The Office: Moroccan Christmas, 5.11

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The Office Moroccan Christmas

Writer: Justin Spitzer, Director: Paul Feig

Summary (NBC): Phyllis’ Moroccan-themed holiday party goes up in flames when Meredith’s hair catches on fire. Dwight corners the market on the hottest toy of the Christmas season.

The Office Moroccan Christmas extras

The Office Moroccan Christmas rating

In a poll conducted Dec. 11-15, Tallyheads rated this episode: 7.08/10

See all The Office Season 5 ratings.

The Office Moroccan Christmas quotes

Dwight: What is this?
Jim: Happy holidays, Dwight. But do not open it till Christmas.
Dwight: You’re so pathetic. How long did this take you, three hours?
Jim: Five minutes, actually. I’m a black belt in gift wrapping.
Dwight: Yeah, no such thing. They don’t give out black belts for things that are stupid. Well, I hope it was worth it, ’cause I’m gonna take it apart in about five minutes.

Stanley: I will not be the big guy in the tiny hat.

Phyllis: This is the first Christmas party I’m throwing as head of the Party Planning Committee. The theme is NIghts in Morocco. This isn’t your grandmother’s Christmas party. Unless of course she’s from Morocco, in which case it’s very accurate.

Angela: I am not going to judge Phyllis for desecrating Christmas. There is one person who will, though, and Phyllis just stuffed him into a drawer.

Phyllis: I think for it to be blackmail, it would have to be a formal letter.

Dwight: These are not dolls, Jim. These are commodities, same as gold or oil.

Dwight: Every year, I do research to determine which toy will be the most popular of the Christmas season. This year, it’s a doll. Half girl, half unicorn. Catchphrase: “My horn can pierce the sky!” Pathetic. I bought out every store in the area over the last couple of weeks. And as lazy parents become more desperate, I will sell them at an enormous profit. Isn’t that right, princess?

Jim: That’s the Christmas spirit.
Dwight: I am simply punishing those parents that would wait till the last minute to give their child a gift. And such a genetically improbable one. Look at that. How does that happen? King has sex with a unicorn? Man with a horn has sex with a royal horse?

Michael: This is equal parts scotch, absinthe, rum, gin, vermouth, triple sec, and two packs of Splenda. I call it a “one of everything.”

Pam: I wish you would stop rubbing that lamp in that creepy way.

Andy: There’s a place in France where the naked ladies dance …
Angela: Really, Andy? It’s Christmas, and you’re singing about nudity and France.

Michael: I call it an orange vod-juice-ka.

Dwight: Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-ka-ching.

Jim: Would you want to do it on Groundhog Day?
Michael: No, no. I celebrate privately.

Michael: It’s a surprise party for people who have addictions.

Kevin: Fire Girl!

Andy: When I was in college, I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was “Puke.” I would chug a fifth of So-Co, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people’s empties, some brewskies, some Jell-O shots, do some body shots off myself, pass out, wake up the next morning, boot, rally, more So-Co, head to class. Probably would have gotten expelled if I’d let it affect my grades, but I aced all my courses. They called me “Ace.” It was totally awesome. I got straight Bs. They called me “Buzz.”

Dwight: In the Schrute family, we believe in a five-fingered intervention. Awareness, education, control, acceptance, and punching.

Phyllis: Why aren’t you wearing the hair net?

Michael: You lit your hair on fire today. What about tomorrow?

Dwight: I stab her in the brain with a wooden stick.

Jim: You did the best you could, but this is bigger than all of us.

Michael: A watch would be nice.

Pam: If she wasn’t an alcoholic before, she is now.

Phyllis: That’s a halwa shebakia cookie. They serve it during Ramadan.

Jim: You take requests? Please stop.

Toby: This is great. My ex-wife’s gonna be so pissed. For once, Daddy’s going to be a hero.

Toby: Darryl, man, I need this doll.

Michael: I have a deposit. Alcoholic.

Michael: As it turns out, you can’t just check someone into rehab against their will. They have to do it voluntarily. They have to hit rock bottom. So I think I know what I need to do at this point. I need to find ways to push Meredith to the bottom. I think I can do it. I did it with Jan.

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