The Office: Tallahassee, 8.15

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The Office: Tallahassee Dwight Schrute Nellie Bertram

Writer: Daniel Chun, Director: Matt Sohn

Summary (NBC): After Dwight and his team arrive in Tallahassee, Dwight competes with his Dunder Mifflin coworkers to impress Sabre special projects president, Nellie Bertram (Catherine Tate). Back in Scranton, Andy avoids being manager when several people in the office demand raises. Guest star: Catherine Tate.

The Office Tallahassee extras

The Office Tallahassee rating

In a poll conducted February 16-20, 2012, Tallyheads rated this episode: 8.47/10

See all The Office Season 8 ratings.

The Office Tallahassee quotes

Manually transcribed by tanster :)

Erin: I was reading the mattress tag and I fell asleep.

Erin: Stanley, wake up, it’s Pretzel Day!

Dwight: I gotta find Luwanda at The Alcohol Club.

Dwight: When I first met Pam, she said something that slightly rubbed me the wrong way. Since then, I’ve loved working with Pam, and she’s frankly wonderful, but I hate her.

Dwight: Okay, Twiggy, that’s enough, get in the car.

Erin: Who says none of us are diarrheal?

Dwight: I’m gonna set your face on fire.

Jim: Woah, Stanley. Did you just come back from burning down a rival nightclub?

Stanley: Wanna get in? You can work the iPod.

Jim: Loggins and Messina.
Stanley: Did I say Messina?

Creed: It’s so peaceful, I’ve already written like 12 plays today.

Meredith: Hey, can you pick up the pin? Some of us like to work in our bare feet.

Kelly: Will one of you get the phone? I am freaking out. I know it’s for me.

Stanley: Life is short. “Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse.” That’s one of my mottos.

Packer: Quick query, Halpert. Still queer?

Packer: You can’t put me down. Too strong.

Nellie: Stop looking at my breasts, and start looking at my penis.

Nellie: I went on a shopping spree. Very destructive, I bought 13 pianos.

Nellie: It has to be winter, and I reject it.

Dwight: What is the antidote?
Jim: True love’s kiss.

Dwight: Right Dwight, Right Dwight. Sorry, now you’ll never be able to get that out of your head.

Dwight: It can’t be appendicitis. I eat more than enough bacon.

Dwight: I’m a decent baiter. My cousin Mose, that’s a master baiter.

Stanley: I’m not bored. I’m a pirate.

Jim: I’ve spent so much of my life telling myself, “please, don’t end up like Stanley.” And now I’m wondering, if I even have what it takes.

Nellie: Humans… pyramid. Human pyramid.

Packer: Dude, don’t you yak on me. This shirt’s Van Heusen.

Jim: The one thing Pam made sure I knew, Florida’s pretty loose with the death penalty.

Ryan: Who called it? Nothing but net.

Dwight: Don’t remember me like this. Remember me as the man who pulled down the screen.

Dwight: Philip, if you’re hearing this memo, that can only mean one thing. I’m dead. You are the rightful heir to Schrute Farms. Please, you must do one thing. Kill Mose before he kills you. Mose, hey, it’s Dwight. Listen, I just want to give you a heads up.

Dwight: You guys sound just like the enemies of Seabiscuit.

Dwight: Consumers are mindless lemmings. They just want to be told what to do.

Dwight: The menstrual cycle determines every choice a woman makes.

Nellie: What are the three pillars of retail?
Erin: Convenience.
Dwight: Ingredients.
Erin: Service.
Dwight: Burgers.
Erin: Building loyalty.
Dwight: Killing royalty.

Dwight: You know what is important? Is Dwight’s pillars. And there is only one. Desire.

Darryl: I know you want reception today, but tomorrow you won’t want to do her. She’s a dog.

Dwight: Just lost four ounces of appendix. Already replaced it with muscle.

Nellie: I give you Wally Amos, founder of Famous Amos Cookies!

Famous: Is it oatmeal with no raisins?
Erin: I’m sorry I wasted your time.

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