The Office: Spooked, 8.05

Thursday, October 27th, 2011 | 101 comments


The Office: Spooked

Writer: Carrie Kemper, Director: Randall Einhorn

Summary (NBC): Fears are revealed on the spookiest Halloween in Dunder Mifflin history — Erin struggles to make the Halloween party at the office exactly how Andy and Robert California want it. Meanwhile, Jim and Pam argue about whether ghosts are real, and Dwight bonds with Robert’s 11-year-old son, Bert.

Icon provided by pessimistreader.

The Office Spooked extras


In a poll conducted October 27-31, 2011, Tallyheads rated this episode: 7.05/10

The Office Spooked quotes

Manually transcribed by tanster. :)

Andy: I have three simple rules: don’t be offensive, don’t be cliche, and don’t take the first two rules too seriously.

Andy: Costume vetoed.

Kelly: This is ridiculous. Why can’t there just be two Kate Middletons?

Meredith: Why is it such a shock that I follow the royal story?

Meredith: Warms my heart. Thinking about them two kids. Doing it.

Jim: I am Chris Bosh.

Kelly: What are you, some kind of Jamaican zombie woman?

Dwight: Has no one heard of Kerrigan? From StarCraft? Queen of Blades?

Toby: (As Dwight) “As soon as I get my weapons back, I’m going to kill you.” But there I am at Thanksgiving, alive, you know. I’m a lucky turkey.

Andy: (Reading Robert’s text) “Looking forward to Halloween party. Expectations are high.” Scared the shit out of me.

Erin: How would you rate me as a receptionist on a scale of 1 to 3?

Erin: You are the best in the biz. I can’t deny.

Pam: “That’s what everyone sees. That’s the man in black.”

Jim: No! My wife does not believe in ghosts.

Jim: Yeah, I had just told you about the day I met the Blue Angels. I figured you had to top it.

Pam: I don’t know what to tell you, Jim, but I saw a ghost.

Robert: And you, on this day of fantasy, are… a laborer.

Robert: Everyone, this is Bert, my son. Bert, this is… a paper company.

Bert: Can I use your computer? I need to check a hurricane.

Andy: Wow, who shot our grown-up party with a kiddie ray gun?

Gabe, Kelly, and Toby: Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones… now we’re the skeleton crew!

Robert: You feeling fulfilled in your life?

Robert: Yes. Dying alone, that is very scary.

Bert: Very low pressure in the Sargasso Sea. Warm air from South America. Cold air from Greenland. All signs point to the perfect storm.

Dwight: I’m a Jamaican zombie woman. Leave me alone, ghoul.

Bert: If you’re going to be a Zerg, at least be a lurker. Not some girl.
Dwight: Kerrigan is ruler of the Zerg Swarm!
Bert: Yeah, she also has boobs!
Dwight: Yeah, but no nipples!

Andy: Maybe we could mix a little more 13 into the PG.

Jim: He didn’t have a Buster sign around him?

Jim: I ain’t afraid of no ghosts.

Pam: Dwight, are you eating a stick?
Dwight: it’s a root, you idiot.

Bert: Everyone hates you.
Dwight: That’s really rude! I don’t tell you hurricanes suck, even though it’s true.
Bert: What do you like, tornadoes?
Dwight: Try influenza.
Bert: Oh yeah? What’s the vaccine you could take to avoid a hurricane?

Kevin: I’m only scared of real things. Like serial killers and kidnappers. Not things that don’t exist, like ghosts or mummies.

Kevin: Why on earth would a museum put a mummy in it?

Erin: Get out of here, little kid party! Nobody loves you! And clean up your room! Grown ups are going to use it later!

Gabe: The cinema of the unsettling is a growing film movement. The most well known film in the genre is an hour long shot of a squirrel with diarrhea.

Erin: This game is called Pecker Poker. It’s the game of cards that gets you hard.

Andy: Did you think I was going to fire you?

Robert: I’m never uncomfortable.

Pam: Jim doesn’t let me wash his NFL jersey during playoffs. How is this any less logical?

Phyllis: Is she Asian?
Erin: I don’t know. She’s from somewhere, I bet. Maybe from the forest.

Creed: You don’t live as long as I have without a healthy fear of snakes, Bobby.

Meredith: Honestly? Jim gives me the creeps.

Robert: What am I up to.

Robert: When I was a boy, there was an empty house, just up the hill from my family’s. It was rumored a man committed suicide there after being possessed by the devil. One day, a young woman, Lydia, moved into the house with her infant child. That very night, Lydia was awakened by a loud, heinous, hissing sound. She walked to the nursery, and there, in baby’s crib, was a snake wrapped around baby’s neck, squeezing tighter and tighter.
Creed: Oh my goodness.
Robert: The crib was full of dirt, baby struggled to free itself from underneath, reaching and clawing, gasping for air. Embalmed bodies rose from their sarcophagi, lurching toward baby. For they were mummies. Amongst them was a man, tall, slim. Almost instinctively, she turned to her husband. “Oh wait,” she thought, “I don’t have a husband.” For Lydia and her husband had had an argument, one they couldn’t get past. Each night, they slept one inch farther apart, until one night, Lydia left. It was about this time, she lost herself in imaginary worlds. She had quit the book club, the choir, citing something about their high expectations. Her lips slowly grew together from disuse. Every time she wanted to act and didn’t, another part of her face hardened, until it was stone. And that fevered night, she rushed to the nursery, threw open the door, “baby, are you okay?” Baby sat up slowly, turned to mother, and said, “I’m fine, bitch. I’m fine.”

Robert: Fear plays an interesting role in our lives. How dare we let it motivate us. How dare we let it into our decision making, into our livelihoods, into our relationships. It’s funny, isn’t it, we take a day a year to dress up in costume and celebrate fear.

Bert: I’m the CEO’s son. Pack your things. You’re done.

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  1. 101. Chase  

    And the Emmy for Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series goes to James Spader as Robert California, The Office (“The Office” Theme Song)

  2. 100. fantasticsam  

    Easily the best episode this season. At last they are taking full advantage of James Spader’s unique weirdness. The off-the-wall wit recalls the glory days of the second and third seasons… just a little off, which if course makes it just right. November’s creepin up, can’t stop that month! Bert tracking hurricanes, Meredith with her duct-taped Kate Middleton dress, Erin shining as Wendy with a heart and even a brain, and Dwight, Jim and Pam taking a great script and running with it. And Gabe is a riot.

  3. 99. mr.dude  

    Who else would have liked Jim to continue his bucking of the Halloween costume tradition by dressing as Dirk Nowitzki instead of Chris Bosh?

  4. 98. DinkinFlicka  

    Wasn’t bad, but did not live up to the hype. Loved Toby’s moment with confiscating all of Dwight’s weapons though. Also, Oscar’s grandma in Gabe’s film.

  5. 97. staplejello  

    Shout-outs to Erin’s delivery on the line,”Burtie-boy…” and Andy’s “‘kay” to California’s “never uncomfortable” line. Wonder how Andy’s serious behavior and tuff luv toward Erin would’ve been taken if he was in his “normal” office clothes…

  6. 96. remember to call  

    Oh yeah, and for those who don’t remember, Andy’s girlfriend’s name is Rachel, and he met her at a party the night before the PDA episode last season.

  7. 95. Lita  

    @90, I guess Karen 2.0 means a girl who is a temporary distraction for a guy when he has deep feeling for another girl, which describes Karen, Jim and Pam’s relationship. Yes, I guess Andy’s new girlfriend is Karen 2.0 although Andy may have lied about having a girlfriend.

  8. 94. joe  

    Decent episode. Yes the costumes are always interesting but they make the episode a bit overwhelming. The original season 2 Halloween episode managed to make the costume part of it a subtle, funny bonus of the episode, but the recent Halloween episodes are all about the costumes. The funniest part was Pam’s line: “Dwight are you eating a stick?”. It was so spontaneous and irrelevant to her conversation with Jim, genius! I really wished Jim found a way to get back at Dwight and Bert. Jim has been too soft lately. We need the smooth, charming Jim back from earlier seasons. I’m really starting to like Rob California now that i’m figuring him out. I don’t think he’s all that creepy- he just likes to mess with the office people and puts on this show of creepiness. He is a genius and finds amusement in manipulating his subordinates. The office definitely needs someone like that since so many of the characters are airheads.

  9. 93. SiriousFan  

    FINALLY!! I loved Robert California’s ghost story because it finally tied all of his random interactions with the team together…and we FINALLY had an episode with Erin as her funny, insecure, innocent self (which includes Andy)…and Dwight FINALLY earned some respect for his bizarro side…and the costumes were great — who would think of Jesse Pinkman?! The Office always has amazing Halloween shows — this was terrific with Weiner, bin Laden…

  10. 92. Robaroo  

    @Mose wannabe — Well, CLEARLY he was going to tell her that he was in love with her, but he couldn’t do that in front of Robert. Also, they worked Saturdays and Sundays this month. BOOM. ROASTED. ;)

  11. 91. remember to call  

    This episode was awesome. It had the little things we were promised for this season, but also some bigger great moments. And I’m DEFINITELY excited for “Doomsday” next week. 9/10.

  12. 90. fafaf  

    @ 66. diahern

    I initially thought the same thing about Jim/Meredith, but the beauty of Meredith’s character is that you can safely assume that she’s probably drunk and anything she says can’t be taken too seriously!

    @ 79. Stapled

    What does Karen 2.0 actually mean?

  13. 89. MichaelScottOnFacebook  

    Wasn’t my favorite episode of the season.
    I was kind of let down by it, because it didn’t live up to the big Halloween hype. But I thoroughly enjoyed it.
    I thought Ellie did an amazing job! She was so funny and so graceful! And so adorable, too!
    Jim’s costume was “meh”, but I did like how Kevin and Darryl got him into it. Pam’s costume was so cute! Kangaroo Pam was just adorable.
    And I liked Creed as Osama. That was just….so funny!
    Robert was great, and I loved his story! He’s so brilliantly written! And his son was actually really good too! I hope we see more of him.
    Gabe is slowly becoming one of the best things about the show!
    I don’t like the whole Andy/Erin centered part of it. I think the show does better when it’s an ensemble cast instead of just focusing on specific person(s).
    Though I think the episode did well as a whole.

  14. 88. Kathy  

    The movie Erin referred to was “Lars and the Real Girl” about a man who falls in love with a blow up doll or mannequin (I forget which).

    What I want to know is “What was Ryan’s costume?” I am thinking Jessie from Breaking Bad?

  15. 87. megan  

    i don’t understand robert’s ending story and how it pertains to the episode…can anyone clarify? I get that it relates to fear and some character’s individual problems but what is the point?

  16. 86. guylaroche5  


    how is erin even remotely related to karen? if anything andy’s “girlfriend” is the new karen as we all know andy has had strong feelings for erin for a long time and any other girlfriend at this point is just a roadblock for their eventual relationship.

  17. 85. wise with worms  

    Can someone please transcribe jim’s quote about the eagles? I’m not in a place where I can watch again and I really want to share that moment with someone…

  18. 84. George  

    I don’t know what to say. I liked the episode. The Andy/Erin moments were so saddening, specially for her. Pam was creepy with her ghost tale. Dwight wore the funniest costume ever. Robert really convinced everyone with his story, so they don’t be controlled by fear. Gabe’s video is more like an altered version of “The Ring”, but I loved it, although, Erin was wrong about it at the end. And the last scene with Robert’s kid “firing” Toby, to Dwight’s smile, was funny, too.

  19. 83. tothe  

    Didn’t like this one. Don’t care for Andy/Erin, Kevin’s mummy talking head was perhaps the stupidest joke ever attempted on TO and Pam is becoming really annoying. For me Toby saved the episode, just like he did in Lotto with that talking head at the end

  20. 82. HowTheTurnTables  

    I don’t understand the hate for crude humor. Both the plots for Product Recall and Women’s Appreciation Day were based on crude jokes as well but since this is not a S2/S3 episode, it’s not good enough? Michael’s “That’s What She Said” comes to mind as well. Regardless, I loved this episode and it was really interesting to see Erin show her emotional side. There were plenty of laugh out loud moments. Highlights for me were the Jim and Pam interaction, Dwight and his fantasy world, all the costumes. They even made Gabe funny tonight which I thought wasn’t possible! Too bad the episode got lows in viewers and ratings but I give it a solid 8/10.

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