The Office: Dwight's Speech, 2.17

Thursday, March 2nd, 2006 | 30 comments


The Office: Dwight's Speech

W: Paul Lieberstein, D: Charles McDougall

Summary: Dwight turns to Michael for public speaking advice, but it’s Jim who provides some effective talking points. Pam continues to plan her wedding, while Jim schedules a vacation.

Favorite quotes

Michael: Heisman!

Dwight: What was the ninth place prize again? A loaf of bread?

Dwight: Question. Do their pizzas play DVDs?

Jim: Dwight was the top salesman of the year at our company. He wins a little prize money, and gets honored at some convention. It is literally the highest possible honor that a northeastern Pennsylvania-based mid-sized paper company regional salesman can attain so …

Jim: What did I do to deserve this?
Pam: Are you sad that Dwight beat you?
Jim: No.
Pam: Are you going to cry, Jim? Do you need a tissue?

Pam: I have a ton of stuff to do for the wedding, and I have to do it in the office. And…that can be kind of awkward, um, just because people … can get all weird about wedding stuff, and I just, I don’t want to offend … Angela, or someone.

Michael: Grapes — seductive.

Michael: Absofruitly.

Michael: Two years in a row. Consecutive.

Dwight: What if I give a really long extended thank you?

Dwight: When I was in the sixth grade, I was a finalist in our school’s spelling bee. It was me against Raj Patel. And I misspelled in front of the entire school … the word “failure.”

Michael: Just, try not to be such an idiot.
Dwight: Is that an insult, or is that part of the public speaking advice?
Michael: Insult.

Pam: I know you and Dad are chipping in for the wedding, but I do not want orange invitations.

Jim: I’m gonna take a trip. And uh … get out of town for awhile, and … go someplace … not … here.

Oscar: I get here early every morning so I can set the thermostat. I like it a little cooler, around 66 degrees. I’m more productive. Maybe some people don’t like it as cold as I do. But I don’t care.

Michael: But seriously, what’s the difference between a salesman and a saleswoman?
Dwight: Saleswoman has a vagina.
Michael: It’s a joke, Dwight, not a sex ed class.

Michael: The difference between a salesman and a saleswoman is boobs.

Stanley: Go ahead, get the wallpaper. Wallpaper the ceiling if you want.

Kelly: Is Brad okay?
Dwight: He will never act again.

Kelly: This is karma, because of what he did to Jennifer Aniston.

Michael: Pam, I’m public speaking. Stop public interrupting me!

Kevin: You should go to Hedonism.
Jim: What is that.
Kevin: It’s like Club Med, but everything is naked.
Jim: I was thinking more like Europe, or something like that, but … good … second choice.

Toby: Been to Amsterdam.
Michael: Oh, oh, okay. You know what? That’s not a toast, you’re not standing up.
Toby (standing up and air-toasting): To Amsterdam.

Dwight: Good morning, Vietnam!

Jim: Dwight, if you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Dwight: I can travel anywhere, except Cuba. And I will travel to New Zealand. And walk the Lord of the Rings trail to Mordor. And then I will hike Mount Doom.

Jim The great speakers thoughout history were not joke tellers, they were people of passion.

Jim: Okay, I didn’t actually major in public speaking. But … I did download speeches from some of history’s famous dictators. Like this one (holding up printout), originally given by Benito Mussolini.

Michael: It’s time, Dwight. The grim reaper is here.

Angela: The very best of luck to you, Dwight.
Dwight: Thank you, Angela.
Pam looks at the camera. She sees through their charade.

Kevin: I’ve never ever seen you take a sick day.
Angela: Well I’ve seen you take enough for the both of us.

Michael: What makes a work environment excellent? Well, there are many things, I believe, that do such of thing of that … nature.

Kevin: I always set it at 69. (Titters)

Kelly: Ryan, do you know when you would want to get married?
Ryan: Actually, I don’t see ever getting married.
Kelly: Oh. (Walks out of the room upset.)
Pam: Ryan, you should be more sensitive. It’s obvious she likes you, and comments like that, they just …
Ryan: I know what I said.

Michael: I’m very sorry, I did not know that you were wearing a hearing aid, and I just thought that you were speaking … abnormally.

Dwight: Blood alone moves the wheels of history! Have you ever asked yourselves in an hour of meditation, which everyone finds during the day, how long we have been striving for greatness?

Dwight: We are warriors! (Applause) Salesmen of northeastern Pennsylvania, I ask you once more, rise, and be worthy of this historical hour! (More applause, then Michael sneaks out while Dwight laughs maniacally.)

Ryan: You really think you’re going to go.
Jim: Yeah, I’m definitely going.
Ryan: Nice … send me a postcard.

Ryan: Jim has worked at the same place for five years. Jim eats the same ham and cheese sandwich every day for lunch. I don’t know, if I were a betting man, I’d say he will have a fun weekend in Philadelphia.

Dwight: I say, salesmen … and women … of the world, unite. We must never acquiesce. For it is together, together that we prevail!

Pam: Australia? I have always wanted to go there.
Jim: I’m going. I’m a little nervous to run into Dwight on his connecting flight to Mordor, but…(Pam laughs)

Michael: Dwight gave a great speech. That’s the word on the street anyway. And I … entertained Dwight to no end, with my bar stories. So I captivated the guy who captivated a thousand guys. Can you believe that? A thousand guys.



In one of Jim’s talking head segments, he shows a printed page of a speech given by Benito Mussolini. This page comes from an actual website called The History Guide, and you can find the page here.

Read more about Dwight’s Speech in Jenna’s TV Guide blog!

The song that is playing when Michael and Dwight enter the convention is “Get Ready For This” by 2 Unlimited.

Read James’ Northern Attack recap.


  1. 1. Marc  

    Second vote :)

    I wonder if it’s just because I’ve been going through withdrawal, but this was one of my favourite episodes. (Both nights!)

  2. 2. David  

    It was definitely a good one. Lots of good quotes! The football opening was pretty sweet. FUMBLE!

    – – – –
    I misspelled, in front of my whole school, the word failure.

  3. 3. Zach  

    This was a hilarious episode, 8th vote.

  4. 4. Jeff  

    WE ARE WARRIORS! Salesmen of Northeastern Pennsylvania I ask you; once more rise and be worthy of this historical hour!

    Even better than Dwight’s speech: Jim trying to escape his predicament of unrequited love. I’ve SO been there.

  5. 5. Jennifer  

    OMG, I *heart* Dwight. :)

  6. 6. Angela  

    I loved Dwight in this episode. I like that we get to see he’s not the unbreakable guy that he tries to be. He reminds of a litle kid which is so cute. I also have to say go Jim! I hope Pam runs off to Australia with you.

  7. 7. Mike  

    Voted 6.

    Not a funny episode as much as a clever one.

    The scene with Pam/Kelly/Ryan…loved it. Some of the smartest writing. People might think Ryan was the jerk of that scene, but it was definitely Pam.

    Dwight’s speech was funny, but I wasn’t dying or anything.

    Disappointing overall.

  8. 8. David  

    Way to go Mike. I agree. I thought it was a solid episode – but not one of the best. No matter, there were enough good lines to make me happy. Then again, I would have taken a poor episode just to end the drought caused by the Olympics.

  9. 9. Eric  

    yeah, i dont know, i didnt think it was a great episode, some parts, but not the great overall episodes like i felt the ones before the break were

  10. 10. tanster  

    Not my favorite episode either, but loved:

    – Michael’s “reverse Heisman” pose
    – Dwight knocking down Ryan, then Creed, then Stanley
    – Kelly’s concern for Brad and Jennifer
    – Toby’s air-toast to Amsterdam
    – Creed’s shout out in Mandarin (I made out “friend” and “how are you” and not much else)
    – Ryan talking about the monotony of Jim’s life
    – Ryan’s icy “I know what I said”
    – Kevin’s Hedonism and 69 lines
    – Angela wishing Dwight luck, Dwight thanking her, and Pam seeing through it all

    But my favorite moment was Dwight’s bobblehead bobbing while Jim pounds his fists on his desk. :)

  11. 11. Jaclyn  

    I thought BJ was very cute in this episode. Mean to Kelly, but cute. Aww, he’s so cute.

    WE ARE WARRIORS!! Hahah.

  12. 12. Amber  

    Okay, so yeah not my favorite episode, but still worth the wait. I have to say that Ryan’s description of Jim’s life was really great. Somehow I think that sardonic observation could only have come from Paul Lieberstein.

  13. 13. Helen  

    It was a pretty good show. Angela was at the speech with a camera standing in the back with a black hat on. It is getting really sad about Jim and Pam. I would like to see them together, but I also like Pam’s boyfriend, even though I can’t remember his name. Keep the great shows coming!!!Love this show!!!Helen

  14. 14. Andrew  

    Not the best episode as far as gut busting laughs. It had its moments. I really looked forward to the speach after all of the promos and then it seemed to fall flat to me. I found the fact that Jim was setting him up to be much more funny than the speach itself.

    Some of my favorite moments from this show are the pranks that Jim pulls on Dwight and the stupid stuff he gets him to do. Remember when he got Dwight to believe that Thursday was Friday? HILARIOUS!!

  15. 15. Jaclyn  

    I read a really interesting theory about Ryan’s terrible comment to Kelly. See if you agree. :]

    “Ryan was being mean to Kelly to prove a point to Pam about Jim.
    -Ryan says, “You’re inviting Jim?”
    -He seems to be wondering, “WTF, this guy is still in love with you and you invite him?”
    -Pam responds, “Yeah, he’s one of my closest friends.”

    Then Pam goes on about how it’s “obvious” that Kelly likes him, so show some sympathy.

    What’s funny about that…she’s being a freaking HYPOCRITE. She’s showing no sympathy in inviting Jim.

    So Ryan’s “I know what I said”, was directed at the Honorable Pamera.”

    If that’s the case, Ryan’s remark wasn’t alllll that mean. :]

  16. 16. tanster  

    Jaclyn, WOW. What an observation!

    I took Ryan’s response to Pam at face value; simply, that he was annoyed at Kelly and wanted to shut her down.

    But I can totally see the “between the lines” theory. Ryan is a pretty sharp guy.

    Speaking of hidden moments, how many of you noticed that it was Angela who was filming Dwight from the back of the convention hall? I totally missed it until someone mentioned it over at the Northern Attack forums!  (Oops, I see that Helen mentioned here.  You guys don’t miss a thing!)

  17. 17. Ping  

    Gotta’ agree that this episode didn’t rank very highly among my fav’s. The opening football scene was funny, the middle segment was pretty flat and unfunny (How many times is Michael going to call everyone into an impromptu meeting in conference room? — getting old). Dwight’s speech seemed too long (okay, we get the bit, he gestures inappropriately, and is ranting based on a dictator’s speech – we don’t need 3 minutes of it). I can genuinely say that I have really liked every episode of both seasons so far (I own season 1’s DVD, too), but “The Speech” ranks at the very bottom for me.

  18. 18. Rachel  

    so…this episode was worth waiting through the Olympic coverage! I love this show!

  19. 19. David  

    Ping –
    I have to disagree with you. I don’t care how many times they use the same “improv meeting consisting of Michael saying inappropriate things” – I still find it funny. You get some great quotes out of those scenes.

  20. 20. Corey  

    Good episode, good speech. Good opening. Dwight’s Announcement was hilarious.

  21. 21. RACHEL_NY  

    Not my favorite episode either…but a classic non the less. The speech, oh my gawd the speech! Hilarious!

  22. 22. tanster  

    Congratulations to Amber, Jaclyn, and Ping for winning’s iTunes Drawing this week!

    I have just emailed you — please let me know which episode you would like. :)

  23. 23. Becky  

    “You make me wanna be a better salesman.”

  24. 24. Ben  

    Creed’s Chinese hello translates in mandarin to “Hello to my Chinese friends.” The only problem is that they don’t speak mandarin in Hong Kong. They speak cantonese, which is totally different. Oh well, great episode anyway.

  25. 25. Nancy  

    I thought this episode was so funny…… Finally something else to watch other than Seinfeld repeats for me………

  26. 26. Gus  

    This episode may not be up to standerd, but it was the episode that got my into the office. I went to a friends house and saw it then came home the next day and told my parents to download it on itunes. Can we not rate episodes in season 2 for some reason?

  27. 27. VFDJ42  

    This is one of the best episodes!

  28. 28. will  

    I loved the speech i thought it was the best part of the episode. It was so different from the normal humor. And I didn’t know what to make of Ryan’s remark it seemed randomly mean – I think that is a great explanation.

  29. 29. Mr A Knife  

    One of my favourites of Season 2.

  30. 30. EstherOkure  

    Honestly speaking, I never liked this episode, it was the weakest episode in season 2

  • Advertisement

  • Welcome

    Welcome to OfficeTally, the top fansite for NBC's hit comedy, 'The Office.'

  • The Office Store

    • The Office The Complete Series DVD
  • OfficeTally on Twitter

  • Search