The Office: Christmas Wishes, 8.10

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The Office: Christmas Wishes

Writer: Mindy Kaling, Director: Ed Helms

Summary (NBC): Andy grants everyone’s holiday wishes — Andy tries to make this year’s Christmas the best ever by granting each person’s holiday wishes. Meanwhile, Robert California tries to drown his sorrows at the office party.

The Office Christmas Wishes extras

The Office Christmas Wishes rating

In a poll conducted December 8-12, 2011, Tallyheads rated this episode: 8.30/10

See all The Office Season 8 ratings.

The Office Christmas Wishes quotes

Quotes manually transcribed by tanster. :)

Stanley: I’ve been here 18 years and have suffered through some weird thematic Christmases. A Honolulu Christmas, a Pulp Fiction Christmas, a Muslim Christmas, Moroccan Christmas, Mo Rocca Christmas, I don’t want it. Christmas is Christmas is Christmas is Christmas!

Jim: I got Stanley tickets to see Lewis Black for his birthday. Might not have been the best idea.

Creed: Hey, what’s Ruth’s deal, man?
Andy: Totally out of your league.

Andy: Mistletoe is not an excuse for sexual assault.

Erin: We don’t even need to meet, you know? I already love you. Stay home.

Robert: Happy Pancha Ganapati.

Robert: I feel like a kitten being cradled by a gorilla.

Robert: I’m so tired of the Black Eyed Peas. It’s rock and roll for people who don’t like rock and roll. It’s rap for people who don’t like rap. It’s pop for people who don’t like pop.

Jim: Kathy wants to leave our clump?

Dwight: The weak always bully the strong. Contrary to what you see in the media.

Andy: I’m going to speak in a language you both understand. Monet.

Andy: You need consequences. I want you both walking on eggshells.

Andy: My ex is meeting my sex. Which is always scary.

Andy: I hope you’re not talking about my penis.

Andy: I want you to meet Jessica. She is an assistant cross country coach at Bryn Mawr.

Andy and Jessica: Spontaneous scoliosis.

Val: Isn’t that just for popsicles?
Darryl: Popsicles?
Val: Yeah, upstairs people, ’cause you got a stick up your butt.

Nate: You had me at cookies. I can’t wait to find out what they are!

Jim: Dwight really wants my bonus. He’s trying to entrap me. Oh god, now I can’t drink at this thing. I get really pranky when I drink.

Erin: Jiminy Christmas!

Darryl: I meant dressed up compared to normal. You usually dress like a ghost buster.

Darryl: It’s good for people to get to know you.
Val: As a contestant on ‘Dancing with the Stars’ maybe.

Erin: I want my sugar-free cookie. And then I want a sugar cookie. And then I want my nap.

Toby: This sounds a lot like the premise of my latest Chad Flenderman novel. A Murder For Framing.

Toby: Chad Flenderman. Just an easygoing black guy who knows the streets. Yet he also went to Oxford. Just as comfortable on a motorcycle as he is on Air Force One. He’s also the world’s leading Egyptologist.

Angela: No. Porcupines don’t have souls. They’re like dogs.

Jim: Were you quilled?
Dwight: Yes, I was quilled.
Jim: And what’s its name?
Dwight: Henrietta.

Erin: I’m going to go do another reverse spit. That’s how the cool kids say “get a drink.”

Kevin: I don’t want to put you out, but if someone’s making oatmeal, I’ll take an apple cinnamon and a maple brown sugar in one bowl with whole milk.

Erin: I said I wish Jessica was dead. I wish she was in a graveyard. Under the ground. With worms coming out of her mouth.

Erin: So which one are you? A murderer or a liar?

Kevin: Hey. So there was talk of oatmeal.

Andy: Do you think two friends who are not sleeping together can stay friends?

Andy: Christmas miracles do happen.
Jim: Yes, they totally do.

Ryan: You can’t click on these Kardashian links. That’s why you have so many viruses.

Erin: Kelly.
Kelly: Yo.
Erin: Game on.
Kelly: On it.

Kelly: Jessica, did you just fart?

Kelly: And that is how it’s done.

Erin: I would like another alcohol.

Oscar: Oh, this is daunting. I need a mortar, pestle, muddler. Does anyone have any chocolate shavings?

Creed: Whoa. We got a real Clarence Thomas here.

Dwight: What are we going to do with all that bonus money, Henrietta, huh?

Andy: Meredith, shut your drunk hole right now.

Icon provided by pessimistreader.


  1. Item 1: No Jenna Fischer in the episode cast list. Makes me a bit sad. :(

    Item 2 (speculation to follow): Robert “drowns his sorrows”…leads me to believe (think I saw this in an early spoiler) that things won’t end well with Mrs. California on the Dec. 1 episode. Which, of course, could lead to his fling with Nellie when Catherine Tate comes back.

    Looking forward to this, the Christmas episodes are among my top favorites of the series!

  2. Of course Pam will be in this episode. A Christmas episode of the show would suck if she is not around. Besides, it’s the first Xmas episode without Michael, who has always appeared in every one of them; well, not anymore. Let’s focus on Andy leading Christmas in the office for the first time in his life, as a manager, and let’s see how hard he’s gonna work for it.

  3. Mindy tweeted that she’s wrote the episode and that Ed Helms is directing the episode. Can’t wait for this episode, wanna see what a great director Ed is. And I know he will be a good one

  4. I think Robert California is a great character, but I was under the impression that he wouldn’t be in every single episode, which I would have liked.

  5. the fact that mindy is writing it already has me intrigued. if it’s at least half as good as classy christmas it’ll still be amazing.

  6. Why is Robert California always in Scranton? Isn’t Sabre’s headquarters in Tallahassee, Florida?

    Unless he turns out to be the Scranton Strangler…his role on the show is dumb and pointless.

  7. Yeah, we were told that Robert would only be in 15 episodes. Either he will be absent most of the second half or the season, which I’d like honestly, or they changed their mind on 15.

  8. I’m glad to see that others would like less Robert. He’s not really doing it for me and he’s kind of putting a damper on my favorite show. He makes everybody in the office act dumb which is so painful to watch (and not in the good way it used to be painful to watch Michael talk to Phyllis about getting a boner).

  9. ugh! I could do with less Robert California too. All he really does is hover around the office and make everyone start acting insane.
    Also, I don’t think Jenna is going to be in any of these ‘upcoming’ episodes, since they were filming once she was on maternity leave (I’m guessing if she is it will be briefly, or possibly something they could have pre-filmed).

    ps – I’d love for Robert to be the Scranton Strangler, it would explain so much (Or Gabe, he’s a little out there too)

  10. I just hope Jenna is in this one, even if it is only briefly. Anybody know? Her presence would be missed greatly from a Christmas episode.

    I enjoy Mindy’s writing most of the time, as long as there’s no blood involved this time! I love the episode premise.

  11. I am enjoying James Spader, but the writers don’t seem to know what to do with RobCal. It seems every episode they are changing the tenor of Robert. I keep hoping they get him figured out soon so Spader can settle into the character, and the show can move forward. Unfortunately I am not enjoying Andy as RM; I liked him much better as a salesman.

  12. Rob Cal isn’t so much the problem as is Andy trying to impress everyone. Out of the 8 episodes so far, 5 or 6 have been about Andy needing approval. Let’s ditch this story-arc and get back to some good ol’ fashioned office. Where’s Toby? Where’s Ryan and Kelly? And Creed? Has he had a speaking role this season? I watch The Office, not The Andy Bernard Needy Hour.

  13. My Christmas wish is less Andy as the focus of the show and more balanced interaction with the ensamble. Of course it’s a given I would love lots of JAM!

  14. @Karen – I wish I was Santa, because I’d love to make your wish come true! I’d even throw in less Robert lurking around the office for no apparent reason.

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