One of my superiors [we’ll call her “Michaela”], is Michael-Scott-esque in that, try as she might, she simply can’t speak or act professionally without it sounding incredibly awkward and, uh, super wrong.
We’re in childcare, so she communicates with families every day in person, and via phone and email. I cringe when she says or writes something stupid, because, you know, WE’RE TEACHING CHILDREN. We should be smarter than the babies. Technically. Once she told a parent that her baby “hasn’t drunked her bottle,” and I died a little.
While giving a presentation to the whole company, she said, “Now, I’ll tell you pacifically what you should be doing.” Thanks, Michaela! Only the Pacifics, please. Not…uh, the Atlantics? She also uses the word “supposably”, and she hangs up signs with unnecessary quotation marks and apostrophes, which make my head explode, like:
“PLEASE” keep back door’s close.
Keep them close? Should the door[’]s not be alone? Also, PUNCTUATION MARKS DON’T MEAN WHAT YOU THINK THEY MEAN.
One of my favorites, though, is when she was asked to make a label for the phone with the numbers for Poison Control and Security. Hers said “Prison Control” and “Securdy”.
Her stupidity is incalcucable.