24-Hour Contest: Say What?

The Office

What to do: fill in what Dwight and Michael are thinking! (Note that the bubbles show what they’re thinking, not what they’re saying out loud.)

To submit an entry: add a comment to this post with your text. (Don’t submit a graphic.)

Rules: 20 word limit per bubble. U.S. only, ONE ENTRY PER PERSON, correct spelling/punctuation/grammar, valid email address required.

Prize: I’ll pick one winner to receive a Target Office goodie from the OfficeTally Prize Chest. (Yes, I seem to have a chest-load of these things …)

Deadline: submit your entry by noon tomorrow, June 18th. You only have 24 hours!


  1. Dwight: Looks like you got a Trojan virus.
    Michael: (Thinking)…That’s what she said! (But instead said)…Well, thanks Dwight for using my computer to watch porn!

  2. D: officetally.com…These people know too much about me.

    M: Hey! That’s from my Lazy Scranton video!

  3. Dwight: I hope Michael likes my new homemade cologne.
    Michael: What smells like beets?

  4. D:….I must have Mose ensure Andy gets put in jail. Muwah ha ha
    M:….Ryan looks sexy in the black and white striped jump suit

  5. D: So it’s a chipmunk…turning around…with music…I don’t get it.

    M:Greatest. Movie. Ever.

  6. Dwight: Almost fixed…I haven’t been this helpful since I plowed great-uncle Ulrich’s beet field. Promotion, I will conquer you!
    Michael: Bob Hope… Rodney Dangerfield… Pam has nice legs… Paper clip… Paper clap…I’m so funny…… Wait…Why is Dwight here?

  7. Dwight- If I finish this quickly, I might still be able to win that box set.

    Michael- I wish I was as hot as Ryan.

  8. D: I could totally go undercover like that guy cop as a woman, I could be a better woman than him.

    M: That chick is so hot!

  9. D: According to Wikipedia, Lamaze classes involve “breathing and relaxation techniques under the supervision of a midwife…”

    M: Mid-wife? Like when you’re engaged? So I have to be engaged to someone else for this to work?! …(yelling) “Pam!”

  10. Dwight: That looks like Michael and Jan
    Michael: I can’t believe she posted this to YouTube

  11. D:…I could easily hit the pressure point on Michael’s thigh from this angle.

    M:…This thigh master was worth the $19.99. Dwight can’t take his eyes off me.

  12. Dwight: This is what I imagine Michael looks liked naked.
    Michael: Yup, that’s about right.

  13. D: Oh yeah, three-way bidding war on all of Michael’s stuff! He’s gonna make a fortune!
    M: *sniffle* My Seiko watch certificate… :(

  14. Dwight: Fools! I can’t believe how much people are bidding on this Xterra. Who would actually want to buy this Japanese hunk of junk?

    Michael: Hmm… The Xterra isn’t too shabby looking. Rugged, yet smooth.

  15. D: The computer just spoke?! It’s become self-aware…
    M: Hee hee, this program is amazing.

  16. Dwight: I knew there was no such thing as Gaydar. Stupid Halpert. Oh wait, is that it?

    Michael: We don’t even need this stupid thing. Clearly the only gay person in the office is Toby. And maybe Phyllis. Oh and Meridith, probably.

  17. D: gotta find Ryan’s arrest video on Youtube to show Michael–it’s in my favorites! hahaha

    M: wow, you can watch videos on the internet?

  18. Dwight: Now I’ll use Jim’s credit card to pay for Michael’s mail order bride.
    Michael: She could have had bigger boobies.

  19. D: If I was a super hero, I would be Beet Man! No. Iron Beet! Or perhaps the Incredible Beet…

    M: I must make sure to go see that Get Smart movie. Steve Carell is AWESOME! AWESOME blossom!

  20. Dwight: I wonder what Michael’s doing tonight?
    Michael: I wonder what Jim’s doing tonight?

  21. D: Beating up Tyler Shields was so fun, I just want to watch this video over and over again.

    M: Wow, Dwight fights like a girl, I could take him on!

  22. Dwight: …back-up the analog code, run defragment, reboot the megahertz Ram monitor.. the hard drive should initialize remote bytes, hit ctrl+alt+del….

    Michael: I can see my reflection.

  23. D-What?! Michael only gave Schrute Farms 2 stars on TripAdvisor??
    M-(singing in his head) That one night, one night….damn that song is always in my head

  24. ohhh D: Uninstalling automated computer voice in 5,4, 3,2,1…3,2,1…

    M: Boobs.

  25. Dwight: The Scranton Branch picture looks blurry.
    Michael: Phyllis’ boobs actually look good in that picture.

  26. D: Lamaze classes? The Shrutes believe in the ‘coffin method’ way of giving birth.

    M: Sometimes, you’ve just got to get your freak on! Wait this is so not what I thought it was.

  27. D: My slightly arched back and upright posture show power and dominance despite kneeling at Michael’s feet.

    M: I wonder if I can draw Jan’s boobs in Microsoft Paint and use it as my background. Pam?

  28. Michael: Why is he showing me this fansite again. I get it, it’s a Tally.

    Dwight: What’s that smell? It’s that Michael BO?

  29. Dwight: My eyes are superior to that of a machine. I am like the eye of Sauron, and it is like a tiny Hobbit.
    Michael: If Harvey wins this staring contest, I will totally upgrade his RUM. Why does a computer need alcohol, anyway?

  30. Dwight: Must..win…staring contest. No computer can best a Schrute.

    Michael: Why isn’t Dwight moving? That’s what she said.

  31. D: It says the virus came from a folder marked “TOP SECRET Files from Corporate.”

    M: Please don’t click on Files from Corporate, please don’t click on Files from Corporate…

  32. Dwight: Interesting…everyone that responded to Michael’s “LittleKidLover” profile has a .gov e-mail address…except this guy from Dateline NBC.

    Michael: Too bad they don’t just run personal ads in the office supply catalogs.

  33. Dwight: Well, well, well, what do we have here? Michael’s Second Life profile? But why does he look like the temp?

    Michael: Whoa, who is that? He’s hot. Is that…Ryan? Hmmm. Michael Scarn? Oh no. How do I shut this thing off?

  34. Dwight: Michael, let me show you the new Battle Star Galictica video game.
    Michael: oooo, I think I’ll start video game Tuesdays. corporate will totally go for that.

  35. Dwight: Don’t be an idiot, Don’t be an idiot, Don’t be an idiot

    Michael: Dwight is an idiot

  36. Dwight: so thats the union of the monkey?
    michael: that’s what she said… by she i meant merideth

  37. Dwight: Ugh! I bet Michael doesn’t expect it to look like that.

    Michael: Ah! Just how I pictured it.

  38. Dwight: I could do that so much faster if I had my spud gun. But I don’t. So…
    Michael: I’m going to demonstrate this here in the office today. I wonder if Dwight’ll let me borrow his spud gun.

  39. Dwight: Hmm, this is interesting, I’ve never heard of THIS creature before… must be a new species.

    Michael: Why is he going through my pictures from Jamaica? Wow, Jan is hot!

  40. D:Who’s this Philly Jim he keeps on following me…
    M:Dwight needs to get off my computer Travelocity is having a huge discount on Sandals I wonder if Holly would like to come…

  41. Dwight: I wonder what’s on Michael’s history?
    Michael: Oh, God I didn’t erase my history today!

  42. LOL 26 Alison, that’s my favorite!

    Dwight: I wonder if could fire Jim if I hacked my way through the company website…

    Michael: So THAT’s what “Dunder Mifflin Infinity” is!

  43. Dwight: Michael has some weird symptoms. I must protect him from the evil microorganisms of the world.
    Michael: Thank god Dwight is a big enough nerd to know how to use WebMd.

  44. Dwight: Videos, where is the one of Michael beating me. Need to delete it.

    Michael: No! Jan’s and my videos are on this computer…

  45. Dwight: Odd. This woman is neither born with it, nor is it Maybelline.

    Michael: Boobs.

  46. Dwight: I am so glad I invented the internet.

    Michael: I…don’t…understand…what this is.

  47. Dwight: And…here’s the Ladies of the Beet Farm 2008 Calendar. Sure to take Michael’s mind off Jan’s impregnated body.
    Michael: What the hell is that? That’s what she said.

  48. Dwight: All I need is Michael’s IP address and then I can port over to the corporate network …

    Michael: I wonder what Holly’s doing.

  49. Dwight: I hope Michael will be impressed with my Battlestar Galactica fansite, BattleTally. Took me forever to perfect.
    Michael: I hope it has boobs.

  50. Dwight: I wonder if the bread factory caused that infection.

    Michael: I wonder if she would say that.

  51. Dwight: Investigating Jim’s emails will conclusively prove that he’s the menace who wrote OFFICETALLY.COM on Michael’s blinds.

    Michael: I’ll give these blinds to Andy and Angela as a wedding gift. My trash is their treasure.

  52. Dwight’s bubble: I think Jim is lying. The real Jesus’s profile wouldn’t say religion: atheist, smoke: yes, drink: yes. Kids: proud parent.

    Michael’s bubble: Jesus loves me. This I know. Because Myspace tells me so. So long, Tom. I have a new top friend.

  53. Michael: I’m so glad Dwight was willing to proofread my screenplay before I send it in to the big production companies.
    Dwight: Wait, who’s long tim?

  54. D: So they call her the Tan Monster… possibly some sort of mutant terrorist of the blog world.

    M: I’m so gonna hit that.

  55. D: Michael better be thinking of a password.

    M: I wonder what Jan is wearing.

  56. Dwight: I wonder if Michael will let me sit on his lap…

    Michael: I wonder if Ryan would let me sit on his lap…

  57. Dwight: Creamy skin, straight teeth, curly hair, amazing breasts… Check.
    Michael: That’s what she said.

  58. Dwight: Dunder Mifflin Infinity seems to be down. I have a message from PaperTrnsMeOn saying he wants to have me over for dinner tonight.

    Michael: He’s inviting Dwight? Did he even see Pam, or me from behind?

  59. Dwight: That is a terrible price for a prescription drug. Home-made medicines are more effective, anyway. And cheaper.

    Michael: May Jan is right. Viagra could be fun. Look at that girl in the ad – she’s having fun.

  60. Dwight:
    There is an appalling lack of security guards around Miss Beet Festival 2008.
    I wonder if those are real, or if she has beets in her bra.

  61. Dwight: “Hmmm, the Stalk Inn has lowered their rates again. I better have Mose write up another bad review.”

    Michael: “That would be a nice place to spend a weekend with Ryan. Maybe if I bail him out…”

  62. Dwight: His password is 1234? It should be something from the Lord of the Rings trilogy, like Gondor.

    Michael: I better write that password down because I know I’ll never be able to remember it.

  63. Dwight: What is Homer doing, that dnut could be poisoned yet he eats it like a pig!

    Michael: Mmmmmm….. Donuts *Pfrmhaha*, Homer J. Simpson..

  64. Dwight: I hope Michael doesn’t have anything terminal, but maybe after he dies I would be regional manager at last…
    Michael: I wonder what my percent chance is of me doing Pam…

  65. Dwight: What is that smell?

    Michael: There is a one hundred percent chance I just sharted.

  66. Dwight: Whew I’m not on the Office spinoff, thank you Officetally.

    Michael: Damm, Dwight’s not on the Office spinoff, curse you Officetally.

  67. Dwight : Wait, what’s this word doc titled “Reasons to fire Dwight”

    Michael : Boy, that Sasha Cohen is hilarious.

  68. Dwight : I’m hungry. I wish Michael would make more man meat!

    Michael : It’s almost lunch. I gotta get out of here before Dwight asks for more of my man meat.

  69. Dwight: Wait, if this is the labia, where is the clitoris?

    Michael: Is that Elizabeth?

  70. Dwight: Hmm, so THAT is what the female vagina looks like. I must see Angela’s.

    Michael: Hmm, so that’s what a non-Jan vagina looks like. It’s less scary.

  71. Dwight: Damn you Michael! Now that Michael is making me make him a Myspace profile, he will surely search for Dwight Schrute and my attemts at keeping my secret life as a male prostitute,secret, will be ruined!

    Michael: I wonder if Dwight has a profil- Who is this “Tom” and why is he on my friends list?!

  72. dwight: online security here is terrible. i could do better. if i can block a roundhouse kick i could block spam.

    michael: spam! spam beasly. spaaamk you very much. ooh spamk me. that’s what she said.

  73. D: Hmm. This new review of Shrute Farms on TripAdvisor is very positive. The screen name seems familiar though…

    M: “Littlekidlover”. Brilliant.

  74. Dwight:
    Hmm… Angela updated her profile. I better leave a comment

    I think your floppy is broken…
    That’s a big hard drive…
    Are you really gonna put your mouth on that…

  75. Dwight: So that’s how you do it.
    Michael: So, that’s how you do it.

  76. Dwight: I could steal his identity in .02 seconds. Idiot.

    Michael: I should take Pam on a date. She’s single, I’m single…

  77. Dwight: This hotel for the Northeastern Office Supplier Convention looks decent enough. I wonder how Monkey could sneak in though…

    Michael: Too bad I’m dating Carol, those rooms look perfect for plenty of Jan time. That’s what she said.

  78. Dwight: Jim was wrong. Brownstone does NOT sell gaydar.

    Michael: I know I told him to find some gaydar, but he doesn’t need to use my computer to do it.

  79. Dwight: This is the 17th time he’s asked me to pull up the “Sex and the City” movie trailer….

    Michael: Yeah……I look just like Big.

  80. Dwight:Uh oh.Time to call in the IT Guy.Michael will not be pleased.

    Michael:I don’t get it, what’s “after the jump”?

  81. Rainn: Juno – $228,273,669 worldwide, sucka!

    Steve: Noah? NOAH!? I’m getting a new agent.

  82. D; Why doesn’t Michael have any purchased songs on itunes?

    M: I LOVE getting 30 second samples of each song. Goodbye my lover…

  83. Dwight: I am so much smarter than this computer. I bet it dosen’t know how to grow beets.
    Michael: Once Dwight is done updating this computer, I think I’m going to IM littlekidlover5. He loves my screen name littlekidlover.

  84. Dwight: …a $2400 bid on this Gandalf figurine should be sufficient.

    Michael: ughhhh…what an idiot.

  85. D’s thought balloon: “I am so good at helping Michael with all his technical needs. That’s what she said!”

    Michael’s thought balloon: “I wonder what else I can get Dwight to do, so I don’t have to? That’s what she said!”

  86. Dwight: If only I was a wizard and not a muggle, I wouldn’t have to use this nefarious mouse.

    Michael: If only I was in a rockin hair band, I would get so much boo-tay!

  87. Dwight: I’m gonna tell the computer to 011001111101.
    Michael: Any bids on my condo yet?

  88. Dwight: I Love Web MD. Especially with the unique kinds of fungi that grows in the farmhouse’s basement.
    Michael:I bet if you click on the pelvis it wouldn’t shatter as easily as Meredith’s.

  89. Dwight: Let’s see…He just need some better protection on this thing so he doesn’t get a virus.

    Michael: That’s what she thought.

  90. Dwight: I wish there were labels on this… I still don’t know where the clitoris is.
    Michael: Darryl banged her!! I’m like 90% positive!

  91. D: Pff. Water-skiing squirrel? Big Deal. I’ve seen beets with more talent…

    M: Wow, look at that little guy.. I bet he would be a nice morale booster around here…I wonder if they have those at the pet store….

  92. D: Pff. A water-skiing squirrel? I’ve seen beets with more talent.

    M: I wonder if Ryan knows about this yet.. Note to self; tell ryan about cool water-skiing squirrel…

  93. D:What do you mean Tanster sold the site to NBC? She cannot surrender to the greater force!

    M: I bet Dwight, that ignorant slut, actually believes this April Fools Joke!

  94. Dwight- He needs more fiber.
    Michael- I wonder what Ryan’s screen saver is…

  95. Dwight: This is a security risk. That Tanster knows everything about us. She must have spies in the office…

    Michael: This Tanster seems dangerous. She’s a threat…Threat-Level Midnight…Dow, dee, dow, dow, dow…great theme music…

  96. DWIGHT: Oh..dear..god. It’s finally happened. A website exists that’s tracking our every move…They almost seem obsessed with us…

    MICHAEL: Oooh! Is that me at the top of the page? I look awesome in my beanie…I look good in hats. Maybe I should try a fedora, or maybe a beret, or a cowboy hat. Definitely a cowboy hat.

  97. Dwight: So many viruses! If I was a computer and Michael was a computer, I would definitely be the Mac.

    Michael: I hope he can save my n3ps.

  98. Dwight: Michael has a lot of spam in his email account, I think I should tell him that.

    Michael: Maybe I should start carpooling to see what the fuss about carpool tunnel syndrome is about…

  99. Dwight: I know there are some good beet pancake recipes.

    Michael: I had my whole Spider Solitaire strategy, and in he comes. (That’s what she said.)

  100. Dwight: I thought Michael would know how to buy music from iTunes.
    Michael: How can I work that James Blunt song into my remakes rep-a-TWAH…

  101. Dwight: Why is Michael making me sign him up for internet classes?

    Michael: Now i’ll be a gentleman AND a scholar…

  102. Michael: Yes! My secondlife character looks a lot like me…very very hot

    Dwight…that’s odd…Michael’s second life character looks a lot like Ryan…

  103. Dwight: nope…still nothing on google about bat birth controll

    Michael:…the body of a racoon…with the head of a…monkey … with

  104. Dwight: Interesting, I did not know fake boobs could look so authentic.

    Michael: Man, I miss Jan.

  105. Dwight: This movie isn’t worth anything. I spent $425 on Battlestar Gallactica: The Complete Series. Totally worth it.

    Michael: Best of the Muppets: Part 2. Only $184.99 on Amazon.

  106. Dwight: If I were this computers’ spyware, I’d start attacking the motherboard within the first seconds after my download completion.

    Michael: I think tonight for dinner I’ll have phish and spam. Oh god, lolz at me.

  107. Dwight: Where’s the Rainn stuff on this Office Tally
    Michael: I’m abso-fruitely okay with all of the Steve Carell mentions. :)

  108. Michael: Mrs. Michael Scott. Mrs. Hatcher-Scott. Mr. Michael Gary Scott-Hatcher. Mr. Teri Hatcher…Mr. Michael Hatcher…
    Dwight: Freeze! Dwight Shrute, Counter Terrorism Unit! Bauer? Bauer! Get over here and arrest these two clowns stat! Stat means now!

  109. Dwight: So you’re in now. Don’t mind all the talk about bacon. They’re strange sometimes.

    Michael: Wait…I don’t understand… are Matt & Mosby brothers? This OTCR thing is awesome. I’ll be chatting every day now!

  110. I accidentally used too many words for my Dwight entry, #67! Revised:

    Dwight: I love the DMI chat room! PaperTrnsMeOn just sent me a message that he wants to have dinner sometime.

    Michael: He asked Dwight out on a date?! Did he even see Pam, or ME from behind?

  111. Dwight: Yes, Hulu is streaming full eps of Battlestar Gallactica.

    Michael: Hulu, Hulu…Who, Lou? Ah, finally, Dwight’s understands the genius of Abbott and Costello.

  112. D: I need to order some tanks for my new spud gun.

    M: That spud gun model is the love of my life, and I will settle for nothing less…

  113. Dwight – Finding Michael an online girlfriend will secure me as his Number 2. My first act as Number 2? Eliminate Andy.

    Michael – Blech. None of these girls are as hot as Jan. No one will ever be as hot as she is.

  114. Dwight: Mmmm…Michael’s going to need more ram.

    Michael: I’m going to need more ram? That’s what she s….shut!…it!

  115. Dwight: Michael appears sick. I may have to WebMD him after this search to help with the diagnosis.

    Michael: Wait. Was it dinkin’ flicka or flinkin’ dicka?

  116. hahaha #26 and #122 are great!

    sorry i can’t think of one right now but just wanted to say these are all hilarious! good job tallyheads!

  117. Dwight: Michael is going to love this second life account. Now, my second life will be even better. No andy or Jim that i’ve seen, which means I will be Michael’s number 2. This life is almost better than my real one…

    Michael: I hope they have Scarn as a last name…

  118. Dwight: Michael’s finances are in terrible shape. Wonder if he would be willing to work at the B&B for extra cash.

    Michael: I wonder if Dwight can download that John Mayer song for free.

  119. Dwight: I didn’t know Creed was a licensed deer urine collector and distributor. Perhaps I have underestimated him

    Michael: Man, I work with a bunch of nerds. How long is he going to be on that thing? That’s what she said! I should write that down.

  120. Dwight: Oh my God. Government-Created Killer Nano Robot Infection IS a real disease … and so is Hot Dog Fingers. Unbelievable …
    Michael: I wonder what sex between a hot dog and a robot would look like …

  121. Dwight: Good think Michael has an Ebay user name. I wouldn’t risk identity theft to sell an overpriced Nissan Xterra.

    Michael: Maybe I should buy an Xterra. Ladies love them and you can’t put a pricetag on ladies..unless you’re Korean.

  122. Michael: I wonder if iTunes has started selling my songs yet, although i’m really not sure if the world is quite ready for Beers in Heaven

    Dwight: I hope michael finishes using the computer soon, i really want to have Goodbye Toby on my ipod by tonight

  123. Dwight: “A few more bids and Dwight’s day will be shaping up to be even better.”

    Michael: “xTerra… xSherra… xCerra… xBerra… Yogi xBerra… no… xBerra naked. There it is; joke landed.”

  124. Dwight: Brittney shaved her head? She looks like an alien. She’ll have to eat loads of beats to grow it back.

    Michael: Maybe I should shave my head, spice things up. Plus it will give me a reason to buy a toupee.

  125. Dwight: Let’s take a look at these system preferences. Security, check. All the correct hardware installed. Display resolution, software, anti-virus–check, check, check. Looks good.

    Michael: Boobs.

  126. Dwight: I’m not going to tell Michael what I think about his Facebook page, he’ll just tell me to shut it.

    Michael: Shut it, Dwight. Just shut it.

  127. Dwight: No website seems to offer synonyms for Mexican.

    Michael: I wonder if there’s another word for synonym.

  128. Dwight: “We never check Web-MD for me. More proof that the Shrute genes are superior. I should be running this place.”

    Michael: “Boobs!”

  129. Michael: These nude photos came out good.
    Dwight: I’ll ask Mose for the number of that boil lancer.

  130. Dwight: Does Harry Potter have a Myspace page?

    Michael: I think i’ll have another filet o-fish for luch.

  131. Dwight: Michael is my boss and I am his assistant… yet I’m the more dominant male. If I wanted to, I could easily manage a revolution to take Michael’s job and probably most of Scranton in the process. No! Stop it me! I must respect the chain of command. He’s probably not even paying attention to what I’m showing him right now.

    Michael: I am going to kiss Holly today. I need stop listening to Jim and make my move. I bet she loves ketchup fights.


    Dwight: If I wanted to, I could easily start a revolution to take Michael’s job and probably most of Scranton in the process.

    Michael: I am going to kiss Holly today. I need stop listening to Jim and make my move. I bet she loves ketchup fights.

  133. I was number 46 but this is better worded
    Dwight: I wonder what’s on michael’s history?
    Michael: Did I delete my history?

  134. Dwight: Excellent. An Are You A Cyclon? quiz.

    Michael: Why is it called a keyboard? That’s a piano. Darryl plays piano. I need to go hang with the warehouse guys tomorrow.

  135. Michael:Hmm… What is Ryan trying to tell me through his pauses with this youtube video? I need Stanley in here.
    Dwight: Where is Troy using his powers? Are Hobbits to short to get in the camera shot?

  136. Dwight: Look I think thats “Jamaica Jan Sun Princess” on this porn site…

    Michael: Jan? What? Why are you looking at that website…what’s the matter with you?

  137. Dwight: Using a sperm donor is completely inefficient even if Michael’s isn’t desirable. The Schrutes have always had impeccable sperm.

    Michael: Is composing an original lullaby the best way to say I love you to someone who’s almost having your baby?

  138. Dwight: Hmmm, a self-defense maneuver for an office environment? I’ll try that next time Jim messes with me. Thanks, OfficeTally!

    Michael: Hmmm, a lovemaking maneuver for an office environment? I’ll call Jan and tell her to bring pillows. Thanks, OfficeTally!

  139. Dwight: Who posted these pictures of Andy and Angela? They must have been Photoshopped!

    Michael: Hmm.. I never would have pinned her as being that flexible…

  140. Dwight: Fact: Michael has many viruses on his computer.

    Michael: 269 viruses! Maybe all those virtual boobs wasn’t worth that. And $99.99 a month. No wonder why I’m in debt.

  141. Dwight: “This peripheral is amazing.”

    Michael: “That’s what she said.”

  142. Dwight: There’s no mention of Troy on the Wikipedia ‘Hobbit’ page. I’d better add that.

    Michael: Wikipedia is the best!

  143. Dwight:I should be running this office. I clearly know how to do everything.

    Michael: Hurry up! I want to log on as LittleKidLover and see if I can pick up any ladies.

  144. Dwight: We need to take infinity down! I am 99% better than this stupid magical box.

    Michael: Can’t you just turn the computer off and it goes away?

  145. Dwight: Our new online store is an embarrassment to the company. It won’t stop going down on me.

    Michael: That’s what she said.

  146. Dwight: It is such an honor to help Michael.
    Michael: Why is Dwight such an idiot?

  147. Dwight: This software is so out of date!

    Michael: Cake sounds good right now.

  148. Michael: Someone sent in a PostSecret about them loving their co-worker more than they should? TMI….

    Dwight: I hope Michael doesn’t recognize my handwriting. Or the “Schrute Farms-You Can’t Beet Our Prices!” slogan on the card.

  149. Dwight: “I wonder if they sell those Men In Black memory erasers on ebay.”

    Michael: “Never knew that all this time him and Angela were still going at it. Thanks for the e-mail

  150. Dwight: Jim Halpert. I despise Jim Halpert. Should I tell Michael what I think he should do with Jim Halpert? He is a disgrace to paper salesmen everywhere. Jim Halpert should work in a beet farm for a year. That would talk some sense into him. Except he would kill all the beets.

    Michael: Dwight smells like beets. Yuck.

  151. Dwight: Jim Halpert is horrible. He should work in a beet farm for a year. Except he would kill the beets.

    Michael: Dwight smells like beets. Yuck.

  152. Dwight: Wait a minute, that’s the woman from Battlestar Galactica!

    Michael: That looks like it HURTS!! I wonder if Jan can do that.

  153. Dwight: Little Kid Lover?

    Michael: Why hasn’t anyone messaged me on the dating site?

  154. Dwight: Why does Michael have a Google Earth link to the coordinates of Ryan’s house?

    Michael: Would it kill Dwight to wash his nasty fingers before he lays them on my keyboard?

  155. I could have sworn that yesterday it said it was a 200 word limit haha! I though that was a little high. Here is my updated 20 word limit version.

    Dwight: I can’t believe how much people are bidding on this Xterra. Who would actually buy this Japanese hunk of junk?

    Michael: Hmm… The Xterra isn’t too shabby looking. Rugged, yet smooth.

  156. Dwight: What the hell? who is this Dwight talking to me online? I’m Dwight! ohh…this could be the future me.
    Michael: I should probably tell Dwight that it’s Jim…no, It’s entertaining and plus it will keep me from doing work.

  157. Dwight: Stupid porn advertisements. How can I serve Michael with all this crap in the way?

    Michael: I wish he’d just click on the porn.

  158. DWIGHT: I cannot believe Michael has me looking up prison webcam sites!

    MICHAEL: Gee, I hope he can find Ryan on one of those webcams.

  159. Michael: I did NOT know the human body can bend that way
    Dwight: Eh, Seen it, in fact, I can do that if I wanted to


  160. Dwight: See. Then the number tells you how many bombs are around it.

    Michael: I thought I was supposed to click on the bombs. The smiley face distracts me.

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