The Office: Test The Store, 8.17

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The Office: Test The Store

Writer: Mindy Kaling, Director: Brent Forrester

Summary (NBC): The Florida team readies the new Sabre Store — Dwight prepares a theatrical presentation to impress Nellie at the Sabre Store opening. In Scranton, Andy shows up to work with an embarrassing injury. Guest stars: Catherine Tate, Georgia Engel, Tig Notaro.

The Office Test The Store extras

  • Promos
  • Check out the Sabre products Pyramid and Arrowhead.
  • The song playing during Jim’s presentation is Clocks by Coldplay.
  • During my visit to The Office on January 19, editor Claire Scanlon showed me a scene she was editing related to the theatrical presentation. It’s pretty eye-opening. (Yes, Jim wears eyeliner.)
  • Tig Notaro guest stars as the mother of the girl who punches Andy in the face.

The Office Test The Store rating

In a poll conducted March 1-5, 2012, Tallyheads rated this episode: 7.824/10

See all The Office Season 8 ratings.

The Office Test The Store quotes

Manually transcribed by tanster :)

Ryan: Are you holding this chair, ’cause I feel like I’m going to fall off. I’m not wearing the right shoes for this.

Dwight: Your tiny fingers make the best knots.

Erin: Hey, my name’s Tabitha. I’m camped out in front of the Sabre store so I can be first in line for the new Pyramid.

Nellie: Now I know you probably all think I’m this Patrician goddess.

Nellie: I was born in the little working class town of Basildon.

Nellie: What’s lower than dirt?
Dwight: Loam, magna, mantle, outer core, inner core.

Jim: Which Spice Girl.
Nellie: The black one. I never stood a chance.

Dwight: For a tech company, press can only mean one thing. Bloggers.

Dwight: Bloggers are gross. Bloggers are obese. Bloggers have halitosis. You’re going to love them.

Packer: As soon as he messes up, I swoop in like a sexual predator.

Dwight: Speaking of pimples, let’s release the bloggers!

Kelly: So much time has passed. It’s like my life is buffering.

Cathy: I always get in trouble around bloggers. I’m trying to be a good girl for once.

Toby: I’ll go put on my cup.

Blogger: This is a perfect photo for my daily fail blog.

Nellie: Dwight, what is a fail. That sounds bad.

Jim: Is there anything I can do? Maybe pretend to be Chuck?

Dwight: Surrender the tri-pack.

Dwight: Point it towards the store, idiot.

Dwight: Tell your great grandson to bring his kid by.

Dwight: The elderly suck the life out of the young. Get them out of here!

Toby: I. A. A. T. G. It’s all about the groin.

Toby: You would like The Turn of the Table. The latest Chad Flenderman novel.

Angela: Can I please leave? I have a rape flute.

Dwight: Cathy, I would like to introduce you to Fatty Gruesome.

Ryan: I wish Kelly were here. She always knew what to say.

Dwight: You’re smarter than Mark Zuckerberg and those Google guys all combined.

Ryan: Get me something yellow or green from a nearby store. Not red!

Toby: If your attacker is willing to defile a corpse, you better stop playing dead right away.

Tiffy: Sorry I kicked your ass in front of your “thin” girlfriend.

Pam: How about we wait ’til next year after you have your kid?

Toby: My ex-wife used to demolish me.

Darryl: Omigod. I think I see the imprint of a ring pop.

Ryan: Honestly I could use a prescription for Ritalin right now.

Ryan: I know you’re my boss, but seriously, you need to get the hell out of my face.

Nellie: Your little man is unraveling.

Erin: Sorry about kicking you out. It’s just we don’t want our brand associated with death.

Lady: I’ll go to the Costco and search for handsome men.

Lady: Someone rejected you? With that body and those bazongas? Forget him.

Dwight: This is not the face of a performer. This is the face of a scary apparition you see before you die.

Dwight: You are wearing eyeliner, Jim.

Jim: This is the future. Because this is the past.

Jim: You can play anything. From Chuck. To Cars 2.

Jim: With the Pyramid, you have the connection to everything. In time. And space.

Ryan: Sabre. It’s time. To come home.

Kevin: Whether it’s a gremlin or Chucky the doll, the key is to throw it in something. Like a fireplace. Or a tub of electricity.

Angela: I think Kelly should attack Toby.

Andy: You may want to ask yourselves, where were you when the girls came?

Dwight: We could have integrated more Chuck into the presentation.

Icon provided by pessimistreader.


  1. I’m pretty sure this is the episode Brian Baumgartner directed. He tweeted last night that the episode he directed premieres in two weeks.

    And, secondly, Andy’s “embarrassing injury” sounds a lot like Michael’s incident with the George Foremen grill…

  2. Hmmm, maybe Andy’s embarrassing injury is his foot burned by a foreman grill. Now that would be original. ;)

  3. “Embarrassing injury?” It must be pretty bad if it’s more embarrassing than the injury he suffered at Jim and Pam’s wedding! :-)

  4. Yikes… Nellie is STILL there! Why can’t they let the original cast shine without these awkward guest stars! Robert is finally gone and now we have to deal with her? I really miss M. Scott.

  5. @Mose Robert is not gone and he is not a guest star. He will be back for at least four more episodes.

  6. @Mose, I miss Michael, too. I think it would be pretty realistic, actually, if Pam went to his wedding (and perhaps Dwight and Andy, too?). Steve has to come back for at least an episode, I always thought that they’d at least reference him – because Michael would definitely want to know how everyone was doing. The new baby Phillip(s), Erin’s love life (or lack thereof), etc.

  7. I hope Andy’s injury doesn’t have to do with his scrotum again, or doesn’t look like Michael’s injury with his George Foreman grill.

  8. The good news is that based on the new spoilers about story details it’s safe to say they aren’t ENDING the series this season, so as long as The Office gets picked up which I’m sure it will then we will have it for at least one more.

  9. didn’t think this episode was hilarious…
    it kind of lost the momentum of Tallahassee and After Hours, but I’m excited to see the wrapping up of the Florida arc!

  10. My dvr didn’t record it for some reason. First time this has happened with a new episode of The Office. So, I’m out of the loop tonight.

  11. Hi I’m a fan of the office and I just found this website today. Are we supposed to avoid posting spoilers here or can we discuss “Test the Store” freely?

    [ from tanster: welcome, and feel free to post your thoughts about this episode! :) ]

Comments are closed.