being a mere slapstick is the moments of introspection he’s capable of from time to time, like when he’s on the lift looking lonely.
More Michael could have been less Michael. Had they used the chair lift scene as a cut-away during the wedding, there might have been some time to briefly dwell upon the faces of Phyllis’ guests. I’d like to have seen a shade of cynical “yeah, right” on Toby’s face when the pastor said the “’til death do you part” line, fidgetting from Ryan, glee on Kelly’s face, or maybe a brief look at Roy, Dwight, or a little more face time for Phyllis, for Pete’s sake.
46 | Jan Mon. Feb. 12, 2007 at 9:15pmMore Michael? Sigh.
45 | AAL Mon. Feb. 12, 2007 at 9:06pmWow! The chair lift and Oscar’s talking head should really have been in. I mean… we really could have done without one or two of the other cringeworthy Michael moments (like the cake).
44 | wallflower Mon. Feb. 12, 2007 at 9:05pmOh, I wish they had put the chair lift in the episode instead of Michael disrupting the wedding. I like the idea of him retreating down the aisle and going to play in the lift for the duration of the service.
43 | Jan Mon. Feb. 12, 2007 at 7:50pmOmg I wish they would have kept the last part in. Michael on the stair lift thingy is hilarious.
42 | Katrina Mon. Feb. 12, 2007 at 7:49pm3rd deleted scene is up
41 | cristin Mon. Feb. 12, 2007 at 5:47pm