‘Real Life Michael Scott’ Contest

The OfficeThe Office Season 4 DVD is coming September 2nd, starring Steve Carell as Michael Scott, the clueless boss who manages to create unending comical drama despite his best intentions.

To celebrate the DVD release, Universal Studios Home Entertainment wants to know: have you ever worked for a Michael Scott?

Tell your story about an inappropriate boss, and you may win The Office Season 4 DVD. Win it before you can buy it!


Rules

  • Submit your ‘Real Life Michael Scott’ story by adding a comment to this post.
  • 200 word limit.
  • Good grammar and spelling count. Proofread and spellcheck before you post!
  • One entry per person. If you post multiple entries, only the first one will count.
  • Provide a valid email address.
  • Open to entrants outside the U.S.

Prize

  • I’ll enter my ten favorite stories in a poll. Y’all will vote for your favorite story out of the ten.
  • The top vote-getter wins The Office Season 4 DVD, courtesy of Universal Studios Home Entertainment!

Important dates

  • Wed. Aug. 13, 11pm PT: Deadline to submit entries.
  • Fri, Aug. 15: Poll of my 10 favorite entries open for voting.
  • Tue, Aug. 19: Voting ends.
  • Wed, Aug. 20: Winner announced.

All decisions final; rules and dates subject to change without notice. Graphic credit: Matt Collins

75 comments

  1. The last person I worked for definitely reminded me of Michael Scott for her disillusionment in thinking that she was everyone’s best friend and making people really uncomfortable. She would often engage us in lengthy conversations about her personal life, which was not only awkward but way too informative. She was very touchy-feely and always offering to hang out after work or on the weekends. She’d often give us hugs and didn’t understand personal boundaries. The most inappropriate behavior happened when the owner of the company gave a few us tickets to a basketball game. She got really drunk fairly quickly and then began telling my co-workers’ date that she has really missed the touch of a man and needed it badly. I don’t believe she remembers this conversation as she had no reaction the Monday after at work.

  2. It wasn’t so much that my boss for my internship last summer was awkward or incredibly open about his personal life, it was that he didn’t treat us like college-aged unpaid employees. Half the time, we were his personal slaves, booking his vacation to California for him and his son. The other half of the time, we were his frat buddies(keep in mind, he’s 50). He took us all to his house one night for a bbq, and force fed me tequila. The last night we worked for the summer, he turned the office into a giant beer pong tournament. Oh, and did I mention that he was such a compulsive self-tanner that he literally was a sickly dark shade of orange. All and all, exactly what you would expect from a nationally recognized political consultant.

  3. The following exchange happened between my last boss (we’ll call her “Michael Scott” and our only black employee. We’ll call him “Stanley”). It took place the day after Martin Luther King Day, a day our company allowed us to take as a holiday:

    “Michael Scott”: So, “Stanley”, did you celebrate Martin Luther King Day with your family?
    “Stanley”: No…
    “Michael Scott” (shocked): What? Isn’t that your people’s major holiday? I thought you’d have hot dogs and a flour bag race or something. We went to the parade.
    “Stanely”: That’s nice.
    “Michael Scott”: There were a lot of you there.

  4. Two summers ago I worked as a maintenance man at the local golf course, mowing greens, tees, raking sand traps, etc. The groundskeeper I reported to, whose name was Harry, was a lonely man in his late fifties. This type of dead end job didn’t help his psychiatric balance, to say the least. I was one minute late (5:31 AM) during my second week, and he stormed out to parking lot proclaiming, “Well, it’s about time. The sun’s up, and I’ve had lunch already!” He laughed at his joke, while the other workers exchanged awkward glances, pondering: 1) was it a joke? And 2) why was it funny? I also remember asking him how his vacation was and he barked back, “None of your f***ing bussiness, go mow green seven!” To top it off, his boss’ name, who worked in the superintendent’s office, was Dick Purple. So Harry, never let poor Dick live it down.

  5. Oh yeah. I was apart of an organization whose director had soooo many of the same issues as Michael Scott it’s just plain scary! For starters, he was so lonely, he had to be ‘babysat’ by someone all the time. Really pathetic. Completely clueless about boundaries, personal or otherwise (awkward) and what a blabbermouth! Nothing was kept confidential!! To say nothing of the ‘its all about me’ attitude! Sometimes when I watch the Office and all Michael’s antics, I want to look away but its just like watching a train wreck. Nobody can look away. On the otherhand it makes me know that I’m not wrong about the dysfunctional behavior. And thank God, I’m not alone!

  6. I just started a job as a Marketing Director for a Dental Spa. Or so I thought. My first day, my 40-year-old boss shows up in gym clothes, having ridden his bike to work, and asks, “Hey dude, where are your scrubs?” An hour later, I was helping him with a root canal. His justification is that I need to know dentistry in order to market it. Other than me, he’s surrounded himself with attractive 20-something brunettes that he constantly tries to impress with stories about his kids, his “hot” wife, and his work-out regimen. In addition to his Michael resemblance, we also have a ridiculously loyal, bespectacled, militaristic employee (Dwight), and a cute, sweet, young employee who puts up with his stupidity and sexual jokes patiently (Pam).

    His best Michael Moments:

    As I was eating lunch in the breakroom/closet, he came in and said “Oops. Thank God you weren’t NAKED!” and snorted like a twelve-year-old.

    As the hygienist was about to leave, she asked him whether she should do another patient first. He said, “when did you start DOING patients?!”

    Came into the lobby and asked the receptionist “Which way to the gym?”, including the classic bicep-bouncing point.

  7. I’ll call the Michael Scott of my office “Mark”. His office is directly behind my cubicle and his door is never shut. He often uses speakerphone so I can always hear his conversations. Here are a few of his phone interactions that I’ve overheard.

    Mark calls his friend at another business:
    Friend: “Hey Mark!”
    Mark: “HOMOPHOBE!”

    Mark answering a phone call: “I can’t help you with your sexual problems. (Speaking in a fake Chinese accent) You dial wrong numba..no massage for you today!”

    Mark ending a conversation: “Okey dokey smokey.”
    Woman on speakerphone: (Laughs awkwardly)
    (They hang up.)
    Salesman from next office: “She liked that one, Mark!”
    Mark: “Everyone likes that one. It’s happy!”

    Woman on phone: “What can I do for you?”
    Mark: “Is sex on the table?”
    Woman: (Silence)
    Mark: (After telling the story to a co-worker later) “Geez, lighten up lady”

  8. This isn’t a normal boss-employee story, but my 9th grade World Cultures teacher is Michael Scott. To teach us about Indian culture, she called an American company’s customer service department, put it on speaker-phone, and interrogated an Indian representative about life and culture in India. She also showed us “Bend it Like Beckham” to teach us more about India. On being politically correct: “My parents used to tell jokes about an Irish guy, an Italian guy, and a Polish guy [using their ethnic slurs] and that the joke was hilarious and nobody ever got offended. Also, when she was being observed by our principal she opened up her notes to find only half a page of hastily written notes. Needless to say, there were no ethnic jokes that day.

  9. This man’s name is Michael too. He’s my dad and boss- he own’s a business. He has has employee’s named Toby Daryll Kelly and Kevin(i think a Jim too). He think’s he is very funny and everytime he says something funny he will make sure everyone is looking at him and if there not he will repeat himself. He always plans outings and games for the office just so no one has to do work. He also makes racial comments and once yelled in a resturant: IS HE THAT BLACK DUDE! He once dressed up with costumes and wigs and put a show on for a 4th of july party. When he see’s someone whispering he say’s “Tell me a secret”?. And, has a document on his computer titled “Inspirational quotes”.

  10. Back when I was in high school I worked at a framing store and my boss, Jen, was a 30-something woman who dressed, talked, and acted like she was in her 20’s, if not her teens. She was very overly open about her personal life with the rest of the staff, especially in the dating department. There were days where she would put the store phone on speaker so that she could make us listen to the voice messages that she had received from the dating chat line that she used frequently. Although, the worst thing was when our co-worker Mikey broke up with his girlfriend and got kicked out of his house and Jen offered to let him live with her. He told us that after only a few days she became very possessive of him and got mad when he would go out with his friends. One night when they were at home alone together, she got drunk and she tried to make out with him and everyone found out about it the next day at work. Needless to say he moved out rather quickly.

  11. I play softball and took a ball to the eye so I had to go to work with a black eye. I was joking with a male co-worker about different stories I could tell people about my black eye. When my boss walked up I told him jokingly that the co-worker hit me because I didn’t listen when he wanted to do his work. My boss said, “That is how you teach a woman to listen.” Then he tried to get a high five from my co-worker then ended up just going back into his office.

  12. Well this reminds me of a party we did to celebrate the holidays. So she told us to get a gift for secret santa that was at least under $30. So we all did that, and when it came to the holiday party it turns out she gave this one person a GPS which pretty much ruined our party. So then to make the party better she decided to throw all of the presents inside a bag and a person will randomly select a present, which made the party even worse. After we finished that she picked out some country music CD. Of course she over reacted.

  13. As a teenager, I worked at a water park one summer. I had one interesting coworker named Joe. He was about 25 and still worked alongside teenagers. I think he had been there for 9 or 10 years. These two guys who also worked there decided to mess with him one day. They said that they had gone kayaking on the Nile the night before. His response was, “No way guys… the Nile is like three hours from here, you wouldn’t have had time to go after work yesterday.”

    He also had a “Women’s Appreciation” type moment when another girl and I started asking all the boys about their love lives. This shocked him. He couldn’t imagine that girls would engage in “guy talk.” Then, the other guys started poking fun at us to see what he would do. In true Michael fashion, he tried to stick up for me while unknowingly offending me at the same time. He said, “Don’t give Michele a hard time. She’s really pretty… even if she is fatter than Sue.” Thanks, Joe.

  14. I worked at a bank with a manager named Sally who was very insecure and intellectually inept at her job. This combination made for lots of eye-rolling behind her back — sound familiar? The bank held a bake sale for charity, and Sally brought iced sugar cookies that were obviously store-bought (no one can make homemade icing so pink that practically glows in the dark). Sally “disgused” her cookies by placing them on her own little paper plates and told us she’d used a recipe passed down from a deceased member of our community. The rest of us had slaved over making actual homemade items the night before, and we felt that Sally’s cookies smacked at the integrity of our bake sale. Later that day, Sally left to go to a meeting at another branch of our bank, which was also having a bake sale. In her absence, the rest of us could not stop complaining about Sally’s cookies — especially when another employee discovered a serial number imprinted on the bottom of Sally’s “homemade” cookies. When Sally returned, she had the audacity to complain that at the bake sale at the other bank branch, “Someone had the nerve to bring store-bought cookies!” As trite as this incident might sound, this was the type of nonsense that I routinely had to put up with, and the following mantra kept playing in my head the few months I worked at that bank: “There are boxes of rocks smarter than my boss.”

  15. I was in my office, minding my own business (I listen to an iPod all day to discourage interaction), when he appeared and said, “Hey, I want you to come look at something … and tell me if you think it’s funny.”

    He’d been working on a project for someone who kept “policing” his efforts, so when he was done, he took her picture and went into Photoshop, cut her head out and placed it on the body of a police officer – who was arresting a squirrel. I believe it said something about the “em dash police,” but I can’t remember the significance of the squirrel as I was beyond unsure of how to respond.

    Him (chuckling): So, do you think it’s funny?

    Silence. He looks at me, noting my complete lack of facial expression.

    Him: It’s sort of an inside joke.

    Me: Oh, well, I guess if you get the joke…

    Then there’s the day I was sitting in his office for a meeting and he says, “So, tell me the story of Pride and Prejudice…”

    Response from my friends after emails detailing these stores, “He IS Michael Scott – and you’re Pam!”

  16. One of my superiors [we’ll call her “Michaela”], is Michael-Scott-esque in that, try as she might, she simply can’t speak or act professionally without it sounding incredibly awkward and, uh, super wrong.

    We’re in childcare, so she communicates with families every day in person, and via phone and email. I cringe when she says or writes something stupid, because, you know, WE’RE TEACHING CHILDREN. We should be smarter than the babies. Technically. Once she told a parent that her baby “hasn’t drunked her bottle,” and I died a little.

    While giving a presentation to the whole company, she said, “Now, I’ll tell you pacifically what you should be doing.” Thanks, Michaela! Only the Pacifics, please. Not…uh, the Atlantics? She also uses the word “supposably”, and she hangs up signs with unnecessary quotation marks and apostrophes, which make my head explode, like:

    “PLEASE” keep back door’s close.

    Keep them close? Should the door[‘]s not be alone? Also, PUNCTUATION MARKS DON’T MEAN WHAT YOU THINK THEY MEAN.

    One of my favorites, though, is when she was asked to make a label for the phone with the numbers for Poison Control and Security. Hers said “Prison Control” and “Securdy”.

    Her stupidity is incalcucable.

  17. I work at a certain fast food restaurant, and our previous store manager was the female version of Michael Scott. She seemed to be aware that none of the employees liked her because she would always try to make jokes to win us over. Her jokes were horrible. They either consisted of quoting TV shows or making some horrible pun. We were switching the grill for breakfast, and we cook the eggs for breakfast on the same side that we cook the grilled chicken. She reminded me to wipe the grill before grilling chicken because, in her words, “You can’t mix the babies with the mamas!” Whenever we would need her to order more supplies, she would tell us that, “she would get to it when she has time.” She also sang (horribly) to the radio.

    She was actually great as a regular manager, or so I’ve heard, but no one above her even liked her. Rumor had it that the only reason she was our store manager was that the franchise owner didn’t want her messing up the “his” store. I have heard that ever since she left our store, she was demoted to a regular manager at another store.

  18. I worked for a small PR firm owned by an eccentric woman in her 50s (Mom) and her 30-something daughter. During the time I worked there, the daughter was in the midst of a divorce. On the night of her first post-divorce date, Mom sent me out to pick up a package for her…at a local lingerie shop. This was my first job out of school (I was 22), and I guess she assumed it was no big deal. That isn’t the bad part. The bad part is that she decided to insist that her daughter try on the garb (bustier and panties) in the office and model it for “the young gals” — to see if she looked ok.

    The image is forever burned on my retinas.

  19. My boss posted signs around our staff room, asking for our help. He was scheduled to compete in a cycling race and needed us to keep him accountable with his diet (i.e. Big Macs, candy, etc.). A prize of $50 would be awarded to anyone that caught him eating unhealthy foods.

    A week later, a coworker caught him eating a candy bar and turned him in. She approached him in front of two others. He denied the entire thing and said, “The only way I would eat chocolate is if it was dripping off your naked body.”

    To this day, I cannot eat ice cream with chocolate syrup.

  20. I work at a restaurant and a manager reminded me of Michael. He would call pointless meeting and he would say pointless things, we would all have at least 2 tables have to do a million things for those tables and he would never let us, he just kept rambling. At one point one of the employees got so angry at him they ended up having a huge fight on the line (where the food comes out). My fellow server basically called him an idiot and other choice words and everyone kind of left (like in did I stutter).
    Also, one time he was attempting to get breadsticks and was using the paper we wrap them in so he wouldn’t use his hands. The paper touched the lamps that keeps the food warm and suddenly caught on fire. I was standing about 3 feet from him and could not formulate words in order to warn him that he was about to burn the restaurant down. He finally noticed and was like “OH!” and put it out. Once he walked out I could not stop laughing to the point where I was crying and told everyone, behind his back of course.

  21. I can safely say that the first boss I ever had was a perfect copy of Michael Scott in the form of a crazy middle-aged woman. We were having our weekly staff meetings when she passed around a memo. I was directly to her left at the table, so I was the last to get the paper as it was passed around, but I noticed the looks on my coworker’s faces as they each began reading the paper so I knew something was up. Some of my coworkers looked angry, others were blushing, but none of them looked happy with the exception of my boss who looked positively giddy. Finally I received my copy of the paper and I saw the title–“New Sexual Trends!” Now, that memo might not have been a big deal if we had worked in the sex trade, but we worked for a youth organization, specializing in ages 6-12 so learning new “skills” in that particular arena wasn’t hugely relevant to our work. To make matters worse, we were supposed to have a group of 4th graders in that day to give us a presentation on a service project they had just completed.

    Our boss asked us to go down the list and circle all of the new “trends” that we were aware of and then discuss how they were relevant to childcare. No one on the room would speak, so she turned to me and asked me which ones I had performed, seeing as I was the youngest person in the room and therefore must be familiar with everything on the list. Eventually the meeting came to a grinding halt when our boss decided that we were purposely trying to ruin her “fun” meeting and she let us all go for the day. On my way out the door, she winked and said, “Hey Sarah, make sure you take that list home and try a few things out. Let me know how it works for you!”

    That was just one day. Imagine all the “fun”things we did every other day of the week!

  22. Here’s how my boss was like Dwight Schrute:
    He claimed to have degrees in Sociology, Psychology, and history, but they were from a six week correspondance course. He made his own trail mix. He also used the phrase, that’s what she said after everything. He didn’t believe in evolution not on religious grounds but because he felt Darwin used phoney evidence. He was also kicked out of the Society for Anachronistic Recreation which does all the medieval fairs because he kept pointing out historicalg inaccuracies. He managed a used CD store but his knowledge of music extended only to Doris Day and Perry Como and he was thirty five years old.

  23. This is easy: my office IS Dunder Mifflin. My boyfriend and I are Jim and Pam (we met here), and my boss is definitely Michael Scott. To wit:

    (“Jim” walks into the room.)
    Jim: Hey.
    Me: Hey, you.
    Boss: Hey, you. You, you, you. Kissy kissy, I want to kiss you (makes kissy noises) I wuv you.

    (During a discussion of celebrities we don’t like)
    Jim: Michael Jackson.
    Me: Really? I kind of feel sorry for him. Would you say the same thing about Britney Spears?
    Boss: Oh, don’t bring up Britney Spears. Jim has a big thing for Britney Spears from way before you came into the picture.
    Me: (speechless)
    Boss: I don’t think you want to know what he’d like to do to Britney Spears.

    (To me, on my first day of work)
    Boss: Are you OK? Because you look jaundiced.

    (While working closely on a project)
    Boss: If I have gas, it’s because I had pizza for lunch.

    (To me, during a discussion of summer jobs)
    Boss: You were a lifeguard? I wouldn’t have guessed that. You don’t really fit the whole Baywatch thing.

    All of this in addition to constant pestering and weirdly timed jokes.

  24. I worked for a Michael Scott who would try to tickle me and pull my hair. He would get jealous of anyone I hugged. At a jobsite I saw an old friend, so we hugged. After refusing to also hug my boss, he insisted that we drive to where a female friend of his worked so he could get a hug from someone, but she had moved away.

    He subscribed to an email porn service, which was clearly not unsolicited because the password he had set up was in reference to the type of company we worked at.

    He assumed that I was naive and the other girl there was experienced, so he would say really crudely sexual things to her, then look at me and say “you wouldn’t understand”.

    He mishandled money and when he got caught, wrote a letter of reprimand blaming me for it, and sent a copy to the parent company. I had to file a response to clear my name of something I had nothing to do with.

    He did eventually get fired because every girl they hired after me filed a sexual harassment claim against him.

  25. I had a female-version of Michael Scott as a boss once. She would come into my office, sit down, and share really inappropriate personal stories with me about her family for an hour (or more) each day. It would make me really uncomfortable (and also feel really sorry for her). But then she’d try to force me to tell her really personal stories about my family in return. And she’d get angry if I didn’t, so I usually just made something up to get her to leave my office. Talk about wasting time.

  26. TOP EIGHT REASONS MY FORMER BOSS IS JUST LIKE MICHAEL SCOTT
    8. He once read aloud “set the parameters”….only he pronounced it “pair-a-meters”! When asked if he meant “parameters”, he looked back with confusion and said “um…ok??”
    7. He keeps all the company perks for himself
    6. At job fairs, thinks everyone should want to work for him, but has no money or benefits to offer
    5. Frequently tried to motivate staff through music…Doesn’t sing, but blasted “Seasons of Love” from RENT through the intercom on several occasions.
    4. Would often refer to people as “the girl with long, blonde hair who sits in the corner”, etc.
    3. Once, while giving a PowerPoint Presentation he stopped me to remark…”That’s so cool how you have that magnifying glass on there” (no, it wasn’t his name, but close enough!)
    2. Would often close his door so as not to be disturbed. Upon entry, staff members would find that he was merely watching television.
    1.When NBC sent him a “World’s Best Boss” mug as promotional merchandise for the show…he thought someone had really given it to him (and does to this day)!!
    **Yes, there are more that just wouldn’t fit!

  27. Once we were having a Halloween party at my office. First and Foremost my boss dressed as a Jamaican Bobsledder from the film Cool Runnings. All this costume required was a green, yellow and black jumpsuit, which he previously owned and worked out in, and saying the word mon’ after everything. I must have heard “Do the Monster Mash mon’” a thousand times. He received the reward for best costume, he was the judge.

    Secondly my boss has a band called The Rock Krispies and an album called snap crackle and rock. They cover mostly songs everyone is sick of hearing such as Paradise City, Love in an Elevator, and Free Falling.

    Lastly, he bought a ghost piñata, he of course had the first crack at it. Inside the Pinata were tootsie rolls and cassette tapes, Yes this happened last Halloween. The cassette tapes were of his band The Rock Krispies. As he cracked open the piñata in true Michael Scott fashion he misquoted Scarface by saying “Say Hello my little friend”.

  28. I often have garbage thrown at me because my boss tries to throw trash into the recycling bin behind my desk. I used to think he was trying to hit me, but he’s just a lousy shot. If he misses, he asks me to pick it up and give it back to him to try again. Without looking up, I murmur a deadpan, “no.” Sometimes he misses, but leaves it there for me to pick up.
    Often, he brings me a single sheet of paper to copy and requests that I deliver it to his desk. Meanwhile, the copy machine sits equidistant between my desk and his office.
    When making phonecalls to his male co-workers, he waits for them to answer, then belches into the receiver.
    During the process of hiring someone new, he brought me into his office and asked me in a confidential tone if I thought any of the applicants looked “gay”. He said he “needed a feminine perspective because [he was] just so bad at picking up on those things.” One woman’s application revealed that she played rugby in college. He said seriously, “Butch lesbian, huh?” I nodded my head as if to be pondering the whole matter with deep consideration and replied, “hmmm. I’ll let you know what I pick up on that.”

  29. I know a REAL Michael Scott. His name is Michael Scott. He is my uncle. I also know a REAL Angela Martin. Her name is Angela Martin. She is my aunt. Michael Scott and Angela Martin are siblings. Sure, this doesn’t really have to do with the contest, but it’s fascinating nonetheless.

  30. “Michael” would wear the same white oxford shirt every day of the week. How did we know? Coffee and food stains all over it (he looked so much like Chris Farley that one of our tenants would call him that). It was so dirty that the formerly white cuffs were black and I would be remiss if I forgot the huge hole in the forearm of the shirt. This man was the ‘top manager’ of a commercial building on a very prominent street in Chicago for a Fortune 50 company! He would snort and use nasal allergy spray all day long. I’m sure the tenants enjoyed that.

    He and our Broker were like Michael and Todd Packer:
    “Michael” (to me): Boy, you have large breasts.
    “Packer”: Yes you do!
    “Michael”: So, how much do those things weigh?

    He wanted to be friends so badly that he would take us out for lunch and drinks and charge it back to the company. He quoted movies like it was a religion.

    I converted to Judaism (“Where can I get a good corned beef around here?”) and my co-worker was Black. I wish I would’ve taken daily notes.

  31. My boss is like Michael as he also sees himself as an entertainer and wants to be everyone’s friend. While giving a speech for a colleague who was celebrating 30 years with the company he proceeded to read excerpts from this colleagues’ CV and first application letter, even though this is supposed to be confidential. Needless to say, his take on this was visibly embarrassing for everyone, but he clearly felt that it was a great “performance”. When another employee left the company, his idea of a good speech was to let her know when her children had been born, what their names were and how old they were now. He also tries to be everyone’s friend by sharing far too much personal information, such as his credit card debt issues(a month after he started working with the team) and also gossips about how he feels about other members of my team. He is crazy about his mobile phone and when lunching outside will check the weather at that time. Add to this the fact that he is a self described “free agent” who still does not understand what my job entails after having explained it on numerous occasions.

  32. I recently worked for a “gentleman” who thought it was appropriate to walk into my office and tell me rude, off color jokes. When he would see my face, he would then say “I’m just keeeding! Wow, you’re really no fun.” This would happen about 6 times a day. This is not to be outdone by his desire to show me the “business cards” of some “dancers”, or telling me the story of the bachelor party in his basement the night before. Or the time he thought it was a good idea to show me his profile on “sugardaddie.com” He would also offer me Percoset out of his pocket to help me “loosen up.” Needless to say I felt like Angela Martin, with every word coming out of my mouth being “that’s inappropriate.”

  33. I used to work in a small, non-chain retail store that sold CDs and records, and also dealt with musicians. The owner was constantly on the phone dealing will all types of different people, from the business side and the creative side. Then one day, his hatred of telemarketers overlapped with his realization that the phone could record calls.

    Thus, “Magic Phone” was born.

    With a fake voice and personality of “Chauncy”, he made cold callers wish they never dialed. When he got bored, he pranked customers and friends who’d call in. Then he played the tapes for everyone who walked into the store. Everything was improv, and on the spot.

    It was funny, but every call was lengthy. And as an employee, I heard each Magic Phone about 5 billion times. Along with the introductory “Wait till it gets to the GOOD part!”

    Recently, years later, Magic Phone got its own myspace, and one of my old coworkers gets paid for syncing up the audio with video. I think as of now, Magic Phone only has about 15 friends.

  34. When I was in seventh grade, we had clock buddies in social studies. We’d pair up with a certain clock buddy to do worksheeets or correct things. One time, my teacher called out, “Hook up with your two o’clock buddy!”

    My two o’clock buddy happened to be a girl named Melanie who made fun of me on a regular basis. I was none too pleased.

    Another thing about my bald, pervert-like seventh grade teacher/Michael Scott was the fact that he asked the girls who played soccer or cheerleaded when their next competition or game was. This creeped me out, so I kept my head down around him to minimize interaction and wore sweaters and high-collared shirts for the rest of the year.

  35. I used to work in a Call Center as the Assistant Manager (not Assistant to the Manager). There was a company wide promotion going on and the department with the highest return would win their Manager $15 for every sale. My Manager told me if I could get the staff enthusastic and eager to participate he’d let me take the sales bonus. I came up with a fun idea where every staff that sold this particular product would get a 3X8 print out of their name that I created with a specific font for each person and a pack of brand new crayons. They got to color or decorate it anyway they liked (and never underestimate how much fun it is to color, especially when you’re stuck in a Call Center and can’t move away from your desk). Then I taped all the names up along the walls around the department. Everyone loved coloring, and it became a competition among them to see who’s name could be the most elaborately decorated. There were some talented people in that group. We won the prize the first month out of the entire company, and my Manager gave me the bonus. But when we won the next 2 months he kept it for himself, even after I reminded him of his promise to me. Once I knew he was going to keep the money for himself, I quit being the driving force behind it and we never won again.
    Taking credit for motivating your staff to succeed when you did nothing is totally a Michael Scott thing to do. Amazingly enough, my boss even LOOKED like Michael. He was an umarried 40+ dark brown haired man that was a little socially inept and had a different sense of humor. He even had kind of the angular features that Michael Gary Scott has.

  36. My Michael Scott was a kid in my 8th grade class… let’s call him Dan. Constantly, as I was the unfortunate one having to sit behind him in science, he would put pieces of paper in my hoodie that had naughty words on them. He was also known to sing the song from the Subway commercial, never noticing that it was 5 dollars and not 4, like he sang it. Dan always quoted things wrong, and said “that’s what she said” quite a bit. When I asked him about The Office, though, he asked if that was the show with Tina Fey. So there you have it. Silly. Incompetent. Totally Michael Scott.

  37. I think #26 has to be my favourite. Are you sure it wasn’t pulled from some hidden deleted scenes from The Office? :)

  38. I interned for an older lady who, while kindhearted, was outspoken and not very tech-savvy. Since I didn’t have much to do, I often felt a lot like Pam. Some “Michael” moments:

    After a vacation in Australia she cracked up showing me pictures she took of her grandson at the zoo- the kangaroos in the background were having sex.

    She thought it was hilarious that all the kangaroo babies were named Joey.

    She needed a document from her personal email account but had forgotten the password because it was saved on her computer at home. She proceeded to talk through embarrassing passwords that she commonly used.

    She made me go with her to a hardware store during the day to buy a hose timer for her house, and then I had to put it together, program it, and teach her how to use it.

    She searched the web for an entire afternoon for a doll to use in a baby-care class in preparation for a new grandchild. It had to be “lifelike” and have certain hair/skin/eye colors. Inappropriate comments about the Google search results and the racial features of the dolls ensued.

  39. I used to volunteer some of my time at a library, and the manager was always very presumptuous. I remember this particular exchange vividly. It was after he called me to the circulation desk.

    I will be referring to the manager as “Michael.”

    Angelo: What can I help you with?
    Michael: What did you have in mind? (snickers)
    Angelo: Uhhh.
    Michael: You know my nephew is gay. And he’s dating a minority like you. He’s in a biracial homosexual relationship.
    Angelo: Okay.
    Michael: We’re going to the Pride Parade next weekend. Do you want to come with us? I want to have matching outfits with my nephew.

  40. 3, 9, 10 (the CSR–really? *lol*), 17 (your boss would make me insane), 21, 26, & 30 — thanks for making me laugh out loud!

  41. Where to begin – I am a software engineer at an Aerospace company, and we have what I believe is one of the most Michael-Scott like bosses that exists on this planet. The list of examples would bring this web-server to its’ knees, so I will pick a couple of recent winners that come to mind.

    Our Michael emulating boss sent an erroneous email to one of our brand new high-dollar customers that we had been courting for some time. The email was CC’d to many different people and had absolutely ZERO relevance to the customer, and came off as a bizarre rambling diatribe of insanity. When we approached him about it – he sat and stared at us shaking his head. Later that day, he sent out a real GEM to the exact same distribution list asking to (and yes, I am typing correctly) “Please forgive my incontinence. This message was not intended for your eyes”. Incontinence eh?

    Additional beauty’s (repeated to one of our Taiwanese engineers): “All of you Orientals look the same”.

    And: “That is women’s work”, which he then goes on to say is anything that he doesn’t want to do, but does anyway.

    Uncomfortable pause…

  42. My old boss’ initials were “M.S.”. I didn’t know his middle name but I wouldn’t be surprised if it started with a G. He would always hold pointless Stand Up Meetings once a week and on “ethnic holidays”.We had a Stand Up meeting to say farewell to one of the managers. His goodbye speech to her ended with him saying, “Baby Got Back.” Needless to say, jaws dropped across the office after hearing that. He once called me into his office to tell me that he was worried about my self-image because I had Britney Spears pictures at my desk(In my defense, I was 19 at the time).He told me that I shouldn’t be idolizing a white woman. He went as far as telling me to put a picture of a Filipino Superstar up at my desk. He no longer works for the company. He got on my nerves but he is without a doubt, one of the many reasons why I LOVE The Office. Having a real life Michael Scott as a boss made the show extremely relatable.

    The End

  43. I worked for a principal that we called “Michael Scott” because he would always say some of the most off color things in the teacher’s lounge and staff meetings. One staff meeting he talked about dress code and he said, “I don’t really care what you wear and long as these (pointing at his chest) are hanging out…I have this buddy that has a t-shirt that says: Tell your tits to stop staring at my eyes!”

    In the teacher’s lounge he said, “Hey it’s a good thing that my wife and I were not your parents because all night long you would hear…eeer eeer eeer eeer.” (The sound of bed squeaking.) Every week we joke around about the “Michael Scott” quote of the week!

  44. i work for a woman who is constantly saying completely inappropriate things and having me perform menial tasks (she will walk past someone’s office into mine with a folder and aks me to give it to the person whose office she JUST passed). my name is bridget but she only uses different nicknames (ballykissangel, bridge, etc) and screeches “bridge!!!” for no reason every time i pass her office or she passes mine even though she doesn’t need anything. she’s totally computer illiterate, i’ve taught her to ‘cut and paste’ about 6 times. her printer is constantly “broken” but actually she just doesn’t know how to install cartridges. she calls me cryptically about once a day “bridge… come into my office” (to gossip) in a low whisper and then hangs up. she also sends me about 25-40 email forwards every week. no joke.
    an example:
    i’m in the women’s restroom, peeing.
    she walks in, hears someone’s there (btw, she is always going into the men’s and women’s restroom looking for people when she has a question, work related or otherwise)
    her: “who is that?”
    me: “it’s me”
    her “oh BRIDGE!! what an ADORABLE little tinkle!!”

    seriously. that is a direct quote.

  45. Oh man, #45, your line about the “incontinence” typo reminded me that I’d forgotten to use THIS VERY EXAMPLE in my story.

    A couple weeks ago, the breaker that powers the air conditioner in our building blew, and after many failed attempts at repairing, the electrician realized he needed a part that wouldn’t be in for a couple days. We care for kids as young as 6 weeks old, and aren’t allowed to have the center open in that condition, so my boss sent an email to all of our families to let them know that we’d be closed the next day. It ended with, “Sorry for any incontinence this may cause.” Because clearly she misspelled “inconvenience” and chose the first option that spellcheck suggested.

    One of the parents who got this email actually forwarded it to me, with comments like, “Well, this email did make me pee a little.”

    also, you GUYS. these stories are unbelievable. and awesome.

  46. My boss isn’t a lot like Michael but here’s where he gets close.

    It happened on a Thursday, Thursdays were “touch” football night. I walked into my boss’ office to negotiate a pay raise. We talked for a little while, mostly about what color to paint the new company vehicle, the conversation ending with, “We’ll finish this tomorrow, see you tonight”. Right before we started the game my boss said, “Hey Chaka!!” he called me that for some reason, “Wrestle John and you get your raise.” John was about my size but clueless when it came to wrestling. I on the other hand had 5 years experience. Naturally, I accepted the challenge. The boss knowing this, set the rules to where I could not resist for the first 10 seconds. Long story short, he sprained my ankle and I got a BIG raise much more than I asked for.

    About five months later he, in good humor, stabbed me with a BORK. What’s that, you ask?? A fork taped to the top of a baseball bat. That one got me a free trip to Vegas!!

  47. My boss wastes about 2 hours a day in what he refers to as “motivational trainings”. These wonderful events start off with an ice breaker. This usually consists of him gallivanting around the room, clapping his hands, and yelling our company motto.(Absolutely inspirational!) After he realizes that no one is entertained by his antics, he moves on to the jokes he receives via email forwards. Of course most of the jokes are either out of taste for an office environment or completely stupid. He then moves on to the “training”. This usually consists of him showing us stupid clips from You Tube on the projector. Sometimes he invites a “guest speaker”. This is when the magic happens, and yes my boss actually pretends to be another person. Sometimes we are honored by the presence of a great entrepreneur, other times it’s a character from the latest SNL skit he watched. When I first started, we had one of these meetings, which I thought was orchestrated as some sort of way to screw with me, but they continued every day since. By the time my boss is done we have about 6 hours of time to catch up on our work.

  48. I had taken a job at a small radio station. It was early in my career. I arrived for my first day and came in to the main lobby. The program director for the station met me there. He told me to wait just a second while he took care of something. He went in the control room and FIRED the guy I was replacing. Then, he led the newly terminated employee past me in the lobby. When the guy was out the door, he took me to the control room and said something like, “Song’s almost over…” and went back to his office.

  49. Here are a few examples why my previous boss is like Michael Scott:
    1. He was talking to his employees about how he could not decide which $25,000 Oriental Rug to buy when most of his employees did not even make that as their annual salary.
    2. When his divorce became final, he let us out early and closed the office in celebration of it. Yet he refused to close the office when we lost power and had to sit outside for the day. (We have lost power on more than one occasion for the entire day.)
    3. After a co-worker of mine got a haircut, he told her that you look like a dog…you know one of those expensive ones.

  50. #40 – I promise you they’re all real. My boyfriend and I spend half of every show going “Oh my gosh, [boss] did that SAME THING today!!!” That’s probably why I love the show so much.

    We also work with a Dwight, an Andy, and a Todd Packer. No Ryans, thankfully.

  51. I’ve some of these stories and it saddens me that my boss is very similar.

    Here a a few bullet points:

    1.When he hears any sexual innuendo, he brings a new level to TWSS. Instead he says, “That’s what she said… last night!”
    2.His favorite movie of all time is Borat.
    3.He will send to me his personal musical stylings from time to time by email, and they’re all horrible.
    4.He will recite from word from word different movie quotes from ‘Coneheads’ to the epic adventure ‘Dune’.
    5.He has his Netflix sent to the office.
    6.He watched Season 1 and 2 or The Office and said he hated Michael Scott and hope he never met anyone like him.
    7.He talks about his childhood all the time, trying to compare his country life to city life and wondering why things are so different.
    8.He tries to talk about current events, but knows nothing about it.
    9.Jesse Jackson is his hero.
    10.And finally… when he speaks to African-Americans, he will use an entirely different voice than when he speaks to Caucasians.

    All in all, he is Michael Scott, but not funny. He is very real.

  52. I worked for a boss who had been recently divorced. As a result, he was dating again, and he was a big fan of online dating. I am a woman, and I was the receptionist. My boss had his own assistant, who was another woman. Every day, he would call us into his office to go through the mail. One day, he had printed off the online profiles of all the women he was interested in and put them all in a folder that he carried with him in his briefcase. He showed his assistant and I the women he liked and asked us questions like, “which one do you think is cuter?” and “how heavy do you think she is in real life?” It was unbelievable! He eventually suggested to me that I start online dating, and would ask me frequently if I was seeing anyone, and offered to set me up several times. He made various other inappropriate comments – he even made the women wear skirts every day because it was supposedly more “professional.”

  53. My old boss is a lot like Michael Scott. I was (un)fortunate enough to have to go on a trip with him and another colleague. It turned out to be the funniest time I’ve ever had.

    The morning went well enough and we took our first break; most everyone headed straight to the restrooms. I finished up pretty quickly and waited outside for my co-workers. My friend, who I’ll call Benny, came out of the men’s room almost dying from trying to hold back his laughter…”You’ll never guess what “Michael” is doing in there… he’s going to the bathroom (sitting down) with the stall door open.”

    The next morning we met in the lobby to go to class and “Michael” says to us, “You’ll never guess what happened to me this morning. I went to the door to get my paper and didn’t see one there, so I leaned out of the door to see if anyone else had gotten theirs and the door shut on me.” Haa haa, Benny and I laughed but that’s not the best part. He had to go to end of the hallway in his underwear to call the front-desk to let him in.

  54. This is a no brainer! I used to work for a divorced science teacher at a middle school as an assistant,(assistant to the teacher). He was the most unusual inappropriate man I have ever met! During class whenever we were supposed to be watching national geographic or some kind of science video, he would change the channel to Jerry Springer or put last nights “Cheaters” episode (NOT JOKING)..he would also ask the female students if they needed rides home and when they would say yes I would try my best to make sure they got home… SAFELY! He once also told me he squeezed womans arms when he got horny… I once saw him doing that to the principal…and before you know it they are happily married with 2 kids!

  55. I definitely had many “Michael Scott” moments over the years with a former boss. To think of just one has been quite a challenge.

    My old boss was quite fond of sharing the intimate details of the challenges he and his wife were having trying to conceive. One day over lunch, out of the blue, he started talking about his wife’s mucus levels and how they were using ‘predictor sticks’ to tell when the best time to try to conceive would be. Needless to say, that cleared the lunch room out.

    He also was a huge fan of children’s cartoons and loved Weird Al. Sounds like a “Michael Scott” to me!

  56. My current boss is a real life Michael Scott.
    -He is obsessed with fad diets. In order to avoid all calories, he just comes around to our desks, sticks his nose all over our lunches, and “just smells” the food. Now he’s into cauliflower-and-laxative shakes, and he’s even more into telling us all about the “after-effects.”
    -He refers to an employee he’s attracted to as “that blonde lusty h*ssy.”
    -He was supposed to give a presentation to visiting instructors on homeschooling, but instead changed it at the last minute (without notice) to vasectomies, complete with visual aids of a certain part of the male anatomy from a website called Big Biker B*lls dot com. He is no longer allowed to give presentations.
    -He will randomly materialize from nowhere and STARE at you for several minutes without speaking before walking away.
    -He tries to micromanage everything without knowing ANYTHING.
    -He’s obsessed with Latinos, and tries to speak in a Spanish accent to them. He is not even remotely Latino.
    -When he gets frustrated, he will pull his own hair and bang things against his head.

  57. I am a receptionist. Here’s my boss:

    1)When his assistant told him she was looking for a new job, his reaction was that it was “bad timing” with his 2 week vacation coming up (he also takes off every other Friday).
    2)Answered his phone “Wuz Uuuup”.
    3)When looking over someone’s resume, told her to “take off management, because you didn’t manage people, only coordinated them”.
    4)He’s obsessed with all his male assistants.
    5)Told me he had a “project” for me. This project was to find all the IMAX’s theater’s in our area that were showing Dark Night.
    6)Has been in the same job for many years without a promotion.
    7)Got jealous when the President of the company took me to a big event without inviting him.
    8)Makes his assistant or receptionist run out to get his lunch.
    9)Shows us his clothes and asks what we think of them.
    10)He LOOKS like Michael Scott.

    Anyone want to give me a new job? If he reads this, I might need one…

  58. My boss last summer wasn’t as bad as Michael, but there were some definite similarities. Case in point:

    Michael: Hey, you gotta help me with this.
    Me: Is this an email forward?
    Michael: Yes. It’s a riddle! Help me!
    Me: Um. Okay, send it to me. I’ll work on it at my desk.

    [10 minutes later]

    Michael: Did you do it?
    Me: Oh, uh, the riddle?
    Michael: Yeah!
    Me: No. I was working.
    Michael: What?! No, no, no! This is priority one! We have to figure this thing out!
    Me: O…kay.
    Michael: It said if I forwarded it to 15 people the answer would magically appear. But it didn’t magically appear.
    Me: Oh.

  59. Oh man, I will have fun reading all these tomorrow on my dinner break. Must sleep now.

  60. My boss, Rick, is Michael Scott personified. On one of my first days at this job he told me, “My pants are like Burger King…home of the Whopper.” Besides his use of sexually explicit “humor,” he’s a total racist, but he seems completely unaware of that notion. On Martin Luther King Day, he repeatedly told me that he preferred to call the holiday, “James Earl Ray Day.” He presents himself as being incredibly important. He was a Michigan state police detective, and now he’s a forensic fire investigator, and he’s always telling me how he’s “known” all over the world. He literally said, “People know me.” He once said, “I’ve burned over 60 houses and 120 cars.” Also, whenever I ask him what he’s doing, his reply is always the same, “secret squirrel shit.” He just comes off so smug, but at the same time, I think he means well. I guess it’s hard to tell. Perhaps he’s just a mental manic in sheep’s clothing. He’s my real live Michael Scott.

  61. My old boss was the walking example of the “I know I’m funny and my co-workers must know that, too!” part of Michael Scott’s personality. He would address everyone as various impersonations, most common would be his “New York Accent,” which actually is just adding ‘s’ to everything. He also loves Quagmire from Family Guy, and instead of “That’s what she said” he substitutes the more obnoxious “Heh, Heh, Aallriiighhtt” when any kind of possible innuendo arrises. On my very first day of work, he detailed in length the entire plot of “Snakes on a Plane”, which he had recently seen, while I stood unresponsively for the entire length of that one-sided conversation. He sometimes made up nicknames, but I was usually just “babe.” In addition to his comedic talents, he has the same social desperation. Any time I made small talk about my weekend with a friend, he would ask “Did you talk about me?” creating the most awkward situation possible. His idea of flirting is to engage in conversation longer than the other person feels comfortable. In fact, when it comes to awkward moments, I would rank my old boss over Michael Scott for his ability to create them.

  62. 1 To impress new female coworkers or visitors to the office, my boss would keep a pair of rolled up socks in his drawer to stuff in his pants
    2 Had a daily ‘seminar time’ in our break room to discuss hot issues such as celebrity divorces
    3 Thought putting ‘Kick Me’ signs on people’s backs was the height of hilarity (seriously)
    4 Signed up for the Big Brothers/Sisters program because *he* wanted a Big brother (again, seriously)
    5 Ate nothing but cereal the whole time I knew him. He would actually walk around with a bowl all the time, dripping milk. He left the empty bowls in his office, so the sour milk smell eventually kept everyone far away.
    6 Didn’t realize the sweatpants with words across the butt were for primarily women, and owned 3 or 4 pairs which he wore on casual Fridays
    7 In true M.S. fashion, EVERYTHING he said or did was a reference to a movie or TV show. All his jokes were stolen directly from stand-up comedian’s routines. Would become extremely upset when someone said ‘Isn’t that George Carlin’s bit?’
    8 Was in love with Marisa Tomei, and constantly brought us letters he said she’d written him. Until we found them saved on his computer.

  63. My old boss was obsessed with “The Secret.” Everyone was forced to watch the movie one morning. “The Secret” preaches the power of positive thinking. One day a receptionist needed to leave her shift early but she could not get in touch with another replacement. Her response: “Hang up this phone and just think about a car coming here with your replacement. Don’t call me back until that car shows up and someone comes in to help you. Just keep imagining it!”

    I had to call every blockbuster in town and see which one carried “Mr Holland’s Opus” for a “motivational movie” session!

    She made everyone talk to a stuffed parrot that would repeat back anything you said!

    She told us she wanted a puppy, but her husband would not let her buy one. Our CEO even said she wouldn’t be allowed to bring one into the office. One day I overheard this:
    Boss: “I want you to meet Olivia, say hello!”
    Employee: “OHHHhh, Hellooo Olivia.” (Like Holly to Kevin).
    I thought Olivia was a new employee. Not at all! She later introduced me to “Olivia,” a stuffed dog she carried around in her coat from that day forward!

  64. I used to work for a “Michael Scott” who was the vice-principal of the school I taught at some years ago. On Parent-Teacher Night, he walked over to my desk (while a parent was waiting to talk to me no less) and said, “Hi! You’ve lost some weight, haven’t you? You look really good…I mean, really, REALLY good…what you’ve lost on your chest you make up for with the rest! Then he winked at me and walked away.

  65. Pulled me into his office to talk about our co-workers and tell us who he liked and disliked, as well as what everyone thought of me.

    Sent me to Nordstrom to get as many cologne samples as I could for his date that night.

    Informed us that there was no money for raises although he drove a new Mercedes and lived in a multi million dollar home.

    Playing and re-playing e-cards on his computer loud enough for everyone in the office to hear.

    Called me and whispered into the phone to schedule a top secret meeting that wound up being about spa treatments.

    Scheduled a meeting with co-worker to tell her she was “bitchy.”

    Used the company card for 50+ mile taxi trips when he was drunk on the weekends.

    Pulled co-worker and I into his office to discuss how the female VP was in love with him and it killed her to see him with any other woman at company events. This was also his explanation for why he never brought a date.

    Pulled co-worker and I into his office to ask how we felt about the rumored affair between him and my co-worker.

    I really wish these weren’t true, but hey, at least it makes for funny stories now! :)

  66. The president of a company I worked for was quite Michael Scottish.
    -He had a life size cut out of himself made and placed in the lobby.
    -He had an exercise bike put into his office and kept asking people to come check it out.
    -He paraded the skinniest girl in the office around in front of the larger people in the office to show “what a good workout can do”.
    -He frequently ate from other people’s plates, including licking someone’s ice cream cone.
    -He hosted an extravagant birthday party each year for himself.
    -He had is secretaries keep track of anytime someone got new office supplies to see if they personally thanked him.
    -He took candy from worker’s personal candy jars and then handed them out to other people and expected to be thanked.
    -He told my sixty year old co-workers that she was wearing “sexy pants” one day.

  67. “Michael’s” Birthday:
    To parallel my real life with a favorite episode:

    My boss wanted a surprise birthday party for herself. She called her #2 into her office and gave her specific instructions on how we should surprise her:

    1. Specific colored (white & pink) streamers purchased new
    2. White Cake, White Frosting, Sprinkles on top.
    3. We must decorate after she leaves so it will be a “surprise” when she comes in on her birthday.

    We followed these instructions and thought we’d get off easy because she was going out of town at lunchtime on her birthday. But no, a ½ day celebration was not good enough (including singing “Happy Birthday”).
    We had to save the cake (uncut) and leave up the decorations for five days while she was gone.
    On her return we had to sing “Happy Birthday” again, and finally were able to cut the cake. Everyone got a small piece, and when a coworker asked for seconds was told “No”. She put the lid on the cake & took it to her office, saying she was taking it home…she is single, with no kids…BUT, her greatest ambition in life is to get married and have many kids.

  68. I wish 200 words were enough to fully capture the man who we call ‘Megaphone.’ The loudest person in the history of the world, each day brings a slew of verbal blunders that can only be matched by professional writers preparing dialogue for one Michael C. Scott. With a less-than-firm grasp on today’s lingo, he’ll often ask, “What’s the download?” So confused is he by speaking that he continually calls his own employees by incorrect names – as Rodgers instead of Rodger and Bowzer instead of Brauzer. Recently, Megaphone changed his desktop wallpaper – to a photo of his wife in a bikini stretched out on a motorcycle. The bootylicious – trust me on that one – photo is see by all passerby. Clients, co-workers, business partners – it matters not to Megaphone who wants to show the world what he “gets to go home to every night,” as he puts it. His complete lack of appropriates was perhaps best reflected when, during the viewing of a “love scene” in a movie being viewed by several employees at an office outing, he walked in during the steamy scene and said “that’s exactly what my wife and I just finished doing.” You, sir, are amazing.

  69. My “Michael” doesn’t have that offensive comedic gift, but he definitely has other Michael Scott-ish traits. Many of us employees try to make our way past his desk quietly after clocking in, in hopes of not getting pulled aside for the thirty-minute briefing of whatever is on his mind. We are highly discouraged from talking amongst ourselves, even when doing the most mundane tasks set out by “Michael”, who believes they are of utmost importance. However, if “Michael” becomes bored of playing solitaire on the computer or writing people emails full of random facts he thinks they’ll enjoy, he’ll come over to try and converse with us. If you try and present a point of view that doesn’t agree with his, you are told to quit talking and get back to work. “Michael” also prides himself as being the consummate boss, promising to deal with any concerns that you may have over pay concerns, screwed up work priorities and the like, but as soon as he comes under pressure from anyone above, he crumbles. Sound familiar? But, like the Dunder Mifflin employees we feel he comes from a good place in his heart and we put up with it.

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