2.10: Christmas Party
Tuesday, December 6th, 2005 | 7 comments
Written by: Michael Schur
Summary: A dreary office gift exchange becomes contentious when Michael turns it into a “Yankee swap.” The party livens up once Michael brings in the booze. And a special teapot finally is returned to its rightful recipient.
Favorite quotes
Kevin: Why did you get it so big?
Michael: A, that’s what she said, and B, I wanted it to be impressive. The biggest day of the year deserves the biggest tree of the year.
Kevin: But what are we gonna do with this hacked-off part?
Michael: Well, that is a perfectly good mini-tree, Kevin. And we are going to sell that to charity. That’s what Christmas is all about.
Jim: So this year, for the first time ever, I got Pam in Secret Santa. And I got her this, uh, teapot, which I know she really wants, so she can make tea at her desk. But, I’m also gonna stuff it with some inside jokes. Like, this is my high school yearbook photo. She saw it at the party, and it really makes her laugh. Not sure why. Um, what else? Ooh, this is a hot sauce packet. She put this on a hot dog a couple of years ago because she thought it was ketchup. And, uh, it was really funny, so I kept the other two. This would take a little too long to explain (Jim holds up a little pencil), so I won’t. And this is the card. Because Christmas is the time to tell people how you feel.
Michael: Merry Christmas! Ho, ho, ho, pimp!
Michael: Double everything. Double ice cream. Double napkins. Double it. On me.
Michael: Check it out. Christmas bonus. Three thousand Gs.
Michael: I want people to cut loose. I want people … making out in closets. I want people hanging from the ceilings, lampshades on the heads. I want it to be a Playboy Mansion party.
Michael: Like booze ever killed anybody.
Dwight: You guys should use a handtruck.
Kevin: Do we have one?
Dwight: No.
Michael (to Darryl): You want to be Santa? Have you ever seen Santa?
Dwight: Michael, I would like to be the elf.
Michael: That makes sense, because he has elfish features.
Toby: I got Angela. She’s into these posters of babies dressed as adults. I got her one of those. I felt kind of weird buying that.
Oscar: I got Creed. And to tell you the truth, I don’t know anything about Creed. I know his name’s Creed. I know he works right over there. I think he’s Irish and I … I got him this, uh, shamrock keychain.
Kevin: I got myself for Secret Santa. I was supposed to tell somebody, but I didn’t.
Michael: Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It is like this tangible thing that you can point to and say, hey man, I love you this many dollars worth.
Jim: He obviously forgot to get me something. And then he went into his closet and dug out this little number. And then threw it in a bag.
Creed: Yep, that’s exactly what happened.
Jim: I thought that was called Nasty Christmas.
Kelly: That’s like the creepiest thing that I’ve ever seen.
Michael: Everyone wants the iPod. It’s a huge hit. It is almost a Christmas miracle.
Michael: Reverse psychology is an awesome tool. I don’t know if you guys know about it, but basically, you make someone think the opposite of what you believe, and that tricks them into doing something stupid. Works like a charm.
Michael: Who wants to take paintball lessons? How is that better than an iPod?
Dwight: Take that, Saddam!
Dwight: I want the teapot, gracias.
Jim: Gotta be kidding me.
Dwight: Yankee Swap is like … Machievelli meets … Christmas.
Michael: Unbelievable, I do the nicest thing that anyone’s ever done for these people, and they freak out. Well, Happy Birthday, Jesus, sorry your party’s so lame.
Michael: Now you’re the expert, is this enough to get twenty people plastered?
Store guy: Fifteen bottles of vodka? Yeah, it should do it.
Dwight: “A real man makes his own luck.” Billy Zane, Titanic.
Jim: To think that my gift to Pam will be used for that, it’s a little too much to handle.
Meredith: The deal is, this is my last hurrah, cuz I made a New Year’s resolution, that I’m not going to drink anymore. During the week.
Bob: Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.
Ryan: What line of work you in, Bob?
Michael: Anybody making out in here? Not yet, give it time.
Michael: Kudos to Ryan, King of the Party Committee!
Jim: This is an amazing gift because it comes with bonus gifts.
Pam: Yeah, I think I made the right choice.
Pam: Is this the Boggle timer?
Packer: Merry Christmas, asswipe!
Packer: What’s up, ma nerds?
Packer: Pack Man need a drinky.
Ryan: Whose butt is that?
Kevin: Mine.
Ryan: Oh, how did I not guess that.
Dwight: You shouldn’t do things like that. The man is supposed to do that!
Michael: It really is the greatest day of all time.
Tidbits
- Read about Christmas Party in Jenna’s MySpace blog and Angela’s MySpace blog here and here!
- One of songs playing during the party is “Christmas in Hollis” by Run DMC.
- Check out Michael’s Christmas Party photos.
- Download the Christmas wallpaper.
- Read James’ Northern Attack recap.
This Week
Watch 'Frame Toby' promos here.
Angela Kinsey appears today on the Roe Conn show WLS-AM 890, sometime from 2-7pm Central time. Tipster: Janice
NBC Store
The Office Seasons 1-4 DVD
It's the ultimate package!
(That's what she said.)
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I really wanna see the pictures that Michael took this day (minus the topless pic of Meredith towards the end).
Hey AgG_foo, I think the NBC site posted Michael’s pictures shortly after the episode aired. Don’t know if they are still there, though….
The Christmas show was really great. I hope that the show keeps all the people who are in the office, because they all deserve to have top billing. I just love this show!!! All “The Office” workers are are so great together. Love, Helen
Number 1?…really?
The one thing that is not consistent is that dwight said he wanted the teapot cuz he gets sinus infections, but…..back in season one, (Healthcare episode) he says he has a perfect immune system. soooooooo.
One of the first episodes I saw. Strange to see how mean Michael could seem to be. But it really got rolling with the Jim/Pam gift exchange.
They’re both sweet characters.
Inspired by this episode I had the back of my wife’s iPod engraved with Michael’s line - I love you an iPod’s worth.