The Office: Finale, 9.24-25

Thursday, May 16th, 2013 | 549 comments


The Office: Finale

Writer: Greg Daniels, Director: Ken Kwapis

Summary (NBC): Months after the airing of the documentary, the workers of Dunder Mifflin, past and present, gather for a wedding and a final round of interviews. Mysteries are solved, hatchets are buried, pranks are prunked. Guest stars: Mindy Kaling, B.J. Novak, Rachael Harris, Dakota Johnson, Joan Cusack, Ed Begley, Jr., Malcolm Barrett, Matt Jones, Andy Buckley, Michael Schur, Bobby Ray Shafer. One hour and 15 minutes long, starting 9/8c.

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The Office Finale extras


In a poll conducted May 16-20, 2013, Tallyheads rated this episode: 9.58/10

The Office Finale quotes

Manually transcribed by tanster, 1:24am Friday May 17 :)

Dwight: Nobody buys DVDs anymore.

Dwight: PBS. The propoganda wing of Bill and Melinda Gates. And viewers like you.

Stanley: I’ve been looking forward to this day since I was 18 years old.

Kevin: At least I got chocolate.

Jim: I bike to work now. Saves on gas. Cheaper than a vasectomy. Good for the environment, too.

Angela: Those feet. They’re like the paws of an orangutan.

Pam: Now that she’s wearing sports bras, we don’t see her boobs as much.

Pam: There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point?

Dwight: I always liked Devon.

Dwight: Turns out Creed was in the band, The Grass Roots, in the 1960s. During that time, the police say, he sold drugs, and trafficked in endangered species meat, and stole weapons-grade LSD from the military.

Jim: Dwight has made me his bestisch mensch. Which is Schrute for ‘best man.’

Jim: Tonight, only good surprises. Guten Pranken.

Clark: Great, now we have three hours to fill!

Jim: Mose has been weird? That’s so unlike him.

Andy: Oh I can so just sit here and cry!

Seth Meyers: Oh c’mon Baby Wawa.

Oscar: “A mistake plus Keleven gets you home by seven.”

Nellie: I live in Poland now. The Scranton of the EU.

Nellie: I thought I unfriended you.
Toby: Anyone can follow a Twitter feed.

Toby: I have six roommates. Which are better than friends, ’cause they have to give you one month’s notice before they leave.

Andy: A bear hug from my favorite mama grizzly.

Jim: You remember my two lap band surgeries, right? Neither do I. Guten Prank Number One.

Darryl: And it’s Athleap now.

Oscar: I’m a man. So I’m going to the bachelor party with the boys. I just have to remember how I acted before I came out.

Oscar: Whazzzzzzup?

Dwight: What, are you going to whack me, Jim?
Jim: No Dwight, you’ll be doing the whacking.

Dwight: A bazooka. You remembered.
Jim: Of course I did.

Jim: Guten Prank Number Two.

Dwight: We’ll have an onion loaf for the table, please.

Meredith: Shut up. Jakey?
Jake: Mom?

Meredith: Give them a good show, my little entrepreneur.

Pam: Woo hoo! Go Meredith’s stripper son!

Clark: Dwight, for the last time, she’s not a waitress!

Dwight: I think I ate too much bone marrow.

Jim: I think it’s time for you to bury the hatchet.
Dwight: Waste of a good hatchet.

Dwight: You can’t be anything but happy on your wedding day.

Dwight: Your Internet searches were so filthy, we had to throw out your computer.

Jim: Guten Prank Number Three.

Stanley: I guess this was worth being filmed nonstop for nine years.

Pete: No one recognizes me, but now all my friends call me Plop. So… thanks, PBS.

Jim: She pays me back every day, just by being my wife.

Dan: Pam, what was in that teapot letter?

Steve: Do you find that your life feels pointless now that nobody’s actually filming you anymore?
Toby: Yes.

Meredith: Yes, I was getting hammered. But hey, it was college.

Pam: It’s like a long book that you never want to end. And you’re fine with that, because you just never ever want to leave it.
tanster: Like Harry Potter?

Moderator: Next week at the Scranton Cultural Center, don’t forget, Irish step dancing semi-finals, winning team to mid-Atlantic!

Creed: Jeff Bomondo. I sell ceramic tile out of Newark. My wife’s name is Kathryn. I could show you my social security number if it helps.

Kelly: Are you like a manny now?

Ryan: So I was dating this girl. And one day, she went out to get a new charger for her e-cigarette. Never came back. Oldest story in the book.

Ryan: No, Kelly, he’s not named after a hip hop artist from 2011. It’s Drake, like a mix of Drew and Blake.

Dwight: Michael. I can’t believe you came.
Michael: That’s what she said.

Jim: Best prank ever.

Minister: As is traditional to the Schrutes, the lovers are standing in their own graves, as a reminder that this is the only escape from what they are about to do.

Nellie: Why are the graves so shallow?

Dwight: Complimentary hay hooks are placed along the aisles.

Jim: See, now you don’t owe me anything.

Pam: He’s just so happy to have a family plan.

Phyllis: Would a grump make this? It’s me! It’s me.

Ryan: I finally mastered commitment.

Michael: I feel like all my kids grew up. And then they married each other. It’s every parent’s dream!

Pam: Dunder Miffln, this is Pam. Oh I’m sorry, Jim Halpert doesn’t work here anymore.

Pam: Jim was five feet from my desk, and it took me four years to get to him. It’d be great if people saw this documentary and learned from my mistakes.

Pam: It would just make my heart soar if someone out there saw this, and she said to herself, be strong, trust yourself, love yourself, conquer your fears, just go after what you want. And act fast, because life just isn’t that long.

Kevin: If you film anybody long enough, they’re going to do something stupid. It’s only human natural.

Dwight: Do I get along with my co-workers? First of all, I don’t have co-workers anymore. I have subordinates. So, have I gotten along with my subordinates. Let’s see. My supplier relations rep, Meredith Palmer, is the only person I know who knows how to properly headbang to Motorhead. Oscar Martinez, my accountant, is now godfather to my son. Angela Schrute, my former accountant, is now my wife. My top salesman, Jim Halpert, was best man at my wedding. And office administrator, Pamela Beesly Halpert, is my best friend. So yes, I’d say I have gotten along with my subordinates.

Andy: I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them. Someone should write a song about that.

Oscar: Seriously, you made a nine-year documentary and you couldn’t once show me doing my origami.

Creed: I still have my medal from that.

Erin: How do cameras work?

Jim: I sold paper at this company for twelve years. My job was to speak to clients, on the phone, about quantities and types of copier paper. Even if I didn’t love every minute of it, everything I have, I owe to this job. This stupid, wonderful, boring, amazing, job.

Pam: There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point?

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  1. 549. Mari  

    Dear The Office. I miss you.

  2. 548. Jordan  

    I’m currently hooked on the song “Meet You In The Middle” by Stoll Vaughan from the finale.

  3. 547. Josh  

    Holy crap! I think I remember what the “bazooka” was a callback to! Remember at the end of The Negotiation when Jim went around the office collecting Dwight’s weapons, is it possible that was Jim’s way of apologizing or something…

  4. 546. Magnus  

    Started watching The Office in the winter. Loved it and watched the last episode 15 minutes ago. What a great ride. The best show, so emotional right now. I rarely cry, but o’boy did I cry. Choked up and so sad its over. I even learned some valuable life lessons from them. Im currently dating my big love, thank you for everything!
    – lots of love from Norway :)

  5. 545. Ben  

    To keep it as short as I can, this was perfect, absolutely perfect.

  6. 544. bales  

    Thanks to The Office for being my TV home for 9 seasons, and the Office experience simply won’t be the same without OfficeTally complementing the show as being the go-to website for all things Office! Gonna miss the folks at Dunder-Mifflin…you made me want to be a fictional paper salesman, and that says it all really.

  7. 543. Sophie  

    i love you the office. I am so sad that there is no more seasons.. but in my heart, it will be forever . thanks Steve and everyone who made the show. :)

  8. 542. soup snake  

    This was a great ending to one of the best comedies in television history! I liked almost everybody’s ending. I loved that Dwight and Angela got married because they belonged together. I was so happy Pam made the big decision to move with Jim. I thought that was a great way to show Jim how much she loved him. I loved that Erin found her parents and thought Ellie was fantastic in that scene. The highlight for me was the return of Michael Scott! I thought it was strange that he wasn’t at the panel, but his appearance at the wedding was excellent. I wish he would’ve stuck around at the end with everyone. Does anyone know if they tried to get Amy Ryan back for the finale? I was looking forward to seeing Michael with his kids, but I would’ve been satisfied seeing him with Holly again. I thought the Andy auto tune song was hilarious, but I didn’t like that everyone was making fun of him. I really loved everyone’s talking heads at the end especially Pam’s. It was sad seeing the show end but I’m so glad I at least have the dvd’s to relive the memories.

  9. 541. Roxanne  

    Kevin: “At least I got chocolate”… I’ll miss Mr. Malone

  10. 540. mari  

    @matt: they probably did not name her, since they gave her up when she was a baby. They probably only knew her through the tv-show, where she had been called Erin because of Kelly Kapoor. That’s why it would be natural for them to call her Erin, not Kelly.

  11. 539. coren  

    Simona: In the episode where Dwight plays second life, Jim does the good ol jello prank on Dwight’s rocket launcher.

  12. 538. Spera  

    @537 They found her from the documentary, and saw that she went by Erin in the office.

  13. 537. matt  

    Correct me if I am wrong..
    Erin’s parents approached her using the name Erin, though Erin’s first name is Kelly. Just a minor thing. Bugged me though.

  14. 536. Dave  

    Things I noticed that were cut:

    – Jim riding to work on his bike, Pam’s Irish mural unveiling, Dwight’s outdoor Japanese exercises

    – Phyllis’ talking head about fattening up the new Stanley

    – Tobey and Nellie’s arrivals at the airport and talking head moments

    – Oscar’s “Wazzup!!!” in the limo

    – At the bar, Kevin’s five “wells” and his line to Dwight about getting that number right

    – Darryl’s final talking head

  15. 535. Officionada  

    1-hour finale rerun coming up. Sure hope what’s cut is that terrible Ryan-Kelly child abuse/abandonment sequence. What were they thinking? What lack of judgment. Otherwise PERFECT episode. Still in denial.

  16. 534. grace  

    did anyone notice pam’s bracelet (at the wedding) was the one jim gave her in the classy christmas episode? her gift to him was the comic book.

  17. 533. simona  

    All- i am getting nuts in trying to understand why dwight says to jim “you remembered” about the bazooka. can anyone help me? :)

  18. 532. Typhoon  

    Am I the only one who wants to purchase Pam’s new office mural?

  19. 531. frank  

    Also without a doubt the best scene from the finale was Michael’s cameo. He was the reason this show made it beyond the first year, into one of the most popular shows on TV, and the reason it lasted so long. Without him there would be no JAM. And to be honest it was best when the show centered around him, it became too mushy and all about JAM after the 4th-5th season. It became less funny and I think it turned away some male viewers while attracting more females as a result. There’s a reason he’s the last person seen in the show.

  20. 530. frank  

    I live in China, was in the Philippines for the last 2 weeks on vacay and just caught up the last 2 episodes. Ironic that they chose the Phil to reference, I’m not sure anyone in that country knows the Office. The finale was good, not great per se. I think there were too many characters throughout the show to really “bring” them back for a finale. That being said, I’m glad Michael was included, I literally gave a Dwight yell and gesture when Jim looked into the camera.
    Lastly-notable exceptions from the finale? I think Jane has to be the most glaring, no?

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