The Office: Fun Run, 4.01-02

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The Office Fun Run

Writer: Greg Daniels, Director: Greg Daniels

Summary (NBC): A freak accident causes Michael to feel the office is cursed. He decides to hold a charity 5K fun run. Further developments in the romances of Pam and Jim, and Dwight and Angela, are explored. One-hour episode.

The Office Fun Run extras

Tipster: Andrea

The Office Fun Run rating

8.41/10

See all The Office Season 4 ratings.

The Office Fun Run quotes

Michael: I did not get the job in New York. But I got the real prize — domestic bliss.

Jim: I’m single now and looking. So if you know anybody …

Pam: It’s really nice to be good friends again.

Kevin: Are you kidding me? Pam and Jim are totally hooking up. All they do is smile.

Oscar: There is no evidence of intimacy.

Michael: The doctors tried to save her life. They did the best that they could. And she is going to be okay.

Stanley: What is wrong with you? Why did you have to phrase it like that?

Michael: She has a slight pelvical fracture.

Michael: I was able to be on the scene so quickly because I was in the car that hit her.

Jim: One day Michael came in complaining about a speed bump on the highway. I wonder who he ran over then.

Michael: It’s only Meredith. Thank god.

Dwight: Is this downsizing? Did she spurn your advances?

Kevin: Who’s “we”? You and Jim?

Angela: No one asks about Sprinkles.

Angela: There’s bad blood. Jealousies, cliques.

Michael: So Ryan got promoted to Corporate. Where he is a little fish in a big pond. Whereas back here in Scranton, I am still top dog in a fairly large pond. So who is the real boss? The dog or a fish?

Ryan: I don’t think you understand how jeopardy works.
Michael: Oh, right, I’m sorry. What is, “we’re fine”?

Ryan: People keep calling me a “wunderkind.” I don’t even know what that means. I mean, I know what it means. It means, very successful for your age. So I guess it makes sense, but, it’s a weird word.

Angela: I have to visit the alkie.
Dwight: Check to see if she’s faking. If a car hit me, it wouldn’t crack my pelvis. You know what. I bet she cracked it at home. Jumped in front of the car to get some worker’s comp.
Angela: I wouldn’t put it past her.

Angela: There’s a fungal cream, because she has this infection under her tail.

Michael: I love my employees. Even though I hit one of you with my car.

Michael: Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I don’t know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally, I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me. No, don’t sue me. That’s the opposite of the point that I’m trying to make.

Michael: I hate hospitals. In my mind, they are associated with sickness.

Meredith: It was really great of all of you to come and visit me at the same time. I’ll see you guys at the office.

Michael: You know what I was thinking might be sort of fun? Is if you forgave me in front of everybody.

Michael: You know what they say in the bible about forgiveness? Forgiveness … is next to godliness.

Meredith: You cracked my pelvis.

Michael: Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it’s not like this compulsive need to be liked. Like my need to be praised.

Angela: Any problems?
Dwight: Well you left the TV on. And your cat is dead.

Dwight: She’s in a better place. Actually, the place that she’s in is the freezer. Because of the odor.

Michael: I’ll tell you what’s going on. This office is cursed.

Michael: It is up to me to get rid of the curse that hit Meredith with my car. I’m not superstitious, but, I’m a little stitious.

Michael: Did anyone do anything involving an Indian burial ground?
Oscar: Like what?
Michael: Like park on it.

Michael: So our tragedy is your good luck. Satan.

Dwight: Cats do not provide milk or wool or meat.

Michael: I think you should go to the hospital and pay your respects.
Dwight: I do not respect her, but I will go.

Michael: Thanks for the permission. Psych!

Phyllis: I’m a Lutheran, and Bob is a Unitarian. It keeps things spicy.
Angela: That’s why we’re cursed.

Creed: I’ve been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower. But you make more money as a leader.

Michael: Kelly, you are Hindu, so you believe in Buddha.
Kelly: That’s Buddhists.
Michael: Are you sure?
Kelly: No.

IT Tech Guy: If you’re going to reduce my identity to my religion, then I’m Sikh. But I also like hip-hop and NPR, and I’m restoring a 1967 Corvette in my spare time.

Dwight: With the electricity we’re using to keep Meredith alive, we could power a small fan for two days. You tell me what’s unethical.

Dwight: Are you a doctor or a male nurse?

Dwight: Her chart doesn’t indicate that she had a hysterectomy, but she did, or at least, she got time off for one.
Intern: So that is where her uterus went.

Kelly: If there was a god, then Ryan and I would be married by now.

Michael: Maybe there’s some sort of animal that we could make a sacrifice to. Like … a giant buffalo. Or some sort of monster, like something with the body of a walrus with the head of a sea lion. Something with a body of an egret, with the head of a meerkat. Or just the head of a monkey, with the antlers of a reindeer. With the body of a … porcupine.

Jim: Six of one, really.

Michael: Is there a god? If not, what are all these churches for? And who is Jesus’ dad?

Kevin: Oh well. If they aren’t together now, then they probably never will be. I thought they’d be good together. Like PB & J. Pam Beesly and Jim. What a waste. What. A. Waste.

Michael: A woman shouldn’t have to be hit by a car to learn that she may have rabies.

Michael: Hi Stankley, how many sponsors so far?
Stanley: Zero.

Michael: Phyllis, how is the rabies quilt coming?

Michael: I know that you’re probably scared of people seeing your fat legs in shorts.

Michael: It is not olden times anymore.

Andy: I’m petrified of nipple chafing. Once it starts, it is a vicious circle.

Angela: This is Sprinkles. She was my best friend.

Angela: This is Halloween last year. Just a couple of kittens, out on the town.

Angela: I’m having relationship problems. And since you’re always having relationship problems, I thought you’d be able to give me some advice.

Angela: I have this crazy thought, that I know is crazy, that maybe Dwight killed my cat.

Angela: When I got home, Sprinkles’ body was in the freezer, where Dwight said he left her, but all my bags of frozen french fries had been clawed to shreds!

Angela: Did Roy ever kill one of your cats?
Pam: I’m more of a dog person.

Jim: So what’s your strategy for this race?
Pam: Well, I’m going to start fast. Then I’m going to run fast in the middle. Then I’m going to end fast.
Jim: Why won’t more people do that?
Pam: ‘Cause they’re stupid.

Pam: Yeah, I gave him a ride home because … we’re dating.
Jim: Wow. There it is.
Pam: Yeah. We haven’t told anybody, but it’s going really great. Right?
Jim: It is going really great.

Dwight: You’re taking this out on me, but I was only the messenger.

Dwight: You’ll feel better after the 5K. Exercise is good for depression.

Michael: I always imagined it with a giant check.
Jim: Yeah, I mean personally, I am definitely on board with the giant check.
Pam: Giant check it is.
Dwight: I don’t know. On the other hand, it does leave less money for bat birth control.

Pam: There is no such thing as a rabies doctor.

Michael: Have you met that kid? Not going to college.

Pam: Michael, 5K means five kilometers, not five thousand miles.

Pam: So I closed the door, but the image of his …
Jim: Baguette.
Pam: … dangling participle …
Jim: Ooh.
Pam: … still burned in my eyes.

Pam: On average, how many hours a day do you spend naked in your office?

Pam: I didn’t see where it started, but I saw where it ended.
Jim: Gross.

Pam: They say if you’re nervous around someone, you should picture them naked. I do not recommend this strategy. Try picturing them with more clothes on. Or a funny coat.

Jim: Oh, I’m sorry. Is this a working office? And not a French beach?

Jan: Look, I don’t know what your deal is. But he’s mine, okay? So hands off.

Michael: Myth: Three Americans every year die from rabies. Fact: Four Americans every year die from rabies.

Michael: It is truly the silent killer. No, it is the foaming barking killer.

Michael: He’s happy because he’s insane.

Michael: I would like you to accept this check for $340 made out to “Science.”

Michael: I’m fast. I’m very fast. I’m like Forrest Gump. Except, I am not an idiot.

Andy: The key is drafting, to eliminate wind resistance.

Michael: Rabies victims have to live with an irrational hatred of water their entire lives.

Michael: That fettuccini is hitting my stomach like a rock.

Michael: Wait, Imodium or Ex-lax?

Pam: You have reached the offices of Dunder Mifflin Scranton. Currently the entire staff is out doing the Michael Scott D.M.S.M.P.M.C. Rabies Awareness Pro-Am Fun Run Race.
Michael: For The Cure.
Pam: Leave a message.

Michael: Oh, alfredo sauce. I’m getting a stitch.

Dwight: I’m robbing her! It’s nothing!

Angela: Cat heaven is a beautiful place. But you don’t get there if you’re euthanized!

Michael: Take bat bites seriously. Don’t get bit.

Dwight: Or we can have her buried out at the east field. By mother.

Toby: And the winner is Toby Flenderson!
Kelly: Have a seat. I’ll write it down.
Toby: Where are we?
Kelly: I don’t know. Like five kilometers from the office.
Toby: He couldn’t have made it a circle?

Pam: I know you, Michael. I saw you naked.
Michael: You don’t know me. You’ve just seen my penis.

Michael: I ate more fettuccini alfredo and drank less water than I have in my entire life.

Michael: Today I had a triumph of the human body.

Michael: While I eventually puked my guts out, I never puked my heart out. And I’m very, very proud of that.

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