The Office: Valentine’s Day, 2.16

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The Office: Valentine's Day

Writer: Michael Schur, Director: Greg Daniels

Summary: Michael and Jan attend a meeting in New York, while back in Scranton, some experience Valentine’s Day disappointment while others delight in bobbleheads and giant teddy bears.

The Office Valentine’s Day extras

  • Read more about Valentine’s Day in Jenna’s TV Guide blog and Angela’s MySpace blog here and here!
  • You can find the “Faces of Scranton” video here.
  • In Dwight’s MySpace blog (before he took it down), he named as the maker of Dwight’s bobblehead.
  • Read James’ Northern Attack recap.
  • I hooked up with her on February 13th
  • From Jenna Fischer’s MySpace blog, dated February 9, 2006: “Tonight’s show is Valentine’s Day. While shooting this episode, Phyllis gives an interview where she talks about what she’s planning to give her boyfriend Bob Vance for Valentine’s Day. In one take she did an improv that was so incredibly funny it made our executive producer fall out of his chair. We had to stop filming for about 10 minutes while we all recovered. I am hoping they put in on the Season 2 DVD – it’s too dirty for TV. Also in this episode, Pam changes her hair! I wear a pink sparkly headband in honor of Valentine’s Day. You’ll have to let me know what you think.”

The Office Valentine’s Day quotes

Dwight: Question: Will you be seeing Jan when you’re in New York?
Michael: I probably will. Why do you ask?
Dwight: Well, it’s Valentine’s Day. And you guys, you know …
Michael: Yeah.
Dwight: … screwed.
Michael: What is your problem.

Michael: It’s New York, City of Love.

Michael: Hey Pam, you heart NY, right?

Michael: Dude, I’m going to nail it. Me in New York? Oh, I own that city. Fuggedaboudit!

Michael: New York, New York. The city so nice, they named it twice.

Dwight: It’s me. I’m the bobble-head. Yes!

Michael: … right here is my favorite New York pizza joint. And I’m gonna go get me a New York slice. (Michael walks toward Sbarro.)

Kelly: So in my head, I was like, Ryan, what’s taking you so long? And then he kissed me. And I didn’t know what to say. So I said, “Ryan, what took you so long?” I mean, I just said it to him. Can you believe that?
Jim: Wow.
Kelly: Oh my God, Jim. Is that embarrassing? I’m embarrassed.
Jim: No, don’t be.
Kelly: Oh, thank God. Because I was nervous, Jim. You will not believe.
Jim: I bet.
Kelly: I was so nervous. But now — now I have a boyfriend!

Ryan (anguished): I hooked up with her on February 13th.

Michael: Here it is. Heart of New York City. Times Square. Named for the good times you have when you’re in it.

Michael: Great places to eat. (Pointing down the street) We have Bubba Gump Shrimp, Red Lobster down there. You know. This is, this is the heart of civilization right here.

Michael: Everybody takes the subway in New York. It’s fast, it’s efficient, gets you there on time. It’s a way to — (rushing back upstairs) okay, there’s a guy pooping in a cardboard box down there.

Michael: This is the world-famous Rockefeller Center. Founded, of course, by Theodore Rockefeller. This is the skating rink. And I think the Rangers practice there sometimes.

Michael: I thought that was Tina Fey, but it wasn’t. Are you serious? He was here? When? When I was talking to the fake Tina Fey? Come on!

Dwight: Hello, Angela. Did you hear? Somebody totally rocked the house and got me the best present I’ve ever gotten.
Angela: Really? I wouldn’t know anything about that. But I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Dwight: Oh, I did. I did.
Angela: I didn’t get anything for Valentine’s Day.
Dwight: Oh, I bet you will before the day is over.
Angela: Really? Well, I hope I do.

Michael: Scranton is great, but New York is like Scranton on acid. No, on speed.
Nah. On steroids.

Michael: There is a lot of pressure on me right now. It’s like Michael Jordan in the NBA finals, or, like, Stormin’ Norman Schwarzkopf. And this presentation is Desert Storm. And as soon as it’s over, we will not have to deal with those Iraqis anymore.

Kevin: Man, that thing’s bigger than I am.
Delivery guy: No, it’s not.
Kevin: Oh, zip it.

Dwight (whispering): Pam, hi. How you doing? Good. Listen, uh, may I speak with you … privately?
Pam: You can’t fire me, Dwight, just ’cause Michael’s not here.

Dwight: … the reason I didn’t get anything for this particular person — who shall remain nameless — is that she’s not really the kind of person you’d think would be into Valentine’s Day. She’s kind of …
Pam: Tightly wound?
Dwight (smirking): Exactly.
Pam: Okay. Well, sometimes the gift is really about the gesture, you know, like what it means instead of what it is.
Dwight: You mean, like a ham?
Pam: No. Not like a ham. It’s about doing something so that the person knows that you really care about her. That you remember her.
Dwight: Okay, I get it. That’s great. Okay, shut up.

Craig: I don’t work for that bitch.

Josh: You hooked up with Jan?

Kelly: I don’t know what he’s thinking, but I would just be so psyched if we just dated forever.

Kelly (to Ryan): Hey, so … do you want to … do something tonight? Or …
Jim (under breath): Oh, no, not while I’m here.

Jan: Nervous? No, I’m not nervous. Well, I mean, I guess I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was a little nervous. Um, the new CFO is judging me on this too. And, well, it is Michael. So (pauses), yeah, I’m very nervous.

Michael: Life moves a little slower in Scranton, Pennsylvania. And that’s the way we like it. ‘Cause at Dunder Mifflin, Scranton, we’re not just in the paper business, we’re in the people business.

Michael: Yeah, I shot a bunch of footage around the office, edited it together on my Mac. Was thinking about entering it in some festivals. Probably won’t. You know, not what this is about.

Michael: And finally, Pam Beesly. Look at her. Look how cute. Not bad at all. As the receptionist, Pam is truly the gateway to our world. Well, I hope this gave you a little taste of what life is like here at Dunder Mifflin, Scranton. What it’s like to walk a mile in Oscar’s shoes. Or try on Phyllis’ pants. Next time you’re in town, give us a call. Stop on by. I’m sure you’ll be greeted by a big smile and a “How you doing, pal?” Maybe even one of Angela’s famous brownies. And you’ll know that you’re home.

Michael: Great Scott!

Pam (delivering plant to Oscar’s desk): Oscar.
Angela: Nothing for me?
Pam (walking away): Join the club.

Jim: So you just gotta suck it up. You just gotta move on. Try to have some fun. Come to my poker game tonight.
Kelly: Okay, cool. Is it okay if I invite Ryan?

Craig: I did not understand this was supposed to be a full on like report or whatnot.

Michael: I’m sorry. I’ll … fix this. I’ll … talk to him. I’ll talk to David.
Jan: Surely, you cannot be serious.
Michael: I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley. Airplane.

Dwight: Women are like wolves. If you want a wolf, you have to trap it. You have to snare it. And then you have to tame it. Keep it happy. Care for it. Feed it. Lovingly, the way an animal deserves to be loved. And my animal deserves a lot of loving.

Pam: I mean, I know that we said no big gifts, but I was kind of hoping you’d get me something for Valentine’s Day.
Roy: Well, Valentine’s Day isn’t over. Let’s get you home, and you are gonna get the best sex of your life.

Michael: And Craig, you saw him, he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. Although he is a tool.

Michael: Oy vey … schmear.

Icon provided by fanelia_angel.


  1. Love the kiss between Michael. And Michael’s new competition for worst manager ever.

  2. I was disappointed at the lack of JAM action, but I guess something to happen between them on V-Day would be a little cliche. Its a shame though.

  3. Bummer that nothing at all happened between Pam and Jim, after so much hype! Yeah Eric, I did not see that kiss coming at ALL! I thought Jan was smarter than that!

  4. Happy Valentine’s Day. Love, Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration. Too much!

    If Michael ever takes Jan out to dinner at Bubba Gumps, he’s doomed.

  5. Immediately after viewing last night’s episode, I was *extremely* upset over the lack of Jim/Pam interaction, especially since the promos leading up to the episode seemed to imply otherwise. But now that I have had a chance to calm down, I can appreciate the brilliance of the writers to reflect what happens in real life: utterly shattered expectations on Valentine’s Day. It happens to the best of us!

  6. Marc, to answer your question, I think it’s because people were disappointed that there wasn’t more Jim/Pam interaction.

    Love your site, by the way…. :)

  7. This episode was voted third-to-worst so far? What’s the deal? This was probably in my top five of the series so far.

  8. Agreed, Aaron. I thought it was one of the better episodes of the last few weeks, even though Jan/Michael was the focus of the episode instead of Jim/Pam. I have to say that it’s very intriguing how they’re handling Jim’s reaction to Pam getting married. I’m gonna guess Pam’s gonna end up trying to get back to Jim’s good side by doing little things for him like Jim used to do for her.

  9. The best part of the episode was the Jan/Michael kiss.

    :) Does anyone else think they’re like Jim/Pam without all the angst?

  10. Congratulations to Brian, Marc, and Rvan for winning’s iTunes Drawing this week!

    I have just emailed you the “Valentine’s Day” video. Enjoy! :)

  11. I LOVED this episode so much! I love the relationships between the couples and non couples. Dwight and Angela are my favorite. They remind me of two kids who are boyfriend and girlfriend but don’t want anyone to know.

  12. I just love the romance that Jan keeps resisting between herself & Michael.

    Will she ever give in?

    There are real sparks there!


  13. This is my all time favorite episode. The bobblehead scene just cracked me up! The expression on Dwight’s face was classic! The Office in general is my favorite show! Please sell the Dwight bobblehead!

  14. i guess i’m the only one who loved the “technically, we fell asleep in the same bed so…” correction by michael?? guess i’m just a college kid who uses that definition too

  15. Why is this one ranking so low?

    This has cracked my top 6 all-time.

    Loved the one liners.

  16. I’m guessing the reason this episode is so low is because of the lack of the Jim-Pam interaction on Valentines Day?
    but c’mon, this episode is in my top five, it’s freaking hilarious! I mean not every episode can be about Jim-Pam

  17. You’re right, Gus. It really chaps me when funny episodes are rated lowly due to lack of Jim-Pam romance, and then episodes that aren’t as funny but have a Jim-Pam moment are rated extremely high. I love Jim and Pam but you have to look at the episode as a whole…

  18. I love the part when Michael mistakes the woman for Tina Fey and then he completely misses Conan O’Brien.

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