1. I’m not even sure what to say. That was amazing. “Then a woman I have literally never seen before in my entire life started talking very loudly about something involving Halpert.” I think Jim put it best when he said “Yikes.”

  2. wow. creed…this is so so funny…”i also ate 55 hot dogs in 15 minutes which is a world record”

  3. During the finale I was thinking, “I would really love to read that blog!” And now … my wish is their command! (I don’t know who “they” are, but they gave me this awesome, awesome blog, so I’m happy with them!)

  4. For the love of all that is good and decent please keep this blog running NBC!!!!

    Creed, you are my hero.

  5. Creed was exceptional the last several episodes of this season, but I have a feeling that he’s going to be showcased a whole lot more next season. It seems like all the writers like writing for him, and something like that usually gets a character into the script.

  6. This is the same thing he was writing on last nights episode. If you freeze frame it he is about halfway through writing the document, and you can see all the corrections that word has spotted.

  7. “Then a woman I have literally never seen before in my entire life started talking very loudly about something involving Halpert.”

    When I read this I started laughing so loud in my office that my secretary came in to make certain everything was alright. I couldn’t even stop laughing long enough to explain to her that everything was fine, and she just gave me a confused look, turned around, and walked out the door.

  8. “Sometimes when I’m sick, or feeling blue, I drink vinegar. I like all kinds: balsamic, vodka, orange juice, leaves.”

    Brilliance. Heheh.

  9. “Then a woman I have literally never seen before in my entire life started talking very loudly about something involving Halpert.” Hasn’t Creed stared at her like a creep in past episodes? Do you think the hotdog comments are to show he is a pathological liar? I was sure he missed the hotdog eating contest.

  10. i love creed. his blog like screams ADD. haha. i love the part in his blog where he says that when hes sad or feeling blue he drinks vinegar and then starts naming off different kinds of vinegar (balsamic, orange juice, leaves LOL). whew. good stuff :]

  11. I love how he says, “I saw a man fishing bottles out of a garbage can yesterday and it reminded me of a funny story.” Then he just stops. HILARIOUS! And so Creed…

    And I’d pick a chimp over a spider any day of the week, too – spiders ARE notorious for getting lost. Stupid spiders.

  12. And I just noticed that Michael’s combo is different from last week!! Ha ha… oh, Creed.

  13. I wonder who really writes this. Like one of the writers from the show or what.

  14. My take on Creed’s hockey comment: He is suggesting that the players use sticks with blades on them and basically just battle each other without even trying to score like in a normal hockey game. It’s a morbid idea, not necessarily a funny idea, but very, very morbid.

  15. (Possible) Explanation for the hockey line:

    The players would then have a stick with a sharp object on it with which to attack each other. Like those medieval axes? Seems like the type of thing that would entertain Creed…and possibly Dwight.

  16. I just realized that Creed reminds me of one of my history teachers. He once said “You know the old saying?” And then jumped into his lesson without ever finishing the thought.

    And the hockey one is rather funny. I got it the first time, but it seems rather violent for Creed…

  17. LBJ – as in Lyndon B. Johnson? What?! Oh, Creed, we will never understand the workings of your mysterious mind.

  18. What he means by the hockey comments is that he wants the people to tie the blades to their hockey sticks to make axes.

  19. Creed doesn’t know who Pam is just like he didn’t know who Meredith was in tonight’s repeat “The Convention.”

    Creed: (to Meredith) “That’s Andrea the office _itch. Hi, I’m Creed.”

  20. LBJ is not LeBron James. Creed has been in a non-stop drug trip since the 1960s. The Cavaliers star would mean nothing to him.

  21. i just realized, creed is like jack handy on…i don’t even know which drug. probably a mix.

    deep thoughts -> creed thoughts, don’t know how i didn’t see the connection before.

  22. After every blog I read of his, I always think to myself “That’s so Creed!” If anyone else posted blogs like that, it would just be weird. But, when Creed does it, it’s natural. haha!

  23. LBJ meaning Lebron James. Yeah, right, like Creed knows about Lebron. The dude is still living in the 60’s so obviously he means Lyndon Johnson. I love Creed.

  24. LBJ = Lyndon B. Johnson. The 36th President of the United States. Took the presidency after Kennedy was shot in 1962.

    LeBron James? Hehehehe. Not so much. ;)

  25. Be sure to read the comments:

    “I just gave my email to Creed. Was that a bad idea?

    I think LBJ means Lyndon B. Johnson. Our 12th president.

    I would take the spider because I wouldn’t have to buy it a bed. It could sleep in my hair.”

    “I think the ‘man’ who was fishing bottles out of the garbage was actually my pet monkey, who pick pockets raisin bran daily, which fuels his hockey skills with the hearty raisninness.”

  26. The safe combo has changed every week. Do you think it means something?
    Reminder: Michael’s safe combo: 26-32-20
    Reminder: Michael’s safe combo: 26-22-30
    Reminder: Michael’s safe combo: 20-22-36

  27. I noticed that all three combinations to the safe add up to 78. Hmmm, interesting. Creed sits exactly 9 feet away from Kevin, who’s favorite number is 69, 69+9=78. That’s it! The answer to the De Vinci Office Code lies underneath Creed’s desk.

    Wow… I should really get back to work.

  28. How does someone come up with such random,strange, funny thoughts?…

  29. Maybe the safe combo is different every week because Michael has to change it when Creed steals stuff from it.

  30. I just read all of creads blog entries, and i have to say this: Creed is awesome. I especially liked the one when he described the beach day lol.. it reminded me of the “secret” when he found out that jim liked pam and he asked “which one is that?” lol

  31. “The answer to the De Vinci Office Code lies underneath Creed’s desk.”

    And the original sides for Safety Training had Jim losing a flipped coin under Creed’s desk…

  32. The safe combo is changing every week. I wonder why?
    Reminder: Michael’s safe combo: 26-32-20
    Reminder: Michael’s safe combo: 26-22-30
    Reminder: Michael’s safe combo: 20-22-36
    Reminder: Michael’s safe combo: 23-20-26

  33. “If you want to be a good hitchhiker, you’ve got to think outside of the thumb. Don’t just stand there when you could be dancing.”


  34. These posts are so awesome and brilliant. yay for creed liking wisconsin girls!!

  35. These are all great, does anyone know if creed bratton himself actually writes these? Whoever does is an absolute genius.

  36. Wohooo!!!! ON WISCONSIN girls!!!!

    This might not be “peacie” ha ha ha ha

    oh, and Jon/poster 48. I wonder if he’s trying to figure out the combo and he’s using his blog to keep track. ;) Just a theory. Or he’s just messing around. Crazy Creed. I love him. And now that he loves Wisconsin girls, I love him even more!

  37. How is everybody. Getting ready for the Dundies again. Really excited.
    Anybody like laser tag?

  38. I love the Russian Roulette comment – weirdly true.
    As for Zaire – I’m guessing Creed is referring to the Zaire of the 1960s and 1970s (before it became the Congo again). Scary place! (Reminds me of this really cheesy B-movie called Dark of the Sun about Zaire in the 1960s – I can totally see Creed in that setting.

  39. Classic. Anyone ever wonder who really writes these things? It can’t actually be Creed… can it?

  40. I really hope Office Tally holds a Creed Thoughts contest…I think the fans could come up with some great stuff. Fingers crossed.

  41. Also: The safe combo is the same set of digits, just aligned differently with each post. I have no idea what this means, I just thought I would point it out.

  42. I love Creed Thoughts, but what’s up with the terse sentences? Maybe we are seeing the evolution of Creed Thoughts right before our eyes…

  43. Dunno, but it sure sounds like he could’ve written those. What a funny guy.

  44. Bobby Ray Shafer did say Creed was most like his character, and a lot of the other actors post blogs as their character. Also in the commentaries they always say Creed is the best actor so I’m guessing he does write these.

  45. I think Creed and Caboose from RvB are the same person. Seriously, has anyone ever seen them in the same room together?

    And does anyone have a clue as to what I’m talking about? Seriously?

  46. Red vs. Blue!! I haven’t watched them in a long time but I recently searched them and saw that they released their 100th episode. They are amazing and yes, Creed is Caboose, no doubt.

  47. Creed only has four toes right? The restaurant line made me chuckle. I wonder if the combos for the safe are going to be used in anything interactive (nbc website?) later on?

  48. Chris: Yes, I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about, and they are similar…but not the same. Caboose is, after all, a complete moron, and Creed is…well, Creed. :)


  49. Chris “You could totally pick up chick in a tank” RvB is awesome.

    Best Creed thought “I like my women LOUD”

    Ditto that my brotha!!

  50. “A pinky’s always a pinky, but a pointer and a ring finger are pretty interchangeable if you need them to be.”

    So Creed’s an Arrested Development fan, too. Awesome.

    Also, the mere mention of Saskatchewan Mounties just made my day.

  51. “My favorite part of the newspaper is the fun little stories about the dead people and their relatives.” I letterally threw my head back and laughed out loud. That’s rare.

  52. I think he’s trying to remember Michael’s safe combo from memory each time, and he keeps jumbling the digits by accident. I used to get confused about my middle school locker combo like that too.

  53. Agreed, Brittany. My favorite Creed Thoughts entry… Ever.

    “Go ahead, idiots, keep throwing your cash away. Old Creed will make those wishes come true.”

    You tell em’, Creed.

  54. The bus trip blog is funny … maybe I will keep reading Creed Thoughts. I had almost given up.

  55. I know this has been asked before, but does Creed Bratton write these himself, if so, he’s a genius.

  56. These Creed thoughts are hilarious! The sharp wit of the “Office” writers knows no bounds!

  57. His “winning is everything when it comes to Russian Roulette” quote is all-time classic.

  58. Funny stuff. So which of the writers do you guys think is writing these? BJ? Gene? Paul?

  59. Brilliant entry. I like that, when viewing this in the in-universe context, Creed got this idea after seeing Dwight’s vampiric reaction in Business School. He sees money in exploiting the Schrute’s of the world.

  60. Denise: I guess we now know where Creed’s campaign funds are coming from :)

  61. hmm the governor is in harrisburg, not philly. but other than that, hilarious!

    “more funding for public schools.”

  62. Looks like we’re definitely in an upswing. I wonder if they’ll ever reveal who is (or are) writing them.

  63. Number Five: I will institute a database with pictures of every resident in the state naked. Every five years, a citizen can request to view any one person’s naked picture for a viewing period of ten minutes. After they’ve used up their viewing, they have to wait another five years until they can view another. It’s just not fair for all these foxy ladies to be walking around without anyone being able to see them naked. This is going to be the cornerstone of my campaign.

    Wow, this made me laugh so hard.

    Vote for Creed!!

  64. “…view any one person’s naked picture for a viewing period of ten minutes.”

    To quote Stephen Merchant’s Darren Lamb from Extras, “All I need is ten minutes, tops, I can get everything done I need to.”

  65. I’ve never been more proud to be from Pennsylvania. Creed for Governor! He’ll be very confused when he goes to Philly to find the Governor’s mansion.

  66. Creed just gets funnier.
    He must not have a lot to do..he blogs so frequently…but I appreciate it. It *almost* makes up for not having The Office all summer. Almost.

  67. As a Pennsylvania resident, it would be scary to think that my naked picture would be on file somewhere….but I think I’d rather have Creed as our governor. As a teacher, I’d like the extra funding for public schools.
    Creed for Governor!!

  68. Does anyone else find these things way too far-fetched to the point that they’re not really that funny? They seem a little bit too out there to even be in character for a nutcase like Creed.

    I did like the first entry though. :)

  69. Crab apples is possibly the best one yet. “An instant cure for cancer!” That is priceless!

  70. heyethan-

    i think that’s the point! remember when ryan was explaining that even for the internet, creed’s blog was shocking? it’s funny for me, because yes, some of the content is so absolutely ludicrous, to imagine someone (namely, creed bratton) doing something like shimmying over a razor-wire fence with a stolen TV, then using a crab apple as some restorative salve?

    just visualize and tell me it doesn’t elicit even the smallest of chuckles.

  71. This one was very funny. I think the best Creed Thoughts entries read like an extended talking head.

  72. haha, do PA supermarkets sell any alcoholic beverages? or is there a ban strictly against the sale of white wine?

  73. It’s PA state law that you can only buy alcohol at “state stores,” or beer distributors or obviously restaurants and bars with licenses. They do sell sparkling juices and non-alcoholic mixes at PA grocery stores, so we’ll just pretend that he mistakenly bought sparkling white grape juice thinking it was the good stuff :)

    “It just goes to show you: you can screw with Old Creed all you want, but in the end he’s always going to win.” Creed rules!

  74. wow. and i thought it was bad enough that they don’t sell on Sundays here…

    anyway, “You catch more flies with really friendly decoy flies, that’s what I always say…” hahahahaha.

  75. wow, you get to know more about creed in this entry… he was married before, likes tall women, and has sex pants! lol, i love this guy…

  76. I wonder if this stuff, these little facts about his life that they are posting in the blogs this summer, will count as canon for when they reveal things about him on the real show this season? Or if they will feel free to go in a different direction, different backstory.

    What do you all think?

  77. I think Creed’s backstory doesn’t have to fall in line with anything they do on the show. In fact, I hope it doesn’t there are already too many people to keep track of. It’s nice to have that one person that isn’t supposed to make any sense, he’s just there to make you go “WHAT?!?!?” and then laugh.

    Sex Pants.

  78. I think it’s safe to assume anything said in Creed’s blog with be forgotten by Creed shortly thereafter… that’s assuming it was ever true and not just a pharmaceutically-clouded dream of what he thinks happened to him…

  79. @133:

    I agree. I remember a deleted scene from season 2 (can’t remember the eppy for the life of me) where Creed has said his concentration time is 90 seconds.

  80. “People have to stop saying “that bugs me.” It’s racist.”
    Awesome! He’s the best.

  81. I love that he throws in “livestock relocation” like it’s on a par with city destruction and political domination. Plus, the mental image of that is hilarious. Thank you, Creed!

  82. I wonder if Creed ever hung out at the dump with a talking rat (who sounded like Paul Lynde)??? I wouldn’t put it past him. I love Creed.

  83. “First time I’ve ever beaten a midget in anything. It felt good.”

    this is why i am in love with creed.

  84. i love the name of the games. “move these rocks”. classic. i also how he enslaved the children and created his own personal sweatshop. Crafty Creed at work is a scary thought.

  85. “Special Note: To Osama Bin Laden: Watch out for my bird bombs, sucker. You better duck every time an eagle flies by.” – Dawesome, way to be a patriot Creed :-)

  86. Ugh.

    That head trauma comment wasn’t appropriate at all considering what happened on Sunday, especially being followed by a comment about neck strength.

    I really think they need to take this one down.

  87. You bring up an interesting point zorro, but I disagree that it should be taken down. If this had been posted last week we all would have found it hilarious (I still personally do). Just because one of the comments made actually happened to someone should not in anyway make it ‘off limits.’ If it was ok a week ago, it should be ok now. Which brings up a whole other debate we won’t get into. I’m sure whoever wrote it had no intention of poking fun or making light of the awful thing that happened on Sunday.

  88. For those that don’t know, last Sunday, Kevin Everett of the Buffalo Bills sustained a life-threatening neck injury. As of yesterday he is able to wiggle some of his body parts below his neck as well as having some mild sensation. Full recovery is unlikely, but he may be able to walk again at some point.

  89. I understand the sensitivity toward Everett’s injury, but I think the blog comments are fairly innocuous. Bad taste? Probably. But primarily these are otherwise funny comments made at the wrong time.

  90. “Bad taste? Probably. But primarily these are otherwise funny comments made at the wrong time.”

    Couldn’t have put it better Samuel.

  91. GO CREED THOUGHTS!!!!!!!!! And despite any allegations, I doubt there are ever any personal attacks or jokes made at someone else’s expense. Of course, I could ask, “Do you WATCH – the – show?!”

  92. Oh yeah, almost forgot, when might we see or find some Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration stuff? They’re all gonna end up working for Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration when Bob Vance’s Vance Refrigeration takes over and outsells Dunder Mifflin anyway….

  93. Do any of you get the feeling that Creed and Meredith would be great together?
    I think that should be the next story line this season

  94. LOL! I don’t even want to know about the dangling moose! I wonder who writes these…..

  95. Oh, Creed. Someone as intimately familiar with the justice system as you are would know that breaking and entering with intent to commit a felony is burglary :).

  96. I agree with Andrea, Creed and Meredith would make a great couple. The writers could have a field day with those two!

  97. i love that creed puts all the jellos together in the purse with the sauce. that is absolutely disgusting!! but whenever i think of jello– i think of jim putting dwight’s stapler in it.

  98. Hey, I think he might be onto something with the sauce thing. I bet I’d save a lot on grocery money.

  99. Oh. My. Gosh.

    Slipping his Ma a 10 spot to keep the dog. Classic.

    And the horse-faced kid?? Too, too funny…fruity electronics.

    That rocked.

  100. Ah, Creed. I loved when he said this about Ryan: “the kid’s real scrawny and has a horse face.”

  101. “The other day I turned on the TV and everyone on the screen was a caveman. Freaked my bean, man”


    Thank you NBC for that.

  102. Question: Who writes Creed Thoughts? If it isn’t Creed, then I assume it is the writers…so why are their new ones? Because I didn’t think it was Creed, but maybe I am wrong…also, if it is Creed, why does he still do it? He should go on strike too.

  103. 182, that’s what I’ve been wondering! Maybe they were just written in advance, before the strike?

  104. 183 vielgluck, go here for the answer.

    (Summary: the strike is about scripted content. The writer quoted on that post says “Keep on reading the character blogs. It’s all we’ve got right now!”)

  105. I’m going to ask the question again since it’s been bugging me for a while – who writes Creed Thoughts? The writers are on strike. I would assume many of the actors from The Office are too, since they help a good deal in the writing.

  106. I could be, and probably am, completely wrong but this new one seems like something the real Creed Bratton could have written. Or at least consulted upon.

    Key lines were: “[Bass players] should also be expert head-nodders” and “make sure whomever you pick [to play drums] can count to four.”

  107. Loved the new Creed Thoughts and now I have The Grass Roots playing in my head. Great shout-out to Keith Moon!

    One problem – can’t believe Creed used the word “whomever” – he hates that word.

  108. hmm…..this one seems less creed from scranton and more creed in hollywood. he didn’t seem that crusty and totally clueless like he usually does. no “where did that come from?” line.

    i totally agree w/ you phyllis*farm!!

  109. Did anyone catch this comment.

    “I hate reading everyone’s crappy comments. You all think your so funny, but you know what I’m the funniest. I’m glad the writers strike is over. I was promised more tv time so kudos everyone” It said it was posted by Creed. Is that true, or am I just dumb lol.

  110. Now, Creed is a citizen of Pennsylvania, correct? There was no primary for him to vote for, if he in fact voted in a primary and not at some AARP meeting.

  111. Angie, he says later that he voted in NJ, NY and CT – states for which he has fake drivers licenses. That’s our Creed! Read the rest – it’s hilarious!

  112. lol now THIS post is a good one!

    hahaha poor creed. acid reflux kills (or so i have heard)

  113. oh creed. so that’s why you were freaking out when holly asked what you do here.

    I got a little worried, but now i realized it was just the vivamaxxplus.

    i loved that scene by the way. was that a deleted scene?

  114. So THAT explains the Qua-something confusion! Great to have new material over the summer, though.

  115. I like how he dreams up Rash World then proceeds to wonder if his own creation would have funnel cakes.

  116. I was almost ready for Creed to give his two cents about the economic crisis. But then I remembered something. He’s Creed.

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