The Office: Free Family Portrait Studio, 8.24

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Writer: B.J. Novak, Director: B.J. Novak

Summary (NBC): Dwight offers free family portraits for the office — a stolen diaper leads to a high-speed car chase. With a little help from an old boss, Andy goes undercover as a janitor and stages a takeover. And a new business opportunity arises for Robert California. Guest stars: James Spader, Catherine Tate.

The Office Free Family Portrait Studio extras

The Office Free Family Portrait Studio rating

In a poll conducted May 10-14, 2012, Tallyheads rated this episode: 6.79/10

See all The Office Season 8 ratings.

The Office Free Family Portrait Studio quotes

Oscar: I’m here to tell you that, yes, it does get better.

Kelly: Webcams make me look the way I look in my fantasies.

Robert: Sexuality is a spectrum.

Oscar: It gets better. Maybe not much better. But better.

Dwight: What’s even more precious to people than muffins? Their own children.

Darryl: You mean to tell me that no one wanted an energy drink for Asian homosexuals?

Darryl: What flavor is that?
Hide: Coconut penis.
Darryl: The coconut is pretty subtle.

Darryl: I would date the hell out of me.

Darryl: I would go crazy on myself.

Gabe: Oh how the mediocre have fallen.

Andy: I have a delicious secret.

Creed: This carpet’s overdue for a good mopping.

Andy: I convinced David Wallace to buy Dunder Mifflin back from Sabre.

Erin: Okay, you’re going to go through the hallway. Here’s a map.

Angela: The senator is the only man I’ve ever been with.

Andy: It’s go time.

Erin: After you’re manager, some of these images are going to be hard to shake.

Erin: Just calibrate.

Dwight: He defecated.

Darryl: Good slam.
Brandon: Thank you, Biggie.

Angela: No! Dwight! Give me the diaper!

Nellie: Oh get out, Skeleton Man!

Toby: Do you see David Wallace in the room right now?

Dwight: Operation Phoenix is a go.

Ryan’s sign: Kelly, I know you are with someone but I love you. I will wait forever.

Robert: This is the worst thing I have ever seen.

Robert: Why’d they add coconut? I miss original.

Andy: From janitor to manager? It’s quite a Cinderella story.

Andy: From total loss, to total boss.

Robert: I’m Bob. Bob Kazamakis.

Andy: Looks like I might get my delicious moment after all.

Nellie: The quality of mercy is not strained. It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven, upon the place beneath.

Andy: How dare you play the bard card.

Andy: All right, you sly bastard. When can you start?

Ryan’s sign: Missed connection — Caffeine Corner — you were blonde w/a hat? I work at Dunder Mifflin. Hope to see you again.

Robert: I want to see these girls right through college. Especially the gymnasts.

Senator Lipton: You know what this is about. Call.

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