The Office: Pool Party, 8.12

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The Office: Pool Party chicken fight

Writer: Owen Ellickson, Director: Charles McDougall

Summary (NBC): Robert’s last hurrah — after Robert decides to sell his mansion following his divorce, Kevin suggests that he have an office pool party. Erin tries to make Andy jealous by flirting with Dwight. Meanwhile, Robert gives everyone a tour of his massive home.

The Office Pool Party extras

The Office Pool Party rating

In a poll conducted January 19-23, 2012, Tallyheads rated this episode: 7.23/10

See all The Office Season 8 ratings.

The Office Pool Party quotes

Manually transcribed by tanster :)

Jim: It’s always more fun to mess with Dwight with an audience. That was usually Pam.

Jim: Turns out that Stanley is quite the comedy fan. But not everything makes him laugh. He has very specific tastes. Through a painstaking process of trial and error, I found out what he likes. And it’s really weird.

Stanley: You’ve been meatballed! Are ya ready for some meatball?

Stanley: What’s our haul?
Dwight: 32 meatballs.

Dwight: That idiot’s been feeding us for a week.
Stanley: We’ll never have to buy meatballs again.

Erin: I’m taking an Italian class. So far, I have learned tortellini, spaghettini, linguini… Well, it’s not so much a class as a restaurant.

Erin: You sound really pretty today.

Andy: Jessica, I love you. That’s a message from my mom.

Andy: Mom took the main diamond out. She thought that had more of my little brother kind of vibe to it.

Jim (looking at online photo of Robert’s house): Oh, it’s pretty nice. Got a little bit of The Shining vibe, though.

Dwight: Big. Stupid. Pure chump bait.

Robert: The 1% are suffering too, people.

Robert: This was hot on the heels of Eyes Wide Shut, mind you.

Robert: The ultimate insult? They’re calling my speakeasy lounge a rumpus room.

Robert: Does my turmoil amuse you, Jim?

Robert: How hilarious it is to laugh at clowns, the painted jesters of a dying circus industry.

Kevin: Yeah, all of us in the pool, saying hurrah. Maybe the last one who says hurrah is it.

Kevin: Hey, Oscar, was that you who just created a party out of thin air, or was it me.

Erin: It seems like you shouldn’t drive, maybe ever.

Erin: Andy’s such a weird stalker. I should get a restraining order.

Jim: DJ Pam Halpert is spinning some serious Radio Disney tonight.

Jim: You’re looking at the master of leaving parties early. The key is you have to make a strong impression, so you want to have a picture taken, you want to say some peculiar non sequitur that people remember, you want to note something unique, a talking point for later. I don’t mean to brag but, New Year’s Eve? I was home by nine.

Jessica: What are you doing.
Andy: Flicking a bug off my weiner.
Jessica: Gross!

Erin: Funny, how we can be surrounded by people and still feel so lonely.

Erin: How about this weekend we take that sucker to a duck pond or something. Maybe get caught in rain.

Erin: He told me he was a ride I wouldn’t survive. And I believe him.

Darryl: Red plastic cup, red plastic cup. How about that?
Val: You know, you are just as dumb at night.

Stanley: Pants only need a chair if there’s a person in them.

Robert: Here we have the parlor. I imagined people would set down their coats, and symbolically, their inhibitions. You enter this room a lawyer, a doctor, a teacher, a judge. But beyond it, you’re simply a penis, a vagina, a hunger, an ache. Susan used it as a Pilates studio.

Oscar: Toby, Chateau Margaux 95. You know your wine.

Gabe: And Gabey makes three.

Dwight: Why would you choose me? Because I’m mighty? Cause I’m the manliest man in the office? I’ll do it.

Robert: I pictured myself here every night, eating a leg of mutton, the juices dripping down my bare chest, wiping my fingers on the walls. Then I met a vegan.

Oscar: Toby, what’s compelling about this is the note of persimmon. Right?
Toby: Note? It’s a symphony!

Toby: Toby, you are playing a dangerous game. I guess I’m through the gateway now, right?

Meredith: No top scum, no band aids, this thing is choice.

Darryl: I’ve been working out. But the problem is, I’ve been building muscle underneath. And the top layer hasn’t burned off yet. It’s an awkward stage.

Erin: I think sexy eating is a dead end.

Erin: What is the most romantic thing.
Dwight: We can get some chicken fights going in the pool.

Erin: Dwight, our chemistry is really clicking. We work so well together.
Dwight: I know, I could just bang you right now.

Robert: When I put in this screening room, I bought three movies: Caligula, Last Tango in Paris, and Emmanuelle II. Last two movies I actually watched in here were Marley and Me and On Golden Fucking Pond.

Gabe: I got a Korean film on my iPod. If you want to just, if you have the cables.

Val: Does Darryl not swim?
Kevin: That’s racist!

Kelly: You’ve broken up your last couple, you evil ring.

Dwight: That Erin. She’s sure a ripe little tiger, isn’t she. And to think, I always thought of her as a second Meredith.

Andy: I like to get my monag on. It’s monagomy for my hog in me.

Dwight: You’re an idiot.

Erin: The Bernard family seal. Duh.
Andy: Duh.

Andy: Honestly, Erin, I don’t know what I’m doing.

Erin: Andy’s confused. That’s not what I was hoping for, but it’s not so bad, either. I can live with confused. I get confused. I totally get confused.

Robert: And of course the pool — ultimate lubricant for any wild evening. And it was here that my parties would have crescendoed into true madness.

Oscar: I am Bacchus, god of wine!
Toby: I am Bacchus’ friend!

Robert: This is no get together. This is a party.

Jim: And there’s my talking point.

Robert: It’s not a party if you don’t do something that scares you.

Icon provided by pessimistreader.


  1. Ben, my thought is that ‘last hurrah’ is between Robert and his house, not Robert and the show. But I could be wrong.
    I wonder if Dwight will give the house a thorough checking, as he had done in a previous season lol

  2. An office pool party and Robert giving a tour of his home, sounds a little like Dinner Party to me. Which is my favorite episode. But as someone said above, a pool party in winter?

  3. to those of you freaking out about the improbability of having a pool party in january… he probably has an indoor pool.

  4. Since Robert owns a mansion perhaps it is an indoor pool…if not, only members of the Polar Bear Club would have a pool party in Scranton during the month of January? Of course it was Kevin who made the suggestion…consider the source.

  5. It was Kevin that suggested he have the pool party, so it being in January isn’t that absurd since an idiot was the one who came up with idea.

  6. 1. I’m pretty sure they mean billiards.

    2. James Spader is signed for at least 15 episodes. This is his 11th or 12th, depending on if he is in Trivia or not.

  7. I don’t think they should drop the erin and andy thing.
    In fact the drama between them in the christmas episode was great and ALMOST jim and pam like.

    Obviously no one will match that chemistry but Erin is an adorable character and anything that plays with that fact shouldn’t be abandoned.

  8. So the guy who originally applied and was hired for Regional Manager somehow owns a mansion?

  9. 15. Remember to call, James Spader wasn’t in ‘Lotto’, so this would be the 10th or 11th episode.

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