The Office: Gettysburg, 8.08

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The Office: Gettysburg

Writer: Robert Padnick, Director: Jeffrey Blitz

Summary (NBC): Andy decides to motivate and inspire everyone by taking them on a field trip to Gettysburg. Some people in the office stay behind and Robert California asks them to come up with Dunder Mifflin/Sabre’s next big idea. Guest star: Lindsey Broad.

The Office Gettysburg extras

The Office Gettysburg rating

In a poll conducted November 17-21, 2011, Tallyheads rated this episode: 5.55/10

See all The Office Season 8 ratings.

The Office Gettysburg quotes

Kelly: Oh my god, kill me.

Pam: I’m going into labor!

Ryan: Okay, three reasons you are wrong about True Blood.

Andy: Man! Business is war!

Andy: Today, I’m turning the inspire-factor up to 10. With a little help from my friend, America’s Bloodiest Battle.

Andy: Is anyone kosher or halal?

Dwight: Guess I’m a sucker for historical fiction.

Darryl: You know I just got Limitless on my iPad, I bet I could get it on the TV.

Andy: If we were going to visit Bradley Cooper’s birthplace, I’d be the first one suggesting it. I’d be rooting for it.

Pam: I can’t get a fire pit. I have two babies.

Ryan: Robert, you got your sheep, and you got your black sheep, and I’m not even a sheep. I’m on the freaking moon.

Robert: Brainstorm some innovations. Don’t be afraid to get weird with it.

Andy: We’re here. Limitless can wait.

Darryl: I got Source Code on the way back.

Jim: No, of course we’re not tourists. We’re just people that aren’t from here taking a tour.

Andy: After Chancellorsville, Lee brought his army up the Shenandoah Valley right through here! They stopped in this field for a picnic. Which they called lunch.

Dwight: When you’re talking about DPA — that’s deaths per acre — nothing beats the Battle of Schrute Farms.

Erin: DPA sounds way more important than total deaths.

Dwight: It makes the Battle of Gettysburg sound like a bunch of schoolgirls wrestling over a hairbrush.

Oscar: Why don’t you tell us the real history, Gore Vidal.

Dwight: Big, mad props to Gettysburg.

Robert: I am so eager to hear your game changers.

Ryan: Raw fish. The disgusting food from Japan that Americans would never want to eat.

Ryan: From movie stars to construction workers, sushi is what’s for dinner.

Ryan: Origami. It’s the sushi of paper.

Stanley: Papyr. Paper for Women. It’s pink, scented, and silky soft.

Oscar: I apologize for my friend and for the Republicans who are cutting your funding.

Gabe: Hello, I’m Abraham Lincoln. Some people call me The Great Emancipator, but you might know me from the penny.

Pam: At this point, when you’re this pregnant, it’s kind of like senior spring. The other day, I spit my gum out on the carpet.

Kevin: The real best spot is D4. That’s where the eyes go.

Ryan: Okay, we are now on a planet where Kevin is the most creative person around, and I am just some good-looking guy.

Robert: So what is Dunder Mifflin’s oatmeal cookie?

Erin: Hunger for chicken chimichangas! Right, Darryl?
Darryl: That’s good.

Andy: Colonel Harrison Jeffords of the Fourth Michigan Infantry saw his flag being carried away. Chased it down with nothing but a sword.

Andy: Spangler Spring is a mile this way.

Phyllis: All I had for breakfast was oatmeal, yogurt, coffee, orange juice, and toast. Two poached eggs, and then half a sandwich on the bus.

Robert: And why is Black Rock suddenly the paragon by which all hedge funds must now be compared?

Kevin: Yes. I am an accountant.

Soldier’s letter: “It is three months since I arrived at Schrute Farms and I fear I may never leave this place alive. Melvin Fifer Garris.”

Amanda Fields-Shad: I like to think of Schrute Farm as the Underground Railroad for the sensitive and, well, fabulous.

Kevin: Never trust a cookie with a woman’s name. Pecan Sandy. Lorna Doone. Madeleine. They’ll just break your heart.

Kevin: Every time you buy a Big Mac, you set one ingredient aside. Then, at the end of the week, you have a free Big Mac. And you love it even more because you made it with your own hands.

Darryl: Phyllis is sitting on the ground, eating a dirty sandwich.

Jim: Sorry everybody else didn’t come. I think they’re just tired. With holes in their shoes. And they have dysentary.

Andy: Our office has a disease. And it goes by many names. Sarcasm. Snark. Wisecracks.

Jim: I’ve been getting weird looks all day because I’m pretty sure “DM does GB” means something kind of sexual.

Gabe (as Abraham Lincoln): I need her like I need a hole in the head.

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