The Office: Turf War, 8.23

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The Office: Turf Wars

Writers: Warren Lieberstein and Halsted Sullivan
Director: Daniel Chun

Summary (NBC): Who gets all the clients left behind — Andy takes a break from flambéing cherries and composing rock operas to jumpstart his Dunder Mifflin comeback. When Robert drunkenly shuts down a nearby branch, Jim and Dwight join forces to outsmart a salesman from Scranton’s uglier sister city. Guest stars: James Spader, Catherine Tate, Chris Bauer.

The Office Turf War extras

The Office Turf War rating

In a poll conducted May 3-7, 2012, Tallyheads rated this episode: 7.75/10

See all The Office Season 8 ratings.

The Office Turf War quotes

Gabe: Oh man, my delts are blasted.

Dwight: Protein powder, huh? Cut it with water? Why don’t you just take estrogen?

Dwight: Feast on this, Lewis!

Dwight: Jim, tell him where he stick his grapes!
Jim: In the fridge!

Robert: I had a one-man saturnalia last night.

Robert: In vino, veritas, as they say.

Nellie: The answer is yes, yes, yes, yes, and never.

Robert: Why don’t you list the things that would keep you from helping me.

Erin: Jim, Dwight, what are your last names?

Toby: I like to think Lloyd Gross is a no-nonsense guy who doesn’t back down from anybody. And he calls people “kemosabe.”

Robert: Shaping a company is, in a sense, similar to training a geisha.

Dwight: Does this thing have turbo? Nitrous? Hit the nos.
Jim: Nos? You mean like in “Fast and Furious”?

Angela: Hello, my clucking hens! Got room for another in the roost?

Angela: Robert sent me to take over if Pam fails. If?

Gabe: Sometimes I wonder if I have ovaries in my scrotum. Because I am great at girl talk.

Gabe: I think you’re going to need to have an Asian fetish, yeah. It’ll be upsetting if you don’t.

Andy: My wireless password is eatpraylove. Easy to remember.

Dwight: My pants fell down! I don’t have a belt!

Jim: Big Red Paper Company?

Dwight: Jim couldn’t land me in a thousand years.
Jim: But you’re saying there’s a chance?

Nellie: Can I do it, Pam? Can I pull off a gold Arabian sandal?

Nellie: Robert is a filthy beast.

Pam: Sometimes he talks about flesh. And bacchanals.

Nellie: Things are looking up. I might be a mother soon, I have Mastercard right where I want them, and I have a new friend. A friend. At work.

Dwight: Wait. You don’t even care about nationals.

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