The Office: New Guys, 9.01

Thursday, September 20th, 2012 | 135 comments


The Office: New Guys

Writer: Greg Daniels, Director: Greg Daniels

Summary (NBC): The office begins its final season. Jim and Dwight are thrown off balance by the arrival of two young employees (Clark Duke and Jake Lacy) that the others dub “the new Jim” and “Dwight, Jr.” Andy comes back from Outward Bound leadership training with a desire for vengeance on Nellie (Catherine Tate). Will Oscar adopt Angela’s cat? Kevin saves a turtle.

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The Office New Guys extras


In a poll conducted September 20-24, 2012, Tallyheads rated this episode: 7.89/10

The Office New Guys quotes

Erin: Andy’s coming back today!

Dwight: I invented a new power drink made out of beet run-off.

Kevin: What a summer. An emotional rollercoaster.

Jim: Watch this guy make a billion dollars off my idea.

Pam: He said if it takes off, he’s going to buy us a new car.
Jim: An Altima or better.

Kelly: I am going to Miami, beeyotches, to hang with Lebron James and Gloria Estefan.

Ryan: They call it the Silicon Prairie.

Camera man: We’re more following you guys to see how you turn out.

Pam: Nothing interesting’s going to happen to us for a long, long time.

Toby: Just three single guys… getting into trouble.

Stanley: They’re like the new Jim and Dwight.

Meredith: Hey, New Jim, come sit on my face.

Jim: No. Pete is not the new Jim. The only thing we have in common is that neither of us wants to sit on Meredith’s face. And if that makes him the new Jim, then every human being in the world is the new Jim.

Andy: I had this really funny dream during Outward Bound that you died.
Nellie: Brilliant!

Andy: You will be called Plop.

Dwight: In a way, it’s like I have a son. And who knows, maybe someday they’ll hire someone who looks like a younger version of him. And then I’ll have a grandson.

Kevin: But you can’t eat cats. You can’t eat cats, Kevin.

Angela: If you pray enough, you can change yourself into a cat person.
Oscar: Those guys always turn back, Angela.

Toby: I took a course at the Weintraub Memory Academy.

Andy: Now I know why Michael hated you so much.

Clark: Body by Cheez-It.

Dwight: I got a couple of tickets to the Slayer concert ten months from now. You interested?

Dwight: You have a beautiful round head.

Dwight: What kind of farming you into? More of a fruit man or a root man?

Clark: Is this code for like gay stuff?

Dwight: A pudgy 22-year-old is trying to take my job!

Dwight: Yeah. There is a shark hiding inside that adorable little cherub.

Jim: Did you know there was a belt above black?

Angela: Listen, you’re in this, but you need to wow me, okay?

Andy: I don’t like to throw around the “b” word, but I’m going to be a huge bitch to you.

Andy: If you Toby out, then you’ll feel like a real Nellie.

Jim: Team sports?
Pete: NASCAR. The Amazing Race.

Jim: I have nothing in common with Plop.

Darryl: This seems like the kind of thing white people with dreadlocks do.

Clark: I’ve always been good at anything that required balance. My doctor says I have gigantic inner ears.

Dwight: Let me show you how a real man walks across a flaccid cord.

Andy: Who ordered the hot apple fail?

Andy: It’s official: old Dwight is lame and new Dwight is cool.

Dwight: This is a stupid activity. I would be embarrassed to be good at it.

Pete: I want to start my own business. I want to be a millionaire. Lots of things. Travel, make the world a better place, earn an MBA at night.

Jim: Oh, come on, Pete. God, that’s just sad. If he doesn’t watch himself, he’s going to be here for years. Doing nothing. Wow, maybe Pete is the new Jim.

Dwight: I can’t use Phyllis. Are you kidding me? The moment she steps off this bar, I’ll be launched into space. God, you’re so insensitive!

Angela: It’s the only time I’ve seen him cry other than our wedding night.

Oscar: You know what? I will take Comstock.

Angela: Please don’t teach the cat French.

Jim: I’m in. Yeah, yup, I’m all in.

Creed: In the parking lot today, there was a circus. The copier did tricks on the high wire. A lady tried to give away a baby that looked like a cat. There was a Dwight impersonator and a Jim impersonator. A strong man crushed a turtle. I laughed and I cried. Not bad for a day in the life of a dog food company.

Andy: There are two things that I am passionate about — recycling and revenge.

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  1. 135. Shae  

    Excited to see this one again. I remember really liking it when it first aired almost…wow, seven months ago.

  2. 134. gyang333  

    I thought about this long and hard (that’s what she said) but after that Kevin turtle scene, I will not be watching anymore Office episodes. They really pushed the limit last season when he adopted that dog and it made it look like the dog was dead all along…. That was a distasteful joke, and I bet if he had crushed a dog or another more mainstream pet, more people would be up in arms about it.

  3. 133. soup snake  

    I thought this was a pretty good episode to kick off the final season. The best part was the end with Creed! That’s the only time I laughed out loud. He is hilarious and I hope we get a lot more Creed this last season. I’m really interested to see what’s going to happen with Jim and Pam. I’m excited to see growth in their relationship! I can’t believe Dwight isn’t the father of Angela’s baby. I hope the test was wrong because I would like to see them get back together again. I didn’t think the part with Kevin and the turtle was funny at all. How stupid is he to not know the turtle was dead after he ran him over? Am I the only one who thinks these new guys aren’t needed? I want the final season to focus on the regular cast only. Why is Andy being so mean to Nellie? I stopped watching last season and have no idea what happened at the end. I don’t find mean Andy to be very believable since he is such a nice guy. The recycling bins part was funny though.

  4. 132. Jessie  

    @Pam, Yes, as far as I’m aware, John and Jenna’s contracts are for the full season. However, now that it has been implied that Jim and Pam are what the documentary crew is really interested in, there’s no reason why they wouldn’t follow them to Philly – after all they followed Jim to Connecticut and Pam to New York.

  5. 131. Paul  

    I think a lot of the negative flak that “The Office” has gotten in recent years has just been because Michael left. Yes, we get that Andy is similar to Michael, but that’s really because he is the boss now. Get over that fact. Please.

  6. 130. Pam  

    Great ep and was able to see it during my long weekend in Colorado. They really fit a lot of material into a half-hour season premier and found myself trying to catch my breath just to keep up.

    I haven’t had a chance to read over all these comments yet and maybe someone has already mentioned this, but to me, it felt more like a season finale than an opener. It seemed so early for Jim to be accepting the new job opportunity with his friend in Philly that it makes me wonder how they will build the anticipation on this storyline. Are John K and Jenna F expected to run their contract for the full season ? If Jim and fam move to Philly within the next couple months, I don’t see the camera crew following them there just as they did not when Michael moved to Boulder CO to be with Holly.

    So happy for Jim, though, that he’s going to go for it ! In “Two Weeks” (Season 5, Ep 21), when Michael is sitting on the floor trying to hide from Charles, he asks something very meaningful and challenging to the rest of the staff that has always stayed with me:
    “Are you being the best that you can be ?”
    Great quote, and oddly from Michael !

    Still hope Dwight and Angela will get together, even though the medical test reported he isn’t the father.

    Bravo and applause to the new producers as well ! Nicely done.

  7. 129. remember to call  

    @126 Pink Dragon: I totally agree. The Office has always been a great mix of ridiculous and subtle; in recent years, it sometimes strays from the subtle, but it’s still a great show.

    Meanwhile, I’ve wondered the same thing myself about if old plots happened now.

    For example, if “The Injury” or “Product Recall” (both generally accepted as among the very best) hadn’t aired when they did, and those plots were instead used last year…

    In my opinion, the show hasn’t been subtle and totally not-sitcom-like since Season 1, which nearly got the Office canceled before it had a chance to shine.

  8. 128. jayphayes  

    #128- The same amount of time has elapsed as real time in our lives. Each new year starts after “summer” is over (2 exceptions: s. 5’s premiere covers the summer and s. 2 doesn’t really specify, though it can be assumed it’s the same based on the other seasons’ formats).

  9. 127. Bill S.  

    @ the New Tuna (#117)

    Thanks. I figured that’s what it was…I was just a little confused as to why it wasn’t really addressed.

  10. 126. Question  

    I really just have one question hoping someone can answer:

    Within the show’s universe, how much time has elapsed since the first episode? by my count…. 8 years possibly? Cici is 3 years old correct?

  11. 125. him jalpert  

    This episode makes me pretty excited for the rest of the season.
    I’m really glad they’re making Andy more assertive and boss-like. That was one of the reasons I felt that last season wasn’t so great sometimes.
    His confidence really gives the office the backbone it needed last season.

  12. 124. Pink Dragon  

    @Roy’s Mugshot
    Respectfully agree to disagree. The show, for me, has ALWAYS been silly. Dwight purposely setting a fire to teach people a lesson in safety? Michael randomly abandoning his post to survive in the woods, or hitting Meredith with his car? Crime Aid? Frame Toby? Hot Girl? The Carpet? Beach Games? All crazy hi-jinx! I could do a whole essay about why the tone of the show hasn’t changed — I think some folks are just super sore about Michael still — but there’s a word count.

    I really feel sometimes that fans are looking at the early seasons through rose-colored glasses. If some of the old plots happened now, I think fans would be complaining about them: “Andy accidentally hits Meredith with his car/tries to do a Casino Night in the warehouse/is accidentally racist towards the new black employee.” They miraculously sound stupid as soon as you put Andy (or any non-Michael character) in the spot.

  13. 123. MichaelScottOnFacebook  

    I feel like I’m the only one who truly didn’t like this episode. It was a little hard to watch, to be quite honest.
    A lot of what Andy was doing in this episode seemed like something Michael would do, and it was upsetting. The dialogue wasn’t all great, and Kevin’s character has become just a stereotyping idiot that’s just a SHELL of his former self.
    But I do like that Nellie is still there. But Andy’s confrontation with her and him saying he hates HR was just like “No…please don’t do that”.

  14. 122. Robert  

    @Joe (#43)

    Possible meanings – she really wants to stay in Scranton and it will be considerable angst/disagreement in them as Jim pursues the new job. Or she was trying to convince herself that she feels that way when she doesn’t. So while she might be mildly upset that he went for the new job without talking to her it won’t amount to much. She can look at it as her Two Weeks moment where she followed Michael out of the office without talking to Jim, but then minutes later when he went out with her and talked everything was smoothed over.

    As to why he’s concerned – it was a very pessimistic statement. Even offhanded it should concern him that his wife thinks nothing interesting is going to happen to them.

  15. 121. Robin  

    I feel like I’m the only one who doesn’t mind Nellie. I guess I started feeling sympathetic towards her last season when we found out what her life was like, and she was so stoked about making a friend at work. I don’t think she’s bad. Just annoying.

    Still laughing about the Creed bit. Bless him. He sees the world through LSD colored glasses.

  16. 120. Robert  

    @stapler (115)

    The paternity test took place before he invented the beet drink. It was at the end of last year and he talked about inventing the juice over the summer. So it couldn’t retroactively impact his DNA.

  17. 119. ivan  

    They still have the Sabre bottles. LOL

    Great episode!

  18. 118. Christian  

    Okay, now that would be funny if Mose was the father. And I’m divided on whether Michael Scott should make even a brief return. In the real world it would probably never happen but in the world of fiction this show was originally centered around his character. And maybe when this episode comes to DVD they can leave out the disturbing turtle part?

  19. 117. DaNiELiTo  

    Hahaha that was great! Creed is barely on the episode, but always manages to get the greatest lines ever. This was truly funny, and even if Kevin has REALLY been affected by all the asbestos (they made him too dumb to be believable), the characters are back to the way we like ‘em. Good job!

  20. 116. two thumbs  

    I really enjoyed this Robert California gone, Nellie reduced episode. The only thing that upset me was Oscar turning into a total jerk. He has always been a little hard to like, but having an affair with Angela’s husband? Come on, Oscar! I want to like you. I really do! Examine your soul and walk away!

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