The Office Webisodes: The Accountants
Thursday, September 7th, 2006 | 80 comments
‘The Accountants’ was written by Michael Schur and Paul Lieberstein, and directed by Randall Einhorn.
Sept. 7, 2006: #10, The Best Day of My Life
Dwight: I own it on DVD if you want to come by later. You can’t handle the truth! Just kidding, you can.
Kevin: Yeah … oh.
Angela: Very well. Case closed.
Oscar: Very well. Very well.
Kevin (barely able to contain himself): This is the best day of my life.
Aug. 31, 2006: #9, Michael’s Office
Kevin (using Michael’s megaphone): Attention! There is a lot of junk in here … over.
Angela: Don’t touch anything, you’ll leave fingerprints!
Oscar: If I were Michael, where would I hide a key to that drawer? — in this drawer.
Kevin: He has a snow globe drawer.
Oscar: And he keeps it locked.
Kevin: I’d lock it, too. That’s very embarrassing.
Angela: Put it back, Kevin. It’s not yours.
Kevin: I like it.
Oscar: Okay, this is pointless. Someone just has to talk to him.
Oscar and Kevin: Not it!
Angela: Hey, wait … (Oscar and Kevin make a hasty exit)
Angela (now sitting alone in Michael’s office, resigned): Not it.
August 24, 2006: #8, You’re Mean
Oscar: Basically we’re convinced that Michael took the missing $3,000. So we’re waiting until he leaves his office, so we can go in and search for evidence. When I say it out loud, it really doesn’t seem like a good idea.
Angela: I think people should be self-sufficient.
Brian: I think you’re mean.
Oscar: I’m going to the mall. Um, I need a new wok.
Angela: You know, I’m not mean. I’m just demanding. I’m sorry if I was mean.
Kevin: It’s okay.
Angela: Thank you.
Oscar: That … was … uncomfortable.
Kevin: This is so much fun.
Angela: It’s not supposed to be fun! Again … sorry.
Kevin (after doing a little dance towards Michael’s office): Get it?
Oscar: What is it?
Kevin: Animal House. (Oscar and Angela walk past Kevin without comment.) You guys are breaking my spirit.
August 17, 2006: #7, Things Are Getting Tense
Kevin: Oops. Um, I took that. And then I briefly lost it. But then the Pistons beat the Cavs, and so now I’m returning it all back. Go Pistons.
Angela: You gambled petty cash?
Kevin: Yeah, but I won, didn’t I?
Angela: That’s not the point! How are we supposed to believe you didn’t take the other $3,000?
Kevin: ‘Cause I’m telling you that I didn’t!
Kevin: You guys, this is stupid. We’re turning on each other. This is exactly what they want us to do.
Oscar: Who?
Kevin: The guys who stole the money.
August 10, 2006: #6, The Memo
Kevin: I didn’t steal $3,000 from petty cash. I am not stupid. If I wanted to steal from this company, there are a lot of easier ways to do it. For example, I could steal people’s coats, and sell them on eBay.
Angela: Did you talk to Kelly?
Oscar: Yes, she said she didn’t do it, then 45 minutes later, the conversation ended.
Angela: Do you know what “justified” means?
Kevin: Yeah, as in justifiable homicide.
Kevin: I finished my own memo. “Angela stinks.” (Titters.) I mean, I’m not handing it out or anything. And don’t tell her I said it, it’s just for me. In fact, forget that I said anything about it ever. Oh god, what have I done. (Whimpers.)
August 3, 2006: #5, Someone in the Warehouse
Angela: Yeah, I do think it’s someone in this office. Which really breaks my heart, to tell you the truth, because I thought we were all good people here.
Angela: Roy wouldn’t do it.
Kevin: How do you know?
Angela: He wouldn’t do it. He has too much character.
Kevin: You have a crush on Roy.
Angela: I do not! That is inapprobable, inappropriate.
Kevin: You have a crush on Roy! Unbelievable.
Angela: Stop it! Stop it right now!
Kevin: Does he excite you? Does he get your blood flowing?
Angela: Kevin …
Oscar: Rawr!
Kevin: Roy and Angela sittin’ in a tree, K-I-S …
Angela (walking by conference room): Kevin! Cut it out!
Kevin: Oh Roy, one more question: what do you think of Angela?
Oscar: You don’t have to answer that one.
Kevin: But you can if you want to.
Oscar: You don’t have to.
July 27, 2006: #4, Stanley
Stanley: I tell you what. If I find out who did it, I will shake their hand, pat them on the back, give them 72 hours to get out of the country, and then I’ll let you know who it is. Is there anything else?
Kevin: Angela thinks it’s an insult when she calls me a … genius, all sarcastic and what-not. But technically, guess what? I am a genius. When I was a kid, I took an I.Q. test, and I scored over a hundred. So … joke is on you, Angela.
Oscar: … and we were going to go watch “The Prince of Tides.”
Kevin: Why?
Oscar: Well … we don’t like it, we make fun of it. It’s like our “Rocky Horror Picture” thing we do … (laughing)
Kevin: Right.
July 20, 2006: #3, Meredith
Angela: It’s better to be embarrassed by the truth now, than to go to jail for it later.
Meredith: If I stole $3,000, I wouldn’t be here. I’d be on a beach, in Jamaica, drinking Red Stripe.
Kevin: Ooh I love Red Stripe.
Oscar: I thought you had two kids.
Meredith: My ex-husband took Wendy. The good one.
July 13, 2006: #2, Phyllis
Kevin: OH MY GOD.
Angela: I knew it.
Phyllis: My boyfriend Bob Vance from Vance Refrigeration gave me a Vance Refrigeration credit card. Only for emergencies.
Kevin: An emergency like … you have an ice cream cake and you’re in the sun and it’s melting?
Angela: You don’t use it to buy refrigerators, Kevin!
Kevin: Don’t yell at me.
July 13, 2006: #1, The Books Don’t Balance
Angela: It is not an accounting error! Well … it was not my accounting error.
Kevin: This is the first I’ve heard of it. They never tell me anything. (Smiles) I like it that way.
Angela: Michael said to stop by on the way out.
Kevin: Ooh, has anyone in the office bought anything nice recently?
Angela: That’s a very nice watch, Oscar.
Oscar: Yes, it is. My grandfather left it to me when he died.
Angela: I’ve never seen it before. He must have died very recently.
Oscar: Yes he did, actually. About three weeks ago.
Kevin reaches for Oscar’s hand across the table; Oscar reaches back.
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That’s just it- it’s not supposed to go anywhere. This happens all the time in the regular episodes. Hardly anything ever comes from anything at Dunder Mifflin- except characters becoming more and more like themselves. And that alone is worth watching. Way to go, Oscar and Kevin! Two more weeks!
Lame. Seems like NBC put this lame plotline together to get some extra advertising dollars from FedEx Kinkos and Yaris while putting VERY limited dollars into production.
The final webisode? Worst-Day-Ever. Not clever. Not funny. Not worth the 10 weeks of watching the entire crummy plotline.
Hope the writing for the upcoming season doesn’t follow suit.
What a crappy payoff for the ending.
Wow. Until September 21st, lets just say this was the best day of my life.
Oh, and this is the second time this exchange has happened:
{Oscar informs Angela of something}
Angela: Oh.
Keving: Yeah, oh.
Well, I’d really like to watch them in succession. 2 Weeks left!!!
J
Completely different reactions here and on Northern Attack. I side with the sentiment here… loved it.
Fantastic - Kevin was great in this one.
hahahhaa that was brilliant. i love the semi-hidden near-hysterical glee in kevin’s voice at the end. and angela’s inability to apologize for leading them on a wild goose chase. and dwight…
And to think that Angela could’ve avoided the Roy situation, the “you’re mean” situation, the obvious lie about the necklace– all if she had just been a little more of a perfectionist. Oh, the irony! Similar to when Ryan, of all people, started the fire. Except we felt sorry for him.
wow best webisode of my life. the end was amazing. “this is the best day of my life” hahaha
I’ve decided I think I know what happened. Michael spent the 3000 on the snowglobes which he was planning on giving out as a surprise to his employees, and didnt file the report yet as to not spoil the surprise, thus the missing money.
The one blaring flaw: $3000 for snowglobes? Sheesh.
My company gave out snow globes to people who showed up for work during a blizzard a couple years ago. You can almost see Michael Scott conceiving that morale booster: “My comic genius and this snow globe will make these sad workers happy that they risked their lives to come to work on a day most people were smart enough to stay home.”
A Dunder-Mifflin snow globe on my desk would be a very cool counterpoint to those blizzard globes.
i thought the same thing about the snow globes!
You gotta be right, Sara. And just in time for the holiday season, right? :)
Do you think they showed the Dunder Mifflin snow globes in hopes that the fans would want them like they did with the Dwight bobblehead?
Because it worked… Where do I get one?
Well, it only took me roughly 20 minutes to watch the whole thing on my computer at home, but oh well. J, great analogy!
Ketch-ner
Double post, and unrelated to the webisodes, so, two strikes in one post, but does any one know how to pronounce David Koechner (Todd Packer)’s last name?
J
Eh. It wasn’t great, but it sets up well for an exciting webisode 10. webisode 9:webisodes::harry potter 5:the harry potter books. someone smart will understand that. The key line was pretty funny, and so true of michael.
And, John and Jenna had once pointed out the Seyko cirtificate in an interview with Kristen from E!, but Im amused that its now official canon.
Love!
J
The real question is…how can I get my hands on one of those Dunder Mifflin snow globes?
Wow, tanster, Quicken’s huge…you get a piece of that? ;)
Even though very little “happened” in this webisode, I think it’s a fav. The mommy/child dynamic with Kevin & Angela makes me laugh.
Props for Quicken — I *worked* on Quicken!
Okay, I’m a geek.