This is easy: my office IS Dunder Mifflin. My boyfriend and I are Jim and Pam (we met here), and my boss is definitely Michael Scott. To wit:
(”Jim” walks into the room.)
Me: Hey, you.
Boss: Hey, you. You, you, you. Kissy kissy, I want to kiss you (makes kissy noises) I wuv you.
(During a discussion of celebrities we don’t like)
Jim: Michael Jackson.
Me: Really? I kind of feel sorry for him. Would you say the same thing about Britney Spears?
Boss: Oh, don’t bring up Britney Spears. Jim has a big thing for Britney Spears from way before you came into the picture.
Boss: I don’t think you want to know what he’d like to do to Britney Spears.
(To me, on my first day of work)
Boss: Are you OK? Because you look jaundiced.
(While working closely on a project)
Boss: If I have gas, it’s because I had pizza for lunch.
(To me, during a discussion of summer jobs)
Boss: You were a lifeguard? I wouldn’t have guessed that. You don’t really fit the whole Baywatch thing.
All of this in addition to constant pestering and weirdly timed jokes.