The Office: Email Surveillance, 2.09

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The Office: Email Surveillance

Writer: Jennifer Celotta, Director: Paul Feig

Summary: Michael sets up spying on his staff’s emails, which leads him to show up to Jim’s BBQ uninvited after his improv class. Pam does a little snooping of her own into a possible romance between Dwight and Angela.

The Office Email Surveillance extras

The Office Email Surveillance quotes

Kevin: Michael, should I call the (Michael gestures maniacally to be quiet) … what?

IT Guy: What’s your password, Michael?
Michael: Um …
IT Guy (looking at post-it on Michael’s computer): Oh, 1-2-3-4.
Michael: Yes.

Dwight: You could get a brain aneurism.
Michael: I’m not going to get a brain aneurism.
Dwight: Or hit by a car. Or a bus. Or a train. Or get poisoned. Fall down a well. Step on a mine. Choke.

Michael: Try “profits.” No, try “Michael Scott.” “Michael,” “boss,” and…”funny.”

Michael: Oil can. Oil can.

Michael: You know what the problem is?
Stanley: I think I do.

Michael: The problem is that when people hear the term “Big Brother,” they immediately think it’s scary or bad. But I don’t. I think, “Wow, I love my Big Brother.”

Kevin: I gotta erase a lot of stuff. A LOT … OF STUFF.

Pam: It’s like squishing a spider under a book. It’s gonna be really gross, but I have to look and make sure that it’s really dead.

Pam: Hey, Dwight? Um, my friend is kind of into these two girls that he works with.
Dwight: Nice.
Pam: One is tall and brunette. And the other one is short and blond and perky and kind of judgmental. Who do you think he should choose?
Dwight: Does he have access to their medical records?

Dwight: There are a huge number of yeast infections in this county. Probably because we’re down river from that old bread factory.

Michael: Wonder where my Evite-tation is.

Michael: But maybe I need to be even approachabler.

Michael: Hangin’ with my crew. Crew that I am one of. Hanging with my Cup of Noodles. This is a meal in a cup, right here. Hot, tasty. Reminds me of college. Lived on this stuff. Brain food.

Jim: It’s true. I’m having a party. I’ve got three cases of imported beer, karaoke machine, and … I didn’t invite Michael. So … three ingredients for a great party. And it’s nothing personal, I just think that if he were there, people wouldn’t be able to relax and you know, have fun. And my roommate wants to meet everybody. Because … I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m making Dwight up. He is very real.

Jim: So Dwight thinks that tonight is a surprise party for Michael.
Pam: Really? That’s great. Maybe we can get him to hide and wait somewhere.

Michael: What?
Jim: I think Stanley just coughed.

Michael: Hey, Pam. Do you need me to walk you to your vehicular transport?
Pam: No thanks.

Dwight: I have to go to practice. Soccer practice.
Michael: I didn’t know you played soccer, Dwight.
Dwight: Clarinet.
Michael: You too, Dwight?

Dwight: Jim, do you really think this is a good idea? Huh? A “hide a key” rock?
Mark: Hey, you must be Dwight.

Mark: Hey, I love the Birkenstocks.

Michael: What is the most exciting thing that can happen on TV or in movies or in real life? Somebody has a gun. That’s why I always start with a gun, because you can’t top it. You, you just can’t.

Michael: Detective Michael Scarn. I’m with the FBI!

Improv instructor: Michael, I want you to give me all the guns you have.

Jim: Um, you know what? Let’s just leave that image out of it. Because this is a happy place. Happy thoughts, Pam. Happy thoughts.

Pam: You were so dorky!

Jim: Chicken, hot dog, burger.
Angela: I’m a vegetarian.
Jim: There’s soda inside.

Angela: Um, I think it’s alright. I mean, Jesus drank wine.

Kevin (slapping Ryan’s hand away from the grill): Not so fast, Fire Guy.

Michael: Nice job, Bill. Not.

Phyllis: Here I go again on my own. Going down the only road I’ve ever known.

Pam: Just because two people are hanging out, it doesn’t mean that they’re together … you know? Like people can just be friends. And I think that it was really unfair of us to assume that there was anything else going on.

Michael: Who opened the morgue for this thing?

Michael: He is a good guy. Not a terrorist.

Michael and Jim (singing): Islands in the stream, that is what we are …

Deleted scenes

IT Guy: Do you have a question or something? About my turban, maybe?
Michael: Nope. No. I actually wear a turban sometimes. Wanna see it? (Puts on turban.)
IT Guy: Why do you have that?
Michael: Comedy. It’s funny. It’s Johnny Carson, Karnac. It’s um … did you have Johnny Carson in your land?
IT Guy: In Pittsburgh? Yeah, but I never really watched him.
Michael: Oh. You were forbidden.
IT Guy: No … I just am younger than you. I watched Conan.

Kevin: Hey Fire Guy, maybe we should burn Jim’s house down.
Ryan: That’s really funny.
Kevin: Hey Kelly, I called him Fire Guy.
Kelly: Good one, Kev.
Kevin: Hey Stanley.
Ryan: He called me Fire Guy.
Stanley: Oh … good one.
Kevin: Oh … never gets old.
Ryan (shaking head): Never gets old.

19 comments

  1. Dwight was awesome in this episode, also a lot of good Jim/Pam moments. My favorite part is when after lying to Michael, Dwight goes up to the camera and says “He has no idea” with a huge grin.

  2. “I’m not even in the scene!”

    Great episode. Love the BBQ. One of my favorite eps. I also like how the cameraman points out the angela dwight thing to pam, brilliant!

  3. One of my favourite episodes! I just love the awkward tension between Michael and Jim when Michael is trying to get himself invited to Jim’s BBQ.

  4. The “et tu, Dwight?” line comes in when Dwight is telling Michael that he can’t hang out with him because he has soccer practice. It kind of sounds like “you too, Dwight?”

  5. I am looking forward to seeing this episode again (as if I haven’t already watched it about 10 times). I love the part where Dwight eating the candy bar is brought to Pam’s attention by the cameraman. I would like to read everything on Jim’s bulletin board in his bedroom. And there is some kind of picture that shows the sun(?) divided by a bunch of other things equals life. Does anyone know what that is all about?

  6. The “et tu, Dwight” was one of my favorite quotes of the episode. I was wondering why the quote wasn’t included in the list above. Should have been “more clearer”.

  7. Thanks guys. I’ll beef up the quotes section next week when Email Surveillance re-airs.

  8. Elisabeth, this is actually in the episode itself. Angela says this to Dwight out on the patio at Jim’s BBQ. It’s kind of in the background, so you have to listen very carefully. :)

  9. This is it, after Thursday, I will be officially caught up. I started tuning in around Halloween and didn’t really get hooked for a few weeks, so I missed a bunch of episodes. The marathon a few weeks ago was great, because I hadn’t seen any of those. Now E-mail surveillance will bring me full circle. So many things made more sense after The Fire — Dwight’s hatred for Ryan, Jim and the hot girl. I think this will be the same way, because I never knew how Pam figured out Dwangela. And the youtube clips of Pam in Jim’s bedroom blew my mind because it made no sense to me.

  10. This is it, after Thursday, I will be officially caught up.

    Congratulations, Brian!

    Now you’ll have to start from the beginning and watch every episode again. And again. And again. ;)

  11. Does anyone know if Mark has a girlfriend and if so, what her name is?

    I need it for something.. and I forgot..

  12. Hey! I just was watching this episode on the DVD’s, and discovered that Michael was bragging about loving college parties when he was in college. This happens while they’re eating lunch, and Michael has the cup-o-noodles.

    Anyway, Didn’t the fact that Michael DIDN’T go to college come out in “The Fire”? I thought Dwight points this out when he’s trying to compare Michael to Ryan.

    Anyone?

  13. Trevor, I caught that too, but I think that maybe in the Fire they meant business/grad school not undergrad.

  14. Pam saves Michael in The Dundies. Jim saves Michael in Email Surveillance. Yeah, they’re probably meant to be together.

    Another sweet episode.

  15. The song playing is By the Skin Of My Yellow Country Teeth, by Clap Your Hands Say Yeah.

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