The Office: Crime Aid, 5.05

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The Office Crime Aid

Writer: Charlie Grandy, Director: Jennifer Celotta

Summary (NBC): After the office gets robbed, Michael decides to hold an auction to raise money for all the items lost. Michael helps Pam get a part time job at corporate so she can afford to go to art school.

The Office Crime Aid extras

Writer Charlie Grandy answers fan questions in the Crime Aid Q&A.

The Office Crime Aid rating

In a poll conducted Oct. 23-27, Tallyheads rated this episode: 8.35/10

See all The Office Season 5 ratings.

The Office Crime Aid quotes

Michael: Pam-oh-laaaaaa!

Holly: I’m free tonight. Is that too eager? I don’t care. I’m free tonight.

Michael: Tonight’s no good. Because I am busy taking you out.

Michael: If she starts having sex with me, I’ll know for sure.

Andy: I am right in assuming that Dwight is short for D-Money.

Dwight: You set a date?

Phyllis: You’re making a knife with a knife?

Dwight: I know none of that. And if I did, you’d be the last to know.

Holly: Hell, yeah.

Michael: Probably get soup. Or something light.

Dwight: She introduced me to so many things. Pasteurized milk. Sheets. Monotheism. Presents on your birthday. Preventative medicine.

Dwight: Why is she marrying Andy?

Phyllis: Angela’s not really a risk taker. And Andy’s not really a risk.

Dwight: That’s really fattening.

Holly: Oh, after vous.
Michael: Thank vous.

Michael: Now they can’t hear us at all.

Angela: I need to cancel checks from 10,001 to 90,000.

Kevin: Yeah, well, they stole my surge protector. I’m now going to be prone to surges.

Dwight: Bravo, Watson.

Dwight: Looks like a classic seven-man job.

Dwight: Motives — financial, or possibly vintage HP computer collectors.

Michael: So much for sex without consequences.

Jim: The future mother of my children.

Andy: You’re always safe with me. I’m a very good screamer.

Creed: The last person to do this disappeared. His name? Creed Bratton.

Michael: It’s like Farm Aid. But instead of farms fighting against AIDS, it is us fighting against our own poverty.

Jim: Do you need us for any of this?

Holly: The boss scored The Boss.

Holly: He knows how to get things. He got me.

Dwight: Or you can say goodbye to this.

Dwight: You have until 6:14 pm.

Michael: Crime Reduces Innocence. Makes Everybody Angry. I Declare.

Michael: There is no Wikipedia entry for office robbery statistics.

Michael: Lights, camera, auction!

Darryl: And my personal favorite, Short People.

Michael: It squeaks when you bang it. That’s what she said.

Michael: It just says Creed.
Creed: Yeah, that’s all-inclusive.

Kevin: Federal and state.

Michael: I would appreciate it if people would stop storming off the stage.

Dwight: Okay, fine, I’ve moved on. Now how do I get her back?

Dwight: And you slap like a girl.

Jim: She’s engaged, um … to me.

Roy: I thought you were a friend.

Dwight: Three hundred … and one penny.

Jim: I’m not that guy. And we are not that couple.

Holly: A lot of Michael seems too good to be true. So far, it’s all true.

David: No. I did not know Michael was dating Holly.

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