The Office: The Whale, 9.07

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The Office: The Whale

Writer: Carrie Kemper, Director: Rodman Flender

Summary (NBC): Dwight faces his greatest professional handicap: selling to women — when Dwight must sell to a woman at the lucrative Scranton White Pages, Pam and the ladies teach him how to interact with female clients. Angela suspects the Senator is cheating on her; she and Oscar spy on him at his yoga class. Meanwhile, Andy skypes in from his boat, and Toby convinces several guys in the office to grow mustaches in honor of “Movember.” Guest stars: Jack Coleman, Melora Hardin.

The Office The Whale extras

The Office The Whale rating

In a poll conducted November 15-19, 2012, Tallyheads rated this episode: 8.41/10

See all The Office Season 9 ratings.

The Office The Whale quotes

Andy: Worry about my eyes. They’re like two flaming meatballs in my skull.

Erin: No Woman No Cry.

Darryl: Andy, it’s Darryl. Take your drawers off your head.

Dwight: There is a reason we in the paper industry call this thing “The White Whale.” Look at all that sweet blubber.

Dwight: Will you run into the bathroom and tell him to eat it?

Phyllis: Pizza Friday could come back.

Creed: I miss Clinton.

Jim: First time I’ve ever been excited about work. So that feels… wrong.

Pete: Okay, calm down. It’s just me. Not Tom Selleck.

Clark: I hope you like being turned on all the time.

Toby: I have very fertile hair glands.

Toby: We have the dopest time back in the annex.

Toby: Smile if you love men’s prostates.

Angela: I think the senator is having an affair.

Pam: You got this, Schrute.

Dwight: I will tell her what her needs are and then fill them.

Nellie: Have you ever killed a woman? How many women have you killed? Please, sir, will you not kill me?

Colin: It’s sounding kind of spooky sexy over here, Halpert.

Colin: We’re trying to reach Jim Halpert, not Batman.

Dwight: Unfortunately, our external hairs don’t vibrate at all.

Erin: It’s just up and down. Just a regular nod, like a person.

Nellie: He looks like he’s laboring over a stool, having just eaten human flesh.

Meredith: Boo! Weird!

Pam: Ten years ago, I didn’t care if Dwight got married, or died a beet-farming bachelor. But having kids makes you so soft. I used to watch Pulp Fiction and laugh, now I’m like, “that poor gimp is somebody’s child!”

Dwight: Don’t lie about your shoulders!

Pam: Business women are just normal, nice, reasonable people.

Pam: He used to make dogs fight, or he actually fought dogs?
Dwight: A little of this, a little of that.

Angela: I’ve heard of this. Dog style.

Hank: This. Ends. Now!

Jan: Fine. I will show you one slideshow.

Erin: It makes it look like there’s an eyebrow in the middle of your face. Makes your mouth look like an eye socket. You look like a Cyclops whose eye fell out.

Jan: Don’t patronize me.
Pam: I’m so sorry. I hate this. You’re better.

Clark: Where’s the Quiznos?
Dwight: You’re the Quiznos.

Jan: And yes. Molly is crap.

Jan: Do you have a valid passport?

Dwight: You are my friend. And you are a woman. And women love gossip. It’s like air to you people.

Icon provided by pessimistreader.


  1. Ed Helms has been filming Hangover 3 for the last month or so, so maybe that’s why Andy’s away on a boat in this one. Sounds like this is going to be a Pam & Dwight episode – I love those! Can’t wait to see who has mustaches as well!

  2. Sounds promising! @vic, agree with you, glad we can look forward to a reduced Andy role in this episode

    On another note, if interviews are true, and the next episode is “The Farm”, that puts the episodes at
    The Boat
    The Whale
    The Farm
    Quite a lot of ‘the’s

  3. I don’t really buy Dwight being unable to sell to women. Remember when he picked up the female basketball player in Night Out? It always seemed that Dwight could have women wrapped around his finger but he just chose not to. Maybe that’s the point of the storyline.

  4. First Broccoli Rob via satellite and now Andy via Skype! Ed Helms is filming Hangover 3 at the moment, right?

  5. @Kayla – We’ve seen him sell himself. “How would I describe myself? Three words. Hard-working. Alpha male. Jackhammer. Merciless. Insatiable.”

  6. Kayla – we saw him try to sell to the blond at the “Valentines Party” in Blood Drive (Season 5)

  7. oh yeah…

    Dwight: So basically, the greater volume you decide to buy in, the greater discount we can give you.
    Blonde: OK. [Blonde stands up to leave]
    Dwight: OK, what’s up?
    Blonde: Look, I’m gonna go…
    Dwight: Oh-oh-oh before you go, I’d just love to get a firm commitment on this. You know maybe sign–
    Blonde: Look, we already have a paper supplier.
    Dwight: OK. Well, thanks for wasting my time tonight, idiot. God!

    excited to see dwight try again :)

  8. I wonder if it’s the same sailboat Andy was talking about his brother getting last season when Pam, Angela, and Oscar were competing over what’s harder to care for, one baby, two babies, or a dog.

  9. Does anyone else here think like I do, in that we’re going to see an Angela/Oscar “duel” over the Senator like we did between Andy and Dwight over Angela? Or perhaps there will be a different take on it? Maybe while spying on him with Angela, Oscar sees that he’s not the only man in the Senator’s life. Which leaves Oscar, who claims he might be in love for the first time in his now middle aged life, devastated; and Angela angry, embarrassed, foolish, and most likely a soon to be single mother–something she’s always openly disparaged. In a way, both get their comeuppance: For past duplicities and hypocritical, judgmental ways. And it furthermore shows that as opposite as they appear on the surface of things, at the core, they’re really the same sort of person.

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