W: Mindy Kaling, D: Ken Whittingham
Summary (NBC): Michael and Dwight decide to surprise Ryan in New York for a night of clubbing and meet his friends. Meanwhile, the Scranton branch is upset when they find out they have to come in on a Saturday for Ryan’s website project. Jim’s plan to save them has unexpected results.
Icon courtesy of pessimistreader.
Dwight: You got a ton of dandruff.
Jim: But, best case scenario, you thought it was a quarter.
Pam: No, Dwight, not the good peanut butter, people are going to get mad!
Michael: Keep massaging, please.
Michael: They just lack a certain … Crawfordness.
Ryan: I can tell you’ve thought about this a lot. I appreciate that.
Ryan: Watch your back, Jim. I’m just kidding.
Ryan: This is a temporary measure to increase the legitimacy of the site.
Ryan: I hear you, Stanley. That is a great observation.
Jim: And then an older gentleman asks you, “boxers or briefs?”
Kelly: If I had created a website with this many problems, I’d kill myself.
Kelly: Yeah, I have a lot of questions. Number one: how dare you.
Michael: I am not applauding sarcastically.
Michael: Oh Ryan, I need a girlfriend so bad.
Ryan: Stay real, Scranton, all right? Peace.
Michael: Would you have sex with Meredith?
Michael: That’s still going on?
Michael: We’re going to New York to party with Ryan and to meet girls.
Andy: Old ball and chain’s been a lot more chain than ball lately, if you know what I’m saying.
Michael: I am going … to go get laid.
Dwight: With sex!
Jim: This is a group that respects good ideas. The one time a year they hear one.
Michael: This place is packed. Packed with beautiful babies.
Dwight: These women look like white slaves.
Ryan: When you think about it, Cabo’s really the third world.
Stanley: If I’m not in my bath with a glass of red wine in one hour, you’re both dead.
Dwight: If I’m dead, you guys have been dead for weeks.
Dwight: You resemble a Tolkien character.
Michael: I would like some chicken fingers and a Midori sour.
Dwight: Do you live in a regular-sized house?
Creed: Hank. His name is Hank.
Ryan: Weevils! What a crazy word, man.
Dwight: Do you have powers?
Andy: By a show of hands, who thinks we’re a better couple than Jim and Pam?
Michael: This place is like a sexy preschool.
Dwight: Don’t step on him.
Michael: I am a bank teller.
Michael: I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but I think I want her to meet my mom.
Hank: Stop calling me so I can put on my damn socks.
Michael: One of my friends is getting beat up by some girls.
Toby: I am moving to Costa Rica.
Toby: I’m just going to hop the fence and jog home then.
Ryan: Why wouldn’t they let me dance?
Troy: Do not take him to a hospital!
Michael: Ryan, we’re going to take your clothes off.
Dwight: I think his species might have a higher tolerance than ours.
Michael: Been watching The Wire recently. I don’t understand a word of it.
Ryan: You can leave the light on if you want, but please stop talking, okay?
Michael: It’s not about the horniness, it’s about the loneliness.
Michael: I say … let’s hear it for the boys.