The Office: Back From Vacation, 3.12

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The Office Back From Vacation

Writer: Justin Spitzer, Director: Julian Farino

Summary (NBC): Michael tries to hang on to his relaxed island vibe, but it becomes too much when an email containing a racy vacation photo is forwarded around the office. Jim and Karen argue.

The Office Back From Vacation extras

The Office Back From Vacation quotes

Jim: You’re not allowed to take off your pants in the middle of the office.

Jim: Dwight, you know what, just back up, okay, that’s making me uncomfortable. This is sexual harassment, by the way. Omigod! He’s got a knife!
Dwight: I do not have a knife!
Jim: No, let the record show that Dwight K. Schrute is now completely nude and is holding a plastic knife to Stanley’s neck?!
Dwight: Let the record show that Jim Halpert is a liar!
Jim: Dwight Schrute is now wearing a baby’s bonnet!

Karen: Dwight, what is that on your stomach? Is that a Muppet Babies tattoo?
Jim: Omigod, Karen, you’re right, that is Animal from the Muppet Babies.

Andy: I am now chopping off Phyllis’ head with a chainsaw!

Michael: Aren’t you going to ask me how Jamaica was? Say it. Ask me.

Michael: At Sandals, Jamaica, when somebody says ‘hey mon,’ everybody says ‘hey mon’ back.

Stanley: I am not doing a lick more work until I get my full bonus check.

Karen: He said it would be like we were living together. In different houses. Two blocks away.

Michael: Feelin’ hot, hot, hot!

Michael: I want us all to start having pina coladas every day at three.

Michael: I specifically went on vacation so I would miss it.

Michael: Inventory is boring.

Michael: Tonight, we are going to have an inventory luau.

Michael: The Jamaicans don’t have a word for ‘impossible.’

Michael: How hard is a luau. All you need are some grass skirts, pineapple, poi, tiki torches, suckling pig, some fire dancers, it’s all you need.

Pam: Omigod. Is that Jan?

Michael: That’s a German woman named Urkel Grue.

Michael: Officially, I did not see her. But I did see Jan there. In our room. At night. And in the morning. That’s all I’m going to say. Sex. We had sex. I had sex with her. I had sex with Jan.

Packer: You took the ice queen? I don’t buy it.

Packer: They wouldn’t give you a subscription to Maxim.

Michael: That was supposed to go to Packer, not “packaging.”

Andy: Call me if she rolls over.

Michael: The file name is “Jamaican Jan Sun Princess.”

Pam: Honestly, I think you should go easy on her.

Pam: That’s what friends do. I help Phyllis all the time. Just yesterday, I untangled a piece of tape from her hair.

Pam: It’s better than listening to Michael play a conch shell.

Jim: What happened there? Kidnapping?

Toby: Michael, nine different people emailed me that photo, including my ex-wife.

Michael: Skeevy little perv.

Michael: Got enough, weirdo?

Phyllis: I called every grocery store in Scranton, and no one sells whole pigs.
Angela: Did you try the petting zoo?

Michael: I hit a deer with my car. Tell her I hit a cat.

Roy: Mike, you are a rock star, man. You are the man!

Roy: That corporate booty, he likes to hit it!

Dwight: I have disconnected the office T1 line.

Karen: The Day’s Inn room 228 was starting to get really depressing.

Dwight: So you’re PMSing pretty bad, huh?

Jan: I was in Scottsdale visiting my sister.

Jan: My psychiatrist thinks that I have some self-destructive tendencies.

Jan: I think I owe it to myself to find some kind of happiness.

Jan: You’re wrong for me. In every way.

Michael: And I, to you, in addition, feel the same feelings that you are as well.

Jan: Wait 15 minutes, find an excuse, and meet me at your condo.

Michael: You complete me.

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