The Office: Weight Loss, 5.01-02

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The Office Weight Loss

Writers: Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky
Director: Paul Feig

Summary (NBC): A weight loss initiative causes the branch to become obsessed with their weight. Michael pursues a friendship with Holly. Jim misses Pam who attends art school in New York. One-hour long.

The Office Weight Loss extras

The Office Weight Loss rating

In a poll conducted Sept. 25-29, Tallyheads rated this episode: 8.92/10

See all The Office Season 5 ratings.

The Office Weight Loss quotes

Andy: I really want to have washboard abs the first time Angela sees me naked.

Dwight: Wait a minute. One more bite of eclair each. Hold it in your mouth if you can’t swallow.
Jim (to Michael): Really? Nothing?

Kevin: Pam, you weigh 226 pounds?

Jim: Friends don’t talk about other friends’ butts.

Michael: Her butt refuses to quit!

Holly: I’m not a lesbian. I don’t know why I said that. Stupid joke.
Oscar: What’s the joke?

Pam: I will be a little fish in the Big Apple. What up, 2-1-2?

Andy: Ang … ela. Ela, ela, ela, under my Angerella. Ela, ela, ay, ay, ay.

Andy: Every little boy fantasizes about his fairy tale wedding.

Andy: This is where my parents decided not to get divorced.

Angela: I have a fiance I very much like!

Michael: The last word is “seagulls.”

Jim: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Michael is actually killing it with Holly. And I think I know why. It’s because Holly is kind of a major dork.

Jim: I don’t really know Ronnie. But I have a feeling I will get to know her very well over the next few years. And eventually declare my love for her.

Teacher: I accidentally switched my alarm clock’s setting to Zapf Chancery.

Kelly: Gonna look amazing!

Jan: Oh, they found her?

Holly: Who’s that woman in Michael’s office with the feet?

Angela: A G.D. monkey could do it.

Kevin: Wait, back up. Do you think that I’m retarded?

Angela: Dangerous, tacky, sharks, haunted.

Angela: I have a nice comforter and several cozy pillows. I usually read a chapter of a book, and it’s lights out by 8:30. That’s how I sleep at night.

Dwight: Okay, can you turn the girl off, please? I’m trying to get some work done.

Michael: We call her Rice-a-Ronnie.

Pam: The nerve.

Pam: Can you give me back to Jim now, please?

Michael: I once went 28 years without having sex. And then again for seven years.

Dwight: Shotgun weddings.
Jim: That’s not what that is.

Jim: Cryogenics. Beer me five.

Ronnie: Does anyone want to dance?

Kelly: I swallowed a tapeworm last night.

Creed: That wasn’t a tapeworm.

Kevin: Fire-ed Guy.

Jim: You’re talking about your court-ordered community service?

Michael: Ah, the dreadmill.

Pam’s friend: I just didn’t like eating dinner that early.

Phyllis: Phyllis Vance for David Wallace.

Dwight: I say I say I say, I sit on you.

Dwight: Vamping.

Ryan: She’s perfect.

Phyllis: I wonder what people like about me. Probably my jugs.

Kelly: I hate this worm inside of me!

Jim: How’s your summer?

Michael: We are the Goatee-less Brothers.

Dwight: Neither of us will write the other up for not working.

Michael: I always call everybody back right away.

Andy: They’re collectively my best man.

Andy: Boner Champ. That’s me.

Jim: I just … I can’t wait.

Andy: Wet Tuna!

Icon courtesy of pessimistreader at LiveJournal.


  1. So much happened. I need to process it all tonight and then re-watch it on tomorrow.
    Not a bad day.

  2. Oh my goodness…words cannot describe how utterly happy I am. Pure gold. Everyone involved in making this episode is an absolute genius! Thank you so much for such an awesome episode!

  3. “Just hold it in your mouth if you can’t swallow…”

    Such a great season opener. If there is a way to make Holly stay, I will do anything to make it happen. She is Michael’s perfect match in every way. I would hate to see him have a woman who would accept him in every way and let her go because of Jan. Clinically insane Jan. Ugh. Please Office. Make it happen.

    “I just couldn’t wait.”

    My heart soars with the eagle’s nest right now. Thank you Office writers! Thank you thank you thank you!

  4. This was simply amazing…. not my favorite episode but it brings a smile to my face just knowing that The Office is back!

  5. Simply amazing for a season opener. Love the development of the background characters. Hated the return of Ryan, though, lol. I felt sooo bad for Andy for the first time ever and it’s only gonna be a matter of time before Pam creates another triangle for herself. The season 2 storyline seems to be repeating itself. Hmmmmm…….

  6. Thanks Gene & Lee for a great episode. Well worth the wait. Everything about it was perfect – except what’s the deal with Meredith’s face in the beginning of the episode? I hope there’s a deleted scene to address that. Awesome job guys.

  7. I loved it! But what was with Meredith’s face in the beginning? It was like sun burn but raised and I kept waiting for it to be mentioned. Also, when Jim was eating lunch with Holly and Michael in the break room I’m pretty sure Michael didn’t have a goatee and then later on he did again. Ryan the temp! And JAM made me cry! Definitely a great start to the new season.

  8. Just solid, solid writing. After all the hype of the big proposal, it ended up being spontaneous in the middle of the afternoon, in the pouring rain – at a gas station no less. Brilliant.

    Also real quick – Dwight kicking the birthday cake while saying “Happy Birthday Stanley” was easily the funniest moment of many.

  9. Did anyone else notice when Jim gets down on one knee to propose, Pam asks “What are you doing”? It was like a call-back to the Casino Night moment when Jim tells her he loves her and she asks “What are you doing”? I thought that was cute, not sure if it was planned, just a neat reference to the first time he tells her he loves her, to asking her to marry him!!

  10. the highlights for me….

    dwight leaving phyllis

    and of course the big one.. Pam and Jim’s engagement.

    I gave a dwight fist pump when i saw it..i’m pumped

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