The Office: Free Family Portrait Studio, 8.24

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Writer: B.J. Novak, Director: B.J. Novak

Summary (NBC): Dwight offers free family portraits for the office — a stolen diaper leads to a high-speed car chase. With a little help from an old boss, Andy goes undercover as a janitor and stages a takeover. And a new business opportunity arises for Robert California. Guest stars: James Spader, Catherine Tate.

The Office Free Family Portrait Studio extras

The Office Free Family Portrait Studio rating

In a poll conducted May 10-14, 2012, Tallyheads rated this episode: 6.79/10

See all The Office Season 8 ratings.

The Office Free Family Portrait Studio quotes

Oscar: I’m here to tell you that, yes, it does get better.

Kelly: Webcams make me look the way I look in my fantasies.

Robert: Sexuality is a spectrum.

Oscar: It gets better. Maybe not much better. But better.

Dwight: What’s even more precious to people than muffins? Their own children.

Darryl: You mean to tell me that no one wanted an energy drink for Asian homosexuals?

Darryl: What flavor is that?
Hide: Coconut penis.
Darryl: The coconut is pretty subtle.

Darryl: I would date the hell out of me.

Darryl: I would go crazy on myself.

Gabe: Oh how the mediocre have fallen.

Andy: I have a delicious secret.

Creed: This carpet’s overdue for a good mopping.

Andy: I convinced David Wallace to buy Dunder Mifflin back from Sabre.

Erin: Okay, you’re going to go through the hallway. Here’s a map.

Angela: The senator is the only man I’ve ever been with.

Andy: It’s go time.

Erin: After you’re manager, some of these images are going to be hard to shake.

Erin: Just calibrate.

Dwight: He defecated.

Darryl: Good slam.
Brandon: Thank you, Biggie.

Angela: No! Dwight! Give me the diaper!

Nellie: Oh get out, Skeleton Man!

Toby: Do you see David Wallace in the room right now?

Dwight: Operation Phoenix is a go.

Ryan’s sign: Kelly, I know you are with someone but I love you. I will wait forever.

Robert: This is the worst thing I have ever seen.

Robert: Why’d they add coconut? I miss original.

Andy: From janitor to manager? It’s quite a Cinderella story.

Andy: From total loss, to total boss.

Robert: I’m Bob. Bob Kazamakis.

Andy: Looks like I might get my delicious moment after all.

Nellie: The quality of mercy is not strained. It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven, upon the place beneath.

Andy: How dare you play the bard card.

Andy: All right, you sly bastard. When can you start?

Ryan’s sign: Missed connection — Caffeine Corner — you were blonde w/a hat? I work at Dunder Mifflin. Hope to see you again.

Robert: I want to see these girls right through college. Especially the gymnasts.

Senator Lipton: You know what this is about. Call.

Icon provided by pessimistreader.


  1. I’m wondering who the old boss could be? Could it be Michael Scott is going to make a little cameo? Could this be something they were hiding from us?

    I guess we will just have to wait. Haha

  2. …diaper? car chase?
    Apart from that ridiculous storyline, I’m gonna keep my hopes for this episode high! I loved Angry Andy, and even though this “takeover” plot sounds ridiculous, I think it sounds awesome, so I’ll leave it be

    and no, I very much doubt that this is Michael Scott…NBC would hype this to no end, so I’m going to guess Jim or Dwight? But Jim seems too level-headed for a crackpot janitor plot, and Dwight helping someone else become manager is completely anti-Dwight, so this is a tough one…Pretty great hook by the writers, actually.

  3. Hoping it is indeed Michael Gary Scott, but it might be a character we’ve never seen or heard of before.

    Alternatives are Jo Bennett, Josh Porter, Jan Levinson, David Wallace, Charles Miner, or Deangelo Vickers.

    I am still waiting to see the debut of Broccoli Rob.

  4. I will keep my theory to myself as to not spoil anything. This sure is a far cry from the days when we were waiting for Jim to propose.

  5. I’m guessing the old boss will be Jo. I don’t think it is Michael although I’ll have my fingers crossed.

  6. OR the boss could Andy’s boss when he worked at Abercombie? I can’t remember exactly which episode he referenced that from.

  7. Don’t forget that Creed was also Andy’s acting boss for a short time…

    I think that this is how Dwight gets the DNA sample to prove that the baby is his! Through a used diaper…

  8. @threatlevelmiddwight: “But Jim seems too level-headed for a crackpot janitor plot…” You sure about that? Jim went along with a crackpot warehouse worker plan. Not immensely different.

    And I doubt very much it’ll be Michael. It’ll be some random, one-off character.

  9. I’m surprised to see the coup d’etat Andy is gonna stage around the office. And as for the old boss, I hope that’s one who’s been the perfect boss for everybody. Could be Josh, Andy’s former boss in Stanford (I don’t know), or Michael (I’m not sure), or Jo (I don’t think so), or David (hell yeah). Screw Charles, or Jan.

  10. Given how spoilerish the last few advance episode summaries have been, I think we would already know if the “old boss” were Michael. Fingers crossed though! That would be fantastic!

  11. Believe it or not, NBC has hid surprise guest stars before… does nobody watch SNL? Most non-hosting guests are surprises. I think Diane’s appearances in “Frasier” were sometimes surprises too, so… we’ll see. Of course, it could be from any number of the previous companies he’s mentioned, although I doubt it’s Jo. Remember, she’s a friend of Nellie’s – why is she involved in a coup of Nellie? Deangelo’s in a coma, and Dwight is a little preoccupied in this ep, Jim will probably be getting a family portrait with Pam, CeCe, and Phillip, which leaves Michael, Jan, David, Charles, Creed, Josh, or someone new. Hmmm… too bad I have to miss this ep, I’ll be driving back to my home from NYC at about that time. Typical.

  12. Well, I think we can rule out Creed haha. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if it was Josh Porter though. It’d be nice if Michael came back for this episode though. The Office hasn’t had a good season finale in a couple years now.

  13. here’s my far off theory… in “turf war” the summary says that Robert Shuts down another branch of the company… utica? It says with a former boss, not necessarily andy’s former boss, and i feel we might be lucky enough to see karen return and help andy get revenge on robert!

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