The Office: Classy Christmas, 7.11-7.12
Thursday, December 9th, 2010 | 210 comments
W: Mindy Kaling, D: Rainn Wilson
Summary (NBC): Michael could not be happier when Toby has to take a leave of absence and corporate sends Holly Flax to cover for him. Pam is forced to do a second Christmas party after Michael wants the party to be on the day Holly returns to Scranton. Meanwhile, Jim regrets agreeing to a snowball fight with Dwight. One-hour long. Guest star: Amy Ryan.
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The Office Classy Christmas trivia
- Mindy Kaling answers fan questions about ‘Classy Christmas’!
- Guest characters: Robert Lipton | Nate | A.J. | Scranton Strangler
- Comic book: The Adventures of Jimmy Halpert
- Wallpaper: The Office Christmas wallpaper
- Photos: Publicity photos | NBC.com gallery
- Videos: Promos | Sneak peeks | Behind the scenes
Rating
In a poll conducted December 9-13, 2010, Tallyheads rated this episode: 8.93/10
The Office Classy Christmas quotes
Manually (and lovingly) transcribed by tanster. :)
Kevin: What if all the boys are on one side, all the girls are on the other, the boys are like, “why I oughta…,” and the girls are like, “let’s go shopping!”
Dwight: This is a store-bought camera. This isn’t one of those special military-grade cameras that will be able to capture that.
Andy: If we all jump really high, we’ll be in the air longer.
Oscar: Here’s a question nobody’s asking: is this worth it?
Pam: I shut it down. At its worst, it was a toxic political club used to make others feel miserable and left out. At its best, it planned parties.
Michael: Did anyone get drunk already?
Meredith: Not yet.
Michael: So Stanley, how big is the bug up your butt today?
Michael: My kids are growing up. As a boss, I look at that and I say, great. It’s exactly what a boss would hope would happen because that’s what I want. That’s what every boss wants, is a wonderful Christmas with no drama.
Kelly: Oh, yes, perfect, thank you, Kelly. Finally, something for you to do.
Kelly: It’s a Hello Kitty laptop sleeve.
Kelly: I wonder if these presents would be under as much scrutiny if I were white. (Everybody groans.) I said “I wonder.” I didn’t say “I think.”
Kelly: Blankets? What am I, five?
Gabe: Yes, Erin and I are still dating. Why do you ask me so often if we’re still dating?
Darryl: My little girl, Jada? It’s my turn to have her for Christmas this year.
Darryl: iCarly… you know what’s funny on that show? The friend with the video camera? He’s got a nice way of talking.
Dwight: Omigod! It’s the first snowfall of Christmas. Is that just so magical for you, little girl? Can you not wait to have a hot chocolate and cuddle up with papa and tell him about all your Christmas dreams? Hmm? It’s not even a real snow. Look, it’s a dusting. Pitiful.
Dwight: Dammit, Jim, you cannot throw snowballs in here!
Dwight: Look at that. There’s a pebble in there. You could have killed me!
Stanley: Who’s the little girl now?
Dwight: It’s a snowball fight. It’s not fun. Go get your own thing. Beat it.
Kevin: That would be impressive, if anyone knew what a comptroller was.
Angela: Do you have any idea how many photographers there are at a ribbon cutting ceremony? I do. Two.
Toby: I’ll be taking a leave of absence starting next week.
Michael: Oh because you’ve been on the lam? Because the Boring Police have been after you, and they finally caught up with you?
Michael: The case of the horrible redheaded sad sack. And the verdict: it was Toby. And the sentence? Death. Death to Toby. Death to Toby!
Dwight: Is it the middle school teacher who tried to turn her foreign exchange student into a sex slave?
Meredith: Was it the post office guy who rubbed his penis all over the mail?
Michael: How do you describe somebody who is at the same time an old friend, and was a lover, and was a complicated part of my past, and maybe, just maybe, a part of my future?
Creed: She’s one sassy black lady.
Pam: I honestly think you’re idealizing people here again, Michael.
Michael: Thank you, Scranton Strangler, I love you. You just took one more person’s breath away.
Michael: The name is Bond. Santa Bond. I’ll have an eggnog shaken, not stirred. Classic Brosnan.
Angela: Stop moving your calves so much while you’re talking!
Michael: The food is going to be austere.
Michael: Could he help us with some parking tickets?
Angela: I don’t think that’s appropriate.
Michael: Well, then he’s not a senator.
Pam: I’ve been working forever on Jim’s present. He always gives me the best Christmas gifts. He’ll take a memory or a private joke and he’ll create something totally unique. I love them. So this year, I made him something. A comic book. It stars Jimmy Halpert, a mild-mannered paper salesman who, while riding his bike through the forest, is bitten by a radioactive bear. Becomes Bear Man. Wreaks havoc on the office. It’s really good.
Dwight’s post-it note to Jim: “It is time. Parking lot at noon.”
Michael: Somebody from New Hampshire looks at that and thinks it’s a burning cross.
Michael: There’s nothing classier than boring jazz music.
Michael: What’s better, hiring an entire quartet for half an hour or one bassist for the entire day?
Andy: My ‘brid, my hybrid, my Prius hybrid won’t fit a tree, which is ironic, considering how many trees it saves.
Andy: I do, however, have a hookup with a dude who has a pickup.
Darryl: I thought I was enough family for my daughter.
Darryl: No. Thank you for your interest in my truck.
Erin: I’ve looked her up online. There’s nothing about her. She’s made no impression on the Internet.
Meredith: What does the strangler look like? Is he gorgeous? He looks gorgeous in the drawings. That scowl.
Toby: I know people are only this excited to talk to me because of the trial. But, they talk to me for awhile, and maybe people realize, I have something to say. And then, one day, we’re just talking.
Dwight: I have no feeling in my fingers or penis. But I think it was worth it.
Jim: I was laying on the ground, defenseless, and he just kept throwing them, until he exhausted himself.
Dwight’s text to Jim: “How about icing it? Lol. Dwight”
Erin: I’m really sorry, I can’t help you. I’m waiting for my boss’ pretty friend to arrive.
Holly: Well, well, well. If it isn’t Michael Scott, you old bastard.
Jim: Okay… Holly’s back.
Holly: Oh, huggy monster!
Holly: Would you put those out?
Erin: To throw out? Or put out, like, six pieces for everyone?
Holly: It looks beautiful in here. It’s super classy. It’s like a party for limousine drivers.
Holly: Watch out for my guns, they’re both loaded.
Michael: And… you have a Woody.
Michael: You know who my favorite character in Toy Story is? Andy’s mom.
Holly: Why?
Michael: Because without Andy’s mom, there’s no plot, and without any plot, there is no movie.
Holly: A.J. said he hadn’t seen any of the Toy Story movies.
Michael: What a douchebag.
Michael: How did A.J. get in your house?
Holly: We live together.
Andy: Christmas tree, Christmas tree, won’t you be my Christmas tree?
Andy: I don’t have kids or anything, but if my grandmother ever dies, I’m going to kill myself.
Pam: You’ll be Mr. Christmas by the end of the night.
Andy: Nobody hug me, I’m covered in tree sap.
Oscar: Why would someone hug you.
Pam: Who told you that?
Michael: Nora Ephron. In every romantic comedy ever made.
Erin: I don’t get it! I’m sorry. I just, I don’t get it.
Kelly: Ultimatums are key. Basically nobody does anything for me anymore unless I threaten to kill myself.
Dwight: Yes, I have a wig for every single person in the office. You never know when you’re going to need to bear a passing resemblance to someone.
Jim: I just want it to stop.
Meredith: Maybe your senator boyfriend has a blanket in his car. For screwing Americans.
Michael: The shards of glass would’ve shaved her face off. And yes, it might have been funny. But it also would have been incredibly tragic.
Jim: What are you talking about? You’re the one terrorizing me.
Holly: I’m really surprised at you guys. Last time I was here, you were both best friends.
Michael: You know who gave me this? My girlfriend Tara, who lives in New York City.
Michael: I’m a man in my mid-40s and I still get zits. I think that’s pretty interesting.
Holly: I didn’t know you had a girlfriend.
Michael: I do. She is.
Michael: It seems to me that there is a person sitting out there in the annex who still has feelings for Michael G. Scott. And it ain’t Tara.
Kevin: Toy Story is all about toys that come to life, when people aren’t looking. You don’t think, it’s not possible, that Woody did this to himself?
Jim: Why are we discounting this whole Woody came to life thing so quickly?
Jim: Fake girlfriends are always wrong.
Kevin: Nothing is ever your fault! Just like when you ate those maple candies that you brought for us!
Erin: Is she an amazing cook or something?
Jim (reading gift tag): “Hey, Pickles, Merry Christmas. Open immediately! Love, Swiss Cheese.”
Dwight: Didn’t think your affectionate nicknames would be your undoing, did you, Jim? Let that be a lesson to you all.
Stanley: To get to go sit in an air conditioned room downtown, judging people, while my lunch is paid for. That is the life.
Andy: You must answer topical political questions. How many congressmen is the state of Pennsylvania guaranteed? And what other state has the equal number?
Darryl: And the game’s over. Seconds later.
Angela: Hey everybody, this is my boyfriend, Senator Robert Lipton.
Oscar: Robert seems great. He’s very handsome. Firm handshake. He’s gay. Good sense of humor.
Michael: I am dead inside.
Oscar: A real David and Goliath story.
Ryan: An F Train to Brooklyn. Extra bitters.
Pam: I don’t think he’s in the ceiling, babe.
Michael: I read this story about a woman who slipped on some black ice and she hit her head and went into a coma forever. And then every day, her husband went and visited her in the hospital until she died.
Michael: I can tell you confidently that it is not going to be okay.
Pam: A.J. won’t commit to Holly. And she’s going to tell him that if he doesn’t propose to her by the end of the year, it’s over.
Pam: I don’t know a lot of happy marriages that start off with an ultimatum, do you?
Dwight: I do not accept your surrender. There’s only one way that I would ever relent. You hit Pam in the face with a snowball while I watch.
Jim: You’re a psychopath.
Michael: A Hostess apple pie! This is my favorite breakfast, how did you know that?
Michael: Are you sure you don’t want a pony? You want a real horse.
Dwight: In the end, the greatest snowball isn’t a snowball at all. It’s fear. Merry Christmas.
Christmas presents exchanged
- Kevin gives Oscar UGG boots
- Phyllis gives Ryan a homemade embroidered iPad case
- Angela gives Creed a six-pack of deodorant
- Erin gives Andy a card “How to Quit Biting Your Nails”
- Jim gives Pam a bracelet
- Pam gives Jim a personalized comic book
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This is one of my favorite episodes of the season! In my top three!
@192 Jim is not a bully at all. He has never caused serious harm to Dwight. In this episode, Dwight makes Jim bleed… You should rewatch the past seasons because Jim really on gets back at Dwight for being annoying. Other than that, good episode
In Season 6′s “The Lover”, Michael calls Helene “pickle” on the phone during a conference room scene. Now Pam is calling Jim “pickles”?
Anyone else notice this?
@188Angie, thanks for reminding me! I actually saw this
episode on TV a day or two after my post and thought, “OH YEAH!”
:)
@192 – a bully? jim only pulls a prank on dwight to get even with him after dwight has done something. and considering dwight has tried to get jim fired, even after he has the baby, i would hardly call it bullying.
[from tanster: entry received]
If Holly is in Scranton then who is the HR rep in Nashua?
Logan & sdfasdf – Thank you!! NOW it makes sense. I was thinking of the long distance being while Holly was still in Nashua.
@192 – you made some great points. I’ll admit I was feeling like Dwight went too far, but it’s really payback for 6 years of abuse. Well, maybe 5 since he bugged Jim’s office with the spy pen and duck…mallard. Regardless of Jim getting snowballed recklessly, this was a great episode.
I cry every time I hear Michael say, “I show you to your desk” in a Hispanic accent. It’s my favorite line in the whole episode. So funny.
I think what Michael is talking about is how Holly is in Scranton and AJ is in Nashua.
@Carla–
Holly was transferred to Nashua in S5 because of corporate and she broke up with Michael on the drive to her new place. Now she’s transferred back to Scranton, albeit temporarily while Toby’s on jury duty, and she’s staying together with AJ, so Michael feels betrayed because she wasn’t willing to be in a long-distance relationship with him, but will do exactly that for AJ. It’s not exactly the same, of course, but Michael still feels hurt, especially since he tried to come up with some way of making it work with her and she turned him down.
I was confused by Michael’s comment to Holly about her having a long distance relationship with A.J. (when they were standing in front of the supply shelf). I thought the two of them lived together?? I watched the ep twice and still couldn’t figure it out. Can anyone explain?
@TobyFan: Thank you so much! :) My recordings get messed up all the time and I rarely get the full episode.
I was a little surprised at how far Dwight went at first but Jim’s snowball at the start and his refusal to apologise shake Dwight pretty hard. Although I don’t really agree that this was the first time Dwight actually got the chance to have the upper hand, there were moments in season 6 where Dwight was trying very hard to get rid of Jim when he was in charge and was pulling some pretty horrendous stunts, like the employee of the month thing.
Great episode, the christmas episodes always are though :) The wigs were inspired.
Does anyone know where pam’s red reindeer cardigan is from? Wife wants one really badly, I’m having no luck finding…
@192 Yet none of that really measures up to wholeheartedly(not halfheartedly like some of his previous attempts) trying to get a guy with a mortgage and his first child on the way fired from his job. Talk about hitting below the belt.
@180 That card in the teapot years ago was presumably to tell Pam how Jim felt about her (not just friendship), back when she was engaged to Roy.
Now that they are happily married, who cares? We know how Pam and Jim feel about one another.
@192 Jim is so NOT a bully. Dwight is constantly goading Jim for pure enjoyment, as well being jealous of his success in business and in his marriage with Pam.
@#192 Nah, Jim is no bully at all. I see a bully as someone who has a specific intent to harm or to be cruel and malicious, to those who are weaker or smaller than themselves. Jim would never want to actually hurt Dwight, either mentally or physically. And has proven that. I would agree he is nothing more than a prankster.
#182 said that Dwight was unjustified in snowballing Jim, “Jim is a prankster. There was really no violence in his pranks. This seemed very personal for Dwight.”
Let’s review what Jim has done to Dwight (leaving out 50 other pranks)…
Jim goaded Dwight into a fight with Michael.
Jim stabbed Dwight’s balance ball and Dwight plummeted to the floor hard.
Jim set up Dwight’s chair as a “gift” that Dwight sat on and fell.
Jim slapped Dwight HARD in the face when they were on a sales call.
Jim slapped Dwight HARD in the face TWICE in the Olympics promos.
And in “Classy Christmas”, for no reason, Jim threw a packed snowball HARD, right SMACK into Dwight’s face.
And throughout all of these physical assaults for 7 seasons, Dwight NEVER ONCE reciprocated physically against Jim.
Jim acted like a bully physically & emotionally. Dwight cowered like a victim.
In “Classy Christmas”, Dwight answers Jim’s provocative snowball in his face with his own snowballs in Jim’s face.
I don’t condone physical violence…though seeing a bully get their just due does have a certain Holiday charm about it.