iTunes: Ryan Howard’s List

Here is Ryan the temp’s iTunes playlist — hilariously written, as usual. Check out the explanations for tracks 10 and 11.

Thanks to LiveJournal user sumdisaster for the tip!

“I Turn My Camera On” (Track 1): “You know those five minutes or so on your drive to work, after you’ve shaken off the grogginess of waking up and after your cup of coffee has kicked in — but before your day turns into absolute soul-crushing drudgery? This is my theme song for those five optimistic minutes.”

“Bed and Breakfast” (Track 2): “Often, it seems that I can go thrugh an entire day without smiling…I put stuff like this in on the car ride home and try to catch up quick.”

“Funky Boss” (Track 3):
“I used to love this song. Now I just like this song.”

“Crazy in Love” (Track 4): “A girl I work with really wanted me to include this song. Actually, she insisted that I put the entire Beyonce album Dangerously in Love on this playlist. This is our compromise.”

“Got Some Teeth” (Track 5): “One time I was in Peru with some of my best friends from college hiking the Inca Trail, and this song came on the guide’s radio, and we thought it was a hip-hop song that some Peruvian DJ had mashed up with local music, and we loved it, and we laughed so hard when we came back and they were playing it in this airport bar in New York. Now I’m a temp at a paper company.”

“Take This Job and Shove It” (Track 6): “It’s weird — I don’t like country music, but for some reason I really, really like this song. Weird, right?”

“My Humps” (Track 7): “If you happen to think ‘junk in the trunk’ is a good thing, or you ever have to convince someone else that it’s a good thing after she hears from a friend of yours at work that you said she has it . . . this is the song for you.”

“Kokomo” (Track 8): “Whenever I am having a really bad day, I come home and put on this song. This song is so bad that it makes my day look okay by comparison.”

“When I Get My” (Track 9): “There’s a guy I work with, I’m kinda friends with him, really nice guy, but…I don’t know, sometimes I want to leave this song anonymously on his desk.”

“Toxic” (Track 10): “I unironically love this song. Sorry.”

“We Didn’t Start the Fire” (Track 11): “This song has been stuck in my head all year.”

More playlists: Michael | Dwight | Jim | Pam

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