The Office: Threat Level Midnight, 7.17

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Threat Level Midnight

Writer: B.J. Novak, Director: Tucker Gates

Summary (NBC): After eleven years of writing, shooting, re-shooting and editing, Michael is finally ready to present his long-awaited action movie, “Threat Level Midnight,” to his coworkers and love interest Holly. But is he ready for their reactions? “Threat Level Midnight” stars Michael Scott as “Agent Michael Scarn,” Dwight Schrute as Scarn’s butler sidekick, and Jim Halpert as archnemesis “Goldenface,” along with many familiar faces from Michael’s past. Guest stars: Amy Ryan, Melora Hardin, Linda Purl, Rashida Jones, David Denman, Andy Buckley.

The Scarn

The Office Threat Level Midnight extras

The Office Threat Level Midnight rating

In a poll conducted February 17-21, 2011, Tallyheads rated this episode: 8.53/10

See all The Office Season 7 ratings.

The Office Threat Level Midnight quotes

Manually transcribed by tanster :)

Michael: Clean up on aisle five.

Michael: After three years of writing, one year of shooting, four years of re-shooting, and two years of editing, I have finally completed my movie, Threat Level: Midnight.

Jim: Threat Level: Midnight is the great lost film of Michael Scott.
Pam: We’re all in it. From like years and years ago. It’s like a home movie.
Jim: Yeah, if Michael Scott did your home movie.

Pam: Everything pointed to it being a comedy.

Pam: Let’s stay positive. And no laughing, no comments, just positive energy. And we’ll have a pure fun day. Okay?
Creed: Thanks, Mom.

Michael: It’s got action. It’s got heart. It’s got symbolism.
Holly: It’s got you.
Michael: It’s got a lot of me.

Michael Scarn’s address:
Scarn Manor
451 Hanover Lane
Clarks Summit, PA 18411

Dwight: I play Samuel, Michael Scarn’s robot butler.

Michael: Dwight does not play a robot.

Michael: Goldenface. This make it personal.

Darryl: I gave up a lot of weekends because I thought it would be good for my daughter to see a black man as president. Even in a silly home movie. What a stupid waste of time.

Darryl (President): I own the stadium. I can’t see it blown up. It’s my retirement plan.

Darryl (President): Scarn, will you find these hostages and save the game?
Michael: Heads I do it, tails I don’t. Best out of seven.

Michael: Looks like there’s going to be a clean-up on aisle five.

Jim (Goldenface): See, I’m going to lure him here. Then I’m going to kill everybody. Then I’m going to dig up Scarn’s dead wife. And I’m going to hump her real good.
Jim: I did not love the dialogue. Or the character. I took the role to impress a receptionist. Who will remain nameless.

Stanley (narrator): Scarn didn’t know a hockey stick from a Slim Jim.

Creed (Cherokee Jack): Mop the ice.

Ryan: Oh your marks, get set…
Jim (Goldenface): …die!

Michael: Nice try, Goldenface. Except you forgot one thing. To kill me.

Jim (Goldenface): Oh by the way: how’s your wife doing?

Dwight (Samuel): I’m intercepting a name. Jasmine Windsong. She works for Goldenface.

Dwight (Samuel): What I can’t figure out is, who is The Funky Cat?
Michael: Not who, what. The Funky Cat is the hippest jazz club in town.

Dwight: He cut the part where my circuit board malfunctioned? Then what was the point of spilling the drink on me?

Jan (Jasmine Windsong): The hostages are under the stadium.

Michael: Check, please.

Pam: You have to let us go, Goldenface. We have families!

Jim (Goldenface): This is going to show them, that I mean business.

Michael: Far and away the most expensive shot of the movie. But it was intregral to the story.

Michael: The joke’s on you, Goldenface. That man was a wanted animal rapist.

Michael: Hey Goldenface.
Jim (Goldenface): Yeah?
Michael: Go puck yourself.

Michael: It’ll take a lot more than a bullet to the brain, lungs, heart, back, and balls to kill Michael Scarn.

Michael: Where had I gone wrong. All I wanted to do was start a family with my beautiful wife. But somewhere along the way, things got messed up.

Michael: Don’t ever change, Billy.

Michael: Goldenface is going to blow up the NHL All-Star game tomorrow.

Karen: Ever banged an entire bachelorette party, baby?

Karen: Why are you singling my line out, like a million years later?

Billy: Hey kid, hit G-9 on the jukebox.

The Scarn
Well my name’s Michael Scarn and I’m here to say
I’m about to do The Scarn in a major way
You jump to the right and you shake a hand
Then you jump to the left and shake that hand
You meet new friends
You tie some yarn
And that’s how you do The Scarn

Packer: If doing The Scarn is gay, then I’m the biggest queer on earth!

Kevin: It’s like one of the best movies I’ve ever seen in my life.

Ryan: You should enter it in festivals.
Kevin: Or carnivals.

Andy: Some people are really popping on screen.

Michael: This isn’t Ocean’s 11 where you get together with all your friends and you just have fun and you don’t care about how it turns out.

Michael: This has been my dream for eleven years. Eleven years that I could have been working on The Scarn Nebulus.

Michael: I have my book on business, Somehow I Manage. I have my HBO Comedy Special, Here I Go Again. Dot dot dot.

Michael: I’m sorry I called you a pain in the ass. I’m angry, and I love you.

Michael: I’m a huge Woody Allen fan. Although I’ve only seen Antz.

Michael: Don’t listen to your critics. Listen to your fans.

Michael: This one’s for you, Cherokee Jack.

Pam: Why is your face gold?
Jim (Goldenface): Why do you care?
Pam: I’m just making conversation.

Creed (Cherokee Jack): Take it out on the puck. All on the puck.

Andy (Billy): Hey! We got sports games again!

Michael: Oh yeah, I guess I did let him be a robot.

Andy: Whoa whoa whoa. Isn’t the president evil?

Aw, yeah!
Threat Level Midnight
Makes all the girlies feel all right
From Madonna to Madeleine Albright
Threat Level Midnight
It’s a threat
A level
A level level threat
He’s the greatest hockey star I’ve ever seen yet
Threat Level what? Midnight
Threat Level who? Michael Scarn
Threat Level why? Apartheid
Gotta fight it, free Mandela
Peace, I’m out

Icon provided by pessimistreader.


  1. Yeeesssss!!!!! I’m so damn glad David Wallace is returning to the show. He’s the real boss Michael deserved to have (not to mention Ed Truck), better than Jan, or Charles, or Gabe, but not better than Jo. It’s also good to see Karen and Roy again. Jan is already back, so is Holly, and Packer. Danny should appear more. And I want to see more of Helene, and Pam’s dad, and Jim’s prankster brothers.

  2. The only thing that can make this day better is ice cream! So excited for this episode. I miss seeing David Denman (what a cutie!)

  3. I know this is a HUGE nod to fans and stuff, but am I the only one that isn’t happy for this? Suddenly bringing up a joke from an episode from years ago, plus it seems totally out of character. I dunno. It’ll probably be funny though, at least.

  4. HELLLL YEA man!! everybody’s here in this episode! David Wallace, Jan, Karen, Roy….what i’m wondering are Karen and Roy’s reactions that P&J had Cece. they already knew P&J were engaged, but when they find out bout Cece…?? wow. Roy: he loved Pam with all his heart. Karen: moved on and married and had her baby. This better not be Steve’s last episode! he said on Ellen he’s doing 25 and did 15, so….hopefully not! “Threat Level Midnight”. hmm?? this might be when corporate tells Michael that he’s almost over with his career. or David might offer him a job, so many reasons why they’d all be in this specific episode. can’t wait <3

  5. @Anthony Emm, I don’t get how it’s out of character? Not for Michael it’s not. He’s always had that side to him. And you know how much he loves his video camera. This will be the ultimate “Michael Scott Joint”. A Great Scott! production.

    What i’m most interested in is how he got the others to go along with it, and take it seriously? Especially back in season 1-2. Unless it’s not like that at all.

  6. @AlyCarell – I don’t think Karen and Roy, or any of these other past characters, will be in the present, but will be shown in this movie/documentary that Michael had been filming all these years. Just my take on it anyway :)

  7. ..But how did Michael get everyone to be a part of his movie? Can’t see how David Wallace would willingly act in Threat Level: Midnight.

    Anyway, the idea is SUPERB and I can’t wait to see the result!

  8. @JimisBigBird I didn’t mean him making a movie is uncharacteristic (that’s totally something he’d do). Nah I meant, if he ends up making some amazing movie and going to Hollywood, or Hollywood even considering him.
    Obviously nobody in the office would act seriously, except for Dwight, so it’s gonna be either hilariously bad, or awfully good.
    And if he DOES sell the movie, even though it’s a blatant James Bond rip, well that just wouldn’t be making sense.
    Sorry to get all into it, I just don’t want them to try to force a happy ending on the character.

  9. In “Product Recall”, Season 3, Michael announces that it is Threat Level Midnight when they find out about the obscene watermark…!

    Everyone in the room. Stat! F & C, double time.

  10. Threat Level Midnight

    Maybe Michael has finally found his Catherine Zeta-Jones ;) (aka Holly)

    i mean, cmon. it’s been building up to that moment. definitely would be a good ending for Michael Scott, don’t ya think?

  11. Anthony, have you actually heard somewhere that he sells the movie? Michael going to Hollywood is beyond absurd, certainly that isn’t how the story will play out.

  12. If he goes to Hollywood, i agree, rather ridiculous. Hope it doesn’t go that way. Although it has been hinted at.

  13. i don’t see this as meaning that michael’s making his movie at all. i think it’s a play on the movie title we all know and love, and that the episode is about “threats” to dundermifflin’s intersocial life as we know it. the return of jim and pam’s and michael’s ex’s? that’s threat level midnight, for sure.

  14. Hey Everyone! Long time viewer, first time poster…
    I’m pretty stoked for this episode! I was actually just on location for the filming of this ep. and it was SO Awesome to see all the old characters’ cars! If you ever get the chance to drop by the set, it’s totally worth it!! Odds are you won’t see any cast, but I did catch a few of the writers during lunch!!

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