Jen talks about her dream to be Schrute
tanster: Will Holly be in the premiere?
Jen: Yup. Holly’s coming back. She’ll definitely be in the premiere. And Jan will have a baby at some point.
Mike taps my audio recorder with his finger.
Mike: Is this thing even on?
Jen (laughing): This is something tanster eats so she is able to be up 24 hours a day tracking The Office.
Mike: Tanster Food.
Jen: She’s like half robot and half awesome woman.
Mike: What else ya got? More questions, ask us more questions.
At this point, Jen tries to derail my interview.
Jen (to tanster, as she takes my audio recorder and points it in my direction): Are you having fun? Can we interview you?
tanster: I’m so tired!
Jen: Are you tired? When did you get here? Did you get here today or last night?
tanster: Last night … (realizing this is going in the wrong direction, takes the audio recorder back) … this isn’t interesting! I’m going to be listening to this later, thinking, this is soooo boring!
Jen (laughing): I want to see “I’m so tired.” I want to see my question and your answer.
Mike: What else can we tell you …
tanster (to Jen): Are you going to be a Schrute this year?
Jen: I want to be a Schrute. I desperately want to be a Schrute.
tanster: You keep mentioning it, so …
Jen: I know, I’m going to do it, I’m going to do it.
tanster: How do we make this happen? Can I do a fan petition …
Jen (laughing): No, no, no …
tanster: I’ll do it.
Mike: Seriously, here’s the deal: the writers believe that Jen is too physically attractive to be a member of the Schrute family.
Jen: Which is a super nice compliment. I don’t, I don’t, but wait, you are …
tanster: But there’s makeup!
Mike: Shhh! Hold on a second, wait a second …
Jen: You are a normal looking, physically attractive person. I’m not saying I am, but you are.
Mike: But women can’t put a beard on.
Jen: I could. To be a Schrute, I would.
Mike: Seriously, listen to me. I’m not kidding when I say this. The writers believe Jen is too pretty to be a Schrute. You should have a poll on OfficeTally that says, “Should Jen Celotta be a Schrute?”
tanster: I am doing it.
Jen (laughing): Oh god, oh god …
Mike: If the answer is a resounding “yes,” then you should start a letter writing campaign. To Greg.
Jen (laughing): No no no. Don’t do that part.
Mike: Okay, to NBC. And say, “Let Jen Celotta be a Schrute.”
tanster: I’m doing it. Do you have a name?
Jen: Um … oh shoot. No. “Shoot Schrute!” (laughing) No, no, no. I don’t.
Jen (to Mike): How do you not have a name?
Mike: This isn’t my forte. We need Old World …
Jen: Right. Old World Amish … alright, I’ll think on it. No letter writing campaign though. I’ll feel bad. ‘Cause you’ll have innocent people writing letters.
tanster: Okay. But you’ve mentioned this more than once now. So I know it’s your dream.
Mike (not ready to give up): tanster, the question has to be: “Is Jen Celotta too pretty to be a Schrute?”
Jen (laughing): No, no, no! No, tanster, no!
Mike: C’mon! It would be amazing.
Jen: Okay, what about next season? Do you know what else I’m allowed to say?
Jen: We’re going to have a baby shower. There’s going to be a baby shower for Jan’s baby. Michael makes the office throw a baby shower for this baby that is not even his.
tanster: Omigod. That’s awful. Fantastic.