The Office: Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager, 7.24

Thursday, May 12th, 2011 | 116 comments

tfes

The Office: Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager

W: Justin Spitzer, D: Troy Miller

Summary (NBC): Dwight takes over as acting manager and applies draconian tactics to the office. Meanwhile, Gabe tries to win Erin back. Guest star: Kathy Bates.

Icon provided by pessimistreader.

The Office Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager trivia

Rating

In a poll conducted May 12-16, 2011, Tallyheads rated this episode: 8.81/10

The Office Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager quotes

Manually transcribed by tanster :)

Dwight: Mose, you’ll never guess where I am right now.

Pam: Do I at least get to go with you on this fantasy?

Jim: I find that the first hour of the day goes by a lot quicker than the second seven hours.

Dwight: Your copier code is a distinct 21-digit number that is unique to you and you only.

Jim: Question: if we’ve already fomented insurrection, may we be grandfathered in?
Dwight: Define foment.
Jim: You define foment.

Dwight: You stop me when I reach the diseased area.

Gabe: I need to get her back. I can’t be alone anymore!

Gabe: Andy, do you like being alone with me right now?

Dwight: What’s this? What’s The Fist?
Jim: Oh, it’s just a social club. You know, like the French Revolution or the Black Panthers or communism. It’s just a club. Guys talking, you know.

Jim: I hate when everybody calls us a rebellion.

Dwight: I would love to join The Fist.
Jim: And we would love to have you. But not today, unfortunately. It’s a bad day, what with Operation Overthrow and everything. But, I have noted it.

Andy: I have to show you this video. You’re going to love it. It’s Beyonce falling, with a fart mixed in.

Dwight: I will never be happier than I am right now. I will also never be less happy. I will be at my current maximum happiness for the rest of my life. Because I am manager of the Scranton branch of Dunder Mifflin. Acting manager.

Gabe: I don’t believe in horoscopes. I don’t believe in Christmas. I sure as hell don’t believe in God.

Gabe: But for all of the disbelief, I believe in us. I believe in love.

Erin: Dwight doesn’t trust robots to give us our messages.

Erin: Gabe was a great guy with so many wonderful qualities, but it was a challenge being touched by him.

Jim: Wow, you really embraced the whole Bond villain aesthetic.

Dwight: The gun is a Beaumont-Adams. Jo collects them.

Dwight: The piranha’s a rescue.

Dwight: The desk is a replica of Uday Hussein’s desk. I saw a picture in Newsweek.

Dwight: I need you to promise me that you’ll be on your best behavior.
Jim: I promise…ed other people that I’d be on my worst behavior.

Dwight: Don’t make me pre-fire you.
Jim: You wouldn’t dare.
Dwight: Watch this. You’re pre-fired! And when I’m promoted, you’ll be full-fired!
Jim: If you get promoted, and if you haven’t fallen in love with me by then.
Dwight: What?

Jim: If I had thought that there was a real chance that Dwight would be permanent manager, I would have pre-quit. And you might be saying to yourself, “Well, that’s pretty premature to think,” but I always say, “It’s better to be pre-pre-pre-prepared.”

Dwight: Everyone here thinks that you’re a joke.

Dwight: As your pale skin and severe bone structure imply, you’ll age swiftly and poorly.

Dwight: It’s a holster.

Pam: Dwight, are you carrying a gun?
Dwight: The holster was a gift from my great-uncle Honk.

Dwight: Why would I put a banana in my holster?

Andy: God! It’s so loud!

Oscar: My god. There is a hardwood floor underneath this carpeting. Why would they do that?

Andy: I can’t find perfect C.

Kelly: Dwight went on a shooting spree, and then he shot Andy in the head.

Dwight: No one saw the bullet leave the gun.

Oscar: I’ll look on WebMD. What are your symptoms?

Gabe: We really shouldn’t be without a receptionist. Now more than ever.

Toby: I’ve never used the gun violence forms before.

Dwight: Howdy, partners! It’s me, Gun Safety Dwight.

Dwight: What did Andy’s tie look like?
Erin: Navy blue, little red anchors.

Dwight: Managing you for this last week has been the greatest honor of my life, and if you ruin this, I will burn this office to the ground. And I mean that figuratively. Not literally. Because you guys are so, so important to me. I love you guys. But don’t cross me. But you’re the best!

Darryl: I don’t feel good about it, but he just kept calling himself a gunshot victim, and it got to me.

Kelly: Why did my temporary boss go on a shooting spree?

Angela: I want Pet Day back. No dogs.

Kevin: Put everything back in the vending machine. Except the fruit.

Pam: You have to get rid of all your weapons. All of them. Including killer fish.

Jim: When Jo’s here, can you work in “shagadelic, baby” at least three times in a conversation? Oh, and when I cough, can you do jazz hands?

Jo: Nobody let my dogs hump each other. They don’t seem to know they’re brothers.

Jo: Slow yourself down, there! Just like a man, wants to jump right into it while I still got my socks on.

Jim: Let me assure you, Dwight is firing on all cylinders.

Andy: You were in hysterics and my maternal instincts kicked in.

Dwight: Oh god, what am I touching? It’s moist.

Kevin: Knead it. Knead it like a pizza!

Jo: Beaumont-Adams is a girl’s gun. That just makes it plain stupid.

Jo: Stop asking yourself easy questions so you can look like a genius.

Jo: I love you, Dwight. But you don’t fit this job.

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116 comments

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  1. 116. rocketfan86  

    I thought Mose didn’t know how to use a phone?


  2. 115. Subtle Sexuality  

    I only have one question: What is up with Kelly??????? I’m freaking out.
    Is she. . . . ??


  3. 114. Mamajujubooboo  

    You know this was a good episode when you didn’t even think about
    Michael Scott/Steve Carell ;)


  4. 113. Moze  

    Man, this episode was so funny. Dwight should be the new manager. I really think it should be someone who’s already in the cast. I mean how fun and perfect would that be? See that’s what’s so wrong about Steve leaving. It’s the idea that someone totally *new* will be trying to live up to our expectations. Trying to be just as funny when really we all know that everything is just gonna be screwed up. The new manager should be someone we’re all comfortable with. Like Dwight.
    This episode was PERFECTION ;)


  5. 112. Beet Farmer in Training  

    You see, folks! If you are clueless at your job long enough, you too can become manager!

    I wonder if Creed will get his own place now that he’s acting manager, or just keep living at the homeless shelter.

    Say it with me: NO NEW CHARACTERS!! NO NEW CHARACTERS!!
    1- A new manager’s assistant? What exactly is Erin’s job now? Answering the phone and making copies? Wait…she can’t make copies for everybody, unless she knows their codes.
    2- There have been 3 accountants doing the job of 2 for years. Now they’re hiring a 4th?
    3- Stanley’s daughter is joining the cast? What for?

    Are we to believe that a cost-conscious corporation like Sabre is going to add these employees needlessly? Flesh out the characters we’ve come to love. Just not Creed. Remove the mystery and the character is ruined. Remember when the Fonz went from a cool, soft-spoken loner to an annoying character that would never shut up?


  6. 111. Anth  

    See, this is what I’m talking about: the gun thing was over the top but it was true to Dwight’s character (we’ve always known he’s kept weapons in the office) and it wasn’t completely stupid. Actually it made for a pretty funny episode. This is what happens when you focus on the core cast. This show has enough great characters that you don’t need gimmick guest stars like Will Ferrell or the multitude of celebrity cameos that will probably destroy next week’s finale. (Kathy Bates doesn’t count because Jo is a character that makes sense, whereas Deangelo was clearly a case of the role being written to fit the actor rather than the other way around.) 8/10


  7. 110. theawesomeister  

    Hilarious. This is what the office post-Michael should be, and I love it!


  8. 109. a  

    see, this is what I was talking about. Get back to the characters….enough w/ Michael and his sappy love affairs and drawn out goodbyes. Finally an episode that made me LOL. Of course Dwight actually firing a gun was totally ridiculous but the beginning and ending were fantastic.

    I also think it’s pretty funny that Andy the guy who’s basically been a huge loser since day 1 is suddenly cool and hip…but I’ll take it. It’s better than having him act a damn fool for Deangelo.


  9. 108. werewolf  

    Great. All fun. I measure funny office chapters: laugh/min and it reached season 2 level easily.

    Every character had a line, even Creed. Kevin made me laugh so much in the end typing the code.

    congrats, this was a fun episode.


  10. 107. officefanatic  

    LOVED this episode! Didn’t think about Michael ONCE! Keep it up, we don’t need any big names, the current cast can handle it just fine.


  11. 106. Leona  

    The part where Jim talks about his new lunch break time makes me smile so much. I work 9-5:30 and my bosses decided one day out of the blue that my one and only break would be at 10 a.m. Then got mad at me for getting upset.


  12. 105. Dawn  

    I gave this a 10 out of 10. Yes, it was damn near perfect. I loved every moment, every line, every laugh.

    If we’ve already fomented insurrection, may we be grandfathered in?
    Define foment.
    YOU define foment.
    lololol


  13. 104. jjsally  

    What a surprise–this episode was actually funny in parts. Dwight massaging Kevin while simultaneously climbing up the filing cabinet was a scream. Jim was finally recognizable as Jim and things made a bit more sense. Now all they have to do is make Pam less of a yawn and add a little more Stanley and they’ll be good. Too bad the humor didn’t kick in until the very end of the season, but better late than never.


  14. 103. JC  

    Maybe the best episode of the series. A lot of shows fall apart after a lead character leaves, but this was brilliantly written with real laughs. Dwight was better being more subdued and real than an exaggerated, unrealistic character. I loved that everyone had lines. There is so much talent in the cast and it was finally used. Justin Spitzer (writer)gets it. Keep the show going like this and it will be one of the top shows on TV. Jim turning down acting manager was was a great set up. Loved massage scene.


  15. 102. Hypotheticallyscott  

    Just want to agree with what many have already said, best episode in a long while. This one reminded me of season 2 and 3. Hope this is the direction future episodes are headed.


  16. 101. soup snake  

    I thought this episode was great. It was a huge improvement from last week’s episode! I actually thought Dwight would become Michael’s replacement. I’m bummed that won’t happen, but I really enjoyed seeing Dwight be in charge for a whole episode. There were so many funny moments and hilarious quotes. My favorite things were the piranha in the toilet, jazz hands, the 21 digit copier codes, the separate lunch times, The Fist, Andy screaming when the gun went off, and Toby’s excitement to fill out new forms. I loved Toby’s excitement. I especially loved all of the Jim and Dwight scenes. Those scenes were my favorites out of the entire episode. I thought it was hilarious when Dwight pre-fired him. I loved it when Jim said he promised to be on his worst behavior. I never would have thought that Creed would take over. That was so unexpected!

    Is anyone finding Gabe’s obsession with getting back with Erin a little hard to believe? I really dislike how desperate and pushy he’s become about this whole thing. I never believed that he loved her that much, so where’s all this coming from?


  17. 100. George  

    Dwight really sucks as Regional Manager.


  18. 99. SaraS  

    Can they PLEASE release Gabe from the show? I honestly never thought the character was funny and he’s so, so creepy. Actually every scene he’s in I dislike. Please Office writers..


  19. 98. laural  

    “they think that you were hired because of your good looks, which won’t last long anyway, as your pale skin and severe bone structure imply you’ll age swiftly & poorly” -dwight to jordan.. LOL


  20. 97. laura  

    muchhh better… it’s better without will ferrell

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