Dwight’s updated his blog, and the topic is power. It is his most suspenseful entry yet; almost as good as 24.
“Knowledge is power.” – Frances Bacon
“Information is power.” – Dwight Schrute
“Power is power.” – Dwight Schrute
When I was a little boy (age 11), my Uncle Grit, took
me out back to the stand of maples by Schrood creek.
He brought his binoculars (Zeiss Victory 8×42 T FL)
and shook them tenderly out of their case. He put his
hand on my shoulder and the binocs to my little round
eyes. He then showed me, high up on a branch, a
strange doll with a noose around it’s neck, hanging
from an upper branch.
“What is that, Uncle Grit?”
“That, ‘D-cup’ (for that is what he called me), is a
Harry S. Truman doll. It was hung there in protest
effigy by myself and seven of my brothers in 1948. We
we’re huge ‘Dewey’ fans and felt Truman was a traitor
to the cause. We hung it in a place where only us
Schrutes knew of it, so we wouldn’t get arrested or
anything. This is a Schrute secret. And as you are
now a man, I am letting you know.”
I knew at that point that I had become a Schrute. I
had become a man.
Cut to: a nuclear explosion off the coast of
Cut to: 5 years later.
I am showing little Johnny Hecht around the property.
He has entered the family through marriage (Cousin
Helga and Hank Hecht who managed the ice rink).
I have a crossroads in front of me. Two roads
diverged in the yellow snow. And I took the one less
I told little Johnny about the Truman effigy.
Why? Why, do you ask? Why did you betray your Uncle
Grit by telling a non-Schrute about the doll?
I told little Johnny about the doll and told him that
he was now the recipient of privileged information
that could get him killed or worse if it ever got out.
Johnny gasped and swore his allegiance to me for all
Little Johnny was now mine. I controlled him. Like a
pawn in my own private game of Schrute chess. Like a
golem from Yiddish lore.
That, my friends and readers, is how one uses
powerfully uses power to gain power.
Lesson learned? Don’t “F” with a Schrute.
That is All.
Dwight K. Schrute
Post Script. Where is Johnny now you ask? Serving
with honor in the Coast Guard off the coast of Naples,
Florida. The exact same Coast Guard featured in the
hit movie “The Guardian” starring Ashton Kutcher.
Thanks to nbcskampy over at the NBC Office boards for the tip!