My favorite iPod Giveaway entries

Like James and I have said already, it was really difficult picking the winners. And even though some of the entries below didn’t result in a tangible prize, they nevertheless deserve the spotlight for being some of the most creative we’ve read. Enjoy!

1. Create a new office character. Name, occupation, and personality.
Question submitted by JENNA FISCHER

“David ‘Davey’ McCracken is better than you. Did you sell 500 reams of neon pink cardstock? Davey sold 650. Did you get a few mosquito bites on your camping trip over the weekend? Davey got 126. And lived. Slightly allergic to Splenda-enhanced products? Davey: Anaphylactic shock.” — smart little cookie

“Charlie Grace would be a new addition to the sales department after the merger. In her late twenties, Charlie is attractive, with dark, wavy hair. The other females, especially Pam, are a little awed by Charlie’s beauty and seem alternately relieved and annoyed that she’s happily married and expecting her first child. Michael frequently refers to the baby as ‘Charlie’s angel,’ amidst eye rolls from the other employees. Creed ogles her for several months before he even realizes that she’s pregnant, since he mainly sees her sitting down.” — Kristen

“Herbert Holloman is the night time janitor … Some people might describe Herbert as “weird” or “smelly” or “future mass murderer”, but really he’s a normal guy with a soft spot for snakes and boiled pigs feet.” — Lauren

“Character: Branson (last name unknown). Occupation: none. Darryl forgot his wallet and comes back late at night to the warehouse, where he discovers Branson, sleeping in a big box in the corner. Branson is a homeless man to whom someone in the office gave a key to the warehouse so he could stay there … That night after work, Michael decides to go downstairs with his sleeping bag and his PJs to have a sleepover with Branson to learn about the life of a homeless man. When he arrives, he discovers that Branson already has a roommate. Who? CREED!” — Lindsay

“Spike is the 22-year-old son of Dunder-Mifflin’s CEO. Though he is only a recent college graduate with no work or office experience, his father gave him responsibilities as the “Principal Importer of Manufactured Pulp,” which only Spike refers to as P.I.M.P.” — Jill

2. Pick a character and develop a scenario for how they might have turned out in an alternate universe.

“Dwight Kurt Schrute-Assistant to the Dictator, Germany mid 1930’s. Dwight Schrute likes to think of himself as Hitler’s go to guy … He is on his way to the top when he is suddenly dismissed for being caught up in a scandal involving a “lady of the night” known simply as Cookie Martin. ” — Lauren

“Creed Bratton, Wild West Outlaw, 1870s. Gunslinging outlaw Creed “Nine Toe” Bratton was the wiliest man the Wild West ever did see. From his childhood days on the ranch, when he would sneak off to the cow pasture to take naps or steal moonshine from the Dunder clan, everyone knew he would grow up to be no good.” — Lindsday

“Dwight Schrute -Male Model. Spotted by a talent agent in a Scranton mall at age 17, Dwight broke into the world of modeling with ads for Calvin Klein. As the computer geek movement of the 80s and 90s surged, Dwight saw his star rising, eventually appearing on the cover of GQ. He became known for his signature look, “Remington,” and the fact that he never smiled with his teeth.” — Catherine Zeta- Jones

3. If you could follow one Dunder-Mifflin employee around on the weekend, who would it be and what do you think you’d witness?
Question submitted by ANGELA KINSEY

“When Pam learned that I needed a place to stay for the weekend, she immediately invited me to stay with her … After a fun day of shopping on Saturday, we relaxed over a light dinner. I admired Pam’s green teapot. “Thanks,” she said and then paused. “My friend Jim gave me that last Christmas.” She paused again and then said, “You know, I haven’t talked to him in over a month and I’m going a little crazy.” That was the start of a long, complicated story that came spilling out. “Wow,” I said. “Yeah,” she replied. Then she twisted off her engagement ring and placed it on the table, where we both stared at it. It was almost as if its beauty had immediately diminished in the shadow of the green teapot …” — Kristen

“A weekend with Kelly: Kelly leaves work at 5:03, exactly two minutes after Ryan leaves. She follows him home, always sure to keep at least three cars distance behind him. She becomes distraught when she sees him leave his house at 8:00 with a ‘fugly chick.'” — Lauren

4. What new pranks would you like to see Jim pull on Dwight in Season 3?

“Slowly fill up Dwight’s chair seat with rocks and suggest he’s getting hemorrhoids.” — Joseph

5. Pick a character from the show and write their profile as if it will be used in an online personality test.

“You are: Kevin Malone. Like Kevin, you are a quiet, introverted person who delights in the mildly profane and immature. This tends to separate you from your peers, who’ve long outgrown your childish sense of humor and often scold you for it. Despite this shortcoming, you are intelligent, hardworking, dependable, and musically inclined. Stay away from: Hotdog fingers, “Who Would You Do?”, Office restrooms. Things to persue: Your jumpshot, MILFs, Italian accents.” — Trent

“Yikes. You are Toby the HR Guy. You don’t really know how things ended up this way. One day, you’re happily married to your soul mate, you’ve got a beautiful kid, your job is not great, but not terrible. Then in an instant, you’re divorced, you only get to see your daughter on alternate weekends, your boss’s hatred for you intensifies, and you’re sleeping in your car. If you opened a fortune cookie right now, the message would say, ‘WTF, man?’ Somehow, you still manage to be a nice guy. All but one of your co-workers like you and you think your luck might be changing. Chase that feeling.” — smart little cookie

“You are Dwight K. Schrute. You were certainly born for a top management position. As hard as you try to ignore it, you know that your company’s productivity would exceed everyone’s wildest dreams if only you and your own boss’ jobs were flip-flopped. Your loyalty, wit, level head, and flexibility will all help you work toward your goal of Dunder Mifflin dominance.” — Kristen

“You are Devon! When someone mentions you, they are often met with the response, “Who?” You have a tendency to be forgotten when you leave a place, because you were never really memorable to begin with. Develop some skills in bargaining and maybe someday you will not be outwitted by that old guy who smells weird.” — Lauren

“You are Pam Beesly! You are stuck in a struggle between the life you have and the life you want. Afraid to veer from the safe path you’ve been traveling but tempted by dreams of what could be, you are left standing still.” — Lindsay

6. Besides mung bean sprouts, what else do you think Creed keeps in his desk drawer and why?

“8453 Florida ballots from the 2004 Presidential Election” — Joseph

“A prosthetic (and presumably fifth) toe. Ryan theorized that this was only used for special occasions. Ick.” — smart little cookie

“An envelope that has Pam’s name written on the front. But is that Creed’s writing? Nope, it’s Jim’s.” — Kristen

“Aside from the mung beans, Creed’s desk is completely empty. Occasionally he has Ryan’s stapler in the bottom drawer. Ryan takes it back at the end of each day. Creed thinks it’s a game.” — Lauren

“A rolled up poster of Angela’s entitled ‘Babies Playing Poker.’ — Brian

“A blue yogurt lid attached to a string of paperclips- Creed, however, did not place in any Office Olympic events” — Jill

“Bottle of Night Swept. ‘Thought I’d snag this and replace it with a little mung bean juice. We’ll see who stanks now, Michael.'” — Kristina

“A comb (true, he doesn’t have much hair on his head, but he often combs the long hair on his feet)” — OfficeAddict

7. What should Roy do if he ever finds out about The Kiss?
Question submitted by DAVID DENMAN

“When he hears about the kiss, Roy should immediately go into the fetal position and cry in a corner for at least a day or two. He’ll come out of that feeling like a pansy, but as evidenced by Jim, Pam likes those “sensitive” guys. He should then go to the drug store. Buy some brown hair dye. Grow his hair out a little longer. Practice making his voice crack in a sexy manner. There’s a pretty good chance Pam will think he’s Jim, at which point he can win her back by “tricking” her into a trip to Australia. Instead he’ll take her to Arizona. Well, maybe he should actually take her to Australia. After all, he’s not a complete jackass.” — Lauren

“KABOOM! That’s the sound of Roy’s fist punching through a wall after he finds out Pam and Jim kissed. That mop-headed, aw-shucks sales boy must die!” — Lindsay

8. What song would you most like to hear from Scrantonicity, where, and why?
Question submitted by BRIAN BAUMGARTNER

“The Police cover band, Scrantonicity, lead by drummer/lead singer Kevin Malone, delivered the only poor performance of the Froggy 101 New Rock Revolution Battle of the Bands with an awful rendition of Nena’s ’99 Luftballoons’. With his voice constantly trembling and cracking, Malone stumbled through every line of the classic tune, and had to stop the song momentarily after the line ‘Und fuehlten sich gleich angemacht’ crippled him with laughter.” — Trent

“Most of the songs played in the backyard that night were from ‘The Police,’ but in a gesture of true friendship, Kevin and the guys had secretly learned to play ‘Sing’ by Travis, banjo and all.” — Kristen

“I would like you to play “Don’t Stop Believin’” by Journey, because even though we are very old and cannot control our bladders, we have never given up.” — Lindsay

“Usually a Police cover band, they decide that their cover band should do a cover, and play ‘Times Like These’ by the Foo Fighters as an encore. Meredith, the lone audience member, holds up a lighter.” — Catherine Zeta-Jones

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