This week on The Office, new collided with old, and small business was knocked down by mockups, thumbnails, and splash frames. Oh, and Michael drove his car into a BLEEPing lake.
Dunder Mifflin is transforming into Dunder Mifflin Infinity and with it, came Ryan’s return to Scranton. Michael had high hopes for Ryan from the minute he walked through Dunder Mifflin’s doors. He dreamed of mentoring him, hanging out on the weekends, and if we are being totally honest here, kissing him full on the lips — just once.
But this week, as Kelly so perfectly named him, “Fancy New Whatever” moved those hopes and dreams to the recycle bin. Ryan came to town with a beard and a plan: to sleep with Pam and put this paper company on the Internet.
There are a couple of things wrong with Michael: 1) he is crazy, and 2) he doesn’t like change. In his mind, the Internet isn’t for business; it’s for WebMD and sending a video of a monkey peeing in its own face.
But once again this week, we also got a small glimpse as to why Michael is a terrible boss, but a great salesman. He knew details about former clients’ lives that a big business website would never know. Of course, he negated the positive by rubbing lake sludge onto their leather furniture, but that goes back to the crazy part.
Ryan never made a sale while he was in Scranton, but his broader business sense shows he has potential to be a good boss. He made it through an entire presentation without referencing Tom Hanks or insulting anyone in the room. Impressive. Now if he would stop trying to sleep with every woman in the office, we’d be in business.
While Michael and Ryan were fighting to mark their territory, Jim and Pam were busy being so freaking adorable I want to carry them around in my pocket. The kiss, the lunch, the high-five — everything. I know there’s concern now that they are together they will lose the tension and chemistry. I don’t want to speak for anyone else, but I could watch them all day — like puppies in a store window. Toby, however, has lost some of his charm.
Now that Jim and Pam can finally be cute, it looks like Angela and Dwight will be sacrificed — at least for now. When most boyfriends do something stupid like commit pet homicide, they give flowers; Dwight gave Angela a squirmy barn-cat named “Garbage.” I hope Dwight can turn this around and eventually melt his cold “Monkey.” It was sweet to see him so upset over their break-up — and her adequate accounting skills.
Michael seems less scared of Jan these days. I enjoyed that he confided in her — until she taught him a new word. Michael’s idea of fighting ageism is to insult the Dunder of Dunder Mifflin and then endanger his life. I’ll admit, it was still a better course of action than Creed turning into Fancy New Crazy-Old-Guy.
Michael’s disdain of computers and inability to change only resulted in seven rejections from former clients, pockets filled with lake algae, and probably a restraining order from Stone, Cooper & Grandy. Gift baskets are only good for Easter … and the Emmys.
I think after Michael goes home, takes a nice hot shower, and maybe has a heart-to-heart with Harvey, he’ll come around to realize that if he and Ryan can find a middle ground, they might finally get along after all.
I’m not holding my breath for that kiss.
Tori Weber is a Web Producer and writer for a television news station in Orlando, FL. Writing keeps her sane, and ice cream makes her happy. Dogs are good too. Visit her here.