The Office: Weight Loss, 5.01-02

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The Office Weight Loss

Writers: Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky
Director: Paul Feig

Summary (NBC): A weight loss initiative causes the branch to become obsessed with their weight. Michael pursues a friendship with Holly. Jim misses Pam who attends art school in New York. One-hour long.

The Office Weight Loss extras

The Office Weight Loss rating

In a poll conducted Sept. 25-29, Tallyheads rated this episode: 8.92/10

See all The Office Season 5 ratings.

The Office Weight Loss quotes

Andy: I really want to have washboard abs the first time Angela sees me naked.

Dwight: Wait a minute. One more bite of eclair each. Hold it in your mouth if you can’t swallow.
Jim (to Michael): Really? Nothing?

Kevin: Pam, you weigh 226 pounds?

Jim: Friends don’t talk about other friends’ butts.

Michael: Her butt refuses to quit!

Holly: I’m not a lesbian. I don’t know why I said that. Stupid joke.
Oscar: What’s the joke?

Pam: I will be a little fish in the Big Apple. What up, 2-1-2?

Andy: Ang … ela. Ela, ela, ela, under my Angerella. Ela, ela, ay, ay, ay.

Andy: Every little boy fantasizes about his fairy tale wedding.

Andy: This is where my parents decided not to get divorced.

Angela: I have a fiance I very much like!

Michael: The last word is “seagulls.”

Jim: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Michael is actually killing it with Holly. And I think I know why. It’s because Holly is kind of a major dork.

Jim: I don’t really know Ronnie. But I have a feeling I will get to know her very well over the next few years. And eventually declare my love for her.

Teacher: I accidentally switched my alarm clock’s setting to Zapf Chancery.

Kelly: Gonna look amazing!

Jan: Oh, they found her?

Holly: Who’s that woman in Michael’s office with the feet?

Angela: A G.D. monkey could do it.

Kevin: Wait, back up. Do you think that I’m retarded?

Angela: Dangerous, tacky, sharks, haunted.

Angela: I have a nice comforter and several cozy pillows. I usually read a chapter of a book, and it’s lights out by 8:30. That’s how I sleep at night.

Dwight: Okay, can you turn the girl off, please? I’m trying to get some work done.

Michael: We call her Rice-a-Ronnie.

Pam: The nerve.

Pam: Can you give me back to Jim now, please?

Michael: I once went 28 years without having sex. And then again for seven years.

Dwight: Shotgun weddings.
Jim: That’s not what that is.

Jim: Cryogenics. Beer me five.

Ronnie: Does anyone want to dance?

Kelly: I swallowed a tapeworm last night.

Creed: That wasn’t a tapeworm.

Kevin: Fire-ed Guy.

Jim: You’re talking about your court-ordered community service?

Michael: Ah, the dreadmill.

Pam’s friend: I just didn’t like eating dinner that early.

Phyllis: Phyllis Vance for David Wallace.

Dwight: I say I say I say, I sit on you.

Dwight: Vamping.

Ryan: She’s perfect.

Phyllis: I wonder what people like about me. Probably my jugs.

Kelly: I hate this worm inside of me!

Jim: How’s your summer?

Michael: We are the Goatee-less Brothers.

Dwight: Neither of us will write the other up for not working.

Michael: I always call everybody back right away.

Andy: They’re collectively my best man.

Andy: Boner Champ. That’s me.

Jim: I just … I can’t wait.

Andy: Wet Tuna!

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