The Office: Mafia, 6.06

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The Office

Writer: Brent Forrester, Director: Dave Rogers

Summary (NBC): Michael meets with an insurance salesman that visits the office and is later convinced by Dwight and Andy that he is part of the mafia. Erin accidentally ruins Pam’s painting.

The Office Mafia rating

In a poll conducted October 15-19, Tallyheads rated this episode: 6.67/10

See all The Office Season 6 ratings.

The Office Mafia quotes

Meredith: I caught my son taking a dump on the upper part of the toilet. He calls it an upper-decker.

Michael: What you people don’t know about business, I could fill a book with.

Michael: Over one billion sold. More than the Bible. I’m not surprised.

Michael: Do you know how creative space works?

Michael: Push “free play” til tomorrow morning.

Michael: Come in the conference room and I will show you a finished sausage.

Michael: It’s like a great basketball player having to listen to a bad basketball player.

Kevin: I started borrowing his office to fart in.

Dwight: I knew it. More trunk space. Or should I say, corpse space.

Oscar: Hey guys, I drive a SUV, does that mean I’m in the mob?

Michael: He did talk about a fire in the warehouse. And he also vaguely threatened me with testicular cancer.

Oscar: There’s not the usual balance between sane and others.

Oscar: The coalition for reason is extremely weak.

Oscar: What mobster would change his name from Gotti to Grotti?

Dwight: “R” is among the most menacing of sounds. That’s why they call it murder, not muckduck.

Michael: Too many different words coming at me from too many different sentences.

Dwight: Criminals are like raccoons. You give them a taste of cat food, pretty soon they’ll be back for the whole cat.

Andy: My plan is out. We do it the hard way.

Andy: So I’m a mechanic with a tire thing.

Dwight: Nothing behind the toilet except this roach motel.

Dwight: You’ll never kill it that way. You want to separate the head from the thorax.

Kevin: I think that we should let the criminals use the card a little longer.

Grotti: If the sauce does not come on the side, I will send it back.

Michael: I will have the gabba-gool.

Michael: If the salad is on top, I send it back.

Kevin: I wouldn’t last in jail, Oscar. I’m not like you.

Kevin: Oh, you don’t know about jail? Oh you would LOVE jail.

Kid: He seems bad at this.

Andy: You got a leaky spark tube. So your car’s totaled.

Grotti: These guys gonna take care of your things if you die tomorrow?
Dwight: Yes.

Michael: It’s just the cost of a cup of coffee an hour.

Andy: You were man enough to back down, Michael. I’m proud of you.

Dwight: Do you know what “snap decision” means?

Jim: How did you get this number? Michael, we’re on a catamaran.

Michael: I think I’m in trouble with the mob. Or a major insurance carrier.

Jim: Just a—, and then you’ll be saved. I, wh–, Bermuda Triangle. I, ma—, please don’t call again.

Michael: What about this cash for clunkers thing?

Dwight: We have let Michael down. And it’s 85% your fault.

Dwight: Not the living in fear. That’s new.

Andy: Are you saying that we surgically remove the fear center from Michael’s brain?

Michael: I wish the Mafia would go out and kill all the liars. And bury them in my yard.

Andy: Next time you look in the mirror, you’re going to be looking at a guy who stood down the Mafia.

Andy: You made the Mafia be polite!

Michael: And you can tell all your friends, that if I see them, then they are already dead.

Erin: How do you return coffee?

Kevin: Just tell Jim … that I said hi.

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