Toby Flenderson, Director of Human Resources, hosts “A Night at the Office” marathon tonight.
Five “human resource nightmare” episodes will air surrounding an all-new episode of “Andy Barker P.I.” at 9:30pm ET. The encore episodes include “Diversity Day” (8–8:30pm ET), “Healthcare” (8:30-9:00pm), “Sexual Harassment” (9–9:30pm ET), “The Injury” (10–10:30pm ET) and “Gay Witch Hunt” (10:30-11pm ET).
Discuss the “A Night at the Office” marathon here.
Toby: Hi, I’m Toby Flenderson. Or as Michael refers to me, “Worthless.” Or “Everything That’s Wrong with the Paper Industry.” Or “The Devil’s Butthole.” Or “The Mayor of Creepsville.” Or “Gargamel.” Or “Human Fart.” Or … HR nightmares here at Dunder Mifflin? I don’t know if I’d call them that, you know? “Nightmare” implies that it’s something you wake up from. This is more of an unrelenting daymare, kind of this never-ending dreamscape of horror.
Toby: So when I finally re-did our health care plan, I picked an HMO. And Michael came to me and he said, “Why’d you pick a homo?” And I said, “I didn’t. And that’s a derogatory word for a gay person.” And he said, “That’s what you are.” And I said, “Okay, I gotta go.” And he called me a slut.
Toby: After Michael grilled his foot, he spent three months inventing a foot-safe version of the George Foreman grill. He called it the “Magic No-Ouchie Meat Machine.” It’s actually a George Foreman grill in a bunny cage.
Toby: Sometimes when I come into work, I ask myself if this were my last day on Earth, what would I do differently. Well, I’d wear a t-shirt, and I’d order a French dip sandwich and I’d eat the whole thing. And I’d blow this building up. And I’d go swimming. And I’d drink wine. What?