The Office: Take Your Daughter to Work Day, 2.18

Thursday, March 16th, 2006 | 39 comments


W: Mindy Kaling, D: Victor Nelli, Jr.

Summary: Michael makes a new friend, Pam shares the joys of shredding, Ryan experiences a different side of Stanley, and Phyllis gets mistaken for Mother Goose.

Take Your Daughter to Work Day quotes

Pam: I am actually looking forward to “Take Your Daughter to Work” day. I am not great with kids, but I want to get better. Because I’m getting married. So I put out a bunch of extra candy on my desk so the kids will come talk to me. Like the witch in “Hansel and Gretel.”

Michael: Listen, I like kids. But this is not a kids’ environment. This is like HBO, no limits. Who knows what I’m going to say, crazy stuff, and it is R-rated, it is not rated G. I am like Eddie Murphy in “Raw,” and they are trying to make me into Eddie Murphy in “Daddy Daycare.” Both great movies, but still.

Michael: I am … like Superman. And the people who work here are like citizens of Gotham City.
Jim and Dwight (in unison): That’s Batman.
Michael: Okay, I’m Aquaman. Where does he live, guys?
Jim: The ocean.
Michael (under his breath, as he walks into his office): I work with a bunch of nerds.

Dwight: Mmmm. Hello tiny one.
Toby (to Sasha): C’mon.
Dwight: You are the future!

Kevin: Abby is my fiancee Stacy’s daughter. I think she’ll have a good time. I just hope she doesn’t look on my computer. Actually I better go check … (leaves abruptly).

Michael: It’s not that children make me uncomfortable. It’s just that, why be a dad when you can be a fun uncle? I’ve never heard of anyone rebelling against their fun uncle.

Meredith: I got permission to bring Jake into work. Which is great, because he got suspended this week, and now I don’t have to pay for a sitter.

Toby: Okay, tell them what you wanted to say.
Sasha: Do you need any help?
Angela: No, thanks. We’d have to explain everything, it’s probably just easier if we do it ourselves.
Toby (to Sasha): Alright, I wasn’t expecting that. Let’s uh, let’s go draw.

Kelly: Oh my god, she is so cute, I want to die. Don’t you just love kids, Angela?
Angela: I guess I wouldn’t mind a pair of small, well-behaved boys.

Ryan: Kelly and I both agreed that we would just have fun. And I’m learning that fun for Kelly is getting married and having babies. Immediately. With me.

Pam: I only have one goal today. To make one kid like me. Just one.

Jim: You don’t want to help me with some of my sales, do you? Cause … I’m kind of swamped.
Abby: Sure.
Jim: Really?
Abby: Mmm-hmmm.
Jim: Yes. And you’re Abby, right?
Abby: Yeah.
Jim: I’m Jim. (Jim and Abby high-five.) And … let’s sell some paper.
Abby: All right.
Jim: Let’s start with … your mom.

Dwight: Little girl, come over here. Shake my hand. C’mon, I don’t have all day. (Abby shakes his hand.) I don’t feel anything. Nothing. (To Jim) You’re so weak.

Dwight: You can refer to me as Mr. Schrute.
Jake: That’s your name?
Dwight: Mmm-hmmm.
Jake: Mr. Poop?
Dwight: Schrute. Mr. Schrute.
Jake: Sure, Mr. Poop.
Dwight: Schrute. (Jim and Abby giggle.)

Sasha (to Phyllis): Are you Mother Goose?

Stanley: That little girl is a child! I don’t want see you sniffing around her anymore this afternoon, do you understand? Boy, have you lost your mind, cause I’ll help you find it, whatcha looking for, ain’t nobody gonna help you out there, Jesus could come through that door, he’s not going to help you, if you don’t stop sniffing after my child!

Ryan: Stanley yelled at me today. That was one of the most frightening experiences of my life.

Dwight: That was Greensleeves, a traditional English ballad about the beheaded Anne Boleyn.

Sasha: What’s a Nazi?

Michael: Who likes Dane Cook?

Michael: Children cannot lie. They are innocent, and they speak the truth. And out of the mouths of babes, Michael Scott is freaking cool.

Angela: You know, I never misbehaved in front of my father. Because he was a very strict disciplinarian. I can only hope my mate has some of those same qualities.

Michael: This is Creed, and he is in charge of … something.
Creed: That is correct.

Creed: You ever seen a foot with four toes?

Creed: The hair covers it up, most of it.

Michael: Thank you, Ryan. Good attitude. Hottest in the office.

Michael: I don’t get why parents are always complaining about how tough it is to raise kids. I joke around with them, you give them pizza, you give them candy, you let them live their lives. They’re adults, for godsake.

Michael: That is Miss Trudy. Can’t tell from her costume, but she had an amazing body.

Darryl: Checkin’ in with Chet. Doppler 7.

Edward R. Meow: So tell me, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Michael: I want to be married and have a hundred kids, so I can have a hundred friends, and no one can say no to being my friend.

Melissa: Did you get married?
Michael: Uh … no.
Abby: Why not?
Michael: Uh … just never happened.
Sasha: So, do you have any kids?
Michael: Uh … nope.
Jake: Do you have a girlfriend?
Michael: I do okay.
Melissa: Was Chet Montgomery cool back then?
Jake: Even I have a girlfriend …
Michael: Okay, alright, okay.
Sasha: So you didn’t get to be what you wanted to be.
Michael: I guess not.

Jim: Can’t believe his mom dressed him like that. That’s the real tragedy.

Jake: Mr. Poop, I have to tell you something.
Dwight: Uh okay, but first, that’s not my name.
Jake: You’re ugly. (Laughs)
Dwight: Well at least I’m not a horrible little latchkey kid who got suspended from school, so … (looks at Jake menacingly)
Jake (running away): Meredith!
Dwight (imitating Jake): Meredith! (Angela gives Dwight an approving smile, and then realizes the camera is on her, frowns, and turns away.)

Michael: You know, sure, playing the field is great, don’t get me wrong, but there’s more to life than notches on my bedpost. (Toby snickers quietly.) Tell me something honestly, do you … think that it is too late for me to have kids.
Toby: Well, you, you need a wife first, or at least girlfriend.
Michael: What about …
Toby: Not Jan.
Michael: Jan, okay.
Toby: If you really want to have kids, I, I guess you could, somehow … foster parent, or something …
Michael: Or biologically.
Toby: Somehow.

Michael: Yes, it is true. I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it, and I am going to do it. I need a user name, and, I have a great one. Little Kid Lover. That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at.

Jim: Why does he own a guitar if he doesn’t know how to play?
Pam: I think he thought his ukelele skills would transfer.

Dwight: The Schrutes consider children very valuable. In the olden days, the women would bear many children, so we would have enough laborers to work the fields. And if it was an especially cold winter, and there weren’t enough grains or vegetables, they would eat the weakest of the brood. (Laughs) They didn’t eat the children. It never came to that.


  • Read more about Take Your Daughter to Work Day in Jenna’s TV Guide blog!
  • Abby is reading From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, which won a Newbery Medal in 1967.
  • Dwight starts to read the children a story called “The Story of Little Suck-a-Thumb” from “Der Struwwelpeter” by Heinrich Hoffmann. Truly terrifying. More info
  • According to Meredith’s MySpace blog, Abby was played by executive producer Greg Daniel’s daughter, Haley, and Sasha was played by set dresser Sean Farrell’s daughter.
  • The song that Michael and Dwight sing at the end of the episode is “Teach Your Children” by Crosby Stills and Nash.
  • Read James’ Northern Attack recap.


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  1. 39. JimFan1  

    What a great episode. Stanley yelling at Ryan was priceless. Pam got to see who would be a better parent. I laughed when Meredith brought her son. Toby’s daughter was so cute. I loved Michael’s interact with her! Adorable.

  2. 38. EstherOkure  

    I felt bad for Michael, he still doesn’t have a wife and kid, how long do we have to wait to see that happen? I liked the fact that Pam tried to bribe the kids to like her, but it didn’t work out.

  3. 37. Amanda  

    I always loved the line “But I was going to teach the children how to make cornhusk dolls.”

  4. 36. Silvia  

    I was flipping channels last night as I watching the Dodger game here in L.A. and came upon the American Idol finale. I heard a familiar song coming through from a blonde former contestant and an older man…I about fell out of my seat when I realized it was the song that Dwight and Michael sing to the kids! The songs you learn from The Office let me tell you… hahaha

  5. 35. Figgy Newton  

    You know what’s great? How the puppet shot the camera a look.

  6. 34. Sarah  

    Michael: The kids don’t wanna hear some weirdo book that your Nazi war criminal grandma read to you…

    Meredith’s kid: You’re just a middleman.

  7. 33. Kev  

    Thanks for posting Der Struwwelpeter reference. That is astounding. And hilarious. Germans are funny.

    I must own a copy now.

  8. 32. nemme  

    It’s been a few days since this episode aired, but I’ve had several scenes pop into my head since then. Totally random, like today, I’m at Target, and I see this little girl who looks exactly like Toby’s daughter, and I wanted to give her a train whistle.

    Seriously, this show is like crack. I can’t get enough!

  9. 31. tanster  

    Congratulations to Jaime, Mike, and Sarah for winning’s iTunes Drawing this week!

  10. 30. Tekla  

    Favorite moment: Michael choosing “littlekidlover” as his screenname for the online dating service. His cluelessness knows no bounds.

    Runner-up: Dwight and Angela bonding over strict discipline.

    Can’t wait for the next episode!

  11. 29. Jaime  

    I thought this was just a clever episode. I loved that Dwight attempted to tell the kids my favorite cautionary tale of them all. Even though the name he used for the story doesn’t match the tale.

    I felt so sorry for Michael at the end of this episode. But I thought out of all the parents there — Stanley was definitely the best. :) And Meredith’s hair looked so cute in this episode.

  12. 28. eric  

    that was one of the best episodes because it had everything in it. i truly think steve carell is one of the best actors out there and i normally wouldn’t say that about a comedic actor but he is so versatile he can make you laugh one second and be dramatic a second later. mindy is an excellent writer also.

  13. 27. tanster  

    Rvan, Mindy Kaling is her real name. :)

  14. 26. rvan  

    Mindy what am I thinking I mean Kelly….is Mindy her real name or her name in 40-year old virgin?

  15. 25. rvan  

    yeah I dunno maybe its just me or I need to watch it again, but I didn’t think the episode was all that great. but there were good bits in there…like what Ryan says about Mindy what she thinks is fun…I love the lines Ryan gets….great

  16. 24. tanster  

    Hi GMMR! :)

  17. 23. GMMR  

    I thought this was a GREAT episode. So many classic scenes. I loved the scene with Michael and Dwight when Dwight started explaining to the kids who the Nazis were. Too funny.

  18. 22. Vicki  

    Definite on the top 5 list!

  19. 21. Roni  

    i thought it was – thanks!

  20. 20. tanster  

    Roni, it’s “Teach Your Children” by Crosby Stills and Nash.

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