« Previous episodeNext episode »
Writer: B.J. Novak, Director: Dennie Gordon
Summary: Jan leads a women’s seminar and quickly learns that the ladies at the Scranton branch have aspirations very different from her own.
The Office Boys and Girls extras
The Office Boys and Girls quotes
Michael: What’s more important than quality? Equality.
Dwight: It’s a terrible idea.
Jim: What is?
Dwight: Them, in there all together. They stay in there too long, they’re going to get on the same cycle. Wreak havoc on our plumbing.
Michael: Toby, come on over. You’re a guy … too … sort of.
Michael: Why can’t boys play with dolls? Why does society force us to use urinals, when sitting down is far more comfortable?
Michael: Managing the warehouse is a very important part of my job. And I haven’t been there in months.
Dwight: Remember on Lost? When they met The Others?
Michael: Darryl is actually the foreman here, and not Roy, which is cool…there’s Roy, riding the big rig … um so Roy is actually going to be marrying Pam sometime this summer, and she’s our receptionist, sort of a Brangelina thing.
Michael: Brangelina is the Brad Pitt and Angelina …
Roy: I don’t understand.
Michael: Roy … Roy and Pam, it’s a Ram. It’s a Ram thing.
Kevin: I bet Roy heard about you liking Pam. I bet he’ll try to beat you up.
Jim: Thanks for the heads up, Kev.
Kevin: I got your back if he does. But try to stay out of it.
Michael: You may look around, and see two groups here. White collar, blue collar. But I don’t see it that way. You know why not? Because I am collar-blind.
Meredith: Hi, I’m Meredith and I’m an al … good at supplier relations.
Pam: I don’t know how I fit in with these women.
Roy: Glad she has a friend at work that she can get through the day with, she’s not all blah blah blah when she gets home …
Jim: Yeah, I like talking to her too.
Meredith: In five years, I’d like to be five years sober. Four and a half.
Kelly: I’ll tell you one thing. I am not going to be one of those women schlepping her kids around in a minivan.
Jan: Great! Uh huh.
Kelly: I want an SUV. With three rows of seats.
Jan (in interview): Well I’ll be honest, one of the goals of these womens’ seminars is to feel out if there’s any standouts, women who could be a valuable addition to our corporate life.
Dwight: Michael wants us to bond, so we need topics for conversation.
Ryan: How ’bout rainbows?
Darryl: We’re the ones that gotta clean that up!
Pam: I always dreamed of a house with a terrace upstairs.
Jan: There are always a million reasons not to do something.
Michael: What is our beef, as human men.
Warehouse guy: Now that’s a good question, Hasselhoff.
Phyllis: I’m excited about today. I love girl talk.
Angela: I’m not gaining anything from this seminar. I’m a professional woman. The head of accounting. I’m in the healthiest relationship in my life. I just think it’s insulting that Jan thinks we need this. And apparently, judging from her outfit, Jan aspires to be a whore.
Kevin: That sucks so hard.
Dwight: Yeah, and then they make you drive them to church the next morning. Like gas ain’t free!
Darryl: You don’t feel us.
Michael (to Pam, while he’s trying to talk to Jan): Can I help you?
Stanley: This here is a run-out-the-clock situation. Just like upstairs.
Pam: We watched a video about our changing bodies.
Michael (as he’s pouring out a gigantic bag of styrofoam peanuts onto Darryl’s head): Happy New Year, Darryl! Hey Darryl, you ever done this?
Jan: Okay, let’s take five. I think we could all use five.
Kelly: How can someone so beautiful be so sad?
Pam: Dreams are just that. They’re dreams. They help get you through the day. Like the thing about the terrace. It’s nice. But, um … I don’t know. It was just something I read in this book when I was 12. Uh, the girl in the book has a terrace outside of her bedroom. And she planted flowers on it. And I just loved that. Just always kind of stuck with me.
Jim: So you’re not doing it.
Pam: How did you know?
Jim: Why not?
Pam: Just, like, no big reason. Just a bunch of little reasons.
Pam: Roy’s right, there’s no guarantee it’s going to lead to anything anyway.
Jim: Roy said that.
Pam: What. You have something you want to say?
Jim: You gotta take a chance on something sometime, Pam. I mean, do you want to be a receptionist here, always?
Pam: Oh excuse me, I’m fine with my choices.
Jim: You are?
Pam (in interview): It’s impractical, I’m not going to try to get a house like that. Um, they don’t even make houses like that in Scranton. So I’m never gonna … (breaks down in tears).
Michael: Do black people like pizza?
Icon provided by chel1395.