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Writers: Gene Stupnitsky and Lee Eisenberg
Director: Ken Whittingham
Summary (NBC): After meeting Jan in Philadelphia for the annual office supply convention, Michael organizes a party in his room for fellow conventioneers.
The Office The Convention extras
The Office The Convention Quotes
Michael: Did you see Oprah yesterday?
Pam: Maybe you should wait before you adopt … or not adopt.
Michael: Find out if there’s a cheaper … less expensive, baby out there.
Michael: You know what, Pam? If in ten years, I haven’t had a baby, and you haven’t had a baby …
Pam: No Michael.
Michael: Twenty years.
Pam: No Michael.
Pam (thinks for a moment): Sure.
Michael: It’s a deal.
Michael: Guess where I am going. I will give you a hint. It is a booze-fueled sex romp, where anything goes. You are correct, sir!
Michael: And Jim Halpert is going to be coming. Which will be fun. Poor, little guy, has been stuck working under Josh, the poor man’s Michael Scott. As he is known around my condo.
Dwight: Don’t be mad. It is a business trip.
Angela: But I don’t understand, it’s for managers.
Dwight: Monkey, I am an A-R-M, Assistant Regional Manager!
Angela: I know! I was just really hoping we could spend some time together. (Dwight is silent.) Are you still there?
Dwight: Yes, monkey …
Angela: Don’t “monkey” me! You can’t wait to get out of here, A-R-M!
Angela: In the Martin family, we like to say, “Looks like someone took the slow train from Philly.” That’s code for “check out the slut.” (Swats at a fly) Why are there flies in here?
Kelly: So what are you wearing.
Pam (pointing at what she is wearing): This.
Kelly (after a moment): You look so pretty.
Pam: I’m kind of nervous. I haven’t been on a first date in nine years. Probably shouldn’t broadcast that.
Kelly: Well remember, no matter how much you may want to, do not sleep with him on the first date. It gives him all the power.
Michael: Sleep with who? Whom, whom, whom …
Michael: Oh my god, I have a great idea. You know what should do? Be hilarious. Wear your wedding dress.
Michael: Word of advice, unbutton that top button. Let those things breathe.
Michael: Any message you want me to relay to Jim?
Pam: Um …
Michael: Um. Okay. Um.
Michael: You got that?
Dwight: I got it.
Michael: Write it down.
Dwight and Michael (chanting in unison): Um, um, um, um …
Creed: There’s my girl … (approaches Angela) Noticed you handing out some shekels. How would one get on that train?
Creed: Andrea is the office bitch. You’ll get used to her. (Reaching out to shake Meredith’s hand) Creed.
Dwight: Can I have my neck pillow back?
Michael: There he is. Traitor. Traitor! Traitor!
Michael: The prod, the progidal, my son returns.
Michael: It’s like with firemen, you don’t leave your brothers behind. Even if you find out, that there is a better fire in Connecticut.
Jim: Really good to see you, man.
Michael: Yeah. Wow, I didn’t expect that.
Jim: You know, when I saw Dwight, I realized how stupid and petty all those pranks I pulled on him were. And then he spoke. I wonder how hard it would be to get a copy of his room key.
Kevin: So did you hear?
Kevin: Pam’s back on the market again.
Toby: Really? She’s dating?
Kevin: If I weren’t engaged, I would so hit that.
Jim: Oh Dwight, I missed you so much.
Dwight (trying to pull away from Jim): You’re so immature!
Michael: The 800-pound gorilla in the room, Carol.
Jan: Step away from me, Michael.
Michael: Thank you for being so brave with all of this. Thank you.
Kelly: I don’t even know what they mean half the time.
Michael: Ain’t no party like a Scranton party cuz a Scranton party don’t stop!
Josh: A shot of Midori, perhaps.
Michael: I love inside jokes. I’d love to be a part of one someday.
Michael: Suh-WAG! Stuff We All Get.
Dwight: Why do they call him “The Bus”?
Michael: Because he’s afraid to fly.
Toby: I just completely forgot what I was going to say!
Jan: I can’t stay on top of you 24-7.
Phyllis: You should order the most expensive thing on the menu. So he knows you’re worth it.
Stanley: If you do that, you’re going to have to put out.
Phyllis: Well yeah, you’ll have to put out.
Angela: Is there a key for ‘Jane Doe’?
Michael: Jim, looks like you picked a bad time to defect, my friend!
Michael: Tell him I will give him general specifics tomorrow, okay?
Michael: Jim and I have different definitions of friendship. I think it’s talking and being friends, and Jim thinks it’s moving to Connecticut and being best friends with Josh. Well … phooey on that. I’m done. I’m not going to be speaking with him anymore.
Jan: Well, Michael, I underestimated you.
Michael: Yeah, well maybe next time, you will estimate me.
Jim: Oh my god! Dwight got a hooker! Oh my god, I gotta call … I gotta call somebody, I don’t know who to call … Dwight got a HOOKER!
Kelly: He loves ketchup.
Pam: More freedom fries!
Pam: I went on a date. It wasn’t a love connection. I think when I like someone again, I’ll just kinda know.
Michael: You like cosmos?
Jim: I transferred because of Pam.
Jim: Now we’re friends.
Michael: Best friends.
Michael: Some people need dozens of friends to say, “look at me, I’m popular.” But not me, I’m very picky, I need three, maybe two. When you meet that someone special, you just know. Because a real relationship can’t be forced. It should just come about effort-leh-lessly.
Michael: Woah, what are all those stains?
Dwight: Blood, urine, or semen.
Michael: Oh god, I hope it’s urine.
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