The Office: Test The Store, 8.17

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The Office: Test The Store

Writer: Mindy Kaling, Director: Brent Forrester

Summary (NBC): The Florida team readies the new Sabre Store — Dwight prepares a theatrical presentation to impress Nellie at the Sabre Store opening. In Scranton, Andy shows up to work with an embarrassing injury. Guest stars: Catherine Tate, Georgia Engel, Tig Notaro.

The Office Test The Store extras

  • Promos
  • Check out the Sabre products Pyramid and Arrowhead.
  • The song playing during Jim’s presentation is Clocks by Coldplay.
  • During my visit to The Office on January 19, editor Claire Scanlon showed me a scene she was editing related to the theatrical presentation. It’s pretty eye-opening. (Yes, Jim wears eyeliner.)
  • Tig Notaro guest stars as the mother of the girl who punches Andy in the face.

The Office Test The Store rating

In a poll conducted March 1-5, 2012, Tallyheads rated this episode: 7.824/10

See all The Office Season 8 ratings.

The Office Test The Store quotes

Manually transcribed by tanster :)

Ryan: Are you holding this chair, ’cause I feel like I’m going to fall off. I’m not wearing the right shoes for this.

Dwight: Your tiny fingers make the best knots.

Erin: Hey, my name’s Tabitha. I’m camped out in front of the Sabre store so I can be first in line for the new Pyramid.

Nellie: Now I know you probably all think I’m this Patrician goddess.

Nellie: I was born in the little working class town of Basildon.

Nellie: What’s lower than dirt?
Dwight: Loam, magna, mantle, outer core, inner core.

Jim: Which Spice Girl.
Nellie: The black one. I never stood a chance.

Dwight: For a tech company, press can only mean one thing. Bloggers.

Dwight: Bloggers are gross. Bloggers are obese. Bloggers have halitosis. You’re going to love them.

Packer: As soon as he messes up, I swoop in like a sexual predator.

Dwight: Speaking of pimples, let’s release the bloggers!

Kelly: So much time has passed. It’s like my life is buffering.

Cathy: I always get in trouble around bloggers. I’m trying to be a good girl for once.

Toby: I’ll go put on my cup.

Blogger: This is a perfect photo for my daily fail blog.

Nellie: Dwight, what is a fail. That sounds bad.

Jim: Is there anything I can do? Maybe pretend to be Chuck?

Dwight: Surrender the tri-pack.

Dwight: Point it towards the store, idiot.

Dwight: Tell your great grandson to bring his kid by.

Dwight: The elderly suck the life out of the young. Get them out of here!

Toby: I. A. A. T. G. It’s all about the groin.

Toby: You would like The Turn of the Table. The latest Chad Flenderman novel.

Angela: Can I please leave? I have a rape flute.

Dwight: Cathy, I would like to introduce you to Fatty Gruesome.

Ryan: I wish Kelly were here. She always knew what to say.

Dwight: You’re smarter than Mark Zuckerberg and those Google guys all combined.

Ryan: Get me something yellow or green from a nearby store. Not red!

Toby: If your attacker is willing to defile a corpse, you better stop playing dead right away.

Tiffy: Sorry I kicked your ass in front of your “thin” girlfriend.

Pam: How about we wait ’til next year after you have your kid?

Toby: My ex-wife used to demolish me.

Darryl: Omigod. I think I see the imprint of a ring pop.

Ryan: Honestly I could use a prescription for Ritalin right now.

Ryan: I know you’re my boss, but seriously, you need to get the hell out of my face.

Nellie: Your little man is unraveling.

Erin: Sorry about kicking you out. It’s just we don’t want our brand associated with death.

Lady: I’ll go to the Costco and search for handsome men.

Lady: Someone rejected you? With that body and those bazongas? Forget him.

Dwight: This is not the face of a performer. This is the face of a scary apparition you see before you die.

Dwight: You are wearing eyeliner, Jim.

Jim: This is the future. Because this is the past.

Jim: You can play anything. From Chuck. To Cars 2.

Jim: With the Pyramid, you have the connection to everything. In time. And space.

Ryan: Sabre. It’s time. To come home.

Kevin: Whether it’s a gremlin or Chucky the doll, the key is to throw it in something. Like a fireplace. Or a tub of electricity.

Angela: I think Kelly should attack Toby.

Andy: You may want to ask yourselves, where were you when the girls came?

Dwight: We could have integrated more Chuck into the presentation.

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