The Office: Did I Stutter?, 4.16

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The Office Did I Stutter

Writers: Brent Forrester and Justin Spitzer
Director: Randall Einhorn

Summary (NBC): Stanley snaps at Michael during a meeting. Dwight decides to buy Andy’s car. Pam deals with an unexpected inconvenience after spending the night at Jim’s.

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The Office Did I Stutter quotes

Michael: Some idiot named Mark Greg Sputnik will claim credit for it.

Jim: If you were a real star, you’d put your face in it.

Dwight: Force it in as deep as you can.
Michael: That’s what she said.

Michael: I can come back here, when I’m 100, and I can find that piece of cement and say “That’s me. Look kids, your daddy left that face hole.”

Angela: It’s a man eating cat food!

Dwight: Andy and Angela seem very happy. I hope nothing horrible ever happens to them.

Michael: Pam … those make you look so ugly.

Michael: It’s just noise coming out of an ugly scientist.

Pam: If you propose to me during the Michael meeting, I will say no.

Michael: Pam clearly has just given up trying.

Michael: Zing and pep, those are the kind of words we’re looking for.

Stanley: Did I stutter?

Michael: What are you blabbering about? Nothing happened.

Michael: Stanley is a beautiful, sassy, powerful, black man, and you’re … you.

Michael: “Hey, um, you’re poor.” “Well hey, your mama’s dead.” That’s what friends do.

Michael: You’re so white.

Toby: Sometimes my daughter’s stomach hurts when there’s a mean girl at school.

Dwight: This car is crap. I will buy it for next to nothing.

Dwight: It will be towed by a donkey.

Dwight: Five, four, three, two, now. Now, now, now!

Stanley: I do not apologize unless I think I’m wrong.

Dwight: Do it. Give. Me. Control.

Kevin: Could you just say “These are due back Thursday.”

Creed: A lot of jazz cats are blind. But they can play the piano like nobody’s business. I’d like to put the piano in front of Pam, without her glasses, and see what happens. I’d also like to see her topless.

Michael: Have you ever been in a gang?

Darryl: The Latin Kings. The Warriors. Newsies.

Darryl: In the gang world, we use something called Fluffy Fingers.

Darryl: Y’all just go to church together and get an ice cream cone.

Ryan: How do you live with a franchise this bad?

Ryan: I always appreciate constructive criticism about my job performance. I thrive on it.

Andy: You’re flipping my car for profit.

Dwight: “A stupid idiotic numbskull named Andy Bernard sold his XTerra to a smart and capable man named Dwight. This is shaping up to be an awesome day for Dwight.”

Michael: I am serious. We are all serious. You are fired like a heart attack.

Stanley: You are out of your damn little pea-sized mind.

Kevin: It’s Michael versus Stanley, and it is the Clash of the Titans.

Michael: Why don’t they just make the plane out of the airline food?

Michael: Take her, please, for example.

Michael: What’s the deal with Grape Nuts? No grapes, no nuts.

Michael: Everybody out except Phyllis.

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