The Office: WUPHF.COM, 7.09

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The Office Wuphf

Writer: Aaron Shure, Director: Danny Leiner

Summary (NBC): More than money is at stake as Michael helps charm people into investing in Ryan’s internet company. Dwight capitalizes on both the Thanksgiving holiday and his childhood memories by creating a hay festival in the parking lot, while Jim discovers that a new Dunder Mifflin policy prevents him from earning commission. Guest stars: Kathy Bates, Jack Coleman. Part of NBC’s Green Week November 14-21, 2010.

The Office WUPHF.COM extras

The Office WUPHF.COM rating

In a poll conducted November 18-22, 2010, Tallyheads rated this episode: 7.66/10

See all The Office Season 7 ratings.

The Office WUPHF.COM quotes

Dwight: Everyone, follow me to the shelter. We’ve got enough food for 14 days. After that, we have a difficult conversation.

Michael: Okay, moving backwards, our IT guys have been Glasses, Turban, Ear Hair, Fatty 3, Shorts, Fatty 2, Lozenge, and Fatso.

Kevin: Big Boobs?
Meredith: Drama Queen?
Angela: Nosy?

Dwight: Try “big boobs” with a “z.”

Ryan: When you send a Wuphf, it goes to your home phone, cell phone, email, Facebook, Twitter, and home screen. All at the same time.

Erin: I don’t want to be a lousy snitch.

Pam: Hey, I married Jim, I’ve done my part for the nice guy. Now I want a bedroom set.

Michael: Don’t you work here full time?

Dwight: This is good hay. Yeah. This is the good stuff. Mattress quality.

Dwight: Every fall, growing up, my Uncle Eldred used to build us a maze out of hay bales for us kids to play in. We called it Hay Place. Eldred called it Hay World.

Dwight: Welcome to Hay Place. A place for hay.

Dwight: The petting zoo closes at 2 and the goat roast is at 3!

Angela: I’m kind of in the mood for a roll in the hay.

Dwight: I’ve got half an hour during lunch in between the historical reenactment of the Dunmore farm slaughters and the onion boil.

Dwight: Those are show bales, not play bales!

Jim: If I can make mushed carrots seem better than a boob, I can pretty much sell anything.

Kevin: I’m pretty sure I timesed it right.

Jim: A commission cap takes away my incentive to sell.

Gabe: When you’re dealing with a large organization, sometimes you have to put up with policies you don’t like. I wish my gym didn’t allow full nudity in the locker room. Seeing these old guys walking around naked feels almost passive-aggressive. But I deal with it. ‘Cause it’s policy.

Gabe: Think about your commission cap as a naked old man in a gym locker room.

Kevin: You had me at sex.
Michael: Pervert.

Stanley: Yes, I have a dream. And it’s not some MLK dream for equality. I want to own a decommissioned lighthouse. And I want to live at the top. And nobody knows I live there. And there’s a button that I can press. And launch that lighthouse into space.

Phyllis: Oh god. Hold on to your wallets, ladies.

Ryan: It’s not a digital rape whistle. WUPHF is about fun! Fun, communication, connection.

Dwight: I always wanted to be Hay King. But the world shines on Mose.

Ryan: What’s up with all the hotties in the WUPHF shirts?

Ryan: The first lesson of Silicon Valley, actually, is that you only think about the user. The experience. You actually don’t think about the money. Ever.

Ryan: I help you with your things, and you help me with my things.

Angela: Instead of Hay Place, it should be Pay Place.

Angela: We can celebrate Thanksgiving-Me-Your-Money Day.

Michael: Can’t talk, saving the planet, saving the planet.
Pam: Oh, we don’t recycle.
Michael: We don’t? Well why have I been separating the trash into whites and colors?

Michael: You may be right. I may be crazy.
Pam: Don’t.

Meredith: Hey, back off. It’s Solitaire.

Creed: How far can you reach those lovely long arms of yours?

Creed: How long can you hold that pretty little breath of yours?

Ryan: I have nothing but ideas.

Ryan: I know I’ve tapped you so hard.
Michael: Yes, you have tapped this. Hard.

Dwight: I am your Hay King. All hail your Hay King!

Dwight: Did I truck 300 bales of hay to a parking lot to rectify some childhood disappointment? Yes.

Darryl: Consider it a WUPHF in person.

Darryl: It’s not that we don’t believe in the company. We don’t believe in you.

Michael: I do not agree to sell, which is to say, nay.

Darryl: What is wrong with you? What happened to you in high school?

Michael: I would rather go broke betting on my people than get rich all by myself on some island like a castaway. And there is no middle ground.

Michael: The world sends people your way. Ryan came to me through a temp agency. Andy was transferred here. No idea where Creed came from. The point is, you just have to play with the cards that you’re dealt. Jim, that guy is an ace. Dwight is my king up my sleeve. Phyllis is my old maid. Oscar is my queen. That’s easy. Give me a hard one. That’s what Oscar said. Toby is the instruction card you throw away. Pam’s a solid seven. And yeah, you know what? Ryan is probably, like a two. But sometimes twos can be wild. So watch out. I am obviously the joker.

Ryan: Decided to sell company. Thanks, bro. Hell of a ride.

Icon provided by pessimistreader.


  1. @Ryan The Office is still Dunder Mifflin, it is just known as Dunder Mifflin Sabre. The company is still bought out.

  2. Jo being around for an episode focusing on Ryan’s shenanigans doesn’t bode well for him, especially if “more than money is at stake”.

    I hope I’m wrong :(

  3. Being Canadian, I’m always thrown off by the Thanksgiving theme days aired on nearly every channel more than a month after I’ve celebrated it. :P

    This episode looks like it’ll be a lot of fun! Just the word “wuphf” makes me laugh every time I see it.


    – Great episode! Loved it all!
    – Classical Dwight crowning himself King and the needle in a hay stack..
    – The cold open was funny..
    – Kevin gets lost.
    – Angela’s new romance?
    – Ryan’s business. Michael sort of getting over his man crush on Ryan.
    – Michael telling us what thinks about his co-workers.
    – And of course.. Jim’s goofing and prank on Gabe!

    Great episode all together

  5. Great episode. The Dwight Hay King stuff was a little distarcting but the Michael/ Ryan was a pure joy to watch. It was great to see some of Michael’s hero worship issues with Ryan resolved.

  6. Pretty good episode. Though, I was laughing out loud when Kevin was lost in the maze.


  7. Ryan and Michael are always so hard to watch because of the unrequited affection on Michael’s end. I’m just relieved it had a (sort of) happy ending. It wasn’t particularly funny, but I love watching their “relationship” so much it’s definitely been the best episode of the season for me, by far.

    Seeing slacker/prankster Jim and Kevin running around the maze didn’t hurt either.

  8. I thought this one was okay. The premise of Jim maxing out on his commissions seems funny enough, but if money is tight why wouldn’t he just make the sales and give Pam the credit (I assume she’s still in sales in addition to her role as office administrator).

    Since when did they quit recycling? What happened to Recyclops? Although Michael’s line about dividing into whites and colors was great.

    I like the new romantic interest for Angela.

    I’m glad Michael’s finally realized some things about Ryan. It took long enough. And I’m glad we found out the inspiration for WUPHF. That was clever. Michael pulled out a mini-Broke like performance with Ryan.

    My problem: Paul Lieberstein said the first half of the season would be a celebration of Michael Scott. But it seems like we’re treading water with Michael until Holly returns. He just keeps getting whacked over the head with realizations about people and his life. It’s getting a bit repetitive.

  9. It was a good episode! The episode was unrealistic with the hay stuff, but I thought it was funny. It was another solid episode. If the season can stay like this for the rest of the year with a few glimpses of genius, we have a season that is the best since Season 4.

  10. Wow, that was solid from start to finish. Probably the closest to “old school” Office we’ve seen this year. All hail the Hay King!

  11. Pretty freakin’ amazing episode!!!!! Absolutely awesome!!!!! I loved all the scenes in it. Jim being kinda shunned by everybody and finally pulling a prank on Gabe by the end of the episode, was funny. Dwight’s scenes with his hay world were great, too. So was Angela’s encounter with Jack Coleman’s character. And Kevin getting lost in the maze, was pretty damn funny too. The Michael/Ryan/Pam/Andy/Stanley/Darryl sequence was definitely spectacular. Wuphf!

  12. eh.

    while i like pranking jim, i did not like immature jim. farting noises with his mouth? really jim? REALLY?!

    loved his talking head about “selling” carrots to cece, though.

    i’m liking the new guy for angela, too.

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