The Office: The Whale, 9.07

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The Office: The Whale

Writer: Carrie Kemper, Director: Rodman Flender

Summary (NBC): Dwight faces his greatest professional handicap: selling to women — when Dwight must sell to a woman at the lucrative Scranton White Pages, Pam and the ladies teach him how to interact with female clients. Angela suspects the Senator is cheating on her; she and Oscar spy on him at his yoga class. Meanwhile, Andy skypes in from his boat, and Toby convinces several guys in the office to grow mustaches in honor of “Movember.” Guest stars: Jack Coleman, Melora Hardin.

The Office The Whale extras

The Office The Whale rating

In a poll conducted November 15-19, 2012, Tallyheads rated this episode: 8.41/10

See all The Office Season 9 ratings.

The Office The Whale quotes

Andy: Worry about my eyes. They’re like two flaming meatballs in my skull.

Erin: No Woman No Cry.

Darryl: Andy, it’s Darryl. Take your drawers off your head.

Dwight: There is a reason we in the paper industry call this thing “The White Whale.” Look at all that sweet blubber.

Dwight: Will you run into the bathroom and tell him to eat it?

Phyllis: Pizza Friday could come back.

Creed: I miss Clinton.

Jim: First time I’ve ever been excited about work. So that feels… wrong.

Pete: Okay, calm down. It’s just me. Not Tom Selleck.

Clark: I hope you like being turned on all the time.

Toby: I have very fertile hair glands.

Toby: We have the dopest time back in the annex.

Toby: Smile if you love men’s prostates.

Angela: I think the senator is having an affair.

Pam: You got this, Schrute.

Dwight: I will tell her what her needs are and then fill them.

Nellie: Have you ever killed a woman? How many women have you killed? Please, sir, will you not kill me?

Colin: It’s sounding kind of spooky sexy over here, Halpert.

Colin: We’re trying to reach Jim Halpert, not Batman.

Dwight: Unfortunately, our external hairs don’t vibrate at all.

Erin: It’s just up and down. Just a regular nod, like a person.

Nellie: He looks like he’s laboring over a stool, having just eaten human flesh.

Meredith: Boo! Weird!

Pam: Ten years ago, I didn’t care if Dwight got married, or died a beet-farming bachelor. But having kids makes you so soft. I used to watch Pulp Fiction and laugh, now I’m like, “that poor gimp is somebody’s child!”

Dwight: Don’t lie about your shoulders!

Pam: Business women are just normal, nice, reasonable people.

Pam: He used to make dogs fight, or he actually fought dogs?
Dwight: A little of this, a little of that.

Angela: I’ve heard of this. Dog style.

Hank: This. Ends. Now!

Jan: Fine. I will show you one slideshow.

Erin: It makes it look like there’s an eyebrow in the middle of your face. Makes your mouth look like an eye socket. You look like a Cyclops whose eye fell out.

Jan: Don’t patronize me.
Pam: I’m so sorry. I hate this. You’re better.

Clark: Where’s the Quiznos?
Dwight: You’re the Quiznos.

Jan: And yes. Molly is crap.

Jan: Do you have a valid passport?

Dwight: You are my friend. And you are a woman. And women love gossip. It’s like air to you people.

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