Scrantonicity Request Line now open!
Wednesday, August 9th, 2006 | 51 comments
I can’t think of a better way to conclude our little iPod Giveaway Contest than with the musical stylings of Scrantonicity.
The final question of the contest comes from Dunder Mifflin’s own Kevin Malone:
What song would you most like to hear from Scrantonicity, where, and why?
Please note: Kevin is a singing drummer …
You have until Saturday, August 19th at 11:59pm Pacific Time to add a comment. Please follow the rules!
P.S. Kev, I am so sorry for calling you at work! — I heard Angela yelling at you in the background for taking personal calls. Of course, Angela has called me inappropriate once before, so I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised. Sorry for harshin’ your mellow, dude.
This Week
Watch 'Frame Toby' promos here.
Craig Robinson performs at Helium Comedy Club, Philadelphia Nov. 19-22. More events in the Calendar.
NBC Store
The Office Seasons 1-4 DVD
It's the ultimate package!
(That's what she said.)
Latest Updates
Search
The iPod Giveaway is now closed to entries!
The gig that would’ve meant the most to the future of Scrantonicity would, of course, have happened June 10, 2006: Pam and Roy’s wedding. Whether they were confirmed for this event—and whether this event even occurred—is unknown to the general public. But had they been the reception band, as a nod to another singing drummer, they could’ve played a cover of “Tonight, Tonight, Tonight” by Genesis. C’mon, it’s a wedding reception. Everybody’s looking at the bride and groom, so “tonight” is already on everybody’s minds. Another, more sedate choice for the reception would’ve been Crowded House’s “Don’t Dream It’s Over.”
If this gig didn’t happen, the guys could try and get on stage about a half an hour down the road at Slainte! Under The Tower (formerly Murray’s Inn), a pub in nearby Wilkes-Barre. Again, with a tip of the hat to singing drummers, they could do a sweet cover of The Romantics’ “What I Like About You.” I understand Kevin Malone does a killer Jimmy Marinos, The Romantics’ drummer who sang lead on their big hit. It’s just a fun tune that would really pull the crowd in. Nice.
Michael tricks corporate into giving him the money for a “Scissors, Paper, & Rock-taking risks in business” seminar, “The paper is in the warehouse, I’ll bring scissors, and the rock will be Scrantonicity!” Kevin almost pulls out a few times because Michael insists on singing some songs with them. After rejecting Michael’s version of “Hollaback Girl” where he replaced the “b-a-n-a-n-a-s” with “S-c-r-a-n-t-o-n”, even though Kevin really wanted to show off his drumming talents with that song, they finally decide on one.
The night of the big event Michael takes the stage with Scrantonicity for his big number. Michael tells everybody they can always count on him as their boss for doing “this for them” as Scrantonicity busts out with the Beastie Boys “You Gotta Fight For Your Right To Party” which everybody joins in singing the chorus.
It was really hard to get Michael off the stage because he wanted to sing another song. They played Rick James “Super Freak” and got him on the dance floor, which he proclaimed himself as “still the boss of dancing”.
Song: Bang on the Drum by Todd Rundgren
Where: The Annual Dunder Mifflin Picnic
Michael hires Scrantonicity to play for the annual picnic. Kevin tells Michael that he has a special song prepared for the picnic to follow the speeches by Jan and Michael. Kevin wants to pull a fast one on Michael and Jan.
Michael: Today is a great day for Dunder Mifflin, and boy do we have reason to celebrate! This year, thanks to all of your hard work, has been a record year of improvement for the company.
Jan: (aside to Michael) Well, that’s not exactly true, Michael. (back to crowd) We are proud of your work, though.
Michael: Yes, we are… and what better way to celebrate than to have our very own Kevin Malone in the house with his local band, Scrantonicity. I understand our buddy Kev has put together a little something special. This is a salute to you and about our journey as an office– a family– together. Take it away, Kev!
Kevin and the Band: I don’t wanna work. I just wanna bang on the drum all day! I don’t wanna play. I just wanna bang on the drum all day!
Kevin, talking head: I love those lyrics. It’s kind of my theme song.
Kevin and his Scrantonicity bandmates were nervously excited about taking the platform at Phyllis and Bob VanceVanceRefrigeration’s engagement party. While it was a great first gig, they didn’t normally do hip hop. Kevin figured that for Phyllis and a $69 check, they’d try anything.
A pulsing bass and drum line started. The small crowd cheered as they recognized the song.
“Lala. La. La. Laaa,” sang Kev with slightly flat intonation. “My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they’re like, it’s better than yours…”
When the documentary crew asked Phyllis about selecting Kelis’s “Milkshake,” she smiled sweetly. “Oh, gosh, I don’t know. Bobby and I just love milkshakes,” she replied with a knowing twinkle in her eye.
Kevin and his band Scrantonicity have a really important gig coming up in the next few weeks. They are determined to get as much live practice in before the big event. No pre-event gig will be too small.
Kevin enters his garage and hears the rest of his band mates practicing for one of their in-between gigs. “We’re a happy fam-i-ly” is belted out by the lead singer.
Gig 1 - Kevin is struggling to make it through the last set. His outfit is itchy and hot. “We want Barney! We want Barney!” can be heard from twenty 6-year-olds. It’s time to go sign autographs!
Gig 2 - A piece of birthday cake hits Kevin in the face. “Heeeey,” he responds. They start playing the next song, “Rubber Ducky… you’re the one”. It’s one of Kevin’s favorite shower songs and the sugar-hyped 5-year-olds seem to like it too.
The Big Gig - Scrantonicity is stoked! Kevin is a little nervous because of the country songs they recently added. Tim McGraw’s “I like it, I love it” is the fourth song they play. The crowd is on their feet screaming, “I want some more of it”.
An excerpt from the June 23, 2009 issue of the “Wilkes-Barre Times Leader”:
The Police cover band, Scrantonicity, lead by drummer/lead singer Kevin Malone, delivered the only poor performance of the Froggy 101 New Rock Revolution Battle of the Bands with an awful rendition of Nena’s “99 Luftballoons”.
With his voice constantly trembling and cracking, Malone stumbled through every line of the classic tune, and had to stop the song momentarily after the line “Und fuehlten sich gleich angemacht” crippled him with laughter.
Technical difficulties also hampered the performance. The lead guitarist kicked his own amp off the stage during an improvised solo, injuring two unimpressed onlookers.
Rumor has it that if unsuccessful at the Battle of the Bands, this would be the band’s last appearance together. Five words for these guys: Don’t quit your day jobs.
(Zero stars out of five)
It’s 2011 and Dunder Mifflin has finally closed down a branch. So now it’s time for a party – a New Years Party!
Because of the great job Scrantonicity did at a wedding a few years ago and the wonderful streak of three shows a year they have done since, they have been asked to be the entertainment for the evening. Luckily, they were able to squeeze it in to their hectic tour schedule. The play list you ask? Remade covers.
“Don’t Fear the Paper” to Don’t Fear the Reaper – Blue Oyster Cult
“No Sleep ‘till Scranton” to No Sleep ‘till Brooklyn – Beastie Boys
“Mama Said Three-Hole-Punched” to Mama Said Knock You Out – LLCoolJ
“It’s A Cubicle Day” to It’s A Beautiful Day – U2
And Kevin’s favorite of the evening:
“It Ain’t Easy Being Reamed” to It Ain’t Easy Being Green – Kermit the Frog
Because tonight was also coinciding with the prescreening showing of “Office Life - The Documentary”. The closing song needed no rewording. As the music begins to play, everyone starts to show just a hint of a smile as Kevin begins to sing:
“I always feel like somebody’s watching me…” (Rockwell/Michael Jackson)
Since Pam’s wedding got called off, Kevin has been looking for any other means to showcase his and his band’s talent… So naturally when the local AA chapter called looking for a band to perform at its ‘5 years sober anniversary party’ for one of their members, Kevin couldn’t pass the offer.
Right away he started thinking of the play list, mostly 80’s flash backs (of course) but his opening song would be his best work ever… His very own version of ‘whip it’ by Divo, he has been trying many ways to turn ‘Whip it’ into ‘quit it’
now ‘quit’ it
into shape
shape it up
get straight
go forward
move ahead
try to detect it
it’s not too late
to ‘quit’ it
into shape
shape it up
get straight
go forward
move ahead
try to detect it
it’s not too late
to ‘quit’ it
’quit’ it good
… however he forgot all the lyrics as the nights honoree is presented on stage… to his surprise it is Meridith
Abby hides in the corner of the Lackawanna County Youth Center as Kevin shouts, “Happy Birthday Abby, this one goes out to all the guys out there…1, 2, 3, 4!”
The music starts and the whole office crew is there. Kevin sent an Evite to everyone - even Jan showed up. No one is really sure what song is playing until the chorus hits:
“Oh-oh, here she comes, watch out boy she’ll chew you up
Oh-oh, here she comes, she’s a maneater…”
An uncomfortable silence hits the co-workers, as Jim, Ryan, Dwight, and Michael cautiously glance at their respective lady friends: Pam, Kelly, Angela, and Jan… and Carol, who are all sulking. These gals want to dance.
Pam grabs Jim and they shake it up a little. Then Kelly and Ryan. Even Jan, Carol and Michael. Dwight walks towards Angela, but he walks right past her to the outlet and unplugs the speakers.
He turns to the crowd, “You all should be ashamed of yourselves. My Uncle Alexander was eaten alive. How, you may ask? Well kids, just remember, never open the cage of a rabid Kimono Dragon unless you know for sure it’s subdued. Otherwise you’ll be endangered.”
With all of the glamourous celebrities around, Scrantonicity decided that they needed to bring back songs from a while back. So they practice in one of the band members’ basement — Copacabana by Barry Manilow.
The Beatles, “Act Naturally”:
After Scrantonicity has a few shows under it’s belt (yep, they finally learned how to play in public), the group will discover that they are waaay too talented to limit themselves to just Police songs. And yet, not talented enough to write their own material; thus, Scrantonicity becomes a general cover band. Each band member gets to choose a solo song, and Kevin decides to pick a song originally sung by one of the other great singing drummers in the world: Ringo Starr. Kevin’s self-deprecating solo on The Beatles’ “Act Naturally” (“They’re gonna put me in the movies/They’re gonna make a big star out of me/ We’ll make a film about a man that’s sad and lonely/ And all I gotta do is act naturally”) goes over so well with Scrantonicity fans that Kevin starts believing the lyrics to the song, and quits the band and his job to pursue an acting career. Kevin is back working at Dunder Mifflin inside of a month.
Jim had been feeling sorry for Kevin lately. First off, Pam’s wedding was postponed, then cancelled, so Scrantonicity’s hopes for a big break went down the drain. Then Kevin’s fiancée Stacey wanted to “take a break.” It seems that Stacey mistakenly suspects that all of Kevin’s complaining about Angela is hiding a secret affair. (“Stacey, that couldn’t be farther from the truth…I mean, she’s hot, but she’s a terrifying person.”) And then there was that thing with gambling the company’s petty cash…So when it came time for Jim to throw his second annual BBQ, he immediately chose Scrantonicity over karaoke this year. After all, Kevin’s been a good friend to him – offering to “get his back” if Roy ever finds out about “The Kiss.” Right.
Most of the songs played in the backyard that night were from “The Police,” but in a gesture of true friendship, Kevin and the guys had secretly learned to play “Sing” by Travis, banjo and all. Jim looked up in surprise when the song started and gave Kevin a grin and a thumbs up sign. Pam commented, “Hey, this is a good song to sway to.”
“Yes, it is, Pam. Yes, it is. Shall we?”
Stacy looks radiant in her peach satin dress and sparkling smile. She gazes around the reception hall at her and Kevin’s loved ones, then down to the wedding ring that Kevin slipped onto her finger two hours before. “I’m finally Mrs. Malone,” she breathes to herself.
Lovingly, she looks over at her new husband who’s talking with his fellow Scrantonicity band mates. The band has agreed to provide the night’s musical entertainment, free of charge, and a friend will be replacing Kevin on the drums for the evening.
As Stacy turns to speak with her cousin, Kevin taps on the microphone and all heads swivel to see him sitting behind the drums. “Excuse me, everyone,” he yells excitedly. “It’s time for the traditional bride and groom’s first dance, and since it’s pretty much the highlight of the night, I thought I’d make it extra special.” Kevin taps his sticks together and begins to perform the Fountains of Wayne song, ‘Stacy’s Mom.’
“Stacy’s mom has got it goin’ on…”
Stacy stares, open-mouthed, as everyone turns to look at her. “Well, I did say for better or worse,” she stammers loudly, as the word ‘annulment’ flashes into her thoughts.
Michael decides to hold a soirée for representatives of 50 area businesses that used to have their paper supplied by Dunder Mifflin. He hopes that he and the sales staff will be able to convince some of them to once again give their business to Dunder Mifflin. Since there will be too many people to hold the event at Chili’s, it’s instead held in the Station Ballroom at the Radisson. The night includes dinner, business presentations, and entertainment provided by Dunder Mifflin employees.
Lonny from the warehouse does a stand-up comedy routine and he gets a lot of laughs. Creed takes the stage and announces that he’ll be doing some magic. He then requests a $20 bill from the audience which he says he’ll make disappear. Someone gives him one and he makes good on his word by walking off the stage and leaving. It’s silent for a little bit but then everyone starts laughing. The highlight of the entertainment though is Scrantonicity. They perform several songs, the most memorable of which is “Working for the Weekend” by Loverboy. It is quite entertaining to see the usually lethargic Kevin perform such an energetic song.
This time, the Dundies are held at Poor Richard’s, and Michael has hired Scrantonicity to play, relieving Dwight of his “I’ve got wrap-up music and I’m not afraid to use it” duties. Among the many Dundies given out that night, Michael gives Creed the “If you are taking the elevator, I should take the stairs” Dundie. Scrantonicity immediately breaks into “Don’t Stand so Close to Me.”
Where: poor Richard’s
Song: It’s Gonna Be Me by N’Sync
Its karaoke night at Poor Richard’s and the whole gang is there. Roy let Pam go out with the gang, on one condition: Angela stays with Pam the whole time. Jim and Pam share a table, and Angela soon leaves to go off with Dwight, not thinking anything of leaving Pam with Jim. Jim has a few drinks in him and gets up enough confidence to go up to the DJ and put in the song. A few turns pass by, including Michael’s always favorite Islands in the Stream. Jim’s song comes up and Pam is nervous. As soon as the first few bars play EVERYONE knows exactly what it is, and Pam is overjoyed because she secretly loves N’Sync! Jim finishes the song, and returns to the table. After about twenty minutes, Angela goes back to find that Pam is no where to be found, Jim’s car is missing and Roy is calling wondering where Pam is. Angela not knowing what to do, decides to protect Pam since Pam is always protecting Dwangela. Roy thinks Pam is with Angela. We the audience know better. :)
I would like to hear “Don’t Stand So Close To Me” from the Scrantonicity demo tape that Pam and Jim watched. I have created a Scrantonicity demo tape drinking game and would like to invite some friends over for a fun evening. A few of the events qualifying for a drink are below.
Drink when
-the camera goes off Kevin
-”special effects” are used
-you see a woman on the tape
-they play a song not by the Police
-any band member has a solo
Song: “Crazy” by Gnarls Barkley
Where: Oscar’s backyard
When: The song is played at Oscar’s surprise birthday party thrown by Oscar’s “friend” (who was previously seen briefly when Dwight investigated whether Oscar was faking a sick day). The band is hired because the original band fell through, and Oscar’s friend knew he could probably hire Scrantonicity at a moment’s notice.
Why it’s funny to me: a middle-aged garage band who prefers 80’s rock classic trying to play a current Top 40 hit is just funny (in a sad way).
Kevin was feeling down on himself after Pam and Roy’s wedding was cancelled. Kev had even splurged for new sticks! After hearing the news, he headed down to Poore Richard’s to drown his sorrows when Phyllis and Bob Vance strolled in. After gossiping a bit about Pam and Roy, Phyllis realized she hadn’t seen Kevin this depressed since she got all the clovers on Casino Night. So she told Kevin that they’d like Scrantonicity to play at THEIR wedding.
Kevin had the greatest song to play at the wedding. Since chilling things is Bob’s line of work, and the lyrics described Dunder-Mifflin so well:
License to Chill (Jimmy Buffett)
Work, work, work
Big pile of it and the boss is a jerk.
I just want to disappear
Wishin’ I was somewhere other than here.
Livin’ for the weekend,
Jumpin’ off the deep end,
With just enough money to buy
A license to chill
And I believe I will
Let the rat race run, roll around in the sun until
Trouble turns funny, songs get sung
A little bit of money, the night’s still young
Leave me alone I’ve got a license,
A license to chill