The Office: Secretary’s Day, 6.22

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Secretary's Day

Writer: Mindy Kaling, Director: Steve Carell

Summary (NBC): Andy pulls out all the stops to give Erin a memorable Secretary’s Day. Michael reluctantly takes Erin out to lunch and lets slip about Andy’s relationship with Angela. Meanwhile, Oscar circulates a viral video he created that compares Kevin’s voice to Sesame Street’s Cookie Monster.

The Office Secretary’s Day extras

The Office Secretary’s Day rating

In a poll conducted April 22-26, Tallyheads rated this episode: 7.73/10

See all The Office Season 6 ratings.

The Office Secretary’s Day quotes

Dwight: Why is everyone clumped around accounting? Break it up, you clique!

Dwight: Is that the program where all those puppets live in the barrio?

Kevin: Angela, this is inappropriate.
Angela: This is my favorite day!

Andy: I sent an email blast, a text blast, a good old-fashioned talk blast.

Andy: People better step up and appreciate the crap out of Erin.

Andy: If it wasn’t for secretaries, I wouldn’t have a stepmom.

Pam: What was maternity leave like? Oh, how do I explain it. It rocked. It rocked my ass off!

Michael: She’s kind of a rube.

Erin: I got a picture of you asking me to lunch.

Darryl: That’s some stone-cold narcissism right there.

Kevin: They’re making fun of Cookie Monster. I get that. But in a strange way, it feels like they’re making fun of me.

Gabe: Some of them still think I’m the I.T. guy.

Gabe: Not to be scary, but yeah, I would listen to me.

Michael: Would you mind if I listen to my book on tape? I’m kind of a bookworm. This is a novelization of the movie Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire.

Erin: What decade would you have chosen to be a teenager?

Erin: I would have chosen the 1490s.

Erin: And then my last job was at a Taco Bell Express. But then it became a full Taco Bell and, I don’t know, I couldn’t keep up.

Erin: My favorite part about being a receptionist is that I get to have my own desk.

Erin: Did you have a favorite age? Or month?

Erin: I liked April when I was seven.

Michael: Erin is just weird.

Erin: How many pillows do you sleep on at night?

Michael: I don’t think he is the best dresser. Reminds me of Easter.

Waiter: Of course. I’ll get you a bowl of pickles.

Erin: In the foster home, my hair was my room.

Michael: I’ll have what she’s having.

Dwight: You gotta milk them. Or else they’ll moo like crazy.

Dwight: Fine, let your breasts explode. Three squeezes and I would drain you!

Meredith: This is like the Cadillac of pumps.

Ryan: That’s a little derivative.
Kelly: But parody is always derivative.
Ryan: It’s not organic.

Gabe: Why don’t we leave the parodies to the pros at MadTV?

Gabe: I think my energy is better spent on the Cookie Monster issue.

Dwight: I was just slow-clapping your no-nonsense decision-making.

Kevin: “C” is for suspension.

Michael: That’s like “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” crap.

Michael: I resent the implication that I would keep that secret. Everyone here knows that I can’t and won’t keep a secret.

Angela: You are throwing up for the wrong reasons!

Pam: It’s not about who you’ve been with. It’s about who you end up with.

Pam: Sometimes the heart doesn’t know what it wants until it finds what it wants.

Erin: I hope you find what you’re looking for.

Gabe: Guys, I would even take a contrite look as an apology.

Erin: What’s your real name? Lionel Frankenstein?

Andy: My chest is not naturally hairless and my parents pay my credit card bill.

Erin: I think I have to be on my own for a little bit, like that girl Precious from Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire.

Kevin (as Gabe): I just want you to know I laugh like a crazy person.

Kevin (as Gabe): I say ciao because I’m fancy from Tallahassee.

Michael: She’s like three feet tall, and she wears pioneer women clothing, and I don’t think she’s ever pooped!

Andy: At least somebody made her happy on Secretary’s Day.

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