‘Real Life Michael Scott’ Contest

The OfficeThe Office Season 4 DVD is coming September 2nd, starring Steve Carell as Michael Scott, the clueless boss who manages to create unending comical drama despite his best intentions.

To celebrate the DVD release, Universal Studios Home Entertainment wants to know: have you ever worked for a Michael Scott?

Tell your story about an inappropriate boss, and you may win The Office Season 4 DVD. Win it before you can buy it!


Rules

  • Submit your ‘Real Life Michael Scott’ story by adding a comment to this post.
  • 200 word limit.
  • Good grammar and spelling count. Proofread and spellcheck before you post!
  • One entry per person. If you post multiple entries, only the first one will count.
  • Provide a valid email address.
  • Open to entrants outside the U.S.

Prize

  • I’ll enter my ten favorite stories in a poll. Y’all will vote for your favorite story out of the ten.
  • The top vote-getter wins The Office Season 4 DVD, courtesy of Universal Studios Home Entertainment!

Important dates

  • Wed. Aug. 13, 11pm PT: Deadline to submit entries.
  • Fri, Aug. 15: Poll of my 10 favorite entries open for voting.
  • Tue, Aug. 19: Voting ends.
  • Wed, Aug. 20: Winner announced.

All decisions final; rules and dates subject to change without notice. Graphic credit: Matt Collins

75 comments

  1. The last person I worked for definitely reminded me of Michael Scott for her disillusionment in thinking that she was everyone’s best friend and making people really uncomfortable. She would often engage us in lengthy conversations about her personal life, which was not only awkward but way too informative. She was very touchy-feely and always offering to hang out after work or on the weekends. She’d often give us hugs and didn’t understand personal boundaries. The most inappropriate behavior happened when the owner of the company gave a few us tickets to a basketball game. She got really drunk fairly quickly and then began telling my co-workers’ date that she has really missed the touch of a man and needed it badly. I don’t believe she remembers this conversation as she had no reaction the Monday after at work.

  2. It wasn’t so much that my boss for my internship last summer was awkward or incredibly open about his personal life, it was that he didn’t treat us like college-aged unpaid employees. Half the time, we were his personal slaves, booking his vacation to California for him and his son. The other half of the time, we were his frat buddies(keep in mind, he’s 50). He took us all to his house one night for a bbq, and force fed me tequila. The last night we worked for the summer, he turned the office into a giant beer pong tournament. Oh, and did I mention that he was such a compulsive self-tanner that he literally was a sickly dark shade of orange. All and all, exactly what you would expect from a nationally recognized political consultant.

  3. The following exchange happened between my last boss (we’ll call her “Michael Scott” and our only black employee. We’ll call him “Stanley”). It took place the day after Martin Luther King Day, a day our company allowed us to take as a holiday:

    “Michael Scott”: So, “Stanley”, did you celebrate Martin Luther King Day with your family?
    “Stanley”: No…
    “Michael Scott” (shocked): What? Isn’t that your people’s major holiday? I thought you’d have hot dogs and a flour bag race or something. We went to the parade.
    “Stanely”: That’s nice.
    “Michael Scott”: There were a lot of you there.

  4. Two summers ago I worked as a maintenance man at the local golf course, mowing greens, tees, raking sand traps, etc. The groundskeeper I reported to, whose name was Harry, was a lonely man in his late fifties. This type of dead end job didn’t help his psychiatric balance, to say the least. I was one minute late (5:31 AM) during my second week, and he stormed out to parking lot proclaiming, “Well, it’s about time. The sun’s up, and I’ve had lunch already!” He laughed at his joke, while the other workers exchanged awkward glances, pondering: 1) was it a joke? And 2) why was it funny? I also remember asking him how his vacation was and he barked back, “None of your f***ing bussiness, go mow green seven!” To top it off, his boss’ name, who worked in the superintendent’s office, was Dick Purple. So Harry, never let poor Dick live it down.

  5. Oh yeah. I was apart of an organization whose director had soooo many of the same issues as Michael Scott it’s just plain scary! For starters, he was so lonely, he had to be ‘babysat’ by someone all the time. Really pathetic. Completely clueless about boundaries, personal or otherwise (awkward) and what a blabbermouth! Nothing was kept confidential!! To say nothing of the ‘its all about me’ attitude! Sometimes when I watch the Office and all Michael’s antics, I want to look away but its just like watching a train wreck. Nobody can look away. On the otherhand it makes me know that I’m not wrong about the dysfunctional behavior. And thank God, I’m not alone!

  6. I just started a job as a Marketing Director for a Dental Spa. Or so I thought. My first day, my 40-year-old boss shows up in gym clothes, having ridden his bike to work, and asks, “Hey dude, where are your scrubs?” An hour later, I was helping him with a root canal. His justification is that I need to know dentistry in order to market it. Other than me, he’s surrounded himself with attractive 20-something brunettes that he constantly tries to impress with stories about his kids, his “hot” wife, and his work-out regimen. In addition to his Michael resemblance, we also have a ridiculously loyal, bespectacled, militaristic employee (Dwight), and a cute, sweet, young employee who puts up with his stupidity and sexual jokes patiently (Pam).

    His best Michael Moments:

    As I was eating lunch in the breakroom/closet, he came in and said “Oops. Thank God you weren’t NAKED!” and snorted like a twelve-year-old.

    As the hygienist was about to leave, she asked him whether she should do another patient first. He said, “when did you start DOING patients?!”

    Came into the lobby and asked the receptionist “Which way to the gym?”, including the classic bicep-bouncing point.

  7. I’ll call the Michael Scott of my office “Mark”. His office is directly behind my cubicle and his door is never shut. He often uses speakerphone so I can always hear his conversations. Here are a few of his phone interactions that I’ve overheard.

    Mark calls his friend at another business:
    Friend: “Hey Mark!”
    Mark: “HOMOPHOBE!”

    Mark answering a phone call: “I can’t help you with your sexual problems. (Speaking in a fake Chinese accent) You dial wrong numba..no massage for you today!”

    Mark ending a conversation: “Okey dokey smokey.”
    Woman on speakerphone: (Laughs awkwardly)
    (They hang up.)
    Salesman from next office: “She liked that one, Mark!”
    Mark: “Everyone likes that one. It’s happy!”

    Woman on phone: “What can I do for you?”
    Mark: “Is sex on the table?”
    Woman: (Silence)
    Mark: (After telling the story to a co-worker later) “Geez, lighten up lady”

  8. This isn’t a normal boss-employee story, but my 9th grade World Cultures teacher is Michael Scott. To teach us about Indian culture, she called an American company’s customer service department, put it on speaker-phone, and interrogated an Indian representative about life and culture in India. She also showed us “Bend it Like Beckham” to teach us more about India. On being politically correct: “My parents used to tell jokes about an Irish guy, an Italian guy, and a Polish guy [using their ethnic slurs] and that the joke was hilarious and nobody ever got offended. Also, when she was being observed by our principal she opened up her notes to find only half a page of hastily written notes. Needless to say, there were no ethnic jokes that day.

  9. This man’s name is Michael too. He’s my dad and boss- he own’s a business. He has has employee’s named Toby Daryll Kelly and Kevin(i think a Jim too). He think’s he is very funny and everytime he says something funny he will make sure everyone is looking at him and if there not he will repeat himself. He always plans outings and games for the office just so no one has to do work. He also makes racial comments and once yelled in a resturant: IS HE THAT BLACK DUDE! He once dressed up with costumes and wigs and put a show on for a 4th of july party. When he see’s someone whispering he say’s “Tell me a secret”?. And, has a document on his computer titled “Inspirational quotes”.

  10. Back when I was in high school I worked at a framing store and my boss, Jen, was a 30-something woman who dressed, talked, and acted like she was in her 20’s, if not her teens. She was very overly open about her personal life with the rest of the staff, especially in the dating department. There were days where she would put the store phone on speaker so that she could make us listen to the voice messages that she had received from the dating chat line that she used frequently. Although, the worst thing was when our co-worker Mikey broke up with his girlfriend and got kicked out of his house and Jen offered to let him live with her. He told us that after only a few days she became very possessive of him and got mad when he would go out with his friends. One night when they were at home alone together, she got drunk and she tried to make out with him and everyone found out about it the next day at work. Needless to say he moved out rather quickly.

  11. I play softball and took a ball to the eye so I had to go to work with a black eye. I was joking with a male co-worker about different stories I could tell people about my black eye. When my boss walked up I told him jokingly that the co-worker hit me because I didn’t listen when he wanted to do his work. My boss said, “That is how you teach a woman to listen.” Then he tried to get a high five from my co-worker then ended up just going back into his office.

  12. Well this reminds me of a party we did to celebrate the holidays. So she told us to get a gift for secret santa that was at least under $30. So we all did that, and when it came to the holiday party it turns out she gave this one person a GPS which pretty much ruined our party. So then to make the party better she decided to throw all of the presents inside a bag and a person will randomly select a present, which made the party even worse. After we finished that she picked out some country music CD. Of course she over reacted.

  13. As a teenager, I worked at a water park one summer. I had one interesting coworker named Joe. He was about 25 and still worked alongside teenagers. I think he had been there for 9 or 10 years. These two guys who also worked there decided to mess with him one day. They said that they had gone kayaking on the Nile the night before. His response was, “No way guys… the Nile is like three hours from here, you wouldn’t have had time to go after work yesterday.”

    He also had a “Women’s Appreciation” type moment when another girl and I started asking all the boys about their love lives. This shocked him. He couldn’t imagine that girls would engage in “guy talk.” Then, the other guys started poking fun at us to see what he would do. In true Michael fashion, he tried to stick up for me while unknowingly offending me at the same time. He said, “Don’t give Michele a hard time. She’s really pretty… even if she is fatter than Sue.” Thanks, Joe.

  14. I worked at a bank with a manager named Sally who was very insecure and intellectually inept at her job. This combination made for lots of eye-rolling behind her back — sound familiar? The bank held a bake sale for charity, and Sally brought iced sugar cookies that were obviously store-bought (no one can make homemade icing so pink that practically glows in the dark). Sally “disgused” her cookies by placing them on her own little paper plates and told us she’d used a recipe passed down from a deceased member of our community. The rest of us had slaved over making actual homemade items the night before, and we felt that Sally’s cookies smacked at the integrity of our bake sale. Later that day, Sally left to go to a meeting at another branch of our bank, which was also having a bake sale. In her absence, the rest of us could not stop complaining about Sally’s cookies — especially when another employee discovered a serial number imprinted on the bottom of Sally’s “homemade” cookies. When Sally returned, she had the audacity to complain that at the bake sale at the other bank branch, “Someone had the nerve to bring store-bought cookies!” As trite as this incident might sound, this was the type of nonsense that I routinely had to put up with, and the following mantra kept playing in my head the few months I worked at that bank: “There are boxes of rocks smarter than my boss.”

  15. I was in my office, minding my own business (I listen to an iPod all day to discourage interaction), when he appeared and said, “Hey, I want you to come look at something … and tell me if you think it’s funny.”

    He’d been working on a project for someone who kept “policing” his efforts, so when he was done, he took her picture and went into Photoshop, cut her head out and placed it on the body of a police officer – who was arresting a squirrel. I believe it said something about the “em dash police,” but I can’t remember the significance of the squirrel as I was beyond unsure of how to respond.

    Him (chuckling): So, do you think it’s funny?

    Silence. He looks at me, noting my complete lack of facial expression.

    Him: It’s sort of an inside joke.

    Me: Oh, well, I guess if you get the joke…

    Then there’s the day I was sitting in his office for a meeting and he says, “So, tell me the story of Pride and Prejudice…”

    Response from my friends after emails detailing these stores, “He IS Michael Scott – and you’re Pam!”

  16. One of my superiors [we’ll call her “Michaela”], is Michael-Scott-esque in that, try as she might, she simply can’t speak or act professionally without it sounding incredibly awkward and, uh, super wrong.

    We’re in childcare, so she communicates with families every day in person, and via phone and email. I cringe when she says or writes something stupid, because, you know, WE’RE TEACHING CHILDREN. We should be smarter than the babies. Technically. Once she told a parent that her baby “hasn’t drunked her bottle,” and I died a little.

    While giving a presentation to the whole company, she said, “Now, I’ll tell you pacifically what you should be doing.” Thanks, Michaela! Only the Pacifics, please. Not…uh, the Atlantics? She also uses the word “supposably”, and she hangs up signs with unnecessary quotation marks and apostrophes, which make my head explode, like:

    “PLEASE” keep back door’s close.

    Keep them close? Should the door[‘]s not be alone? Also, PUNCTUATION MARKS DON’T MEAN WHAT YOU THINK THEY MEAN.

    One of my favorites, though, is when she was asked to make a label for the phone with the numbers for Poison Control and Security. Hers said “Prison Control” and “Securdy”.

    Her stupidity is incalcucable.

  17. I work at a certain fast food restaurant, and our previous store manager was the female version of Michael Scott. She seemed to be aware that none of the employees liked her because she would always try to make jokes to win us over. Her jokes were horrible. They either consisted of quoting TV shows or making some horrible pun. We were switching the grill for breakfast, and we cook the eggs for breakfast on the same side that we cook the grilled chicken. She reminded me to wipe the grill before grilling chicken because, in her words, “You can’t mix the babies with the mamas!” Whenever we would need her to order more supplies, she would tell us that, “she would get to it when she has time.” She also sang (horribly) to the radio.

    She was actually great as a regular manager, or so I’ve heard, but no one above her even liked her. Rumor had it that the only reason she was our store manager was that the franchise owner didn’t want her messing up the “his” store. I have heard that ever since she left our store, she was demoted to a regular manager at another store.

  18. I worked for a small PR firm owned by an eccentric woman in her 50s (Mom) and her 30-something daughter. During the time I worked there, the daughter was in the midst of a divorce. On the night of her first post-divorce date, Mom sent me out to pick up a package for her…at a local lingerie shop. This was my first job out of school (I was 22), and I guess she assumed it was no big deal. That isn’t the bad part. The bad part is that she decided to insist that her daughter try on the garb (bustier and panties) in the office and model it for “the young gals” — to see if she looked ok.

    The image is forever burned on my retinas.

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