The Office: Lotto, 8.03

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The Office: Lotto

Writer: Charlie Grandy, Director: John Krasinski

Summary (NBC): All the warehouse workers win the lottery — after the warehouse guys win the lotto and quit, everyone in the office dreams of what it would be like to win big. Andy and Darryl search for new warehouse employees while Jim, Erin, Dwight, and Kevin get a taste of warehouse life.

The Office Lotto extras

The Office Lotto rating

In a poll conducted October 6-10, 2011, Tallyheads rated this episode: 6.43/10

See all The Office Season 8 ratings.

The Office Lotto quotes

Oscar: I bet this guy didn’t leave his weed in the car.

Kelly: You want to just let him die, you scumbag?

Kevin: When I start dying, I will honk the horn three times. That means, save the dog.

Kelly: Don’t try to get in on it now, Michael Vick.
Darryl: Hey hey hey. Vick did his time.

Andy: The warehouse crew won the lottery yesterday.

Darryl: They won… playing my birthday.

Meredith: We’re looking at at least one suicide and one weird sex thing.
Oscar: At least.

Dwight (imitating Jim): Hey, Pam, let’s buy expensive bathrobes and hug.

Jim: I’d either bike to my job at the kayak shop or I’d kayak to my job at the bike shop.
Pam: And then on the weekends, would you hackysack back to reality and spend time with your wife and kids?
Jim: Woah, saucy, I thought you liked Maine.

Ryan: Soho is mainly lofts, but okay.

Jim: Stop. I’m a barista in your fantasy?
Pam: Well, in your fantasy, we’re Stephen King characters.

Meredith: Get. A. Divorce. Get. A. Divorce.

Kelly: I mean I’m getting paid a dollar a year. Okay you can chill.

Kevin: Good old Kevin. He’ll do anything. Well guess what. I will not do a good job.

Darryl: When did I get so fat?

Darryl: I decided to stay home. Eat a bunch of tacos in my basement.

Darryl: You can’t air out a basement. And taco air is heavy. It settles at the lowest point.

Andy: I don’t know where Darryl is. I suspect, probably our Darryl is inside of Fat Darryl.

Andy: What, no Newhart fans?

Darryl: Madge and a couple of other guys might start a strip club. But on a boat. And Hide is investing in an energy drink for Asian homosexuals.

Dwight: Grunting is scientifically proven to add more power. Ask any female tennis player. Or her husband.

Andy: Are we scaring them straight?
Darryl: I hope so.

Darryl: Who gets a soy allergy at 35? And why is soy in everything?

Ryan: Nice. Right back where I like you.

Ryan: Everybody wants to be rich. But nobody wants to work for it.

Andy: Painfully real, what is happening right now.

Dwight: Theirs is more of a physical intelligence. Like baboons or elephants.

Erin: I like it a lot, but they hate it. So drop it.

Andy: Does anyone get distracted easily by bubble wrap?

Darryl: I don’t want to be here anymore. Fire me.

Andy: I really hope that’s what he and I mean.

Oscar: Dean got fixated on his calves, and his triceps went to hell.

Nate: I just can’t distinguish between everything I’m hearing.

Darryl: Make me manager or fire me.

Nate: I technically don’t have a hearing problem.

Darryl: My future’s not going to be determined by seven little white lotto balls. It’s going to be determined by two big black balls. I control my destiny. I do.

Jim: Señor Loadenstein. That’s stupid.
Kevin: Tell them why it’s called that, Jim.
Jim: Porque es muy rápido.

Phyllis: Yeah. I lost my client.

Creed: I already won the lottery. I was born in the U.S. of A., baby. And as backup, I have a Swiss passport.

Toby: I would spend a lot of time launching my true crime podcast, The Flenderson Files.

Jim: I can fish right from the window of Pam’s pottery studio. And we can chat any time we want.
Pam: Just like now.
Jim: Just like now. Too bad the schools are terrible. But what are you going to do about that.
Pam: What are you going to do.

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