Threat Level: Midnight is the name of an action movie screenplay written by Michael Scott.
Summary written by and quotes manually transcribed by tanster. :)
Michael Scott and his boss Jan Levenson dine with a potential client, Christian (guest star Tim Meadows), at Chili’s. Michael calls Pam to find the joke book in his desk drawer and read him aloud some jokes that he can tell Christian to break the ice.
While putting Michael’s joke book back in his desk drawer, Pam accidentally happens upon Michael’s Threat Level: Midnight script and shows it to Jim.
Jim: Is this real?
Pam: It is a screenplay. Starring himself.
Jim: Agent Michael Scarn.
Pam: Of the FBI.
Jim: How long is this? Oh, Pam! Good work! Oh, wait, stop. Drawings.
Pam: What is that?
Jim: Oh, those are drawings. In case the writing didn’t really put a picture in your head. And there he is. In the flesh. Agent Michael Scarn. Now we know what he looks like.
Jim then leads the office in a table reading of the script.
Jim: Let’s get this started. I’m going to be reading the action descriptions. And Phyllis, I would like you to play Catherine Zeta-Jones.
Phyllis: That’s the character’s name?
Jim: Inside the FBI, Agent Michael Scarn sits with his feet up on his desk. Catherine Zeta-Jones enters.
Phyllis: Sir, you have some messages.
Dwight: Not now!
Phyllis: They’re important.
Dwight: Okay. What are they?
Phyllis: First message is, “I love you.” That’s from me.
Dwight: Not in a thousand years, Catherine, we work together. And get off my desk!
Dwight: If it isn’t my old partner, Samuel L. Chang.
Ryan: Agent Michael Scarn, you lost some weight.
Dwight: Thank you for noticing. Now, keep me company for one more mission.
Ryan: As soon as I blow out these candles, I’m retired.
Jim: Michael Scarn takes out a nine-millimeter gun and shoots the cake.
Ryan: Ha ha ha, Agent Michael Scarn, you so funny. Word.
Jim: A man, sitting several seats down, who has a gold face, turns to Michael Scarn. Oscar, do you want to play Goldenface?
Oscar: Mr. Scarn, perhaps you would be more comfortable in my private jet.
Dwight: Yes, perhaps I would, Golden Face. Sam, get my luggage.
Ryan: I forget it, brother.
Dwight: Samuel, you are such an idiot, you are the worst assistant ever. And you’re disgusting, Dwigt. Wait, who’s Dwigt?
Pam: Here’s what we think happened. Michael’s sidekick, who all through the movie is this complete idiot who’s causing the downfall of the United States, was originally named “Dwight.” But then Michael changed it to “Samuel L. Chang” using a search and replace, but that doesn’t work on misspelled words, leaving behind one “Dwigt.” And Dwight figured it out. Oops.
Season 2: The Client deleted scene
Jim: Bullets are flying everywhere. Ooh. Wait. Last page. Big finish. Here we go. Agent Scarn kicks open the plane door with a karate chop.
Dwight: A kick and a chop are two totally different things.
Jim: Well, it’s just a movie, Dwigt.
Dwight: It doesn’t make any sense.
Oscar: Yeah. Now it doesn’t make any sense.
Ryan: Don’t jump, Agent Scarn. There are no parachutes.
Jim: Just then Agent Chang gets a bullet in the head.
Pam: Oh, so close to retirement!
Jim: Another bullet heads towards Agent Michael Scarn. But he jumps out of the plane without a parachute.
Ryan: Is that it?
Jim: Yup. I guess so.
Phyllis: Does he die?
Pam: I sincerely doubt it.
Angela: I have to say, I think this is a terrible movie.
Season 2: The Client DVD commentary
- Greg Daniels states that he drew Michael’s Threat Level: Midnight sketches himself!
- Brian Baumgartner states the table reading scene was filmed for a significantly long amount of time, during which they had to improvise their lines while looking like they were reading from a script.
Michael: We have a lot of angry customers out there. This puts us at Threat Level Midnight. Accounting, you are on customer service duty today.
Co-worker: Dude, you should review movies.
Michael: I actually wrote a movie.
Michael: I’m writing one, yeah.
Co-worker: What’s it about?
Michael: Sort of a spy thriller.
Michael: James Bond Fire. I am Bond Fire, James Bond Fire. Michael Scarn!
Michael: Jan thinks Hunter is very talented. You know what? I don’t think he’s that good.
Jan: At least he’s an artist.
Michael: B.F.D. I’m a screenwriter.
Michael: My name is Michael Scarn. I am a local business owner and I would like to find out about your company.
According to a January 2011 TV Guide article:
[This episode] will see the returns of alums Melora Hardin (Jan), Rashida Jones (Karen), David Denman (Roy) and Andy Buckley (David), with almost everyone playing roles in the action/thriller. Acting alongside Michael’s Agent Michael Scarn will be Dwight, as his possibly robotic butler Samuel; Jim made up as arch nemesis Goldenface, Jan as femme fatale Jasmine; Pam as Hostage #1 and Darryl as The President. “Michael has been working on this weekends and nights for the past seven years and you’ll get to see a significant portion of the movie,” says supervising producer Justin Spitzer.
Michael’s movie was shown in The Office Season 7 episode, Threat Level Midnight.
Michael: Get this, Kevin thought I was going to sell my Bowflex for $200, and I told him, dude, this was a prop in my movie.