The Office: Vandalism, 9.14

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The Office: Vandalism

Writer: Owen Ellickson, Director: Lee Kirk

Summary (NBC): Pam’s warehouse mural is defaced — when Pam asks the office to help her track down the vandal who defaced her mural, Dwight and Nellie spring to action. Darryl has difficulty dealing with the cleanliness habits of Jim in their shared Philly apartment. Meanwhile, Angela grudgingly allows Oscar and Kevin to attend her son’s first birthday party.

The Office Vandalism extras

The Office Vandalism rating

In a poll conducted January 31-February 4, 2013, Tallyheads rated this episode: 6.67/10

See all The Office Season 9 ratings.

The Office Vandalism quotes

Erin: Welcome to me and Darryl’s World of Lies.

Erin: Like the sneakiest little sneaky sneak you ever saw.

Erin: Darryl, meet Bear-ryl.

Pam: Are those, are those butts?

Oscar: As a politician in this town, you still need the conventional blonde wife on your lawn signs. He is risking everything to have me there today.

Angela: If you get to bring a stud, maybe I do, too.

Darryl: Just a couple of grown, sexy-ass roommates.

Darryl: I ordered them by their Google Trend Ranking so we know who to hit first.
Jim: Who is this guy. We are killing it.

Dwight: Super secret classified conference room meeting. Now!

Erin: Oh. They used worse paint than your paint.

Meredith: It’s 6782, not 83.
Creed: 6783’s also a good time. Less mileage.

Pam: Apparently, he is very passionate about public art.

Dwight: If there’s anything I hate worse than art, it’s crime.

Pam: I was hoping for a righteous mob, I ended up with Dwight and Nellie. But they both have a mob mentality, and I’m pretty sure Dwight has a pitchfork in his car.

Dwight: What is it? I have vengeance to exact.

Dwight: My fetish is signed drawings of butts.

Oscar: How can anyone that weighs less than a guinea hen be so terrifying?

Darryl: Reading is tricky sometimes.

Darryl: Are you going to wash it or are you going to let it soak?

Frank: I’m sorry I didn’t like your crappy doodles. I drew a butt. Big deal. Butts are funny.

Frank: You people can’t fire me. So screw you.

Dwight: Your little feelings party didn’t work out?

Pam: We should go scorched earth on that guy’s face.

Dwight: Normally, I find Pam to be a comforting, if unarousing, presence in the office. Like a well-watered fern.

Dwight: And I’m like, wow, Pam has kind of a good butt.

Dwight: He even looks like a mole.

Senator Lipton: It’s time that we bid bigotry hasta luego.

Darryl: What happened to my Tavis Smileys?

Dwight: Now go make your hands rough with work.

Darryl: Your husband is like a sloppy, homeless hobo.

Dwight: I have to say, I like hanging out with a vengeful bitch.
Pam: I know. You miss Angela, don’t you.

Dwight: Don’t sympathize, you’re ruining the mood.

Kevin: You suck. You’re like, a terrible person. These guys care about you, and you’re just using them. Again, the food was very good.

Brian: If you ever need me, you just call me, and I’ll be there for you.

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