The Office: Tallahassee, 8.15

Thursday, February 16th, 2012 | 78 comments


The Office: Tallahassee Dwight Schrute Nellie Bertram

Writer: Daniel Chun, Director: Matt Sohn

Summary (NBC): After Dwight and his team arrive in Tallahassee, Dwight competes with his Dunder Mifflin coworkers to impress Sabre special projects president, Nellie Bertram (Catherine Tate). Back in Scranton, Andy avoids being manager when several people in the office demand raises. Guest star: Catherine Tate.

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The Office Tallahassee extras


In a poll conducted February 16-20, 2012, Tallyheads rated this episode: 8.47/10

The Office Tallahassee quotes

Manually transcribed by tanster :)

Erin: I was reading the mattress tag and I fell asleep.

Erin: Stanley, wake up, it’s Pretzel Day!

Dwight: I gotta find Luwanda at The Alcohol Club.

Dwight: When I first met Pam, she said something that slightly rubbed me the wrong way. Since then, I’ve loved working with Pam, and she’s frankly wonderful, but I hate her.

Dwight: Okay, Twiggy, that’s enough, get in the car.

Erin: Who says none of us are diarrheal?

Dwight: I’m gonna set your face on fire.

Jim: Woah, Stanley. Did you just come back from burning down a rival nightclub?

Stanley: Wanna get in? You can work the iPod.

Jim: Loggins and Messina.
Stanley: Did I say Messina?

Creed: It’s so peaceful, I’ve already written like 12 plays today.

Meredith: Hey, can you pick up the pin? Some of us like to work in our bare feet.

Kelly: Will one of you get the phone? I am freaking out. I know it’s for me.

Stanley: Life is short. “Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse.” That’s one of my mottos.

Packer: Quick query, Halpert. Still queer?

Packer: You can’t put me down. Too strong.

Nellie: Stop looking at my breasts, and start looking at my penis.

Nellie: I went on a shopping spree. Very destructive, I bought 13 pianos.

Nellie: It has to be winter, and I reject it.

Dwight: What is the antidote?
Jim: True love’s kiss.

Dwight: Right Dwight, Right Dwight. Sorry, now you’ll never be able to get that out of your head.

Dwight: It can’t be appendicitis. I eat more than enough bacon.

Dwight: I’m a decent baiter. My cousin Mose, that’s a master baiter.

Stanley: I’m not bored. I’m a pirate.

Jim: I’ve spent so much of my life telling myself, “please, don’t end up like Stanley.” And now I’m wondering, if I even have what it takes.

Nellie: Humans… pyramid. Human pyramid.

Packer: Dude, don’t you yak on me. This shirt’s Van Heusen.

Jim: The one thing Pam made sure I knew, Florida’s pretty loose with the death penalty.

Ryan: Who called it? Nothing but net.

Dwight: Don’t remember me like this. Remember me as the man who pulled down the screen.

Dwight: Philip, if you’re hearing this memo, that can only mean one thing. I’m dead. You are the rightful heir to Schrute Farms. Please, you must do one thing. Kill Mose before he kills you. Mose, hey, it’s Dwight. Listen, I just want to give you a heads up.

Dwight: You guys sound just like the enemies of Seabiscuit.

Dwight: Consumers are mindless lemmings. They just want to be told what to do.

Dwight: The menstrual cycle determines every choice a woman makes.

Nellie: What are the three pillars of retail?
Erin: Convenience.
Dwight: Ingredients.
Erin: Service.
Dwight: Burgers.
Erin: Building loyalty.
Dwight: Killing royalty.

Dwight: You know what is important? Is Dwight’s pillars. And there is only one. Desire.

Darryl: I know you want reception today, but tomorrow you won’t want to do her. She’s a dog.

Dwight: Just lost four ounces of appendix. Already replaced it with muscle.

Nellie: I give you Wally Amos, founder of Famous Amos Cookies!

Famous: Is it oatmeal with no raisins?
Erin: I’m sorry I wasted your time.


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  1. 78. Lloyd Gross  

    Fun fact about this episode. When the phone was ringing and neither Pam or Andy would answer the whole office started yelling to answer the phone… Including Stanley!

    Wasn’t he supposed to be in Florida burning down a rival night club??

  2. 77. timbo  

    [ from tanster: thank you, fixed! ]

  3. 76. Underday Ifflinmay Abresay  

    Earlier I had commented on how fast I thought this episode had gone by without me even noticing it until the very end. How it made me think, “What the. That’s it.” The end really snuck up on me. I realize now that I missed a prime opportunity (or two) for a “That’s what she said” joke. I feel like Michael did when he finally got Dwight to ask him, “What’s updog?” =/

  4. 75. ascribe  

    I also liked the interaction with Dwight and Erin acting as his kind of assistant. It works well and sort of makes up for not having the Michael and Erin moments anymore.

    It also makes me still think that Dwight probably should have been the choice for manager. Episodes like this show that he could do it, and was maybe better suited to the role than Andy. I often think Andy was better out with the others than stuck away in the manager’s office.

  5. 74. Patrick  

    Two very good episodes in a row! I was just about to stop watching “The Office” for good, and then this happened.

    I hope that Cathy puts the moves on Jim soon. It would be interesting to see some real crisis in P&J’s relationship.

  6. 73. Whitney  

    PhillyInDC – THANK YOU SO FREAKING MUCH. I’ve been going CRAZY trying to figure out where I knew her from. It’s Trish Suhr from Clean House. I could hear her voice and see her animated face, but I just COULDN’T place where I’d seen it before. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!

  7. 72. Janet  

    Absolutely great episode, and one of the best openings ever!

  8. 71. Spleegan  

    @Jim and Pam Fan:

    I completely agree. 3 hilarious episodes, they are on a roll! So happy with the direction the show is going!! Can’t wait for more!

  9. 70. Lisa P.  

    My 4 year old has the same backpack as Dwight. We told him Dwight stole it. ;-)

  10. 69. Jim and Pam Fan  

    I’ve reconsidered my rating of this episode, and now realize that I don’t think I’d seen the entire episode. The first five minutes including the cold open were brilliant. Also the Catherine Tate speech was funny occasionally. We’ve had three great episodes in a row, and this season has much more hope now.

  11. 68. Underday Ifflinmay Abresay  

    I just have to say in the spirit of the reality of this “reality” show that this Sabre Pyramid thing looks like the epitome of planned obsolescence. Doesn’t seem like a good economic climate to be opening a chain of stores around such a product, but hey that’s just me.

  12. 67. Underday Ifflinmay Abresay  

    What a great cold open. I could have fell out on the floor myself! I like to see Dwight & Erin team up, they are good together. Also glad to see the Pack Attack back. Like RobCal, the jury is still out on Nellie for me. In addition to Danny Cordray & Kathy What’s Her Face, Nellie seems to be an extraneous character.

    This episode definitely got that disconcerting discomfort feeling going for me. I’m not sure if it will be the Office kind of weird (yea) or an off kind of weird (nay). I will have to see the story lines play out a little more. However when I heard the closing music I was like “What the. That’s it.” The end really snuck up on me. Must have been a good show to have gone by so fast, time flies when you’re having fun.

  13. 66. remember to call  

    Probably one of my favorite Office cold opens. Catherine Tate wasn’t as terrible as last year, but she still wasn’t funny. I’d also like to know why the Scranton plotline was different than it is in the plot summary, although the reception thing was probably the better plot. Dwight’s lines as he is on the stretcher still have me laughing. I was convinced this was written by BJ Novak or Paul Lieberstein, but no – a writer who has only been around since S6.

  14. 65. OK  

    Loved Catherine Tate. I laughed so hard at the “13 pianos” line. Dwight is so funny when paired with one of the ladies, and I’m glad Andy was dialed down a bit. Hope this is a good sign of what’s to come! Oh yeah, totally missed the people asking for raises too. Gonna head to Hulu and see if I catch it after a second viewing.

  15. 64. Bella  

    This episode was great! At the cold open, even my parents — who hate hate hate the office — could not stop laughing. It looks like the show is starting to figure out what it needs to make it great again.

  16. 63. Pauley  

    Ok, I changed my mind about Catherine Tate. She was quite entertaining in this episode. Stanley was awesome, it was good to see him get more than just a line an episode and see his character fleshed out. I hope that the other characters that we don’t hear from as often get a chance to shine as well. Andy was given the right amount of lines again, and as the season goes on he is settling into the manager’s role nicely. His turn as receptionist was very “Andy” and didn’t feel like Michael lite at all. In some eps it felt like they were just giving MS’s lines to Andy, which didn’t feel genuine, but this one was the right fit. Dwight was great as usual, maybe next week we see some dwangela action. My only quibbles: why Erin the receptionist, Ryan and Kathy the temp (why is she still there)went on the trip, rather than the sales team? It would make more sense if they had hired another salesperson to replace Andy, and that person attended. Also, not enough Pam.

  17. 62. GKCfan  

    I really enjoyed this episode. I thought at first that Erin sleeping upside-down was a reference to Pippi Longstocking, who sleeps exactly the same way. And I forgot that we already learned that Mose now knows how to work a phone when Dwight called him when he was named acting manager.

    And who else feels sorry for the hotel maid who had to clean up Jim’s prank?

  18. 61. Derek  

    Hands down best cold-open from the past few seasons. Erin and Dwight have such an amazing dynamic.

  19. 60. blacklamb  

    I haven’t laughed that hard at an Office episode since The Injury, and that’s like the highest praise I could ever give. I’m a little blown away right now, I definitely didn’t see that coming.

  20. 59. Dwigt  

    So reading the synopsis again… did I black out during the part “when several people in the office demand raises” ???

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